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Today, I'm at home sick and someone is moving into the apartment above ours. Judging by the sounds and level of noise, they seem to be opening some sort of woodworking shop. FML

#19513713
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16893) - you deserved it (1460)

On 04/22/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by whirlednews - United States

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

#14767473
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23436) - you deserved it (7797)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML

#14484752
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25059) - you deserved it (2280)

On 01/06/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I was driving back from school 100 miles away from my home with my fiancé and dog. While stopping for gas, we accidentally left our car keys and cell phones in the car. The dog sat on one of the keys and engaged the locks. We were locked out of the car until the tow truck arrived. FML

#14474591
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11661) - you deserved it (18118)

On 01/05/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a year dumped me by text. It's also the day that the birthday present I ordered for him was finally processed and shipped, meaning I can't cancel and get my money back. FML

#14551345
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24327) - you deserved it (2418)

On 01/12/2011 at 5:58am - love - by lovefool (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML

#15202722
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32511) - you deserved it (4942)

On 03/05/2011 at 12:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML

#14705943
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21782) - you deserved it (3060)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Ulsan-gwangyoksi)

Today, I got stuck in a small elevator. It started to violently judder up and down after I pressed the 'Help' buzzer. The man on the intercom wouldn't stop laughing at how my voice was jumpy from the juddering movements before he called for help. FML

#15019943
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23758) - you deserved it (2496)

On 02/17/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by stuckinalift (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my friend and I taught a very involved healthy nutrition program to underprivileged youths at a local center. We even made them a healthy snack at the end of the program. Within minutes of the program being over, we catch some of our fellow volunteers feeding the kids Oreos. FML

#15182858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23145) - you deserved it (4738)

On 03/03/2011 at 1:58am - work - by Pickle (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriends house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML

#18101485
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14553) - you deserved it (19784)

On 10/29/2011 at 3:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML

#16235251
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27451) - you deserved it (9684)

On 05/18/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was cutting a little boy's hair at the hairdressers where I work. While cutting his bangs, I noticed his forehead was surprisingly warm. When I asked him if he felt OK, he threw up all over my gown. I think he had some broccoli today. FML

#15830049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36353) - you deserved it (2882)

On 04/18/2011 at 12:46am - kids - by stickyhair (woman) - United States

Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML

#16473954
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30655) - you deserved it (3603)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:01pm - love - by nikto (man) -



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