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Today, my boss had a lengthy and obnoxiously egocentric conversation with a colleague. After she left across the office, I stood up, looked over at my colleague, and made a sarcastic "shooting myself in the head" gesture. I saw my boss staring at me over a cubicle wall as I turned around. FML

#21236078
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27887) - you deserved it (20132)

On 08/12/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by bademployee (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss pretty much told me that I'm too ugly to meet clients, and should stay in the office doing the paperwork. So basically, I'm a modern day Hunchback of Notre Dame. FML

#21232284
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38865) - you deserved it (3565)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:13am - work - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML

#21244619
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33510) - you deserved it (6090)

On 08/24/2014 at 8:08pm - animals - by notmyrealname123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

#21250056
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37370) - you deserved it (3171)

On 09/01/2014 at 9:53pm - health - by germophobe (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35474) - you deserved it (6009)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to bug repellent. So instead of having a couple of itchy bug bites, my skin feels like it's on fire and is violently itchy everywhere the repellent has touched. FML

#21260387
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32669) - you deserved it (2479)

On 09/18/2014 at 12:05am - health - by adamwilcockson - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I waited for over an hour in a park for a date who didn't show up. I finally left because someone came up to me and accused me of creeping on their kids. FML

#21267321
65 comments

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

#21290313
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37635) - you deserved it (3594)

On 11/02/2014 at 6:28am - health - by smellyhair - United Kingdom

Today, I'm so out of shape, I started wheezing on my way to check my mailbox. Not my physical mailbox, either; my email inbox on the phone I'd left on the table at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21285495
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22426) - you deserved it (21286)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:35am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on a first date. I didn't know that licking my neck was on the agenda. FML

#21291715
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31489) - you deserved it (3342)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:24am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39190) - you deserved it (4621)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via Twitter. FML

#21295236
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35374) - you deserved it (3668)

On 11/09/2014 at 3:37am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I held the door open for an old lady, before realizing she was a teacher taking 20-plus kids to lunch at local burger joint, all of whom got in front of me in the line to order. FML

#21304463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33758) - you deserved it (4886)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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