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Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML

#20694663
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42765) - you deserved it (3774)

On 05/30/2013 at 1:37am - love - by I'm a joke? -

Today, I got a promotion and transfer at work. My first responsibility is to fire my soon to be father in-law. FML

#20708889
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56491) - you deserved it (3070)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:08am - work - by hesgonnahateme - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my college English teacher told me if I wanted an explanation for my grade I would have to schedule a conference to come to her office. It's an online class. I took an online class because I can't come in. FML

#20774966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39426) - you deserved it (3889)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:15pm - work - by myl1f3isfuct (woman) - United States

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

#20807935
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42500) - you deserved it (3121)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo (man) - United States

Today, I was flirting with a cute bartender on my last day in Spain. It was going well until we somehow got onto the topic of how I was recently dumped by my boyfriend of 3 years via Facebook. He spent the next 5 minutes laughing and telling his coworkers how hilarious that was. FML

#20831150
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39705) - you deserved it (8381)

On 08/10/2013 at 7:41pm - misc - by selfesteemloss (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML

#20832201
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42622) - you deserved it (6139)

On 08/11/2013 at 1:24pm - misc - by just about pissed off (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I found out that apparently I'm in Miami. I am also enjoying a five-star hotel and all of its services. Only one problem: I'm still here, stuck in a small suburban town. F*ck identity theft. FML

#20844068
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47989) - you deserved it (2746)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by iwannagotomiamitoo - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

#20859482
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59744) - you deserved it (6641)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was to give a business report to several important shareholders. Right at the start, I broke into a coughing fit, then got so nervous that I froze up. When I tried to excuse myself, I tripped over my own feet. I'm now facing demotion for making the company look bad. FML

#20843443
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38513) - you deserved it (5066)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:23pm - work - by socianx (man) - Albania

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

#20863583
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45378) - you deserved it (2408)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38780) - you deserved it (13116)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, my insane war veteran great-uncle punched me in the throat for not laughing hard enough at his stupid joke. FML

#20898629
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39442) - you deserved it (4482)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my enjoyment of popping bubble wrap was yet again ruined by my excessive OCD tendencies. FML

#20887677
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34175) - you deserved it (5163)

On 09/19/2013 at 11:18am - health - by BarryShitpeas - United Kingdom (Kent)



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