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Today, I had my first car crash. I ran into a parked car and the owner saw it happen. I then accidentally opened my door straight into her car as well when I went to give her my information. FML

#21115410
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34903) - you deserved it (10224)

On 04/17/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, while working as a teacher at a daycare, a two year-old girl decided the best way to share that she had pooped was to reach in her diaper and attempt to hand some to me. FML

#21264874
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30228) - you deserved it (2769)

On 09/25/2014 at 12:03am - kids - by disgusted - United States (Maine)

Today, I'm precisely one month away from graduating with a degree in translation for the sole purpose of becoming a state-authorised translator. Today, I also discovered that my government has just decided to abandon the concept of authorisation for translators. FML

#21257358
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38493) - you deserved it (2719)

On 09/13/2014 at 7:03am - work - by stupidgov (woman) - Italy

Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML

#21281679
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32983) - you deserved it (2389)

On 10/20/2014 at 11:03am - work - by Chansus10 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the city shut off our water, because they said we didn't pay the bill. Turns out, it was sitting on their desk the whole time. I guess sending someone out to turn off our water was easier than checking to see if we'd actually paid the bill. FML

#21225552
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39523) - you deserved it (2488)

On 07/31/2014 at 3:35am - money - by fedUPwithPEOPLE (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML

#21262985
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34814) - you deserved it (2866)

On 09/22/2014 at 6:58am - health - by deathstar3548 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after a party, I brought a girl to the flat I share with my 2 best friends. While we are doing it, she asks me "You're not afraid your friends could hear us?". The only answer that spontaneously came out of my mouth: "Don't worry, they're used to it". FML

#76
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16854) - you deserved it (80663)

On 10/27/2008 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Daemon - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

#489
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24561) - you deserved it (15980)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by AudreyUs - United States (California)

Today, I lost my third phone in a year. Making it a grand total of 11 telephones lost or stolen in the past 3 years. FML

#780
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7569) - you deserved it (24606)

On 01/07/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by failphone - United States (California)

Today, my husband called me “my little zebra”. I gave birth a month ago, and I’ve kept a few stretch marks. FML

#1058
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24344) - you deserved it (2105)

On 01/14/2009 at 1:33am - love - by noname - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I marked the 6th anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML

#3114
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34433) - you deserved it (4976)

On 01/28/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I sent a guy that I like a lot a picture of myself, I got all dressed up sexy and did my make-up. He sent me a reply saying "your cat is fat". FML

#5809
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23836) - you deserved it (5879)

On 02/02/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I realized the annoying squealing I hear every night isn't my guinea pig. Apparently my brothers girlfriend makes that sound when they have sex. FML

#62926
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43444) - you deserved it (2863)

On 02/17/2009 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by KTK (woman) - United States (Washington)



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