Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML

#5122980
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35198) - you deserved it (3981)

On 09/08/2009 at 5:07am - work - by h0308 (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as 'some weirdo had walked into her house.' I am that weirdo, she wasn't joking. FML

#5600250
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31580) - you deserved it (2352)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:46am - misc - by forgotten (man) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I found out the reason my clothes have been smelling a little funny isn't because I sweat heavily, it's because of the dead rat in the back of my dryer. FML

#5541455
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38217) - you deserved it (4786)

On 09/29/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I slipped walking down the stairs. My mom thought I sprained my right ankle. In her haste to get me to the doctor, she grabbed me and accidentally tripped me. I broke my left ankle. The right one was fine. FML

#4886431
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37009) - you deserved it (2190)

On 08/28/2009 at 4:59pm - health - by dannyfanny (man) - United States (California)

Today, I parked my truck next to a rather large SUV at school, went to class for 8 hours straight, came back and found my passenger side door crumpled from where they had backed out and hit it. They left a note on my window that said, "Sorry about your truck, but I don't have insurance." FML

#5393176
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38605) - you deserved it (2280)

On 09/21/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was in a work meeting because our clientele is unhappy with our service. I was in there because I don't correct our customers when they get my name wrong. My name is Blane, but "Blair", "Blake", "Lane", and "Glenn" got rave reviews. No one picked up on this. I hate my job. FML

#5840446
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23614) - you deserved it (3662)

On 10/15/2009 at 8:33am - work - by Blanerd (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend called saying she was gathering all her girlfriends for a girl's night out. I was thrilled with the idea and started to think of something to wear. She then asked if I would mind watching her son. FML

#5368746
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38990) - you deserved it (2467)

On 09/20/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Finesse7791 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was in line at the store behind a lady and her young daughter. Trying to be polite I smiled at the little girl. She burst into tears asking her mommy 'what is wrong with that ladies teeth'. Apparently braces on a 25 year old is not 'kid friendly'. FML

#6221644
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25691) - you deserved it (2785)

On 11/08/2009 at 11:37pm - kids - by itsjustmyluck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was out to dinner with a friend. When the bill came with a customer satisfaction survey, I put honestly that the "server friendliness" was "below average." Ten minutes later, I had to return to the restaurant to beg the waitress for my keys, which I had left on the table. FML

#3856543
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31891) - you deserved it (20376)

On 07/18/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by lemonadedisguise (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while lifeguarding, I received six prank phone calls on the official pool phone. When it rang again, I picked it up, told them to go fuck themselves, hung up, and then left the phone off the hook. A second later, my cellphone rang. It was my boss, telling me to get a sense of humor. FML

#5007844
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36481) - you deserved it (7226)

On 09/02/2009 at 9:18pm - work - by lifeguardfuckup (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my train was canceled so my ticket expired by the time another train arrived. I was fined $90 by ticket inspectors 'cause my claim that the early train didn't run was "unsubstantiated". Leaving the train I was pushed by the crowd, fell, lost a shoe and had to walk home with one bare foot. FML

#5616852
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35303) - you deserved it (2272)

On 10/03/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by ColdFoot (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I'm having my housewarming party and had prepared food, drink and games for all the 19 confirmed guests on Facebook. I waited till 11 but nobody showed up. I checked Facebook again and realized I had accidentally put tomorrow as the party date. I have to work the whole day tomorrow. FML

#4562871
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10865) - you deserved it (46453)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by revalc (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML

#5309799
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30007) - you deserved it (6767)

On 09/17/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by Masey (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: