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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML

#4208368
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8918) - you deserved it (48838)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:20pm - work - by anonymouschicka (woman) - United States

Today, I fell off my desk chair. Why? I failed to notice that the screws I'd been finding on the floor around my room for the past few months belonged to said chair. FML

#5455728
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9754) - you deserved it (27505)

On 09/24/2009 at 9:19pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. They not only brought along embarrassing childhood photos of myself, they'd 'accidentally' placed an intimate photo of me and my ex-girlfriend with them. That was their subtle way of telling everyone they prefer my ex. FML

#5772733
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34883) - you deserved it (2782)

On 10/11/2009 at 7:25am - love - by hateparents (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mother sent my birthday present to me four days late. It was a handy keychain blood alcohol detector so I can make sure I'm sober before I drive. FML

#6068781
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21485) - you deserved it (6820)

On 10/30/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML

#5814058
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27303) - you deserved it (1953)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:45am - intimacy - by LOLCATS (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I tried to surprise my parents on their first day back from New York with candles I made. I used actual lavender flecks from our garden for the scent in the candles. My plan worked until the lavender caught on fire which then spread to all of our mail and newspapers. Welcome home. FML

#4815295
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29162) - you deserved it (10124)

On 08/25/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to a salon. As soon as I walked in, someone ran to me and inspected my hair and said, "We can fix this." I was there to get my daughter's hair done. FML

#5218043
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30507) - you deserved it (5588)

On 09/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by badhair (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had dinner with my family at a fancy restaurant. They kept commenting about how cold it was and asked the waitress to turn off the air conditioning. When I got home, I realized the embroidered daisies on my undershirt made it look like I have giant protruding nipples. FML

#5243719
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19737) - you deserved it (5107)

On 09/14/2009 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I passed my kidney stone. After thirteen hours of pain free joy, another one appeared. FML

#5824297
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29898) - you deserved it (1962)

On 10/14/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by kidneystoner - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML

#6055815
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18559) - you deserved it (4697)

On 10/29/2009 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the military base to save $10 on a haircut. On the way out the gate, the glare of the sun blocked my view of a star barrier. Instead of saving $10 on a haircut I now owe a $500 deductible to fix my car. FML

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

#5875952
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7118) - you deserved it (19838)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, while I was showering, a dark object in the shower kept startling me. After about the fourth time jumping, I realized it was my shadow that was scaring me. I am actually literally afraid of my own shadow. FML

#6017805
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8453) - you deserved it (25691)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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