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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML

#20928153
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35297) - you deserved it (3576)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by the_lameo_geek (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my mother was talking about a holiday she went on this time last year. She turned to me to say, "You would've loved it, it's a shame you couldn't come". I was there. It was just the two of us on holiday together. FML

#20938197
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37901) - you deserved it (2412)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Liv (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I found out that my roommate secretly edited a paper I wrote and recently turned in, so that it repeatedly refers to the famed author "Kneel Gayman." I'm positive that's not how it's spelled. FML

#20958782
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32815) - you deserved it (2910)

On 11/15/2013 at 3:30pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized my family is more excited to see my girlfriend than they are to see me. FML

#21005277
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32403) - you deserved it (3824)

On 12/25/2013 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, nothing said Christmas quite like my dad taking 18 shots of vodka, falling on the Christmas tree while holding our 3-year-old cousin and denying it ever happened when he woke up later. FML

#21005822
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36117) - you deserved it (2702)

On 12/26/2013 at 1:48am - misc - by thanks_world - United States (Washington)

Today, while visiting my grandparents, my grandpa decided to explain to me the real reason that the old sofa I was sitting on had always been so discolored. He says they were bleach stains left while cleaning up the mess made during my father's conception. FML

#21015718
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38242) - you deserved it (3408)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:36pm - misc - by estranger (woman) - United States

Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML

#21053635
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37368) - you deserved it (4242)

On 02/07/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by fuckmyplums (man) - Austria (Salzburg)

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's mom. She was driving us to a theme park that was about 2 hours away. She asked for the address to put into the GPS, so I gave it to her. It turned out to be a farm, an hour away from the park. So much for good first impressions. FML

#21080378
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34875) - you deserved it (8148)

On 03/07/2014 at 8:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML

#21133376
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42924) - you deserved it (3151)

On 05/07/2014 at 4:57pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - India (Jammu and Kashmir)

Today, I got called "un-American" when I said I didn't care about Kim and Kayne's wedding. FML

#21154136
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63162) - you deserved it (5570)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Yeppets - United States (Illinois)

Today, I helped an elderly woman push her grocery cart around the store, and look for her vehicle after she'd paid. After we spent ages wandering around trying to find her car, she remembered that she'd taken the bus today. FML

#21141882
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40571) - you deserved it (3983)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I found out my co-workers don't actually like me when they changed the hangout spot after accidentally inviting me. FML

#21230545
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35428) - you deserved it (3265)

On 08/05/2014 at 11:35pm - work - by ditched - United States (Ohio)

Today, I managed to not laugh as a potential high-profile Italian client with a heavy accent repeatedly pronounced "sheet metal" as "shit metal". Unfortunately, my boss and a senior colleague couldn't contain their own laughter. We lost that deal, and our jobs are now endangered. FML

#21227795
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37128) - you deserved it (4560)

On 08/02/2014 at 6:37pm - work - by Shitmetalseller (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



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  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

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