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Today, I dropped my keys in the drain. Thankfully, my new flat mate generously offered his help to reach the keys via flower pot. FML

#244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15989) - you deserved it (3520)

On 11/07/2008 at 9:18am - misc - by Mandoune - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, my boyfriend who has just returned from his 3 month placement abroad cancelled our date. Why? Because there was a match England vs Germany. A friendly match. FML

#347
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16981) - you deserved it (2604)

On 11/20/2008 at 6:10am - love - by archer - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, whilst doing it with my girlfriend she goes :"are you done any time soon?" FML

#367
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28095) - you deserved it (5593)

On 11/22/2008 at 7:24am - intimacy - by KaRaSu - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML

#405
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29724) - you deserved it (7226)

On 11/28/2008 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Sam - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML

#697
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25590) - you deserved it (2931)

On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version

Today, I am contemplating ending my relationship of 6 years. My boyfriend is too busy playing with a plastic guitar to listen. FML

#2469
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21098) - you deserved it (3214)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:09pm - love - by fyou - United States (Michigan)

Today, as my boyfriend was trying to convince me that he was not having an affair with another woman named Julie, he looked me in the eye and exclaimed, "I would never cheat on you, I love you more than anything, Julie". FML

#13222
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43707) - you deserved it (2489)

On 02/07/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by princesspea (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys... a big black rubber cock. FML

#13590
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26219) - you deserved it (5787)

On 02/07/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by J (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I was on the internet with my Dad looking up information about allergies. I began to type 'allergies' into the Google Search Box and as I typed 'a', the phrase 'amazing sex positions' popped up as a search I had already looked up. My Dad asked me if any of the positions worked out. FML

#21100
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11892) - you deserved it (41976)

On 02/10/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face off of my knee and breaking my nose. FML

#63782
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40897) - you deserved it (6187)

On 02/17/2009 at 9:43pm - health - by ouchmynose (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to get my blood drawn for the first time. After I explained to the nurse how nervous I was, she replied, "Oh honey, don't worry! This is my first time too!" FML

#91995
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43751) - you deserved it (2216)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - health - by trackgurl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

#150078
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17134) - you deserved it (47576)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by beachbum (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a basketball game against our rivals. Since the starting guard had a broken ankle, I felt happy that I could finally get playing time and prove that I'm good. Instead I had to run the scoreboard for the game, because the scoreboard guy was absent. FML

#3573001
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32179) - you deserved it (2346)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:49am - misc - by Benchthewarmer (man) - United States



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