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Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML

#1767727
693 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18444) - you deserved it (257910)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:43am - work - by pizzagurl (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

#3232657
685 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90309) - you deserved it (20625)

On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
660 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31643) - you deserved it (295095)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
683 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32535) - you deserved it (52426)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML

Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing xbox. FML

#8659721
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52624) - you deserved it (3778)

On 02/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML

#1834550
641 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96683) - you deserved it (8789)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Hallllo (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML

#11892706
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20403) - you deserved it (62306)

On 07/15/2010 at 2:53am - love - by BambooLove (woman) - United States

Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML

#2597926
629 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11985) - you deserved it (144316)

On 06/04/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by soljaboy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
611 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23759) - you deserved it (255130)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML

#5470
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46499) - you deserved it (378337)

On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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