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Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML

#14296001
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27438) - you deserved it (13297)

On 12/22/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my sister was on television. It would have been great if she weren't being handcuffed for burglary. FML

#12090028
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36142) - you deserved it (3164)

On 07/24/2010 at 7:21pm - love - by ghostyyy - Sent from mobile version

Today, after doing a graveyard shift at work, I took the bus home. I fell asleep on the way and woke up 25 miles away from my bus stop. I took another bus heading back and couldn't stay awake. I then woke up where I started from. FML

#10707019
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32392) - you deserved it (13577)

On 05/23/2010 at 3:29am - work - by Around - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to clear up some storm damage. I carefully cut a tree that was threatening to fall on my house. It fell on my neighbor's house instead. He's taking me to court for damages. FML

#12365331
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16323) - you deserved it (35139)

On 08/07/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Zinfandel (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

#13764979
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28336) - you deserved it (4010)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:34pm - health - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I decided to go for a run to try and work on getting in shape. Nine steps in, I slipped in some slimy moss, almost broke my hip on the pavement and gashed open my elbow. I'll be surprised if I can walk straight in the morning. FML

#13154158
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24516) - you deserved it (3837)

On 09/22/2010 at 8:11am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Japan

Today, my friends and I finished a 2 day, 40km bush walk. We parked a car at the finish of the track and drove another car to the start, so we could drive back and pick it up when we finished. At the end of the trek, I realised I had left the keys for the second car in the first car. FML

#10881401
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12374) - you deserved it (34346)

On 05/31/2010 at 7:59am - misc - by frgn8r (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I discovered my former boss from the job I quit 3 months is now my boss at my new job. He was the reason I quit my old job. FML

#11602306
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47018) - you deserved it (3212)

On 07/02/2010 at 12:21am - work - by lmao4eva93 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took a cough drop to soothe my sore throat, only to choke, gag, and spend the next ten minutes at the point of vomiting because the bitter lozenge got stuck in my windpipe. FML

#13251603
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23560) - you deserved it (3556)

On 09/29/2010 at 5:29pm - health - by bitter cherry - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over to visit. Being nice, I let him walk down the stairs first, following after him. I still managed to reach the bottom before he did; after taking one step, I lost my footing and fell all the way down, scraping the skin off my arms and legs, and bruising my butt. FML

#14011606
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22459) - you deserved it (4577)

On 11/28/2010 at 12:17pm - misc - by brelni - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally felt well enough to take an actual shower after having surgery on my back. It took five minutes to stand up, ten minutes to get to the shower, and another ten minutes to get in. The pilot light went out in less than five minutes. FML

#14732721
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25974) - you deserved it (2266)

On 01/27/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by brrrr that's cold! - United States (Colorado)

Today, I thought it would be funny to moon people out of my friend's car window. I rolled down the window and mooned a random couple. You should have seen the looks on their faces when I had to get out of the car and pick up my phone and wallet, which were in my back pocket. FML

#12483686
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5720) - you deserved it (54932)

On 08/12/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by fullmoonfml (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I returned from vacation. Because of rain, I spent 3 days sitting in a hotel room, watching a TV with bad reception. I'm now less relaxed that if I'd have just stayed home, because that wouldn't have cost me $500, and my TV has more than 15 channels. So much for my first vacation in 5 years. FML

#13584749
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26464) - you deserved it (5069)

On 10/25/2010 at 12:22am - misc - by not_relaxed (man) - United States (California)



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