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Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML

#346
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35001) - you deserved it (8525)

On 11/20/2008 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Maxime - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was doing a Power Point presentation to the management committee. Outlook Express was still open, and right in the middle of the presentation, a window popped up notifying me of a new message. "Subject: our reply to your application for the post of Marketing Manager". FML

#403
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16780) - you deserved it (7077)

On 11/28/2008 at 12:35am - work - by Buzz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I opened my laptop in the train to watch a good film I had downloaded. Of course, it was a fake and the whole carriage was allowed to watch and hear five seconds of butt licking. FML

#499
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16381) - you deserved it (9785)

On 12/12/2008 at 1:05am - misc - by Jumanji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I couldn't take home the free weights I'd planned on buying to start bodybuilding 'cos I couldn't lift the box, which was too heavy for me. FML

#715
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17270) - you deserved it (4535)

On 01/06/2009 at 3:28am - misc - by Fred - Sent from mobile version

Today, I saw a friend in the street but he didn't see me, so as a joke I decided to ring him. He took his mobile out of his pocket, sighed and didn't pick up. FML

#1016
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30496) - you deserved it (2755)

On 01/12/2009 at 9:47pm - misc - by patty - Sent from mobile version

Today, like every other day, I turn up at work at the security guard's gate to show my ID badge. Except that my brother had stuck a huge "FBI" sticker on it. My co-workers now all call me Mulder. FML

#1020
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14548) - you deserved it (2481)

On 01/13/2009 at 4:47am - work - by MAC - Sent from mobile version

Today, the guy I've secretly been in love with for years told me how hot my brother is. FML

#1465
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24219) - you deserved it (2260)

On 01/17/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by Shantoya - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I posted a question on a forum asking if my week old nipple piercing would get hooked on anything easily. People assured me that it would be fine. An hour later I had to climb over a wall to get something and in lowering myself down I forgot about it and dragged my nipple along the wall. FML

#1510
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6396) - you deserved it (23259)

On 01/17/2009 at 8:48pm - misc - by jdot747 - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it didn't flush. FML

#1663
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17639) - you deserved it (2815)

On 01/18/2009 at 8:01pm - misc - by frankie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to sit here for 8 hours copying and pasting thousands of product codes on a frigging spreadsheet. My job title is not data entry, I'm a graphic designer. FML

#1791
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17462) - you deserved it (2254)

On 01/19/2009 at 8:23pm - work - by Lincoln - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I told my mom I want to get liposuction. She said "Whats the point? Its not like you can get lipo on your face!". FML

#2174
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19427) - you deserved it (3428)

On 01/22/2009 at 10:22am - health - by radiant - United States (Michigan)

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

#2412
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25137) - you deserved it (7007)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:50am - money - by waitingformyfoodstamps - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, one of the kids I was babysitting tried to hard boil eggs using the microwave. You cannot hard boil eggs using the microwave. It makes a mess. This we have learned. FML

#2695
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7604) - you deserved it (17983)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by Danana - Canada (British Columbia)



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