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Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML

#21041865
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41942) - you deserved it (4811)

On 01/27/2014 at 2:26pm - love - by love you too mommy - United States (New York)

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42014) - you deserved it (21828)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I was at the fish store asking if they were hiring. My stepdad decided to humiliate me by screaming at them repeatedly that I'm a good person and that I deserve the job. FML

#21060810
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36337) - you deserved it (3306)

On 02/14/2014 at 9:28pm - misc - by author - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a would-be customer practically kicked my store door in, then got pissed and started throwing around insults after I told him that we were still closed, hence the closed sign. He claimed the sign was "confusing". FML

#21098658
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35017) - you deserved it (2919)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:11pm - work - by IDIOT (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

#21141244
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39401) - you deserved it (16690)

On 05/15/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by NickJJ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my little brother put a battery to my tongue while I was sleeping with my mouth open. The shock found its way right to my metal filling. FML

#21123309
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41707) - you deserved it (3590)

On 04/26/2014 at 7:36am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a job interview. It went really well until I couldn't figure out how to open the slide door to get out of the room. FML

#21177054
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38113) - you deserved it (5547)

On 06/16/2014 at 6:49pm - work - by UnhappilyUnemployed (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33874) - you deserved it (22528)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML

#21258936
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31843) - you deserved it (6068)

On 09/15/2014 at 6:19pm - misc - by lucas_urev - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting in a boring lecture. Out of bordom, I made a fish-faces with my mouth. Somehow, I made the most realistic fart noise I've ever heard in the process. The whole room stared at me. FML

Today, my sister and her new husband invited our family and my fiancé over to look at their wedding pictures. Turns out, I caught the bouquet and flashed the world in the process. FML

#21270191
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30891) - you deserved it (3447)

On 10/03/2014 at 4:22pm - misc - by sisterofthebride (woman) - United States

Today, I told my mom that I got into National Honor Society and Beta Club. Most parents are proud but not her. She told me to get a job and that she was tired of my school shit. FML

#21272922
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30553) - you deserved it (2216)

On 10/07/2014 at 5:10pm - misc - by wtfmom - United States (Alabama)

Today, my 63-year-old neighbor jumped out of his window. I was the first to find him, alive, naked and stuck in a bush. I guess I shouldn't have laughed at him while waiting for the ambulance, because he was my landlord. FML

#24
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38306) - you deserved it (20961)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:32am - misc - by Benji -



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