Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was driving home with my dad after buying a new truck. We were on the freeway and the engine wasn't revving up very much. My dad thought that something was wrong with my transmission, so he reached over to change gears. Most cars won't go into reverse at high speeds. Mine does. FML

#12706799
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25422) - you deserved it (2630)

On 08/23/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that I've lost thirty pounds since having my second child. However, I still weigh just as much as I did when I was full-term with my first child. FML

#14600676
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22035) - you deserved it (7828)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I found my beloved hamster dead in her cage. Later that day, my boyfriend told me he already noticed that she was dead last night, but did not feel like telling me because he was afraid I wouldn't feel like doing it anymore that night. FML

#13221173
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28059) - you deserved it (3938)

On 09/27/2010 at 10:47am - intimacy - by cinderella (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML

#14190731
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31374) - you deserved it (3697)

On 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by Username - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to a gay club with my supportive straight best friend to find me a date. Somehow, she managed to go home with a guy and I'm still decidedly single. FML

#13018300
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29991) - you deserved it (5912)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home early, and my boyfriend's car was in my driveway. Inside, he was talking to my parents. He walked right past me and left. My mother then says "He wanted me to tell you it's over." FML

#14349476
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31086) - you deserved it (2418)

On 12/26/2010 at 9:29pm - love - by strwbrry (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husbands rather rattling snoring, I finally managed it... only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML

#14990057
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24607) - you deserved it (3399)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:10pm - love - by Ugh (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a conference call and digital meeting at work when I got bored and started surfing the Internet. Little did I know that my desktop was being shared. My boss was on the call and saw everything. FML

#15188781
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6009) - you deserved it (32314)

On 03/03/2011 at 7:39pm - work - by hardlyworking - United States

Today, I woke up to a pile of hair on my floor. I looked in the mirror and realized the hair was from my head. I had a dream about cutting my hair and I guess it came true. FML

#14721795
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24886) - you deserved it (3141)

On 01/26/2011 at 4:49pm - misc - by Larz (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I noticed that the injury on my hand from three weeks ago no longer hurt. A while later, I accidentally slammed that same hand in a door. FML

#15576968
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18659) - you deserved it (14345)

On 03/31/2011 at 4:53pm - health - by BudmaudeY (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I attended the wrong funeral. I spent twenty minutes trying to hide and walk away without being too conspicuous. FML

#15112271
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24693) - you deserved it (7881)

On 02/25/2011 at 7:18am - misc - by Arlbethere (woman) - United Kingdom (Northumberland)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. After he did, he walked over to his friends. I saw him tell them that he broke up with me. After he finished all of them cheered. FML

#18500150
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28510) - you deserved it (7391)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:38am - love - by 50love - United States

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29632) - you deserved it (4217)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: