Choose the period

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, after helping run salads and bread to a table, they demanded I do something about the bug problem. I would've been more understanding if they hadn't chosen to sit outside. FML

by smokecloud_ / 07/02/2015 at 2:40am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I was finally starting to relax after a stressful and expensive move, where I had to give up half my belongings and furniture, as well as my cat. All the stress came rushing back as my new landlord told me that he's selling the building and I've got 30 days to vacate. FML

by Stevarious / 07/10/2015 at 11:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer came in to the Walmart I cashier at, trying to set me up with her daughter. This isn't the first time she's tried. As she so graciously put it, her daughter "has a thing for the wimpy nerdy types". FML

by Highroller_17 / 08/13/2015 at 12:13am / United States / Geek

Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML

by dumped / 08/23/2015 at 6:22am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, an old friend and I reconnected. Everything was going fine until he threatened to visit me at work. I didn't know he knew my place of employment, so I replied, "Do you know where I live too?" He answered, "Would you hate me if I did?" FML

by kerripjones / 07/14/2015 at 3:44pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my grandpa saw one of the paintings in the guest room at my house. "What the fuck?" he snorted, then said whoever painted it should "stick to their damn day job". I painted it. FML

by is cum a fruit or a vegetable? / 07/17/2015 at 1:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I passed my driver's test. My instructor took the learner signs off his car and let me drive back to my place. I guess he didn't bet on me crashing the car just a few blocks from the test center. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2015 at 1:34pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

by Stinky and Single / 08/06/2015 at 7:14pm / United States / Love

Today, I left my phone outside on the grass while I went inside to get a drink. I didn't expect my dad to run over it with the lawn mower. FML

by RiceCrispyTreats / 09/01/2015 at 12:46pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave blood for the first time, since I'm a universal donor. After it was done, I passed out, woke up, puked, and passed out again. The kind nurses told me I was the worst case they had seen all week. So much for doing something to help others. FML

by angelsaredicks / 09/11/2015 at 9:55am / United States (West Virginia) / Health

Today, I had my first job interview since graduating from university. The person who interviewed me informed me that not using my degree after two years practically makes it null and void. I guess instead of being a financial advisor at the company, I could always be a janitor there. FML

by OutOfWork.OutOfTime / 10/27/2015 at 9:34pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, we were all put in groups to make a presentation together. And by "together" I mean I pulled an all nighter to finish it by myself. My group criticized my work. FML

by aloneagainnaturally / 11/28/2015 at 6:35am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Work