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Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my girlfriend. I told her that I loved her. She asked me how much wind-shield wiper blades cost. FML

#7296803
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19844) - you deserved it (2986)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Upbrakie - United States

Today, I was running late for work and realized I forgot to pay a bill. I turned on my computer to pay the bill and brushed my teeth while it set up. I had a mouth full of mouthwash and decided to pay the bill before I spit. Then, I sneezed mouthwash all over my laptop keyboard and screen. FML

#8706318
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7466) - you deserved it (24547)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by atleastmybreathisfresh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

#7835541
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28531) - you deserved it (3123)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:11am - money - by olyswimmer (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. I leaned down to get something out of my bag and hit my head on some protruding concrete. I said I was fine. Then blood came running down my face. FML

#8525883
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21417) - you deserved it (2398)

On 02/21/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by erin1985 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my Dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

#14998029
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46129) - you deserved it (3684)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

#13188457
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26079) - you deserved it (2472)

On 09/24/2010 at 10:35pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had the day off from work. I did all the chores hoping to free up time to spend with my husband tonight. When he came home, he looked around and decided that since there was no need for him to stick around and help clean, he'd head to the bar to watch the game with the guys. FML

#14666590
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25515) - you deserved it (3436)

On 01/21/2011 at 9:18pm - misc - by marriageblows - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I got in an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

#13153251
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25101) - you deserved it (3847)

On 09/22/2010 at 4:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mom told me that she doesn't want me to help any of my friends get a job at the restaurant I work at. Apparently, she thinks that they would do a better job than me and get me fired. FML

#9181946
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23036) - you deserved it (3856)

On 03/18/2010 at 7:15am - work - by son (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I gave my boss the paperwork to approve my commissions for the month. She wouldn't sign it, saying, "Maybe I'm crazy, but I feel that I've signed this before." She hasn't. I have no commission, and my boss is crazy. FML

#13170649
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25701) - you deserved it (2123)

On 09/23/2010 at 3:02pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

#10675411
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22368) - you deserved it (11388)

On 05/21/2010 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at my new job, I took some food out to a customer. Walking away, I heard a lady mumble, "Oh my God, you could never pay me enough to wear that." FML

#14197069
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21381) - you deserved it (3163)

On 12/13/2010 at 11:13pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I parked my car to go inside to grab my wallet than I'd forgotten. In the short time it took me to do that, someone broke two of my car's windows. FML

#9018628
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19376) - you deserved it (2041)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:10am - misc - by lance - Canada (Ontario)



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