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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML

#20670246
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43438) - you deserved it (5679)

On 05/18/2013 at 1:22am - love - by Sarsippius -

Today, I won a local arm-wrestling tournament. Too bad I have to use the prize money to repair the tendon I tore in the competition. FML

#20700407
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40040) - you deserved it (14331)

On 06/02/2013 at 12:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was drinking from a cup with a built-in straw. After taking a long sip, I noticed a weird taste. Upon investigation, I found a small caterpillar wedged inside the straw. FML

#20768067
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43181) - you deserved it (3847)

On 07/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by yum - United States (California)

Today, I was doing a little victory jig after finally sending out the last of the invitation cards for my wedding when I realised that I had forgotten to put the date of the event on them. FML

#20749970
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35640) - you deserved it (20634)

On 06/27/2013 at 8:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was reading a newspaper at a bus stop when a creepy guy rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "I miss the good old days, when people would read newspapers together and it wasn't classed as weird." Then he walked away. FML

#20772742
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38717) - you deserved it (3370)

On 07/09/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by help - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

#20776976
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43890) - you deserved it (3915)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got a message from my teacher about my homework. We were supposed to write an original myth explaining a natural event. My teacher bumped my grade for it down to a C for copying a myth that already exists. My myth was based on an original story I've been writing for two years. FML

#20869277
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37201) - you deserved it (3174)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by WritesTooWell - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML

#20867651
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34271) - you deserved it (2651)

On 09/04/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by swana99 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML

#20875436
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45588) - you deserved it (3292)

On 09/10/2013 at 3:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted a cute picture of my boyfriend and me to my mom, who lives very far away. She replied saying that my Photoshop skills are great, but that I don't need to go so far to pretend that anyone would date me, and that there's no shame in being single at 25. FML

#20899972
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43726) - you deserved it (2790)

On 09/29/2013 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38072) - you deserved it (3271)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today, I heard my dad complaining that he won't be able to go to a concert, because it's happening on my birthday. This is the first time he's even acknowledged my birthday in over ten years. FML

#20951699
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39846) - you deserved it (2902)

On 11/09/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I dropped a new 50lb box of tiles. Luckily, none of the tiles broke. I'm assuming this is because my foot cushioned the fall. FML

#20998674
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36869) - you deserved it (3796)

On 12/19/2013 at 11:41pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Ohio)



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