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Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

#1388
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15430) - you deserved it (5637)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:43pm - love - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML

#1741
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21533) - you deserved it (1895)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by vixenscars - United States (California)

Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML

#2645
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26705) - you deserved it (2203)

On 01/26/2009 at 10:51am - love - by saywhat - United States (Indiana)

Today, I sang the itsy bitsy spider song with a class of thirty 20 somethings because we're going to be kindergarten teachers. She made us do the hand motions too. FML

#2762
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6969) - you deserved it (21799)

On 01/27/2009 at 3:10am - work - by duh - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML

#5105
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33217) - you deserved it (2588)

On 02/02/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by a268 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, the cleaning lady left a note that said my room was too dirty to clean. FML

#6002
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7725) - you deserved it (30359)

On 02/03/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by fuckedalready (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was approached by a girl who called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, then punched me in the face. I'm a virgin. FML

#98260
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69411) - you deserved it (2956)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:37pm - misc - by well then... (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML

#76277
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11642) - you deserved it (45111)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by cynicalcindy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML

#4525349
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37905) - you deserved it (5782)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm - work - by dumblond (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML

#186916
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37193) - you deserved it (8602)

On 03/02/2009 at 6:38pm - misc - by Kelly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend my self and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house but I left my radio turned on. FML

#159713
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17635) - you deserved it (43036)

On 02/28/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Slipperywhenwet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 mins. I stayed in there even though I finished shitting after 5 mins, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

#2937594
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32023) - you deserved it (4218)

On 06/16/2009 at 10:59am - work - by yuen (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, My friend and I were stopped at a red light while it was pouring rain. We heard a screeching noise off in the distance and thought, "Hope someone doesn't get hit." Someone did get hit. We did. From behind. FML

#915391
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46841) - you deserved it (3042)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by RainyDay (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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