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Today, I sent my fiancé a sexy picture while I was at work. I never got a response from him, so I gave him a call after a while. His 9-year-old son answered. Apparently he was getting a haircut at the time. FML

#21280130
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34822) - you deserved it (9678)

On 10/17/2014 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by melissa1028 (woman) - United States

Today, my blind date thought the best way to start off is to show up blind drunk. She ended up puking on the table and leaving me to pay. FML

#21236314
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39878) - you deserved it (3716)

On 08/13/2014 at 12:25am - love - by ragingwaffles - United States (California)

Today, my parents decided to finally kick me out of the house because they've gotten tired of seeing me "sleep around all day and being so lazy" whenever I'm home. I'm currently triple-shifting for 6 days a week. FML

#21317150
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34207) - you deserved it (2657)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:50am - work - by wallamanut (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I met my neighbors for the first time, as they helped me carry my dead cat off the road. FML

#21284997
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32655) - you deserved it (2875)

On 10/25/2014 at 1:32pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stopped two little boys from spitting over a railing at the piano player two floors below in the department store I work at. Their mom complained to my boss about me. FML

#21231280
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41076) - you deserved it (2913)

On 08/06/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by spitstopper - United States (Alabama)

Today, I performed the Heimlich maneuver on a man. He cussed me out because the piece of food he was choking on was "a perfectly good portion of lobster". FML

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

#21284688
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31473) - you deserved it (3731)

On 10/24/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out one of my girlfriend's recent Google searches was, "should I admit to cheating or just dump him?" FML

#21299071
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34909) - you deserved it (2404)

On 11/14/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my dad why we didn't have any baby pictures. His response was, "They got lost in the flood of '93." I was born in '95. FML

#21314190
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32038) - you deserved it (2486)

On 12/09/2014 at 12:45am - misc - by mn167109 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

#21235555
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27361) - you deserved it (34200)

On 08/12/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by kirstyrd - United States (Michigan)

Today, my teacher "busted" me for writing down answers on my arm for a test. The so called "answers" was just a duck my little nephew had drawn on my hand the night before. She's actually trying to get me suspended over it. FML

#21298328
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36713) - you deserved it (2363)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:17pm - misc - by really - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally got time to take a nap. Later, my mom asked me if I was depressed because I didn't leave my room for 3 hours. She talked to my dad about it, and now my family thinks I'm depressed because I slept for 3 hours. FML

#21306606
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32196) - you deserved it (2575)

On 11/27/2014 at 2:06am - misc - by Sleep. - United States (Missouri)

Today, is the start of the third month that I prayed I would be fired, just so I didn't have to quit because I hate awkward conversations. FML

#21281210
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26790) - you deserved it (8094)

On 10/19/2014 at 5:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wakefield)



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