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Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

#20804901
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43072) - you deserved it (3401)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:55pm - misc - by trailertrashyanditsucks (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

#20863583
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45449) - you deserved it (2411)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

#20816873
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48179) - you deserved it (3070)

On 08/02/2013 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML

#20869864
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45397) - you deserved it (2725)

On 09/06/2013 at 2:42am - love - by thissinglelife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

#20859797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38663) - you deserved it (2592)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:11am - work - by Parental Support - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom bitched me out for not driving my little brother to school this morning. The reason I didn't is that some assfuck decided to slash my tires overnight. She was well aware of this fact. FML

#20859259
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42679) - you deserved it (2401)

On 08/29/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by hope they slash you next, mom - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38833) - you deserved it (13138)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, I started my new job. Only after I met my new boss did I realise I've met him before. He was at my friend's party last month, the only time in my life when I got so wasted that I danced on a table before puking on myself. He remembers me, too. FML

#20886598
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40013) - you deserved it (10685)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:31pm - work - by Anoymous (woman) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, when I locked my newly repaired bike up, I carefully took the new rear light off it so that nobody could steal said light. Somebody stole my bike. At least I have a red light to play with. FML

#20936443
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37278) - you deserved it (3574)

On 10/28/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I went to the doctor to see why my walking pneumonia wasn't getting any better. It had. I've just somehow managed to also contract mono... while sitting home, alone. FML

#20935493
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37196) - you deserved it (2386)

On 10/27/2013 at 10:30am - health - by BadLuck (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was in the middle of an interview; it was going great until I started coughing. That coughing led to an asthma attack, which led to nonstop gagging. I couldn't even answer his final question, "Are you okay?" FML

#20990762
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39526) - you deserved it (2458)

On 12/12/2013 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a wake. When my dad picked me up, I was still pretty upset. Just when I'd had enough of death, the car hits a raccoon on the way home. FML

#20980367
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35647) - you deserved it (4519)

On 12/04/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my first job interview in months. Just minutes in, a sudden huge, uncontrollable sneeze overcame me. A wad of snot flew out onto my shirt, which I didn't even notice until the visibly disgusted interviewer pointed it out. FML

#20974690
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37713) - you deserved it (3404)

On 11/29/2013 at 1:08pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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