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Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML

#7192878
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8716) - you deserved it (13679)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:03am - intimacy - by a.baybay (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from the guy I'd been seeing for a few weeks. It was his wife calling to find out what was going on with us. He told me he was separated. He left his kids home alone to hook up with me. FML

#7234245
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25899) - you deserved it (4469)

On 01/09/2010 at 11:07am - love - by notahomewrecker - United States

Today, I found out what I look like drunk and naked while swinging a tennis racket thanks to a picture message forwarded to just about everyone I know and some I don't. Among the numbers the text was sent to was a familiar one. My mom's. FML

Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML

#13850065
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23552) - you deserved it (2163)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was helping a customer when she asked if we were open on Christmas eve. I wasn't sure, so I asked my manager. My manager looked me over and said, "Yes, we will be open. Thank you for volunteering to come in." FML

#14223597
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27801) - you deserved it (3745)

On 12/16/2010 at 12:06pm - work - by adjk90 - United States

Today, I found my company car wrecked in a ditch. Apparently, leaving it parked on an icy hill all night was a bad idea. I have to pick up my manager from the airport. FML

#8350634
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6793) - you deserved it (22179)

On 02/16/2010 at 8:29pm - love - by croleymd - United States

Today, after constantly checking my email for a week, I finally got a letter saying that I was accepted to take a test for a job position. The only problem is I was scheduled to test today, eight hours ago. FML

#13565475
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23926) - you deserved it (2966)

On 10/23/2010 at 6:11pm - work - by level6 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend told me that her parents have a bet going on when we are going to break up. FML

#14381154
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24968) - you deserved it (2957)

On 12/29/2010 at 10:24am - love - by ... -

Today, I was taking medicine for my sinus problems and trying to write an essay. I got most of the way done, then unexpectedly fell asleep on my keyboard. When I woke up, my face was wet. I drowned my laptop in my drool. FML

#13777166
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19948) - you deserved it (5698)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:17pm - work - by drooooooool (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML

#13455190
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32314) - you deserved it (3193)

On 10/15/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by racist - United States

Today, I after getting off the bus, I realized that the man I was talking to was distracting me so his "buddy" could steal my wallet. FML

#14573831
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22411) - you deserved it (3283)

On 01/14/2011 at 1:32am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was eating breakfast at an IHOP. As I was eating, the old man sitting directly behind me started discussing every aspect of his spastic colon, in vivid detail. FML

#14809738
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20137) - you deserved it (2599)

On 02/02/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom asked if I was seeing anyone. I launched into a description of my girlfriend, only for her to interrupt, saying that she meant a therapist, and the fact that I'd just made up a relationship was further proof that I needed one. I really do have a girlfriend. FML

#16353801
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38196) - you deserved it (3324)

On 05/26/2011 at 3:53am - love - by lovingpsychosis - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)



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