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Today, I found out that my company is paying more for hors d'oeuvres at one party than I will receive for my entire year long internship. FML

by OfficeSlave / 08/25/2011 at 5:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML

by bob / 09/01/2011 at 1:29am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

by izu / 09/16/2011 at 1:40am / United States / Animals

Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when the guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached in to his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML

by Tancred / 09/15/2011 at 3:36am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, in a desperate attempt to get my business "out there", I dropped a few of my cards on a station floor. I got a call, even a quote. A $500 fine from the transit for public littering. FML

by Sam / 09/26/2011 at 7:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money

Today, I thought it would be a great idea to tell my co-worker to calm down when he appeared to be very uptight. He thought it would be a great idea to punch me right in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 7:37am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding". This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML

by -__- / 10/28/2011 at 7:50am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was following my friend to her house in my car, because I didn't know where it was. I'd been following her for at least an hour when she pulled into a gas station. Turns out I'd been following the wrong car. I have no idea where I am. FML

by friedchicken / 11/12/2011 at 1:43am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, and all day, I was forced to listen to one of the kids in my apartment building play their recorder loudly and horribly. She started over whenever she missed a note. I was sick, was getting a migraine from it, and couldn't ask her to stop without her mom yelling at me. FML

by mintypoison / 11/13/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

by taternuts / 11/26/2011 at 7:18am / Canada / Work

Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2011 at 11:27pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

by snarly1 / 12/06/2011 at 3:57am / United States (California) / Work

Today, while trying to prove a point to my mom, I learned that bird seed tastes better than her cooking. FML

by NJ <3 / 01/10/2012 at 10:34am / United States / Miscellaneous