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Today, I was choking on a popcorn kernel at the movie theater. Nobody helped me. The workers in there told me to leave because I was "disrupting the audience". FML

Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the road. Apparently, I was scarier than the oncoming traffic, because one of them decided to sprint into the road as I walked by. I could hear its bones crunch as it got hit by a car. FML

#21420534
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28330) - you deserved it (2779)

On 06/04/2015 at 1:17am - animals - by avatarnicole9 (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend's dad helped me put coolant in my car. When I said I wished I could do something in return, he told me to get an abortion so I wouldn't "ruin" his son's life. When I told my boyfriend, he didn't believe me. FML

#21444969
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (2575)

On 07/21/2015 at 11:17am - misc - by father-in-nope (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out what mouse intestines squashed against my bare feet feels like. FML

#21451813
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25057) - you deserved it (2518)

On 08/04/2015 at 3:19pm - animals - by whydoihavecats - United Kingdom

Today, I made out with a boy for the first time. I belched into his mouth. FML

#21420681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26049) - you deserved it (6341)

On 06/04/2015 at 12:21pm - love - by NoMoreTacoBell - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my parents secretly throw away any food I cook for them, because they think I might try to poison them. FML

#21435904
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26475) - you deserved it (2538)

On 07/03/2015 at 3:02pm - misc - by Rusty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a hot tub at a public sauna. After chatting with a friendly couple, I decided to go get some lunch. I was halfway out of the water when the man started laughing and said he'd thought I was a woman. I am. FML

#21428077
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27426) - you deserved it (2192)

On 06/18/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, a customer at the restaurant where I work reduced me to tears by screaming at me, as I nearly knocked out his 2-year-old with the kitchen door, after he let the little boy play on the floor behind it. Apparently, it's my fault I can't see through solid wood. FML

#21440548
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26659) - you deserved it (1710)

On 07/12/2015 at 3:39pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML

#21440427
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23292) - you deserved it (5475)

On 07/12/2015 at 10:25am - kids - by brichard22 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the gym playing basketball. A very attractive girl chose me to be on her team. We were playing well and hitting it off. I had decided to ask for her number after the game, until I smashed the ball in her face, resulting in her having a broken nose. FML

Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML

#21432491
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27114) - you deserved it (2963)

On 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by tycrist8 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while on a flight, I was walking back to my seat after going to the bathroom, when someone stuck their leg out, causing me to trip and fall flat on my face. All the guy could say was, "There's a thing called glasses. Fucking use them!" FML

Today, a dog bit me on the bus. Instead of apologising, its owner said it was my fault because my hands "must smell of meat". I'm a vegetarian. FML



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