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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML

#13482616
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9469) - you deserved it (19532)

On 10/17/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by baddoggy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally set off an alarm at the school I work for. No one was there, I didn't have the code or password the company needed, my boss wouldn't answer his phone, 3 policemen interrogated me and asked for ID but realized I left home without my wallet. There was nothing I could do. I cried. FML

#13810119
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28196) - you deserved it (4983)

On 11/12/2010 at 12:37am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML

#13611017
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24355) - you deserved it (5765)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was waiting for a friend to pick me up. It was after dark and I was nervous, so when he pulled up I immediately jumped in the car. The young girl in the driver's seat started freaking out, screaming and punching me in the face repeatedly. I'd accidentally gotten in the wrong car. FML

#13687636
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10508) - you deserved it (24406)

On 11/02/2010 at 12:26pm - misc - by blackandblue (man) - United States

Today, I was arguing in the car with my boyfriend about who was the better driver. Being so incensed by the fact that he thought he was better made me completely zone out, and run a red light. FML

#14197688
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5600) - you deserved it (35530)

On 12/14/2010 at 12:15am - misc - by driver26 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML

#9068336
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21888) - you deserved it (11768)

On 03/14/2010 at 6:21am - misc - by Vegetarian (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, my boss is being so cheap, he'd rather type in the dark, not fix our water heater or replace our cordless phone because he will not get his bonus if he goes over the budget. FML

#14212061
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23774) - you deserved it (2089)

On 12/15/2010 at 11:16am - work - by blahmylife (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML

#14604912
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22298) - you deserved it (2970)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:37pm - misc - by thisisme (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at an important meeting at work, I got to watch helplessly as a police officer gave me a parking meter ticket. Added to that my boss chewed me out for "never paying attention and staring out the window during meetings". FML

#15756717
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20587) - you deserved it (9958)

On 04/12/2011 at 3:25pm - work - by Kevin -

Today, I learned that standing next to a hobo doesn't make me look better in comparison, but instead just makes me seem like a hobo as well. FML

#14862794
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8890) - you deserved it (26355)

On 02/06/2011 at 2:37am - money - by 7rafe7 (man) - United States

Today, a patient at the hospital I work at had a tracheal tube and couldn't speak. I'm unable to read lips, but I'm pretty sure he was mouthing the words 'stupid bitch' every time I tried to stop him from pulling out his IV. FML

#14642325
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20585) - you deserved it (2271)

On 01/19/2011 at 7:52pm - work - by sirenmario -

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22960) - you deserved it (3136)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -

Today, I found out about my parent's divorce over Facebook. FML

#14851025
54 comments


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