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Today, I was yelled at in public for staring at a guy in a wheelchair. I was staring 'cause he was so good looking. FML

#21322556
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34150) - you deserved it (4262)

On 12/23/2014 at 6:28am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML

#21235893
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34261) - you deserved it (2752)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

#21222459
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51997) - you deserved it (5003)

On 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by why - United States

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28365) - you deserved it (2773)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I looked at a girl's profile on a dating website, and it told her I'd visited it. Later on, she sent me a message. It said: "Don't even think about it." FML

Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML

#21291542
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27338) - you deserved it (4706)

On 11/03/2014 at 9:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, an elderly woman was crossing the street and dropped her bag of groceries. I got out of my car to assist her, but she beat me repeatedly, yelling that I was "enforcing a stereotype". Sorry for trying to help. FML

#21277469
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33714) - you deserved it (2722)

On 10/14/2014 at 3:15am - misc - by I_AM_READING - United States (Alaska)

Today, I held the door open for an old lady, before realizing she was a teacher taking 20-plus kids to lunch at local burger joint, all of whom got in front of me in the line to order. FML

#21304463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31497) - you deserved it (4325)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML

#21305532
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26876) - you deserved it (5553)

On 11/24/2014 at 11:21pm - animals - by amazinghermit (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my friends and I were talking about our celebrity lookalikes. We decided that my friends all had attractive celebrity lookalikes, including Scarlett Johansson and Hayden Panettiere. When it was my turn, they decided that my "celebrity" lookalike is the Pillsbury Doughboy. FML

#21330766
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26012) - you deserved it (3277)

On 01/04/2015 at 4:53pm - misc - by KD (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML

#21316697
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34386) - you deserved it (6111)

On 12/13/2014 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States

Today, I showed up to work at 6am, only to find out the schedule was changed. I wasn't actually supposed to be there until 9:15. My boss never told me this. I didn't get to go home either, he just said "Oh well. Get to work." FML

#21335669
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28845) - you deserved it (2656)

On 01/12/2015 at 9:36am - work - by Tired - United States (California)

Today, half of my motivation to stop drinking is so that my tolerance will go down, because I currently can't actually afford enough alcohol to get even tipsy anymore. FML

#21319263
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26651) - you deserved it (11449)

On 12/17/2014 at 5:41pm - health - by Recovering Alcoholic - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



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