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Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML

#16235251
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27521) - you deserved it (9694)

On 05/18/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to get my ass in shape and went to the gym. I got motion-sickness on the elliptical. FML

#18778182
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20207) - you deserved it (5128)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:31pm - health - by tbw (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

#18559487
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6826) - you deserved it (32932)

On 12/20/2011 at 3:14am - misc - by phansmootchie (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a customer handed me the ankle-length hosiery she had just used to try on some shoes, and as I sat there feeling the warm dampness of them in the palm of my hand, she said "You should throw those away, I have a toe fungus." FML

#17916744
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28656) - you deserved it (2574)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned it's best not to piss off your mom when she's cutting your hair. FML

#17275625
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10902) - you deserved it (37200)

On 07/27/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by :( - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

#19029338
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20262) - you deserved it (7884)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by pauper (man) -

Today, I had food poisoning. When I was finally able to drag myself to the kitchen for some Gatorade, I got stung by a wasp. FML

#19575961
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22626) - you deserved it (1893)

On 05/05/2012 at 3:19am - health - by markzar - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I did my old "toe-touch" cheerleading move to try to impress my 5-year-old daughter. When I landed, I broke my toe. FML

#18883527
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9550) - you deserved it (21955)

On 01/22/2012 at 7:49pm - health - by cheerymama (woman) - United States

Today, I got stuck for a while in a hallway between two security doors due to a malfunction. I'm not claustrophobic, but I sure am sensitive to horrifying smells coming from a nearby bathroom stall. FML

#18906586
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19635) - you deserved it (1825)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:50am - work - by replik - Russian Federation

Today, I volunteered to be my brother's designated driver. I told him throughout the night that I wasn't drinking, but he ended up leaving me at the bar and going to his friend's house in a cab for more drinks, taking my keys along with him. FML

#19577517
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19395) - you deserved it (3491)

On 05/05/2012 at 2:12pm - misc - by leftoutdrunk - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had finally gotten my dogs to quiet down and my baby to fall asleep. Not thirty seconds later, my neighbor's car alarm went off. They aren't home for the weekend, and the damn alarm has now been blaring for three hours. FML

#19686709
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22827) - you deserved it (1588)

On 05/27/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by shadow1248 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

#20006521
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29385) - you deserved it (1876)

On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got fired from a job that I've had for four days for being too "secretive." Apparently, I was leaning over my notebook so that my boss couldn't stand behind me and read what I was writing. The email literally said I was "being too sneaky". They were work notes. FML

#20132367
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19633) - you deserved it (1513)

On 10/25/2012 at 2:59am - work - by TheHarvardian (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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