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Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML

#29771
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23221) - you deserved it (3674)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by language barriers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom I want to try out for American Idol. She responded with, "You don't take disappointment well." FML

#59071
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10582) - you deserved it (23263)

On 02/17/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by abbyleigh08 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML

#158750
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8524) - you deserved it (50325)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by mylifeisamovie - United States (New York)

Today, at my softball game, there was one spot left for center field. The coach had to choose between me or the girl who forgot her glasses and was blind without them. He chose her. FML

#104917
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39646) - you deserved it (4052)

On 02/22/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by JRock - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was meeting friends for dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was waiting for the group to arrive and our table to be ready. An Indian man approached me smiling, so I said "We're not ready for our table yet". Then I realized it was my friend's boyfriend who I've met several times. FML

#181594
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7634) - you deserved it (58318)

On 03/02/2009 at 9:22am - misc - by neelloc83 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML

#193845
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37188) - you deserved it (11005)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:22am - misc - by tracelee - United States (California)

Today, the phone kept ringing but there was only silence on the other line. The third time I yelled, "What the fuck is your F*ing problem asshole!? Get a life shithead!" and hung up. Then the pastor's wife called and explained that she mistakingly set her phone on mute. FML

#430302
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16381) - you deserved it (56559)

On 03/17/2009 at 11:48pm - misc - by jina (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML

#5793982
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26716) - you deserved it (2099)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:21am - misc - by thisisbad (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML

#5873619
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34290) - you deserved it (1551)

On 10/18/2009 at 12:06am - work - by booste (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the driver side mirror of my car was smashed off and laying on the ground. On the window was a $75.00 ticket for improper equipment for not having a mirror. FML

#5923443
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24643) - you deserved it (1382)

On 10/21/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Timebaseboy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML

#4789258
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39142) - you deserved it (6537)

On 08/24/2009 at 5:27pm - love - by NotCuteEnough (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML

#5634739
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3858) - you deserved it (14001)

On 10/04/2009 at 1:04am - intimacy - by masterfail (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the Fire Department found my car overturned in a ditch and on fire. It was two miles away from where I parked it about three hours ago. FML

#5635477
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30497) - you deserved it (1440)

On 10/04/2009 at 1:48am - money - by ThatTrafficCone (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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