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Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 mins. I stayed in there even though I finished shitting after 5 mins, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

#2937594
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32020) - you deserved it (4218)

On 06/16/2009 at 10:59am - work - by yuen (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, My friend and I were stopped at a red light while it was pouring rain. We heard a screeching noise off in the distance and thought, "Hope someone doesn't get hit." Someone did get hit. We did. From behind. FML

#915391
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46839) - you deserved it (3043)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by RainyDay (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. In order to make a good impression I was as polite as possible and tried to be as engaging as I could. Near the end of dinner my girlfriend's mom says, "I liked your old boyfriend better." FML

#785377
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55436) - you deserved it (2814)

On 04/03/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by str3tch - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while interviewing for a job I had to read over the physical requirements for the job. Later on she asked me how flexible I was. Trying to keep a straight face, I told her I was more flexible while I was playing sports but could work on it if I need to. She was talking about work hours. FML

#2175107
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12004) - you deserved it (43653)

On 05/22/2009 at 8:09am - work - by bigblue51 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was rollerblading in the university gardens and taking pictures. A worker started to yell at me, and I told him that I had perfect control and could stay on the sidewalk. As I turned to skate away, I faceplanted into a bed of prized rare flowers. FML

#1481817
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8205) - you deserved it (57156)

On 04/30/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by krizleykrislo - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was putting on cream and my son asked what it was for. I told him it was to keep the wrinkles away. He looked at me closely and replied, "I don't think it's working." FML

#2201363
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42663) - you deserved it (5898)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:04am - kids - by julieb (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML

#3502786
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49106) - you deserved it (2669)

On 07/05/2009 at 11:58am - love - by curiousorange (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to surprise my boyfriend in the shower. I opened the door and there was a giant shit in the open toilet. I pretended I was looking for my hairbrush. FML

#2705
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28653) - you deserved it (6793)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by bad surprise - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

#5431
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53439) - you deserved it (9220)

On 02/02/2009 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the only girl I'm friends with deleted my comment off of her profile because she was too embarrassed that people would see we were friends. FML

#6514
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35240) - you deserved it (2902)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by sh33zy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML

#50686
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46155) - you deserved it (6238)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:45am - animals - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, I typed an essay on my friend's computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject "here bitch" as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn't change the subject name. FML

#171291
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20121) - you deserved it (51752)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:00pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I received my camera in the mail that my mom sent from home since I forgot it when I moved to Italy. It was wrapped in 4 layers of bubble wrap and packed in foam peanuts to keep it from getting broken. As I was removing the last layer of bubble wrap I dropped it, breaking the screen. FML

#1283433
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (43400)

On 04/24/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by raerae (woman) - Germany (Hessen)



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