Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was doing a local search at SexSearch.com and I found my sister's profile. FML

#727
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36404) - you deserved it (9203)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:22am - intimacy - by shocked1 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home from work to my basement flooding. With sewage. That wasn't from our house. FML

#5656248
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34003) - you deserved it (1665)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by razzipost1 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife told me that if she had a penny for every time I had brought her to climax she'd have change for a nickel. We've been married for 16 years. FML

#11991
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30336) - you deserved it (11179)

On 02/06/2009 at 5:09pm - misc - by phobopohobia (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML

#18036
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38524) - you deserved it (4223)

On 02/09/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by BearMan (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, a man walked up the escalator with his chubby kid next to him and asked me where the shoe section was. I said, "For you or your son?" He said, "For my daughter." FML

#29521
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11703) - you deserved it (30424)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Mal2222 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML

#34420
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12482) - you deserved it (42793)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by idkmybffjill? (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML

#55893
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36808) - you deserved it (5260)

On 02/16/2009 at 8:11pm - kids - by Lesley (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML

#90751
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92406) - you deserved it (4320)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - intimacy - by screewit (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an affair. She replied, "Yes. With you". FML

#168458
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53339) - you deserved it (6711)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:34am - love - by Sdutent (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, and made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informs me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML

#217564
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40831) - you deserved it (14196)

On 03/05/2009 at 3:12pm - animals - by ohnolunch - United States (California)

Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly : while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML

#569980
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19900) - you deserved it (53257)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by nessacadesa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

#3456831
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30414) - you deserved it (11716)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:19pm - work - by PeePee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went into work happy about my supervising promotion. When I arrived at work, I realized that only one person had decided to come into work today, which meant I had to clean 15 rooms, and supervise myself. FML

#2214094
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36740) - you deserved it (3226)

On 05/23/2009 at 4:20pm - work - by jend (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel it in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: