Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML

#14881953
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10965) - you deserved it (38534)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:41pm - love - by Lindsay (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was feeling sick but went into my waitressing job because I'd already missed 3 days this week. I was dizzy and managed to spill a tray of drinks all over the customers. Then, when their food was done, I tripped and spilled hot chili all over the man's lap. FML

#14482028
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21022) - you deserved it (10212)

On 01/06/2011 at 1:34am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, I helped out an employee who was having trouble. I even bought her a bottle of water. After the production manager decided to fire her on the spot, she went out in the parking lot and broke into several cars, including mine. FML

#14639057
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24698) - you deserved it (2244)

On 01/19/2011 at 1:54pm - work - by peachesthepigeon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my apartment got robbed. My 'book-in-progress' should keep them company. FML

#14703374
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20533) - you deserved it (2297)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:18pm - misc - by brokenhome - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my first job interview in months. The interviewer started by introducing herself and asking how I was. I got caught between introducing myself and telling her how I was and replied "I'm Kate thanks". FML

#14574476
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18658) - you deserved it (4859)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:51am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML

#15796030
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30158) - you deserved it (2801)

On 04/15/2011 at 3:13pm - health - by madi - United States (California)

Today, as I was driving to work, I glanced in my rear view mirror to see an old man behind me using binoculars to see in front of him since we were stuck in a huge traffic jam. He rear ended me. FML

#16451078
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26792) - you deserved it (2448)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:43pm - misc - by trafficfail (woman) -

Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML

#16201073
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30750) - you deserved it (8320)

On 05/16/2011 at 2:26am - misc - by bugnose (woman) -

Today, in the middle of sex my boyfriend asked if he could use the bathroom. It would've been fine, if he didn't fall asleep on the toilet. FML

#19216663
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22321) - you deserved it (2580)

On 03/04/2012 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by Karen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out the girl I've been fooling around with for two weeks has a boyfriend, who is in jail, and is a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. FML

#18833133
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35585) - you deserved it (6804)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:57am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that the man who offered to put up the woman I love in exchange for me helping out with his rent, has in fact been her "other" boyfriend since before she moved in. FML

#17706301
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21657) - you deserved it (3833)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:48pm - love - by Just me (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while dancing at my studio, our instructor was giving us all characters opposite of ourselves to portray in an improv solo. My friends got cool things like "creepy" and "vulnerable". I got "extremely sexy". FML

#18085773
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26829) - you deserved it (3479)

On 10/27/2011 at 12:00am - misc - by apparentlyunsexy - United States (Texas)

Today, a pigeon got into my apartment. After knocking over a very expensive vase, it panicked, rammed itself against a window, and shat all over the floor as it tried to get out. FML

#19611512
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19550) - you deserved it (1784)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:01pm - animals - by Eric Ngan - Singapore



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: