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Today, my daughter posted a beautiful, touching status on my Facebook wall for Mother's Day. It wasn't so touching that she'd just copied and pasted the one I wrote for her grandmother and sent it back to me, unedited. FML

#20658557
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44554) - you deserved it (3988)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:21pm - love - by mothers (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML

#20726806
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48830) - you deserved it (6180)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:41am - work - by Shitty Boss Shitty Job - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

#20807935
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42718) - you deserved it (3139)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo (man) - United States

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

#20785565
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47294) - you deserved it (3157)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML

#20867651
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36505) - you deserved it (2860)

On 09/04/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by swana99 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my last day before I get my colonoscopy. I've been on a strict chicken broth and jello diet in preparation. My dad thought it would be hilarious to drag me out to one of the best restaurants in town just so I could watch everyone else eat their delicious meals. FML

#20849387
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43727) - you deserved it (2861)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Cavite)

Today, the person I've been trying so hard to get with wrote me a beautiful poem that almost everyone at my school saw and liked. It was about how we'd never be together. FML

#20904440
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45310) - you deserved it (3929)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

#20904281
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38315) - you deserved it (6355)

On 10/02/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by fed up/turned off - United States (California)

Today, my trusty old car decided that it no longer needed its back passenger window-pane, and that in fact the window would look a lot better smashed to pieces by the roadside. FML

#20957404
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31413) - you deserved it (2941)

On 11/14/2013 at 10:17am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland

Today, I taught a college course with a group of 30 adults. I was educating them on leadership and gave a 25 minute lecture, with examples like Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King, and how they changed the world. Then I opened the forum to see who inspired them. The response? Donald Trump. FML

#20987886
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32831) - you deserved it (4353)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:32pm - misc - by Disappointed Teacher (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at my therapy appointment, I was spilling my guts to my therapist. When I'd finished, to get rid of the awkward silence, I asked, "I'm not crazy, right?" His response was, "That's bit of a loaded question." FML

#21066990
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34610) - you deserved it (5291)

On 02/20/2014 at 9:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my driver's-side door was so frozen that the locking mechanism wouldn't move. My passenger-side door's lock worked, but the door itself wouldn't budge. The door handle on the other hand, budged quite well. It budged right off its hinges. FML

#21077667
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35270) - you deserved it (3509)

On 03/04/2014 at 7:25am - misc - by Staying Home Today (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

#21089044
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38251) - you deserved it (6163)

On 03/17/2014 at 2:18pm - misc - by NotInTheRightPlace (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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