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Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML

by anon / 09/25/2015 at 12:43am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, one of my idiot classmates decided it was a good idea to throw his water bottle across the room to his friend. Unfortunately, I was sitting in front of his friend. I now have a very noticeable bruise and bump near my temple along with a headache. Everybody laughed at me. Even the teacher. FML

by WhyM3Th0ugh / 09/10/2015 at 7:21pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, during dinner with my wife's family, my daughter suddenly yelled, "DADDY TICKLES MOMMY'S BUM BUM!" I don't think I've ever received dirtier glares in my life. FML

by shh / 10/09/2015 at 3:06am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, I decided to hang my $200 cocktail dress outside for faster drying after hand washing it. I learned that it dries much faster when torn into several pieces, courtesy a stray dog that randomly appeared at my house. FML

Today, I drove to my college campus for my 8 a.m. class, parked, walked the mile and a half to my classroom, just to find out class had been cancelled. The prof didn't send an email because she couldn't remember her password. I paid $1200 to be taught by this woman, who has a doctorate. FML

by crb25453 / 10/15/2015 at 1:07am / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, my company let me go after 3 months. A day before my wedding and with zero advance notice. FML

by ryu1356 / 09/22/2015 at 9:24am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a love letter during class and told him to read it when he got home. He texted me later asking me why I gave him my school assignment. I must have handed the love letter in to my teacher. FML

by helpme / 09/25/2015 at 9:46am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love

Today, I drove in heavy rain for the first time, by myself. I had been told to drive below the speed limit, and be extra careful of the cars around me. Nobody had told me about thunder scaring a cow that would then escape from the corral and hit my car. FML

by damaged / 11/03/2015 at 10:24pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to celebrate our 4-year anniversary with a shadow box I had made for her of our memories over the years. I left her house single, with a small bag of "breakup candy." FML

by zeeman2015 / 10/27/2015 at 9:32am / United States (Texas) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking through school when I noticed an advertisement for school picture retakes. It read, "Bad hair day?" Underneath was my picture. That's my normal hair. FML

by TheLemonMan / 10/15/2015 at 2:04pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend told me I should stop talking about his major gambling problem because he still loves me even though I gained weight. Apparently that evens things out. FML

by desigirl / 11/09/2015 at 8:03pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I found out that the huge project I've been working on for the past week is actually a group project. Everyone in my group knew. They were just letting me do the entire thing by myself because I'm "smart". FML

by AkiAnime / 01/21/2016 at 7:02pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids