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Today, I went with my fiancé to meet his parents. He was really sweet the whole way there, and once we got there he introduced me as 'the girl I'm going to marry'. His parents took one look at me and said, "Are you sure?" I laughed, because I thought they were joking. They weren't. FML

#4309429
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48195) - you deserved it (2990)

On 08/05/2009 at 2:17pm - love - by kelizabeth (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, the girl I have been dating for the past five years asked me to move to California with her to get married. Naturally, I was thrilled and said, "Of course, when do you want to leave?". She just stared at me blankly and said, "Shit, I was kidding." FML

Today, my mom said that we needed to have a family meeting because of all the issues that have been going on with our family. My mom, sister and I sat down and began to talk about everything. As I started to cry my sister looks at my mom and says "I win!". She bet my mom $20 that I would cry. FML

#4445611
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42349) - you deserved it (7621)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:43am - misc - by amie (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my boyfriend was fired. After breaking the news, he also broke up with me. Apparently, his boss had a creepy crush on me and would give my boyfriend bonuses for bringing me to company events and, occasionally, out on the boss's personal boat. Looks like I am no longer useful. FML

#4591074
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49946) - you deserved it (2926)

On 08/17/2009 at 1:43am - love - by TrophyGirlfriend (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my roommate revealed that the reason he's so grumpy is because he hasn't gotten laid in a year. I'm his only female friend, and the entire time he talked to me, he stared at my chest. FML

#5923040
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22531) - you deserved it (3521)

On 10/20/2009 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

#4543711
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50054) - you deserved it (18699)

On 08/15/2009 at 3:50am - love - by slipperyhands (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got fired from my job for not "interacting with customers." That's understandable. The thing is, my job didn't actually include any customer interaction. FML

#5539154
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33192) - you deserved it (2825)

On 09/28/2009 at 10:57pm - work - by justfired (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I met with an important client to talk about his stake in the company. The guy was at least 80 years old. After taking care of business we spoke about my final year at the company. As he got up to leave he said "Good luck in your final year". Without thinking, I replied "You too". FML

#3899381
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35063) - you deserved it (14511)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:13am - work - by moutz (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

#21414323
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27695) - you deserved it (2663)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:51am - kids - by DaoOfPow (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML

#4641799
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41383) - you deserved it (5531)

On 08/18/2009 at 10:44pm - love - by Lies (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss my pants. FML

#4173931
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10278) - you deserved it (44476)

On 07/31/2009 at 1:25am - work - by pisspantsjob (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed my wife makes more satisfied groans when she's taking a big dump than she does when we make love. FML

#4992534
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25566) - you deserved it (6638)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by turdburger (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the eye doctor. He tells me that I've developed a severe allergy to contact lenses and must stop wearing them immediately. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just visited him a week earlier, paid for a new prescription and ordered a year's worth of brand new lenses. FML

#4507995
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41696) - you deserved it (3760)

On 08/13/2009 at 7:14pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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