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Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

#20819762
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35132) - you deserved it (5814)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML

#20842523
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35669) - you deserved it (5353)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was grounded by my dad for "popping pills like a gangbanger". I take prescription ADHD medicine and a multi-vitamin. FML

#20863675
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34118) - you deserved it (2234)

On 09/01/2013 at 9:15pm - love - by zephyrgk - United States (Illinois)

Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML

#20889355
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35266) - you deserved it (2286)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by -.- - United States (California)

Today, I saw a guy in the street drawing caricatures, and I decided to pay him to do one of me. Being a caricature, I looked pretty monstrous in it. When I showed it to my mum later, she shuddered and said, "Yeah, looks just like you." FML

#20998272
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31553) - you deserved it (3379)

On 12/19/2013 at 5:13pm - misc - by ;_; (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was the first dress rehearsal at a community theater. I'm playing a grandma to a bunch of little kids, and the guy who is playing the grandpa wears a fat suit. I put on my costume and one of the kids comes up to me and says, "Are you wearing a fat suit too?" and pokes my stomach. FML

#21059569
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36609) - you deserved it (5817)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by EmmaleeSupertramp (woman) - United States

Today, a customer at work pronounced the word "Asian" as "Ah-See-Awn" when ordering a salad. I wasn't allowed to say anything. FML

#21065187
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33030) - you deserved it (3416)

On 02/19/2014 at 1:24am - work - by PaneraSucks - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I lost my cell phone. But found it again! And then dropped it in the toilet. FML

#21
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39243) - you deserved it (18981)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:30am - money - by enjoy -

Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML

#61
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17311) - you deserved it (50497)

On 10/26/2008 at 12:04pm - work - by Shameonme - Morocco

Today, I remember the first night I spent with my first English boyfriend. I'm French, and when we woke up, I said in my most sexy voice "Oh, I'm so dirty!" It's only when he left that I finally understood the look on his face; I wanted to have a glass of water. I was thirsty, not dirty. FML

#286
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24141) - you deserved it (6351)

On 11/12/2008 at 3:10am - intimacy - by aur - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I often do, I had a shag in my old car. I am 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we are still living at our parents' house. FML

#390
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12847) - you deserved it (8160)

On 11/25/2008 at 11:26pm - misc - by niii - Sent from mobile version

Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML

#476
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24378) - you deserved it (3608)

On 12/09/2008 at 3:59am - love - by Velian - Sent from mobile version

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

#487
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30007) - you deserved it (6378)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:48am - intimacy - by Sugao - Sent from mobile version



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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