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Today, I resorted to buying some expensive flowers and sending them to my boss anonymously with a mysterious love letter, just to get her to lighten the hell up and stop constantly harassing and berating me over every little thing. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2015 at 2:40am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, after months of running up four flights of stairs to what I thought was the only male restroom in the building, I found another one. It's always been just around the corner from my desk. FML

by fleckney26 / 10/01/2015 at 10:43am / United Kingdom / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I complained about being bored to death on Facebook. Someone took it as a suicide threat and called the police. They showed up at my apartment and my workplace. FML

by Nucleus / 10/08/2015 at 9:48am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Health

Today, I finally got the courage to leave my controlling and manipulative ex. He took it well. And by "took it well", I mean he camped out my doorstep, held some of my belongings hostage, and tried to blackmail me into staying with him. FML

by badtasteinmen / 10/15/2015 at 2:19pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I received the honorary title of "student of the month," because I'm the only quiet kid during class. Truth is, I just have no friends. I was given an award for being socially awkward. FML

by AlwaysAfraid / 10/23/2015 at 6:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a writing assignment back. After meeting with my professor specially after class and meticulously combing through every word of that paper, I got a low D. Turns out, he graded me down on every suggestion of his that I took. FML

by ScreweD- / 11/16/2015 at 4:39pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I threw away a bunch of candy wrappers from my pocket, I also managed to throw away $20. That was the only money I had. FML

by duckthisspit / 10/31/2015 at 11:23pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 9 year old shitblossom of a sister decided to wake me up by hocking a loogie into my mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2015 at 12:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, the button on my husband's pants popped for the 4th time. I already used the strongest thread and buttons. He's obviously put on some weight around the stomach, but he won't listen to reason and still blames me for my sewing, which is making his pants "turn against him". FML

by Robyn / 01/05/2016 at 3:43am / Belgium (Limburg) / Miscellaneous

Today, I presented my assigned chapter for a book we're currently reading in my English class. I really like the book, so I've been reading ahead. When I summarized the chapter, I accidentally spoiled a major plot twist that was actually in the next chapter. FML

by shake666 / 12/04/2015 at 12:50pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me I should stop talking about his major gambling problem because he still loves me even though I gained weight. Apparently that evens things out. FML

by desigirl / 11/09/2015 at 8:03pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML

by pregnantapparently / 12/10/2015 at 1:45pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I was talking to one of my supervisors at my new job. He asked if I knew a professor at the school I recently graduated from, and I decided to babble on about how shitty of a professor he was and how much I loathed his class. He then looked at me and said, "That's my dad." FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2016 at 9:51pm / United States (Kansas) / Work