Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML

#7946141
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8928) - you deserved it (18562)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Sully (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was perusing my mom's Facebook. I noticed she has an album of pictures for each member of the family, except me. The dog has an album. FML

#8790024
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23972) - you deserved it (2298)

On 03/03/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

#8409963
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18845) - you deserved it (3505)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:08pm - love - by gp28 - United States

Today, after months of job searching I got a job interview. I also later got a phone call from the manager informing me they burned down, and all current employees will be relocated or dismissed, and that my interview, scheduled for tomorrow, is postponed indefinitely. FML

#14184991
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22404) - you deserved it (1899)

On 12/12/2010 at 11:19pm - work - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML

#14190731
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31333) - you deserved it (3694)

On 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by Username - United States (Georgia)

Today, I spent ages applying for a scholarship on-line. I found out on the very last page that I do not meet the qualifications for it. FML

#10900890
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24468) - you deserved it (9924)

On 06/01/2010 at 2:05am - work - by effme (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my roommate let me know he "bumped" another car with mine. What he really meant was that I need a new rear quarter panel and the very angry BMW driver he hit has all of my information. FML

#13061135
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21661) - you deserved it (3371)

On 09/15/2010 at 12:52pm - misc - by Ah piss - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML

#13524310
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23062) - you deserved it (3452)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:14pm - misc - by gross - Australia

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML

#12966386
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24671) - you deserved it (8973)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by undoable - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was out of the house, my 6 year old brother stole my new waterproof camera, dunked it into the toilet holding onto the wrist strap, and flushed repeatedly to see if it lived up to its "waterproof promise." It didn't. FML

#14023437
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25047) - you deserved it (3256)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:02pm - misc - by fmylife. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a hummingbird somehow got into my house. I spent two and a half hours trying to get it out after finally using a blanket to catch it. I run outside to release it from my hands, and it flew back into my house. FML

#13614201
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24306) - you deserved it (5720)

On 10/27/2010 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I lost control of my vehicle while driving. The car went off the road, rolled over, and ended up being totaled. The policeman asked me if I was alright and I said I was. He seemed relieved at my answer. Then he handed me a $300 ticket for failing to maintain my lane. FML

#13727152
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17926) - you deserved it (5180)

On 11/05/2010 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend borrowed my Jane Norman dress to wear to a Halloween party. He got hammered, threw up all over it, and fell unconscious on the shower floor. FML

#13664079
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18654) - you deserved it (7002)

On 10/31/2010 at 2:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: