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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML

#7395269
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29701) - you deserved it (2380)

On 01/17/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was driving home and stopped at a light. A cute guy in the truck ahead of me waved me forward and told me to roll down my window. It was the first time a cute guy had talked to me in a while so I was pretty excited. He told me to turn my lights on. FML

#7697046
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18466) - you deserved it (9006)

On 01/30/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was robbed of five bucks by a vending machine that said "Enjoy Life!" FML

#13220613
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23217) - you deserved it (3329)

On 09/27/2010 at 9:09am - misc - by lovelife - United States

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

#8598142
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22512) - you deserved it (2902)

On 02/23/2010 at 8:26pm - misc - by susan - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got chased, threatened and assaulted by a cab driver because I wouldn't take the credit card receipt. FML

#13372887
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20846) - you deserved it (6271)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by Rob - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to see his 72-year-old mom who just had minor surgery on her abdomen. When we asked how she was healing, she lifted up her nightgown to show us a bruise near her belly button. She wasn't wearing any underwear. FML

#13507250
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29728) - you deserved it (3139)

On 10/19/2010 at 1:20am - health - by coeurdlucky - United States

Today, I spent ages at CVS waiting for a flu shot. The main cause of holdup was a disagreement between the pharmacist and the insurance company over 4 cents. FML

#14135848
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21845) - you deserved it (2266)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

#14211006
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29420) - you deserved it (8009)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -

Today, I got to my weekly drama group a bit late. Everyone looked surprised when I walked in. Casually, I sat down and apologised for being late. I thought everyone looked awkward, probably because it turned out I'd been kicked out of the group. The teacher had decided to announce it before making sure I'd got the email. FML

#13045584
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22826) - you deserved it (3040)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:31am - misc - by a7xforever (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I began training my replacement at work. She's a senior citizen. She got excited when I taught her how to highlight text on the screen and double-click the mouse because she "never knew how to do those fancy tricks." The job is entirely computer-based. I have to train her for 6 weeks. FML

#13869223
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26342) - you deserved it (2401)

On 11/16/2010 at 8:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

#10788025
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24380) - you deserved it (2776)

On 05/26/2010 at 10:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was talking to me on the land line when his cell phone rang. He told me to wait "two seconds" while he talked to a classmate. Their "two second" conversation lasted ten minutes, and now I can hear the French Open on the TV in background. He forgot he was talking to me. FML

#10913904
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22920) - you deserved it (3909)

On 06/01/2010 at 10:34pm - misc - by chiclet - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm at home sick and someone is moving into the apartment above ours. Judging by the sounds and level of noise, they seem to be opening some sort of woodworking shop. FML

#19513713
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17362) - you deserved it (1505)

On 04/22/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by whirlednews - United States



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