Choose the period

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

by kat, ACT / 12/20/2009 at 9:37am / United States / Transportation

Today, I was rejected for a job I really wanted, they said I didn't have enough experience. I designed the systems they are implementing. FML

by Me / 01/05/2010 at 2:16am / France / Work

Today, the police stopped me for "driving irresponsibly" in the snowy conditions. After the 'lecture', they went to pull off in their Ford Focus Estate. Managing to go forward, they then hit a patch of ice and slid back. Instead of breaking or turning, they let it slide back into the front of my car. FML

by VictimofLaw / 01/06/2010 at 8:57pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was with my friends at Burger King. While we were eating, I placed my cellphone on the tray, not realising that I'd left it there until after I emptied my tray into the bin. When I got it out of the trash, it was covered in soggy, sticky garbage. FML

by stephiexbabexx / 01/15/2010 at 4:27pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML

by rainey / 02/03/2010 at 1:27am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I returned home from a 2-day trip. Before I left, I told my brother to move my car across the street when the street cleaner passes by. Turns out, he used all my gas and got so wasted he forgot to move my car. I got a big ticket that he said he'd pay for. He's unemployed and lives off me. FML

by yessssir / 03/08/2010 at 9:24pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, the passport office informed me I won't get my passport in time to go on holidays. However, they took the money for the passport out of my account 2 months ago, causing me to go overdrawn, and not pay my travel insurance. The same insurance I needed to get the cost of the holiday back. FML

by Clauric / 03/24/2010 at 8:11am / Ireland (Dublin) / Holidays

Today, while waiting on the platform, a blind man asked out loud for some help getting into the subway car. I helped him through the doors and into a seat. I decided to sit down as well. Twenty minutes later, I realized I was on the wrong subway line. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2010 at 1:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I wanted to go clubbing with my friends. I started drinking at home to save on the price of drinks, instead I fell asleep on my couch. FML

by constantine / 08/29/2010 at 12:47am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I helped my fiancé pack up and head to Texas for a business trip. I'm not only going to miss him, but I'll also miss my car keys that I accidentally left in his car. I drive for a living. FML

by Ohshucks! / 07/20/2010 at 3:01pm / United States / Love

Today, after weeks of thinking and playing every outcome possible in my head, I told my parents I'm gay. My dad nodded and didn't even look up from his book; my mom told me to go to the doctor if it starts to itch. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 2:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

by shopper242 / 11/22/2010 at 7:29am / France / Intimacy

Today, we were building the homecoming float, the theme is Seasons of Love. We went around the yard and put random leaves on the float. My friend's dad looked at the float and said, "You do realize that's poison ivy?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2010 at 9:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous