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Today, I was in the bank with my seven year old daughter, when I saw an old high school friend of mine with his wife. I said hello, and he commented on how beautiful my little girl was. I thanked him, and as I turned away, I heard his wife say "I guess the father must be the good looking one." FML

#187755
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52530) - you deserved it (2294)

On 03/02/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by lexibabe (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the jewelry store to sell my wedding ring after a long and painful divorce. The shop owner took one look at it and called the cops because I tried to sell him a diamond ring that had been stolen from him 3 years ago. My ex-husband left the country a week ago. FML

#209556
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69157) - you deserved it (2850)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:42pm - misc - by ringmaster101 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the street with my friend, one I walk down every day, and I saw a really cute guy nearby. I felt like I looked better than usual, so I turned my head to offer a smile, and walked right into a pole. The impact was strong enough to send me falling to the floor. FML

#847714
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17020) - you deserved it (42354)

On 04/07/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by laurisshnazzy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was running late for work. To save time, I grabbed my belt on my way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator, which stopped at the next floor before I had put my belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator, looked at my undone belt, screamed "Ew" and got off. FML

#1679798
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37895) - you deserved it (9510)

On 05/05/2009 at 10:40pm - misc - by soldier (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I awoke to find a water pipe burst. I frantically ran down to the basement to turn off the water to the house. What I didn't expect when I reached the bottom of the stairs was to have to start dodging the falling, wet ceiling tiles. FML

#3722390
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40054) - you deserved it (2428)

On 07/13/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by jennybrev (woman) - United States

Today, I came home tired and hungry from work. I put my feet up and sat down with a big bowl of chips and salsa. I thought I must have been really hungry because my regular no-name salsa tasted way better than usual. I looked down to examine the jar. Looks like I like the taste of mold. FML

#4218471
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31794) - you deserved it (12523)

On 08/01/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by special-ingredient (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to visit. We went to a cafe where I managed to lock myself in the toilet, breaking the key. I then had to wait for them to break down the door. I came out to applause from everyone, who had been laughing at me for 25 minutes. FML

#3770832
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33043) - you deserved it (4674)

On 07/15/2009 at 10:29am - misc - by FML (woman) - Syrian Arab Republic (Dimashq)

Today, I got a promotion to management at work. My employer decided to give the 'non-management' employees a really nice raise. Which means the job I had before my promotion is now paying more than the job I have now. Did I just get demoted? FML

#5221967
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38889) - you deserved it (2185)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:12am - work - by ofcourse (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

#5885863
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23313) - you deserved it (6193)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:11pm - animals - by Mary - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend is coming over. We haven't seen each other for a while so for a surprise, a few days ago, I decided to shave my pubic hair. I've come up in a huge rash that looks like some sort of infection. Not quite the sexy surprise I was hoping for. FML

#5424386
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18177) - you deserved it (6052)

On 09/23/2009 at 6:43am - intimacy - by fuzzy (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML

#4520748
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14385) - you deserved it (35080)

On 08/14/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by whoneedsdumbcars (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out why my 5 year old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML

#4803668
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38133) - you deserved it (2454)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by Stripperofthemall - United States (California)

Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging his neck and shoulders. He opens his eyes, looks at me, says "No", and goes back to sleep. FML

#5306041
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17180) - you deserved it (12865)

On 09/17/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by turnoff (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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