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Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML

#636
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8875) - you deserved it (19445)

On 12/30/2008 at 1:00pm - misc - by MikeMoosey - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML

#737
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22682) - you deserved it (5135)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:25am - love - by beno - United States (Texas)

Today, I am spending new year absolutely alone. My girlfriend canceled our plans the day before so she could spend it with alcohol and strangers. Somehow, I still love her. FML

#762
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21923) - you deserved it (9418)

On 12/30/2008 at 8:36pm - love - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

#857
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20899) - you deserved it (3668)

On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML

#3161
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18377) - you deserved it (1723)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by flying solo - United States (California)

Today, I was offered a job. It only took me a year and 17 interviews to get an offer, and I have a PhD. FML

#3922
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26191) - you deserved it (2756)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:37am - work - by RogerReady - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

#4119
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23327) - you deserved it (4763)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by fuckit - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has been having an affair with another woman. He works with me and the woman also works in the same company. She is also married and is now 6 months pregnant. They are throwing a baby shower for her on Monday. FML

#11922
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32161) - you deserved it (1753)

On 02/06/2009 at 4:32pm - love - by Flabbergasted (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom asked me if I had an eating problem because I've been eating less. I only started eating less because she told me I ate too much. FML

#26986
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33398) - you deserved it (3003)

On 02/11/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by hungry - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend of four months broke up with me via text message. He spelled my name wrong. FML

#54894
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45164) - you deserved it (3482)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:01pm - love - by tacky_unrefined (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML

#158758
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20428) - you deserved it (37499)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by RosaP (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML

#210139
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58253) - you deserved it (3505)

On 03/04/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found a video camera behind a plant in my bedroom. My husband uses it to video tape himself having sex, with another woman. FML

#5429475
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33897) - you deserved it (2123)

On 09/23/2009 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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