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Today, I was offered a promotion but for the same pay. Promotion... WTF? FML

#2234
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21155) - you deserved it (1828)

On 01/22/2009 at 5:35pm - work - by Promo girl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML

#2475
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4268) - you deserved it (34388)

On 01/24/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by Farva - United States (Michigan)

Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry..." FML

#41470
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25312) - you deserved it (3648)

On 02/14/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mother was driving me and my friends to a wedding. My friends and I were talking about birth control, and then my mother chimes in, "Yeah, I used to use the sponge, but the spermicide would always burn your dad's penis." FML

#42695
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36250) - you deserved it (6254)

On 02/14/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Grossed out (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother told me she was going out of town this weekend. I re-assured her that I would not throw a party. She replied "Oh, like you have enough friends to do that." FML

#98981
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41598) - you deserved it (3727)

On 02/21/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by stinker (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I just realised that the coworker I refused to leave my wife for is now happily married with someone else, while I'm now divorced. FML

#758
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9682) - you deserved it (25387)

On 12/29/2008 at 11:34pm - love - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that the dog humping my leg was the most action I've gotten in months. FML

#5320
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41565) - you deserved it (7479)

On 02/02/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by a-non (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecologist exam online. He asked me to watch it with him. FML

#6607
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42233) - you deserved it (3704)

On 02/03/2009 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by Escape! (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I said that at least I was always there for him when he needed me. He said "When did I need you?" FML

#29762
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31078) - you deserved it (5485)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by rainyday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML

#13786
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33878) - you deserved it (2367)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by max (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a box in the mail from my mom which I assumed was a care package. It was a scale to encourage me to lose weight. FML

#55512
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31291) - you deserved it (5367)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:26pm - health - by Loot (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was DJ'ing a wedding. The groom wanted a song played for his grandma and grandpa. I announce over the microphone for his grandparents to come to the dance floor for a special song. Turns out his grandparents have been dead for over a year and the song was supposed to be in dedication. FML

#116388
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48873) - you deserved it (9145)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by holladaddy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a performance evaluation meeting with my boss. He told me I was the best in my department, and that the productivity has never been higher before I started working here. Oh, and he said that because everything is working so well, they don't need me as much, so he's cutting my hours. FML

#142534
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53223) - you deserved it (2333)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:05pm - work - by lolgarbl (man) - United States (California)



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