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Today, I found out that the reason I'm working as a kitchen staff instead of out on the floor of the café is because the boss does not think I'm attractive enough. My boss is my brother. FML

by Dude / 10/23/2010 at 11:13am / Singapore / Work

Today, I learned that you can be qualified for a position, be a nice person and enthusiastic about working, but as soon as the boss has a relative looking for a job, nepotism wins. FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2010 at 12:10am / Canada / Work

Today, I lost my job. I was so upset that I put in my favorite mix CD of all the songs that get me feeling better. While scanning for my favorite song, I hit the car in front of me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Kentucky) / Transportation

Today, I was showing my Mom how to use the Internet on her phone. As there was bad reception, it said "Unexpected Failure." Seeing it, she muttered under her breath, "Just like you, then..." FML

by unexpected_failure / 11/22/2010 at 1:35pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home and was greeted by my dad telling me that he pawned my guitar for gas money. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2010 at 9:52pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I was being driven to get my wisdom teeth removed and I was panicking all the way there. When we got to the office, I was told that I'd been brought in on the wrong day, and that I have to do this all over again tomorrow. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 11:28am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said "right now?" FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, one of my boyfriend's friends ranted on about how I am such a crappy girlfriend and how all of his friends don't like me. I just spent over $200 on a surprise party that I invited them all to last weekend. FML

by me / 01/16/2011 at 1:50am / United States (Georgia) / Money

Today, I was applying for a job at a corporate office. Everything went fine until I hurled all over the manager, who until then seemed to like me. Never eat expired canned tuna on the same day as an interview. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2011 at 9:37pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was pulled over for speeding and was shocked that the cop asked me out. Before I could respond, he noticed my wedding ring, said "Nevermind" and then gave me a ticket. FML

by Username / 01/29/2011 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2011 at 3:06pm / United States / Work

Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave that flashes 'enjoy your meal' when it finishes cooking something. FML

by bymyself / 02/06/2011 at 9:05pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML

by Username / 02/08/2011 at 10:27pm / Miscellaneous