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Today, a co-worker and I walked out of our office at the same time. He got in his car, which was parked right out front. I asked him what I had to do to get a sweet parking spot like that. He rolled up his pant leg and show me his prosthesis. He was in the handicapped spot. FML

#579815
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17187) - you deserved it (74940)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Prometheus (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked past a building site near my house, there was a sign saying "WARNING - Beware of the scaffolding". I started laughing at the stupidity of the sign, and walked straight into a metal pole. FML

#2963436
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7928) - you deserved it (57108)

On 06/17/2009 at 9:40am - misc - by jonnyc - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I finally got my yearbook for senior year in high school. I started what everyone does, which is count how many times I appear in the yearbook. I stopped when I found a prominent photo of me, picking my nose in class. FML

#3305444
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17765) - you deserved it (48854)

On 06/28/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I rented a car that has a smart key. The proximity of the key determines if the doors will unlock. I went to a meeting and returned to the car with the trunk popped open and all my luggage gone. The rental company decided to store a spare key in the glovebox for safe keeping. FML

#4494514
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45179) - you deserved it (3137)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:42am - work - by NoKeyNoCar - United States (California)

Today, as a volunteer at the local daycare, I was with 3 and 4 year olds. They thought it would be funny to trip me and then jump on my back. I hit my elbow hard on the ground. A bunch of pre-schoolers beat me up. FML

#2670105
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43068) - you deserved it (6199)

On 06/06/2009 at 7:46pm - kids - by biotch - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I received an email from a temp agency trying to hire me. Surprisingly, it was the same job I was just laid off from after two years of great employment. They were trying to hire me at half my original salary. FML

#2792784
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53213) - you deserved it (2498)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:21am - work - by surfernerd6987 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was on a very crowded bus, standing near the back door. People had to get off at the stop, and being near the door, I had to step off the bus, allowing the people to exit. I was about to enter back into the bus, the door closed and the bus driver took off, leaving me stranded. FML

#2984203
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42206) - you deserved it (5725)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by coco (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a call from my parents that they have decided to get a divorce. My brothers and I just shelled out $5,000 each and spent months planning their 50th Anniversary party that was supposed to be next month. FML

#3507672
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55112) - you deserved it (3011)

On 07/05/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by Annabelle (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

#13539
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19600) - you deserved it (33546)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:43pm - misc - by Snow (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

#62507
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35287) - you deserved it (9067)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:56pm - work - by jessica (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my mom changing. She was trying on a thong my boyfriend bought me for Valentine's Day. It looks better on her. FML

#69080
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47839) - you deserved it (4580)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by wnrz (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a Tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no-liquids rule. They took out a bottle of Massage Oil, Lube, Vagasil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

#173589
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26879) - you deserved it (68401)

On 03/01/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Kammy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML

#370215
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53387) - you deserved it (39452)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by textraped (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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