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Today, I handed my resume in to a cafe that was hiring. I returned home and noticed a voicemail, it was one from the boss for a trial. I eagerly returned the call, showing my enthusiasm. Without thinking, I ended with "ok love you. *GASP* ah, BYE" and quickly hung up. FML

#6774546
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9843) - you deserved it (23256)

On 12/16/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by babyfatt - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML

#7150091
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6474) - you deserved it (17807)

On 01/04/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by B-ran - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that I was being laid off via an email that wasn't even spell checked. FML

#7465269
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25620) - you deserved it (1972)

On 01/20/2010 at 10:31pm - work - by TheoBuckner (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my godmother informed me that the rule of thumb my ex had used for our relationship during a year of cohabitation was taken directly from a Cesar Millan book on "How to train dogs." FML

#7492319
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19275) - you deserved it (2870)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:17am - love - by housebroken (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my happily married father has been hiring escorts on-line for 3 years. FML

#7517323
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17127) - you deserved it (2082)

On 01/23/2010 at 7:21am - intimacy - by T.C (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I found the Christmas 'newsletter' my mom sends out every year to our extended family and friends that details our activities and achievements of the past year. I wasn't mentioned once. FML

#7564302
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21438) - you deserved it (3107)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:32am - misc - by notworthy (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML

#7946141
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8993) - you deserved it (18637)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Sully (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my grandmother gave me a sex talk on how I should take "precautions", right in the middle of a packed bus station. I'm 21. FML

#8290111
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16703) - you deserved it (1838)

On 02/15/2010 at 5:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, while walking to my car through the snow, I noticed the sunroof was open and 2 feet of snow had poured in. Angry, I opened the door to start cleaning. That's when I noticed all the wildlife that had taken refuge inside from the cold. Not only were my seat cushions wet, they were torn open. FML

#9085698
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8387) - you deserved it (21799)

On 03/14/2010 at 9:39pm - misc - by grann (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

#13496892
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8615) - you deserved it (30138)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:44am - work - by sofakingweetodit - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while babysitting, I brought over some colouring-in sheets as an activity. I said that I should bring some Christmas-themed ones for next time. The little girl then turned to me and said "If there is a next time." I've been put on probation by an 8-year-old. FML

#13936248
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21460) - you deserved it (3605)

On 11/22/2010 at 11:33am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I started a new job. I lost my work keys and had everyone running all over the building looking for them. We found them, hanging in the last lock I had used. They now all think I'm a nut. FML

#13256903
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6898) - you deserved it (22412)

On 09/29/2010 at 10:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my mother in-law's flight home is canceled, and that she's staying three more days. FML

#14364693
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31850) - you deserved it (3494)

On 12/28/2010 at 1:21am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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