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Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch". I had to wash his plate. FML

#6752832
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29032) - you deserved it (1716)

On 12/14/2009 at 3:23pm - work - by militarywife2b - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was talking to this guy I like. He's very private and hides all his photos and wall posts on Facebook. Or so I thought, turns out he has me on a restricted friends list, titled "Creepers." FML

#6746062
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9754) - you deserved it (22284)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:03am - love - by creeper (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent christmas eve googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good christmas. FML

#6933145
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23028) - you deserved it (2940)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:25am - animals - by suuuuuupucci (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my uncle got me a debit card and put one thousand dollars on it for my Christmas present. However, he forgot to activate the card. The recipt with the 14 digit activation code is in the garbage in Colorado. FML

#6945221
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25837) - you deserved it (3236)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:20pm - money - by kraziikayce (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML

#6811696
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34753) - you deserved it (3572)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents told me they're getting a divorce. However, they asked me not to tell any of the family so that the news doesn't spoil Christmas. Thanks, Mom and Dad. FML

#6939095
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27822) - you deserved it (1853)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:19pm - misc - by parentalfail (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML

#6933650
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28410) - you deserved it (2717)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:04am - love - by HeSucks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was getting ready for a party and accidentally knocked my blender off the counter. After taking a half an hour to clean up all the glass, I went upstairs to get the spare blender I keep in the closet. I tripped, and broke the blender. I just applied for a waitressing job. FML

#7115601
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20896) - you deserved it (5807)

On 01/03/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by cutiepatootie (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I returned to work after a restful week-long holiday. Before I left, I'd finished a huge assignment which is due this week. I walk in to find a water pipe has burst just above my desk, flooding our office with water and ruining my computer. Happy New Year to me. FML

#7142221
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22649) - you deserved it (2166)

On 01/04/2010 at 6:15am - work - by WetWetWet (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make me feel better. FML

#7696686
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16091) - you deserved it (5268)

On 01/30/2010 at 1:50am - intimacy - by virgo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

#7728542
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20331) - you deserved it (2657)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, I went to contest a parking ticket in court. I came out 3 hours later, all charges clear, to a new parking ticket on my windshield, for the same amount I just got cleared. FML

#7497473
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9045) - you deserved it (25862)

On 01/22/2010 at 11:28am - misc - by sdfsdf - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML

#7336289
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5084) - you deserved it (39668)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:14am - work - by Ilovelife07 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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