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Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML

#5368634
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26945) - you deserved it (9406)

On 09/20/2009 at 8:03am - work - by Lazy (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML

#5716495
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12572) - you deserved it (36772)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:14am - kids - by stupidsantaclaus (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the hall from the livingroom. I overheard my mom telling someone how proud she was of her baby girl and how much she loved her. I thought she was referring to my first ever all "A" report card. Turns out my new kitten used its litter box correctly for the first time. FML

#5990004
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25555) - you deserved it (3043)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at the Polish border when I found my passport was gone. I contacted the last place I stayed at and the owner said he would handle it. I reluctantly agreed as I was being charged international rates. Apparently, "taking care of it" means telling the embassy I'm retarded. FML

#4176027
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32850) - you deserved it (5647)

On 07/31/2009 at 4:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)

Today, I fell down a set of stairs while going into my basement. With a horrible pain in my left leg, I called out to my boyfriend to help me. Apparently a commercial about grass was more important. FML

#6215205
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26153) - you deserved it (3355)

On 11/08/2009 at 5:38pm - health - by Elizabeh (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

#6034083
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26202) - you deserved it (2662)

On 10/28/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by bubblensuds1 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML

#5931045
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26110) - you deserved it (3650)

On 10/21/2009 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Busted (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I decided to surprise my wife at her softball game. I saw her distinctive motorcycle jacket through the canvas dugout wall and decided that I would feel her up from behind, to surprise her. She lent her jacket to a friend. FML

#6433707
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15718) - you deserved it (9342)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:58am - intimacy - by rider (man) - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, I woke up to find my parents singing happy birthday with lots of hugs and kisses. My birthday is next week. FML

#6733111
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26146) - you deserved it (2261)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:46am - misc - by Thomas (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML

#6378633
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8411) - you deserved it (17131)

On 11/20/2009 at 9:53am - intimacy - by WorstMedicalBill (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I decided to wear a tight, long-sleeved shirt that showed off my body. As I was trying to roll up my sleeves, I realized how tight this shirt really was. It wouldn't budge past my elbow and I tugged to hard I ended up punching myself in the eye. I now have a swollen, black and blue eye. FML

#6308851
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7386) - you deserved it (32017)

On 11/15/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by Unknown - United States

Today, I did laundry in my apartment complex's laundry room. I put my stuff in the dryer and returned to my room. The sign on the door says the laundry room closes at 10 pm, but that's rarely true. Tonight it was. I have to wait until 8 am. I work at 7:30. My work clothes are in there. FML

#6253724
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8314) - you deserved it (35516)

On 11/11/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Miserable (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee mug when the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML

#6351303
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22319) - you deserved it (3485)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by disheshateme (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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