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Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML

#5105
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33178) - you deserved it (2583)

On 02/02/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by a268 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, the cleaning lady left a note that said my room was too dirty to clean. FML

#6002
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7715) - you deserved it (30308)

On 02/03/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by fuckedalready (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was approached by a girl who called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, then punched me in the face. I'm a virgin. FML

#98260
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68208) - you deserved it (2871)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:37pm - misc - by well then... (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML

#76277
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11630) - you deserved it (45085)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by cynicalcindy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML

#4525349
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37871) - you deserved it (5780)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm - work - by dumblond (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML

#186916
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37151) - you deserved it (8596)

On 03/02/2009 at 6:38pm - misc - by Kelly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 mins. I stayed in there even though I finished shitting after 5 mins, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

#2937594
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31972) - you deserved it (4215)

On 06/16/2009 at 10:59am - work - by yuen (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. In order to make a good impression I was as polite as possible and tried to be as engaging as I could. Near the end of dinner my girlfriend's mom says, "I liked your old boyfriend better." FML

#785377
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55389) - you deserved it (2812)

On 04/03/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by str3tch - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was rollerblading in the university gardens and taking pictures. A worker started to yell at me, and I told him that I had perfect control and could stay on the sidewalk. As I turned to skate away, I faceplanted into a bed of prized rare flowers. FML

#1481817
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8196) - you deserved it (57118)

On 04/30/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by krizleykrislo - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was putting on cream and my son asked what it was for. I told him it was to keep the wrinkles away. He looked at me closely and replied, "I don't think it's working." FML

#2201363
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42625) - you deserved it (5891)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:04am - kids - by julieb (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML

#3502786
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48066) - you deserved it (2588)

On 07/05/2009 at 11:58am - love - by curiousorange (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to surprise my boyfriend in the shower. I opened the door and there was a giant shit in the open toilet. I pretended I was looking for my hairbrush. FML

#2705
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28620) - you deserved it (6789)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by bad surprise - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

#5431
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53372) - you deserved it (9209)

On 02/02/2009 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Illinois)



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