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Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML

#21006441
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37802) - you deserved it (3877)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by NNTA (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, while staying at my brother's place for the Christmas holidays, I had to leave because he threatened to "take me outside". Apparently he doesn't like being corrected on whether a certain car has a long wheel base version, so I guess the family Christmas is over. FML

#21005745
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28136) - you deserved it (3271)

On 12/26/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by detour165 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tried proving to my best friend that I wasn't a lesbian by telling her I once liked her brother. She was mad because I never told her and now she's calling him. FML

#21013942
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36894) - you deserved it (5739)

On 01/02/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, it was the first dress rehearsal at a community theater. I'm playing a grandma to a bunch of little kids, and the guy who is playing the grandpa wears a fat suit. I put on my costume and one of the kids comes up to me and says, "Are you wearing a fat suit too?" and pokes my stomach. FML

#21059569
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38011) - you deserved it (6272)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by EmmaleeSupertramp (woman) - United States

Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML

#21055534
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32787) - you deserved it (3992)

On 02/09/2014 at 4:59pm - love - by blushingbride - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was told I pull the "whole grunge look" off quite well. I don't dress "grunge", nor was that my intention. FML

#21071401
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30172) - you deserved it (4852)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59pm - misc - by ashleylynn17 (woman) -

Today, my coworkers continued their new favorite game: staring at me in total unnerving silence. I can't help but be reminded of serial killers. FML

#21103796
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31414) - you deserved it (2957)

On 04/03/2014 at 4:53pm - work - by Welshite - United States

Today, after getting home from the supermarket, I went to unlock the door so my dad could carry the groceries in. No matter how hard or how many different ways I tried, the lock wouldn't shift. My dad eventually grabbed the keys, twisted once, and after the door unlocked, called me an idiot. FML

#21132298
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31274) - you deserved it (9424)

On 05/06/2014 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

#21182176
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40704) - you deserved it (3690)

On 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Alex (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML

#61
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18812) - you deserved it (54390)

On 10/26/2008 at 12:04pm - work - by Shameonme - Morocco

Today, they finally took my braces off. 7 hours later I fell off my bike and chipped my tooth. FML

#138
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49457) - you deserved it (5582)

On 10/29/2008 at 6:09am - health - by Noname - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I remember the first night I spent with my first English boyfriend. I'm French, and when we woke up, I said in my most sexy voice "Oh, I'm so dirty!" It's only when he left that I finally understood the look on his face; I wanted to have a glass of water. I was thirsty, not dirty. FML

#286
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28542) - you deserved it (6980)

On 11/12/2008 at 3:10am - intimacy - by aur - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML

#292
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34810) - you deserved it (1864)

On 11/12/2008 at 10:57pm - work - by 911 - Sent from mobile version



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