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Today, the only reason my husband agreed to marriage counselling is because he finds our therapist attractive. FML

by ouch / 07/01/2015 at 9:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were hanging out when he suddenly said, "Do you know who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I prepared myself for a cute compliment, until he showed me a picture of another girl. FML

by storyofmylife / 06/09/2015 at 10:44pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love

Today, I quit my job so I wouldn't have to work with this one complete fuck-wit anymore. I told him what I thought of him, and then walked away giving him the middle finger. Turns out, he is a regular customer at my new job. Everyone loves him and thinks he's awesome. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2015 at 12:49am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, my dad has apparently decided that it's too much of a bother to put clothes on when he gets out of bed. He's been walking around in his tighty-whiteys for hours now. FML

by pantsareathing / 06/13/2015 at 1:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, our outgoing boss told us about guy who's replacing him, saying he's very nice but very anal about things. Without thinking, I shrugged and said "Anal's not bad." Now everyone's calling me Anal-Girl. FML

by very analytical / 06/26/2015 at 3:56pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, I received a break-up text while in a cramped car with my whole family. I had to choke back tears as we got stuck in traffic with the radio playing one love song after another. FML

by ThatOneChick856 / 07/10/2015 at 7:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as always, I have a type of eczema that flares up when I'm stressed out or anxious. And today, the girl I've been in love with for 4 years asked me out on a date. We meet up in a few hours, and right now I look like I have smallpox. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 1:07pm / United States / Health

Today, I got fired from my childcare job of five years because the other staff weren't as popular with the kids, so they accused me of being "creepy" because the kids all wanted to play a game with me instead of them. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2015 at 12:40am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I got fired from my nannying job because one of the mom's several boyfriends mentioned that he found me attractive. FML

by meghancuma / 09/22/2015 at 1:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd patronized for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

by BlueMacaw / 09/16/2015 at 2:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a frozen yogurt stand with my dad. One of the flavors was called "Juicy Cherry." I had to stand there and watch in horror as he told the woman running the stand all about how he'd like to taste her juicy cherry. FML

by ppema / 07/31/2015 at 2:28pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

by shitfaced / 09/18/2015 at 1:30pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Love

Today, I got confused and said grace before brushing my teeth. FML

by oops / 09/26/2015 at 10:24pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous