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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at the supermarket everybody was staring at me. After ten minutes, I realized that my umbrella was still open. FML

#708
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13952) - you deserved it (15439)

On 01/05/2009 at 5:45am - misc - by didi - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML

#997
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29731) - you deserved it (7873)

On 01/12/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by LiLGeek - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that Paolo has a big penis, that he's good in bed and that the hotel sheets still remember it all. Mum, the walls won't get any thicker just 'cause you're on the telephone. FML

#1813
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22176) - you deserved it (1650)

On 01/20/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

#1913
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23244) - you deserved it (3804)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:00pm - love - by pikachu - United States (Virginia)

Today, me and my family watched the video of my birth. In the video, when my mother sees me for the first time, she says "God he's ugly!" FML

#1975
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27649) - you deserved it (1993)

On 01/21/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by mat - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend that I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlock our flat to see that the place was a mess. She had thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML

#2411
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25164) - you deserved it (1874)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:41am - love - by NJ - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was riding in a carpool when we passed a church that has a shady reputation. I said "man, all those people are being brainwashed, it's a cult". The lady sitting in the back seat behind me says "I'm a member of that church". OOPS. Silence. FML

#3651
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7705) - you deserved it (22744)

On 01/30/2009 at 9:07am - misc - by pop_rox - United States (Georgia)

Today, I am staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML

#4977
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37207) - you deserved it (2121)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was okay. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML

#7761
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8582) - you deserved it (28780)

On 02/04/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by suicide (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML

#6627
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42547) - you deserved it (1686)

On 02/03/2009 at 4:46pm - money - by fire0fisis - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I saw my male boss holding a purse. Just to be a smart ass, I made fun of him as if the purse was his. It was his. FML

#45766
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9692) - you deserved it (37747)

On 02/15/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by gregoyles (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML

#53082
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9907) - you deserved it (69051)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML

#75712
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43080) - you deserved it (2483)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:09am - misc - by Offended (woman) - United States (New York)



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