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Today, it was my birthday. I got ONE birthday greeting: from my bank, telling me they were closing my account. FML

#14785892
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30590) - you deserved it (3148)

On 01/31/2011 at 8:55am - misc - by Micawber - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, the snowblower found my lost phone. FML

#14952947
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25351) - you deserved it (4583)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by cs - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mom asked if I was seeing anyone. I launched into a description of my girlfriend, only for her to interrupt, saying that she meant a therapist, and the fact that I'd just made up a relationship was further proof that I needed one. I really do have a girlfriend. FML

#16353801
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39177) - you deserved it (3407)

On 05/26/2011 at 3:53am - love - by lovingpsychosis - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML

#18674490
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10678) - you deserved it (29111)

On 01/01/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by msnewyearseve - United States (New York)

Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriends house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML

#18101485
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14621) - you deserved it (19883)

On 10/29/2011 at 3:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML

#16019249
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26714) - you deserved it (3835)

On 05/02/2011 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was introducing my American cousin to the peaceful English village I live in. Just as I was reassuring her that the people were very friendly and welcoming, a car drove past and pelted us with eggs. FML

#17811386
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23149) - you deserved it (2763)

On 09/23/2011 at 4:31am - misc - by egghead - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to get my ass in shape and went to the gym. I got motion-sickness on the elliptical. FML

#18778182
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20291) - you deserved it (5131)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:31pm - health - by tbw (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

#18559487
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6841) - you deserved it (33024)

On 12/20/2011 at 3:14am - misc - by phansmootchie (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a customer handed me the ankle-length hosiery she had just used to try on some shoes, and as I sat there feeling the warm dampness of them in the palm of my hand, she said "You should throw those away, I have a toe fungus." FML

#17916744
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28696) - you deserved it (2579)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned it's best not to piss off your mom when she's cutting your hair. FML

#17275625
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11612) - you deserved it (38669)

On 07/27/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by :( - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

#19029338
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20351) - you deserved it (7894)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by pauper (man) -

Today, I had food poisoning. When I was finally able to drag myself to the kitchen for some Gatorade, I got stung by a wasp. FML

#19575961
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24298) - you deserved it (2035)

On 05/05/2012 at 3:19am - health - by markzar - United States (Wisconsin)



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