Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

#20759724
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42831) - you deserved it (4343)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by dry spell (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway in the wind, it's really just having an orgasm. Not only did she believe me, she's been smugly informing everyone we know. She's 26. I seem to be friends with an absolute idiot. FML

#20795779
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39762) - you deserved it (5531)

On 07/21/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by what have i done with my life (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML

#20839682
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42841) - you deserved it (4341)

On 08/16/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML

#20815357
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43491) - you deserved it (4030)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by hangman (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out that while having a GPS tracker in your car is helpful for tracking down car thieves, it's also helpful to your psycho ex, who can use it to track you down. FML

#20846264
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40165) - you deserved it (3279)

On 08/20/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by nobieb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

#20876113
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44988) - you deserved it (2781)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:30pm - work - by the next james herriot (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my smartphone addiction reached a new level of pathetic when I checked my weather app to see if it was cloudy outside. There was a window right behind me. FML

#20887801
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16034) - you deserved it (36447)

On 09/19/2013 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

#20887394
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34052) - you deserved it (3061)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:35am - work - by some people... - United States

Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with his dad, who's fighting with his brother-in-law, who's fighting with his wife. The only ones not fighting are my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, who're getting along great on a squeaky mattress in the room next to mine. FML

#20975413
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47338) - you deserved it (3729)

On 11/30/2013 at 12:58am - intimacy - by Thanksalot (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, playing soccer, I jumped up to make a header and clear the ball away from our goal. I got the ball but some guy kicked me in the face. I was taken off. All the parents were horrified, saying how badly my nose must have broken. Turns out my nose was fine. That's just how my nose looks. FML

#20979759
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37006) - you deserved it (2741)

On 12/03/2013 at 9:03pm - health - by supras (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

#21000124
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40182) - you deserved it (3228)

On 12/21/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by FML (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I ran for the first time in ages when I saw my bus coming. My loose shoe went flying into a shop doorway, and I tripped into the gutter. FML

#21009861
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32879) - you deserved it (6013)

On 12/29/2013 at 10:52pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my sister had me kicked out of her wedding reception for, in the words of her new husband, "harshing the buzz." FML

#21028633
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36569) - you deserved it (5046)

On 01/15/2014 at 10:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: