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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was so bored at my job as a receptionist that I actually got excited when the phone rang. FML

#18067160
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23258) - you deserved it (3076)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by anonymous - United States

Today, I got stuck in a three-hour traffic jam because I sneezed and missed the road I was meant to take. FML

#19700381
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22562) - you deserved it (4240)

On 05/29/2012 at 6:24pm - misc - by blocked (man) - United States

Today, I was at the airport and I offered to help an elderly man carry his golf clubs. Apparently, I sounded sarcastic and condescending, because he started screaming at me about etiquette and manners in front of the entire airport. FML

#19879557
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17438) - you deserved it (1988)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by JDBigDawg - United States (California)

Today, I was going through Facebook photos of a pep rally in the hopes that I'd be in at least one of them. I was in one alright. Pulling out a wedgie. FML

#20096548
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18534) - you deserved it (5268)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:50am - misc - by awks - United States (Virginia)

Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML

#20174439
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23346) - you deserved it (2390)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

#20433442
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28666) - you deserved it (6152)

On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML

#20408937
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11010) - you deserved it (29819)

On 12/20/2012 at 1:17pm - misc - by ScoozieBooze (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

#20413058
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34513) - you deserved it (2925)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:06am - work - by Iknoweverything (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

#20473074
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29409) - you deserved it (2905)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:49pm - work - by me - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage". When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML

#20509033
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26307) - you deserved it (3437)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by howannoying - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML

#20571924
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35018) - you deserved it (2433)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by effiestonem154 (woman) - United States

Today, I returned from a 5-day cruise for my senior spring break, filled with gorgeous sorority girls from all over the country. I was seasick the whole time. FML

#20553243
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29449) - you deserved it (4765)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:59am - misc - by captainlame (man) - United States

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

#20580301
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31349) - you deserved it (5128)

On 04/08/2013 at 4:30am - work - by Anonymous -



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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