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Today, I was in the car with a group of my girl friends discussing sexual experiences when I looked down and realized my Blackberry had dialed the family I babysit for and had left a five minute voicemail. FML

#22263
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48367) - you deserved it (16972)

On 02/10/2009 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found a bone in my sandwich. It was a veggie burger. FML

#36182
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45461) - you deserved it (7529)

On 02/13/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by veggiegal (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

#62325
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19851) - you deserved it (50326)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, me and my girlfriend got into a fight. After giving my genius response to one of her asinine comments, I stormed out of the store, having the last word. Ten minutes later she comes out to find me in the parking lot. My car wouldn't start. She texts me "Karma's a bitch" then drives away. FML

#159138
50 comments

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

#197015
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75446) - you deserved it (3968)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:36pm - misc - by joAnne (woman) - United States

Today, I was cashiering at a grocery store when an elderly woman came through my line buying prune juice. She then whispered to me that last time she bought it, she "blew up her toilet". FML

#3225149
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40919) - you deserved it (2719)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I rear-ended a car. While we were waiting for the police, we made small talk, at which time I learned he was an attorney. FML

#2454522
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47377) - you deserved it (8231)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:45am - misc - by T-Shain (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was getting off of work, talking to my boss and I asked if I could get a ride home, since my usual ride was too lazy to come get me. He said, sure, but to be really careful since he just had his car detailed. I was getting in the car, tripped and threw my hot cocoa all inside of his car. FML

#2304527
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46549) - you deserved it (20591)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:18am - work - by Leo_RxXx (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML

#2367025
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14568) - you deserved it (45637)

On 05/28/2009 at 3:14am - health - by KKimrae_ness (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as "My other girlfriend." FML

#5526124
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43771) - you deserved it (3923)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was painting the garage door. After 3 hours, I finally finished the job. As I was walking back inside, accidentally pressed the button that opens and closes the garage door. Not only did the paint job get messed up as it went up, the paint also dripped onto my parents brand new car. FML

#2735407
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38048) - you deserved it (23818)

On 06/09/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Free State)

Today, I had artfully managed to avoid anyone knowing that I was moving into a trailer park. I showed up at the trailer where all my friends, co-workers, and exes were waiting. My parents knew I was feeling down and wanted to throw me a surprise 'moving in' party. FML

#495382
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64309) - you deserved it (4511)

On 03/20/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by TrailerTrash (man) - United States (Texas)



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