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Today, I saw a few old co-workers at the bar. They recognized me and started calling me by the nickname they had for me that I was unaware of. It appears I was known as "butch megan" by the entire office for 2 years. FML

#2903036
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36606) - you deserved it (3625)

On 06/15/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by brutality (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML

#1970945
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31255) - you deserved it (16469)

On 05/15/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in a public bathroom, and a little boy walks in and he has an accident. He asked if I could help him clean it up. So I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and I slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML

#1968921
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45563) - you deserved it (6146)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:22pm - kids - by Dinho (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

#6481
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46051) - you deserved it (3479)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by BRELLA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was complaining to my mom about how my sister looked like a barbie doll next to me. I was saying how she was so tan and her hair looked awesome next to mine. She paused for a while and then said "Well you're pretty on the inside." FML

#55287
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31782) - you deserved it (7844)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by Dasani (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the girl I love told me she was sick of guys. I replied that I happened to be a guy. She laughed and said "No, I mean the boyfriend type!" FML

#101898
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46454) - you deserved it (4198)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:16am - love - by Marleck (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

#69443
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44177) - you deserved it (6261)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm - health - by Kristina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML

#96443
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45365) - you deserved it (11925)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by goddamitme (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came home to tell my parents about my new nose job I got about a month ago. My mom always told me I should get one, so I didn't tell her right away to see if she would notice. I was home for about 20 minutes before she asked me, "so when are you getting that nose job?" FML

#134540
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40778) - you deserved it (6065)

On 02/25/2009 at 4:31pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on the best date I've been on in years. Later on, over drinks we get talking and I explain how I came out to my friends and family. When I ask him how he came out, he replies that he isn't gay, and oh, did I think this was a date? FML

#141984
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57620) - you deserved it (11722)

On 02/26/2009 at 9:56am - love - by thetheatreguy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML

#183529
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53800) - you deserved it (6774)

On 03/02/2009 at 1:52pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, My family and I were in New Orleans. We passed by all of the naughty peep shows with posters of naked women everywhere on the way to dinner. At the restaurant, my dad asks me if that was the first pair of boobs I have seen. My mom butted in saying, "Nah, remember all that porn we found?" FML

#786946
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71211) - you deserved it (25330)

On 04/03/2009 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. I automatically dove my hand in and ran out of the stall with it. As I dried it, some girls were laughing. I assumed that they were laughing because my phone fell in the toilet. Then I noticed my pants were still down. FML

#790752
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18878) - you deserved it (38506)

On 04/03/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by tmac (woman) - United States



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