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Today, I realized the annoying squealing I hear every night isn't my guinea pig. Apparently my brothers girlfriend makes that sound when they have sex. FML

#62926
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44834) - you deserved it (2977)

On 02/17/2009 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by KTK (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the men clearing the walkway outside my dorm room, with a snowblower didn't realize that my window was open. I looked over from my computer to see snow shooting in, covering my clock, closet, and radio. And now it's melting. FML

#183684
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37106) - you deserved it (15383)

On 03/02/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by gr8terevil (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML

#262381
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14606) - you deserved it (66132)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:30pm - misc - by Lichelle (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I seemingly misplaced my cell phone but didn't have time to look for it before work. This evening, my cell phone company calls me to tell me I have six hundred dollars worth of calls to El Salvador that I have to pay for. My cell phone was not misplaced, it was stolen. FML

#2384944
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40154) - you deserved it (3610)

On 05/28/2009 at 8:13pm - money - by xxteenhearts (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend was upset, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her how much I love her and how beautiful she is. After a minute, her face started to light up. I thought it had worked until I realized that she was being cheered up by the friends she was talking to online. FML

#3159457
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39381) - you deserved it (3353)

On 06/23/2009 at 10:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to the gym that I just became a member of, making an extra effort to look good because I've heard there are hot guys there. The lady at the front desk said they need to take my picture, then took a second look and said, "Don't worry hun, we'll take it when you're more prepared." FML

#948572
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51288) - you deserved it (5517)

On 04/13/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by ididlookgood (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a few old co-workers at the bar. They recognized me and started calling me by the nickname they had for me that I was unaware of. It appears I was known as "butch megan" by the entire office for 2 years. FML

#2903036
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36682) - you deserved it (3628)

On 06/15/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by brutality (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML

#1970945
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31325) - you deserved it (16486)

On 05/15/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in a public bathroom, and a little boy walks in and he has an accident. He asked if I could help him clean it up. So I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and I slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML

#1968921
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46660) - you deserved it (6270)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:22pm - kids - by Dinho (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the girl I love told me she was sick of guys. I replied that I happened to be a guy. She laughed and said "No, I mean the boyfriend type!" FML

#101898
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46544) - you deserved it (4206)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:16am - love - by Marleck (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

#69443
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45256) - you deserved it (6386)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm - health - by Kristina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML

#96443
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45447) - you deserved it (11937)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by goddamitme (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came home to tell my parents about my new nose job I got about a month ago. My mom always told me I should get one, so I didn't tell her right away to see if she would notice. I was home for about 20 minutes before she asked me, "so when are you getting that nose job?" FML

#134540
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40882) - you deserved it (6074)

On 02/25/2009 at 4:31pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)



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