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Today, I noticed there was a red truck following me. I walked as fast as I could. I then ran. It followed. I slipped on some ice and fell. I was unable to get up. It stopped beside me and the driver got out. I then said hello to my husband's new car. FML

#7305863
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14226) - you deserved it (20983)

On 01/12/2010 at 7:55pm - misc - by meee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I saw my dad help himself to a sex stamina drink. He and mom share the hotel bed next to mine. FML

#7336128
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18450) - you deserved it (2115)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:54am - intimacy - by windskurfer - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML

#7263195
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5850) - you deserved it (39173)

On 01/10/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Lady (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML

#8636971
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21027) - you deserved it (4972)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:18am - misc - by popeye (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML

#10870072
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37198) - you deserved it (10495)

On 05/30/2010 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by lonelyandbored - United States (Virginia)

Today, while I was backing out of the my work's parking lot, I hit my boss' truck. While he was in it. FML

#7939097
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10306) - you deserved it (21315)

On 02/06/2010 at 2:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

#8763974
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22608) - you deserved it (5500)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by sleeper - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that my boss is able to read all the emails my coworker and I send each other. Most of them are about how she is such a shitty boss. FML

#15281483
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9419) - you deserved it (38667)

On 03/12/2011 at 3:34am - work - by mommyfairy - United States

Today, I was driving home with my dad after buying a new truck. We were on the freeway and the engine wasn't revving up very much. My dad thought that something was wrong with my transmission, so he reached over to change gears. Most cars won't go into reverse at high speeds. Mine does. FML

#12706799
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26603) - you deserved it (2785)

On 08/23/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had the day off from work. I did all the chores hoping to free up time to spend with my husband tonight. When he came home, he looked around and decided that since there was no need for him to stick around and help clean, he'd head to the bar to watch the game with the guys. FML

#14666590
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25611) - you deserved it (3441)

On 01/21/2011 at 9:18pm - misc - by marriageblows - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML

#14029535
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25435) - you deserved it (6415)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:08pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I discovered that I've lost thirty pounds since having my second child. However, I still weigh just as much as I did when I was full-term with my first child. FML

#14600676
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22758) - you deserved it (7931)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML

#14190731
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31690) - you deserved it (3713)

On 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by Username - United States (Georgia)



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