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Today, a cop turned his lights and siren on to pull me over. I pulled into a parking lot and got a ticket. It wasn't until the cop pulled away that I realized that I'd pulled into, and interrupted, an on-going funeral visitation. FML

#19847830
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23124) - you deserved it (4939)

On 06/25/2012 at 11:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went out for lunch with a guy I hadn't seen in a couple of months. He seemed to be staring at my chest quite a bit, but I wasn't too bothered by it. Turns out there was still an XL sticker on my shirt. FML

#20074089
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22453) - you deserved it (6479)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:00am - love - by distracted - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my next-door neighbor decided to become a rapper. FML

#20075041
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20829) - you deserved it (1972)

On 09/16/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by MyEarsHurt - United States (California)

Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

#20128630
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24276) - you deserved it (2126)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:34pm - misc - by petra84 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

#19966337
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23608) - you deserved it (2365)

On 07/21/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by AussieG75 - United States (Florida)

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

#19909832
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23023) - you deserved it (4227)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25408) - you deserved it (3292)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML

#20143862
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25744) - you deserved it (2093)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:13am - work - by John - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML

#20173269
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25567) - you deserved it (1625)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Ice cold (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years proposed to me. Less than 3 hours later, he panicked and made me give the ring back. FML

#20407692
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43974) - you deserved it (4265)

On 12/19/2012 at 3:47pm - love - by mahanaaa_23 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37073) - you deserved it (20636)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24054) - you deserved it (2628)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, my extended family came over for Christmas. I forgot to get a present for my extremely sensitive aunt. I took a gift from my re-gift pile and wrapped it quickly. Little did I remember that it was the same gift she gave me last year. She noticed. FML

#20421236
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13069) - you deserved it (40567)

On 12/25/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Christmasloverandstuff - United States



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