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Today, I was trying to look cute in front of this really nice guy. I sure hope he thinks smacking into a pole, rebounding backwards and knocking over an old man is cute. FML

#5325412
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13481) - you deserved it (30262)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:14am - love - by mudafkrmas (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that I owed my school $0.20. They decided to charge me a late fee of $20 for deferring the intial payment. FML

#5814625
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25745) - you deserved it (3522)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:04am - money - by latepayer (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, whilst babysitting, I broke a glass. I explained to the kid that it was very important not to walk barefoot around where it had happened, because of the tiny bits of glass. He jumped back, scared, and while doing so tripped. I rushed to help him and ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML

#4467592
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38588) - you deserved it (11475)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:20am - misc - by ohdang (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roomate thought it would be funny to take pictures of my morning wood and put it up on Facebook for everyone to see. FML

#5680173
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22968) - you deserved it (2875)

On 10/06/2009 at 9:53am - intimacy - by Crappit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my cousins and I were bored so we began talking about weird dreams we've had. My little cousin turns to me and says "I had a dream you were in a beauty contest. You lost badly". FML

#4248848
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36406) - you deserved it (4586)

On 08/03/2009 at 3:37am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML

#5509745
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21205) - you deserved it (2687)

On 09/27/2009 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by e11ie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I worked my first day at a nursery. At nap time I spent about an hour trying to get all the kids to calm down and go to sleep. I'd finally got the last one to drop off, when my phone rang. Loudly. FML

#5066091
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11088) - you deserved it (36006)

On 09/05/2009 at 7:02pm - misc - by bubbles (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I bought a nice new dress for a work party. But when I went in, a coworker hurried me into the bathroom saying, "Don't worry we can fix this." She thought someone had been sick on me. Thanks. That was just the pattern of the dress. FML

#6023107
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25945) - you deserved it (6716)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:43pm - work - by yper (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML

#6055815
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18711) - you deserved it (4721)

On 10/29/2009 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was showering, a dark object in the shower kept startling me. After about the fourth time jumping, I realized it was my shadow that was scaring me. I am actually literally afraid of my own shadow. FML

#6017805
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9104) - you deserved it (26830)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

#6001058
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15471) - you deserved it (8986)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Brian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend, making plans to see him tomorrow. He ended the conversation by saying "I'm changing my sheets tomorrow, so take a shower." FML

#5892198
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19092) - you deserved it (5614)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Shower? - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML

#6016625
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26215) - you deserved it (2676)

On 10/26/2009 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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