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Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML

#14043145
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29378) - you deserved it (2100)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:12am - misc - by beer guy -

Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mariokart, she decided to leave. FML

#14448955
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17922) - you deserved it (7464)

On 01/03/2011 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in the car with my mom. We were discussing my brother, how he's been screwing up majorly lately and she blamed it on his friends. Then she turned to me and said, "It's a good thing you've never had any friends." FML

#14189966
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27220) - you deserved it (3419)

On 12/13/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by Amanda - United States

Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML

#14467697
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8049) - you deserved it (27484)

On 01/04/2011 at 9:44pm - animals - by BIZZMAL - United States

Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML

#14702634
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22585) - you deserved it (3265)

On 01/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML

#14481844
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23454) - you deserved it (12705)

On 01/06/2011 at 12:57am - intimacy - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML

#14755059
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7419) - you deserved it (39946)

On 01/29/2011 at 7:40am - health - by awkward drunk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was so cold that I had to put slippers over my slippers. FML

#18207765
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21697) - you deserved it (5496)

On 11/10/2011 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML

#17605215
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18654) - you deserved it (2067)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by ant_hater (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

#17613922
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28104) - you deserved it (8693)

On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)

Today, I got up at 4:30 am, went to my job as the newspaper guy. Nobody was there to open the door, it was raining and I was freezing. I decided to wait, because I really wanted my salary. At 6 o'clock my boss opens the door and says, "Oh, it's you. Well, you're fired. We can't pay you anymore." FML

#19225860
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28572) - you deserved it (1685)

On 03/06/2012 at 3:57am - work - by Shan007tjuuh (man) - Netherlands

Today, I had to ask my mum not to meditate while driving. FML

#19216296
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19346) - you deserved it (1743)

On 03/04/2012 at 7:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

#17778916
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22010) - you deserved it (1833)

On 09/19/2011 at 6:16am - animals - by gs - United States (New York)



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