Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML

#14409585
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31588) - you deserved it (4096)

On 12/31/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

#14767473
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24053) - you deserved it (7885)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML

#14484752
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26997) - you deserved it (2443)

On 01/06/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I was driving back from school 100 miles away from my home with my fiancé and dog. While stopping for gas, we accidentally left our car keys and cell phones in the car. The dog sat on one of the keys and engaged the locks. We were locked out of the car until the tow truck arrived. FML

#14474591
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13217) - you deserved it (19601)

On 01/05/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML

#15202722
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34707) - you deserved it (5214)

On 03/05/2011 at 12:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML

#14963197
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25533) - you deserved it (3098)

On 02/13/2011 at 8:18pm - misc - by alice (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML

#14705943
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21990) - you deserved it (3069)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Ulsan-gwangyoksi)

Today, I got stuck in a small elevator. It started to violently judder up and down after I pressed the 'Help' buzzer. The man on the intercom wouldn't stop laughing at how my voice was jumpy from the juddering movements before he called for help. FML

#15019943
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23948) - you deserved it (2507)

On 02/17/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by stuckinalift (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my friend and I taught a very involved healthy nutrition program to underprivileged youths at a local center. We even made them a healthy snack at the end of the program. Within minutes of the program being over, we catch some of our fellow volunteers feeding the kids Oreos. FML

#15182858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23346) - you deserved it (4763)

On 03/03/2011 at 1:58am - work - by Pickle (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was cutting a little boy's hair at the hairdressers where I work. While cutting his bangs, I noticed his forehead was surprisingly warm. When I asked him if he felt OK, he threw up all over my gown. I think he had some broccoli today. FML

#15830049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36575) - you deserved it (2898)

On 04/18/2011 at 12:46am - kids - by stickyhair (woman) - United States

Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML

#16473954
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30841) - you deserved it (3621)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:01pm - love - by nikto (man) -

Today, while at my boxing gym, an old man came inside and did the oddest drunk dance in order to serenade me. I'm a fighter and fine with taking punches to the face, but froze in terror at the sight of this. FML

#17545368
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22012) - you deserved it (3009)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:44am - misc - by No Action Fighter - United States (California)

Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML

#19787882
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20821) - you deserved it (2386)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:40pm - misc - by eeeee (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: