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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

#6793560
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14087) - you deserved it (26019)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada

Today, my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML

#6823589
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33504) - you deserved it (2828)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:48am - love - by musicyman55 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to have a midnight snack. I figured I knew my own house well enough to leave the lights off so my mom wouldn't wake up. Chuckling at the brilliance of my plan, I walked straight into a doorframe and bust up my nose. FML

#7031630
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7769) - you deserved it (27461)

On 12/30/2009 at 6:30am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got my car back from the repair shop. After paying $400 for them to fix the scratches on the driver's side door, some one decided to key both sides of my car while I was on my lunch break from work. FML

#7199217
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26833) - you deserved it (2525)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:42pm - money - by Animal_aide (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting at the bar of a popular local restaurant. I sat there for a few hours and drank my sorrows away with the bartender. I thought she was pretty, and decided to give her a large tip. The tip sent me over my credit card limit, and the bartender is not single. FML

#7117686
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6840) - you deserved it (30567)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by halien1982 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML

#8394792
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23071) - you deserved it (4197)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:07am - love - by loveless - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, whilst at work, my dad decided to call me and sing an entire rendition of 'The Gambler' by Kenny Rogers. There was a big line of people, and my boss had been standing nearby checking out my phone. I had to stand there and listen to the whole song. FML

#7452564
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19479) - you deserved it (4521)

On 01/20/2010 at 5:01am - misc - by embarrassedinretail (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went on an interview for a job that I had been wanting for months. I thought everything was going great. On my way out, my interviewer asked me to recycle something for him. I agreed. It was my resume. FML

#7324438
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30732) - you deserved it (1851)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:05pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had a very important test. Last night, I'd had such bad leg pains that I couldn't sleep, so I took two very strong painkillers and went to sleep pain-free. I apparently accidentally overdosed, because when I woke up, I couldn't see properly or even stand up. And I missed my test. FML

#7619521
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23412) - you deserved it (8158)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:27pm - health - by fuuuuck (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML

#7366734
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4529) - you deserved it (34252)

On 01/15/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by mah (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out all the money my dad has been saving in the bank for me since birth has all been spent, by my mother who I haven't seen or talked to in about two years. FML

#8654790
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28889) - you deserved it (1584)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:04am - money - by Julia - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my brother blew chunks into the inside of my jeans. How did I find this out? I put them on. FML

#8819162
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25347) - you deserved it (2768)

On 03/04/2010 at 6:24am - misc - by AZN656 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found a parking ticket on my car. Out of five cars who were in violation of the same infraction, I was the only one who received a ticket. FML

#13538195
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24745) - you deserved it (8415)

On 10/21/2010 at 3:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)



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