Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42442) - you deserved it (5645)
On 04/17/2011 at 10:29am - health - by bumpyroad - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (361143) - you deserved it (67418)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7260) - you deserved it (114263)
On 06/04/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by soljaboy (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I witnessed my girlfriend eat the dead skin from the soles of her feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59164) - you deserved it (6162)
On 06/27/2011 at 10:56am - intimacy - by footfood (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21496) - you deserved it (3874)
On 08/22/2011 at 10:57am - animals - by rearwindow - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20811) - you deserved it (357676)
On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17934) - you deserved it (196297)
On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17913) - you deserved it (38259)
On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my husband and I were talking about names for our expectant child. I told him since I named our daughter he could name our son. He's decided on a name from 'God of War'. My son is going to be named after a make-believe cartoon character - Kratos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44582) - you deserved it (23338)
On 04/21/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37832) - you deserved it (10137)
On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15014) - you deserved it (191721)
On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98147) - you deserved it (23535)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82467) - you deserved it (6582)
On 05/11/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Hallllo (man) - United States (Ohio)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
