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Today, I was preparing for a huge party I've been looking forward to for months. I did all the usual things a girl should do, put on a facemask, painted my nails, exfoliated... I was feeling confident until I peeled off the facemask. I guess when it said "vibrant" what it meant was bright red. FML

by ouch / 12/11/2009 at 2:50am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Health

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

by Davios / 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I finished moving cross-country and signed a 13 month lease to be closer to my on-again / off-again boyfriend of the past five years. I showed up at his place to borrow his truck just as his "local" girlfriend was leaving. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2009 at 2:22am / United States (Nevada) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on an interview for a job that I had been wanting for months. I thought everything was going great. On my way out, my interviewer asked me to recycle something for him. I agreed. It was my resume. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2010 at 7:05pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I got a letter in the mail, my mother has applied for a reduction in her child support payments for my brother and I. She's paid $10 child support in 16 years. FML

by bluewatersify / 01/18/2010 at 9:23am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Money

Today, I had a big meeting. Half way through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-worker but I didn't understand what he meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML

by paul / 02/02/2010 at 6:25am / Work

Today, I went to a family funeral. Talking to my grandfather, trying the make chitchat, he says "You're gaining weight, aren't you?" FML

by livvlynette / 02/27/2010 at 5:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead came on the screen. One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "Have you noticed there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot what color my hair is. FML

by Mika_Ookami / 02/21/2010 at 12:54pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, after leaving work at 10 pm, I took a shortcut to the highway. After getting lost, my GPS informed me that the service was unavailable and I should try back in an hour. This occurred moments before I ran out of gas. FML

by Lost... / 03/06/2010 at 1:16am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, my deranged co-worker sent me a text message containing a picture that she just took of her uncle. It was his funeral. FML

by thanatophobia / 03/14/2010 at 8:20pm / Work

Today, I called my dad at his new wife's house to inform him I was all set to graduate from community college with my associates degree and that we needed to sit down and plan how to pay for the 4 year degree. To which he replied "all a girl needs is an associates degree". Thanks dad. FML

by Anna / 03/18/2010 at 8:20am / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, my wife, daughter, and I get to spend the next 4 hours in the ER. Why? Because we're all throwing up at the same time. At least it counts as a family activity. FML

by Username / 07/16/2010 at 12:17am / Health

Today, at work, my boss and I went upstairs to storage. We got in the elevator, I pressed the 2nd floor button, and it didn't move so I repeatedly pressed the button. It wasn't until the 5th press that I realized we were already on the 2nd floor. She thought I was an idiot. FML

by edodge / 10/14/2010 at 11:03pm / United States (Maine) / Work