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Today, I sent my fiancé a sexy picture while I was at work. I never got a response from him, so I gave him a call after a while. His 9-year-old son answered. Apparently he was getting a haircut at the time. FML

#21280130
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30937) - you deserved it (8316)

On 10/17/2014 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by melissa1028 (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered that if you heckle a mime, it's possible that the mime will actually kick your ass. FML

#21283193
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15522) - you deserved it (34713)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by mr_cheese (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my oldest friend got engaged to her loving boyfriend of one year. Meanwhile, I can't even get my boyfriend of more than four years to commit to a decision of what he wants for dinner. FML

#21316127
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28227) - you deserved it (4114)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:17am - love - by galladore - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother got upset at his video game and flung his DS at the wall, just as I was walking by. I got knocked out to the sound of someone crossing the finish line in MarioKart. FML

#21285323
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31667) - you deserved it (2528)

On 10/25/2014 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my older brother thinks typing out a Wikipedia article for an essay is not plagiarism, because he didn't "copy and paste" it. He's in college. FML

#21300403
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28812) - you deserved it (1998)

On 11/16/2014 at 10:46pm - misc - by areyouserious (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was so lonely, I caught myself whispering to my food just so I had someone to talk to. FML

Today, I heard my mother say, "I feel bad for any girl that marries him because he's, what's the word? Metrosexual!" To my girlfriend. About me. FML

#21300656
68 comments

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his god-damn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML

#21312556
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29129) - you deserved it (8255)

On 12/06/2014 at 1:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML

#21327640
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30882) - you deserved it (4508)

On 12/31/2014 at 3:08am - misc - by driverboy - United States

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33728) - you deserved it (2961)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Today, I told my father I'm going to a club with a friend and staying the night at my friend's place. He asked for my friend's name, number, and address so he knows where I'll be. I'm 30 years old. FML

Today, I was outside with my two new kittens. A woman came rushing over, saying how glad she was that they were outside. She then started complaining that she had only been able to see them through the windows previously. I have no idea who she is or where she lives. FML

#21389096
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30322) - you deserved it (2003)

On 04/07/2015 at 3:14am - animals - by cat.imakittycat. (woman) - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML

#21360063
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26831) - you deserved it (2126)

On 02/20/2015 at 9:54pm - animals - by fml (man) - United States (Colorado)



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