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Today, I met a nice girl and decided to ask her out. Later on she showed me a picture of her with her family, she was wearing red and everyone else black. I said jokingly "you look like the adopted child" only to find out that her had parents died and she was indeed adopted. FML

#5122351
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15025) - you deserved it (36368)

On 09/08/2009 at 3:11am - love - by WanstinChurchHill (man) - United States (California)

Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out of the outlet and it hit me in the face cutting both my top and bottom lip. FML

#5980515
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9210) - you deserved it (30973)

On 10/24/2009 at 8:41pm - work - by Clutz (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

#6391764
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25486) - you deserved it (14342)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:02pm - animals - by eyesightfail (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I left work at 11pm. It was cold and dark, and I was anxious to get home, so I cut across some soccer fields to get to my car. About halfway across, the sprinklers came on. FML

#5860815
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24150) - you deserved it (7977)

On 10/17/2009 at 1:18am - work - by legotron (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I let my dad borrow my car. I found out a few hours later that he has had a suspended license for three years. How did I find out? He got pulled over and arrested. My car was also impounded. I'm a college student barely making it as it is. Guess who can't afford the impound fees? FML

#6256423
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31816) - you deserved it (2989)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by brokeasajoke (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went over to my best friend's house only to have his little brother run up to us and confess his love to me. His little brother is twelve and I've tutored him for a year. I'm seventeen and male. Now my best friend thinks I 'taught' him something weird. He won't talk to me. FML

#6422707
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29618) - you deserved it (2194)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by Yue (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "so does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML

#6387420
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40752) - you deserved it (2613)

On 11/21/2009 at 12:59am - love - by Fail (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I sat right next to the door on the bus. When I went to get up, a man tripped and pushed me down the exit door stairs. I fell down and legitimately broke my ankle. While tending to my ankle, the bus doors closed and my backpack with my laptop, notes and calculator drove away. FML

#6280011
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34821) - you deserved it (1984)

On 11/12/2009 at 9:43pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

#6194907
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19559) - you deserved it (2078)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that some men think it's ok to clip their fingernails, at the table, in a restaurant, on a first date. FML

#6420618
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39285) - you deserved it (2761)

On 11/23/2009 at 5:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I did laundry in my apartment complex's laundry room. I put my stuff in the dryer and returned to my room. The sign on the door says the laundry room closes at 10 pm, but that's rarely true. Tonight it was. I have to wait until 8 am. I work at 7:30. My work clothes are in there. FML

#6253724
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8413) - you deserved it (35769)

On 11/11/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Miserable (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML

#6226609
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13740) - you deserved it (33325)

On 11/09/2009 at 10:18am - animals - by Kirta (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss told me when I transfer to a Target in Orlando I should work in the clothing department. He said it would be a good way for me to meet chicks. I told him all the girls who work in clothing in that store are ugly as hell. Apparently his daughters work there. I never knew that. FML

#7210467
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8570) - you deserved it (27189)

On 01/08/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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