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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I finally got over the knee injury that has been holding back my military application for 6 months. They sent me to the optometrist, who said my eyes were too bad for service. FML

#17503246
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28324) - you deserved it (2734)

On 08/17/2011 at 8:23pm - health - by sadface (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my babysitter called to inform me that my grandfather is stalking her. FML

#15237073
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31177) - you deserved it (2666)

On 03/08/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by ToxicSuicide (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I managed to get locked inside a caravan toilet. My relatives heard me having a panic attack and instead of unlocking the door, they called the neighbours over to enjoy my anguish and embarrassment. FML

#17627414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23564) - you deserved it (2740)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:34am - misc - by RhuLynette - United Kingdom

Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After calling her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML

#15893530
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25176) - you deserved it (3719)

On 04/23/2011 at 1:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

#16322705
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28118) - you deserved it (3530)

On 05/24/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my mom confessed that she has to make up compliments to give to prove me wrong when I said she can never say positive things about me. FML

#16053231
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22665) - you deserved it (2991)

On 05/05/2011 at 2:13am - misc - by wow -

Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML

#19178854
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27357) - you deserved it (2126)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:41pm - work - by corey - United States

Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML

#16479065
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26922) - you deserved it (3131)

On 06/03/2011 at 2:25am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML

#17845071
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21237) - you deserved it (2402)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:18am - work - by CathyM - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother and aunt got into an argument about who had gotten groped more times in public. I don't know what's more disturbing, that my own mother would brag about getting groped, or that she won the argument, at 34 times. FML

#17374758
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28238) - you deserved it (2324)

On 08/05/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML

#17980981
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19834) - you deserved it (2198)

On 10/14/2011 at 6:36am - misc - by cnkk07 - United States

Today, I reached behind my couch to plug my phone charger in. My arm got stuck and I had to wait for my roommate to get home to help me. FML

#19746396
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9337) - you deserved it (14586)

On 06/06/2012 at 8:50pm - misc - by jenny2989 - United States

Today, I was working at a retirement center, when an old woman came to me and asked if I would like her old clothes. I politely said, "I'm sorry, but I'm a guy." She then said, "You could have just said no, instead of rudely lying to me." FML

#16380790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36077) - you deserved it (4171)

On 05/28/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by Imaman - United States (Virginia)



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