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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out my best friend has a massive head lice infestation. It wasn't until after I'd used her hairbrush to brush my hair that I figured it out. FML

#14018478
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25481) - you deserved it (6831)

On 11/29/2010 at 12:03am - health - by caliibbyy -

Today, I sent a text to a guy I'd met over the weekend. He'd traveled 40 miles to my town for the date, so I picked up the tab for dinner. My text simply said, "Had a nice time. Looking forward to getting together again." His reply was, "When did you get so needy?" FML

#13898275
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26455) - you deserved it (3344)

On 11/19/2010 at 10:00am - love - by needfulthing - United States

Today, I reached into my pocket and found my mom's car keys. I'm a four hour drive away, and she obviously can't come to pick them up. FML

#13606061
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21235) - you deserved it (6891)

On 10/26/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by DriveMeNot (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML

#13567448
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36467) - you deserved it (2593)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of 6 months is not actually on vacation with her cousin but is moving in with her fiancé. FML

#13530612
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32062) - you deserved it (2925)

On 10/20/2010 at 10:04pm - love - by mook05 - United States

Today, I was showing my three year-old that going down the deck steps are perfectly safe. At the top, I tripped on my shoe and fell head first down every step. I now have five stitches and a three year old who won't go anywhere near the deck. FML

#12485958
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25115) - you deserved it (7785)

On 08/12/2010 at 9:06pm - misc - by Diana (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I'm at home sick and someone is moving into the apartment above ours. Judging by the sounds and level of noise, they seem to be opening some sort of woodworking shop. FML

#19513713
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18900) - you deserved it (1625)

On 04/22/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by whirlednews - United States

Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML

#14881953
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11075) - you deserved it (38784)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:41pm - love - by Lindsay (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I spent my remaining cash on a doctor's visit, only to find out that at the age of 22, I'm getting major health problems brought on by stress. I came home to relax, only to find out my roommate can't pay his rent, and needs me to cover for him so we don't get evicted. FML

#15090648
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29926) - you deserved it (2566)

On 02/23/2011 at 1:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML

#14821107
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29148) - you deserved it (2923)

On 02/03/2011 at 12:33am - health - by Kay -

Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML

#14528961
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21060) - you deserved it (6743)

On 01/10/2011 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my birthday. I got ONE birthday greeting: from my bank, telling me they were closing my account. FML

#14785892
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31157) - you deserved it (3188)

On 01/31/2011 at 8:55am - misc - by Micawber - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was running late for school because I had a huge stomach ache. To save on time, I took a taxi. When the taxi driver hit a bump, I lost control of my bowels and shit myself. Not only do I have to wash my underwear in the sink at school now, but I had to pay the driver extra to remove the smell from his car. FML

#14731547
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28431) - you deserved it (5255)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by Username - Romania (Ilfov)



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