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Today, while at work, I went to unlock the washroom for a customer. Normally we don't allow customers to use the staff washrooms, so I was as surprised as the guy I found sitting on the toilet when I opened the door. FML

#21098949
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32916) - you deserved it (3722)

On 03/28/2014 at 11:02pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML

#21133488
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32563) - you deserved it (5075)

On 05/07/2014 at 7:06pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML

#21122879
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32652) - you deserved it (12788)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML

#21130777
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39912) - you deserved it (5420)

On 05/04/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a nice couple came in to buy a car. I offered to drive it out from the line of cars for them, since it was a tight squeeze. They then watched as I managed to back it straight into another car, causing a large amount of damage to both. FML

#21143130
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35184) - you deserved it (19923)

On 05/17/2014 at 5:34pm - work - by cargaljen - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had a job interview. It went really well until I couldn't figure out how to open the slide door to get out of the room. FML

#21177054
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38982) - you deserved it (5687)

On 06/16/2014 at 6:49pm - work - by UnhappilyUnemployed (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at my grandparent's funeral, we were waiting for the pastor. He was fashionably late because he couldn't find his sunglasses and had gone to buy new ones. FML

#21194487
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39422) - you deserved it (2950)

On 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by too cool (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up loudly screaming from a "night" terror. I say "night"; I was actually at my desk at work, in the middle of the day, surrounded by dozens of co-workers in their cubicles. FML

#21193942
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35400) - you deserved it (9929)

On 06/30/2014 at 3:51pm - work - by Whoopsie (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss sent me some application forms to check over. After I spell-checked them and returned them, I found out they're going to be used to hire someone to replace me. FML

#21190114
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43805) - you deserved it (3835)

On 06/27/2014 at 6:57am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, at work in a library, I found a dirty diaper stuffed under one of the public use computer desks. Not only was it leaking, but it had been run over several times by a rolling office chair. I had to clean it up. FML

#21231175
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37577) - you deserved it (2492)

On 08/06/2014 at 7:33pm - work - by TzarErik (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend's mother still calls his ex-girlfriend her "future daughter-in-law". FML

#21218491
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38159) - you deserved it (2750)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:57pm - misc - by Rosey (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I'm at that age where sitting down carries a 50/50 chance of turning my balls into scrambled eggs, a fact confirmed yet again today. Third time this week. I think it's time to switch to briefs. FML

#21259403
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26231) - you deserved it (3766)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:20pm - health - by I need a new ballsack. (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, after moving to a new neighbourhood, I went to meet my new neighbour. When she opened the door, all she said was, "Oh not you again!", and shut the door in my face. I have no memory of her. FML



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