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Today, I got a call from the Sheriff's dept. saying that water was coming out my front door. I ran home to find a waterfall cascading over my covered parking. It turns out my puppy had chewed through the hose that connects the toilet to the water. My entire condo had an inch of standing water. FML

#4892263
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33840) - you deserved it (4334)

On 08/28/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to a club with my friends. I noticed the bouncer looked at me strangely. Then he erupts and screams, "you're the bitch who caused havoc and £255 damage to the cloakroom, pay up or I'll call the fuzz!" Little did I know my 15-year-old sister stole my ID last weekend. FML

#5468497
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38024) - you deserved it (2774)

On 09/25/2009 at 4:24pm - misc - by busted (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML

#5754527
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19204) - you deserved it (4260)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:19am - intimacy - by Taraa3 (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, somebody broke in to my house and stole my laptop, which had years worth of family photos on it. Where was I when it was stolen? At Staples, buying supplies that included CDs to finally back up my pictures. FML

#5288568
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42739) - you deserved it (4749)

On 09/16/2009 at 6:37am - misc - by fobfan14 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, a customer called in and asked me to read off every item on our menu, along with their ingredients. I work at Jamba Juice so that's a lot of reading. After about 10 minutes of this, I found out it was actually my stupid co-worker calling from the back phone. FML

#3848671
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37473) - you deserved it (9214)

On 07/18/2009 at 1:45am - work - by Rawf (man) - United States (California)

Today, while lifeguarding, I received six prank phone calls on the official pool phone. When it rang again, I picked it up, told them to go fuck themselves, hung up, and then left the phone off the hook. A second later, my cellphone rang. It was my boss, telling me to get a sense of humor. FML

#5007844
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36448) - you deserved it (7223)

On 09/02/2009 at 9:18pm - work - by lifeguardfuckup (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while trying to sleep, I kept hearing this groan/scream for help for about an hour. I decided to call 911 to send someone to investigate. Police came, I received a $100 parking fine and another citation for improper use of 911. The noise? Just a dog howling. FML

#5698254
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24829) - you deserved it (11700)

On 10/07/2009 at 3:57am - animals - by ScaryOldMan (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when all of the sudden I woke up in the hospital, with my dad sitting next to the bed. Apparently, I was hit with a foul ball. He kept the ball for himself. FML

#5492768
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33109) - you deserved it (2711)

On 09/26/2009 at 8:40pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep during my division emergency meeting. As I about to head home that evening, my boss patted me on the back saying "Wrong move. Good luck". Turned out, it was a meeting to determine who will be kicked out of the company due to recession. My name was written first on the list. FML

#5562258
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6871) - you deserved it (47630)

On 09/30/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Unemployed (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out of the outlet and it hit me in the face cutting both my top and bottom lip. FML

#5980515
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9111) - you deserved it (30747)

On 10/24/2009 at 8:41pm - work - by Clutz (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom texted me in the middle of my end of term math exam, saying it was extremely urgent and needed me to come home ASAP. While skipping my exam, I finally got home to find out my mom forgot what the emergency was. FML

#6178217
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29781) - you deserved it (5290)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by failedexam (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

#6391764
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23809) - you deserved it (13778)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:02pm - animals - by eyesightfail (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was using the only stall left in a public restroom; a handicap stall. As I sat down to do my business, I felt something warm dripping down my leg. I looked down to see me urinating on myself through the raised seat. FML

#6075541
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7650) - you deserved it (25584)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:36pm - misc - by JynxQueen - Sent from mobile version



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