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Today, my dad's conspiracy theory obsession hit a new level of stupidity when he blurted "false flag" because our toaster stopped working. FML

#20797881
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33929) - you deserved it (2928)

On 07/22/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by facepalm (man) - United States

Today, I found out how easy it is for people to get into my flat when I found bailiffs in my kitchen at 9am. They had picked the lock to look for someone who doesn't live at my address, but at least had the courtesy to tell me how to make my home more secure. FML

Today, my water broke. I called my mom, who had agreed to watch my other two kids while I went to the hospital. When I asked her to come over, she just said, "Sorry, now isn't a good time." FML

#20781242
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47869) - you deserved it (3271)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Upset Mommy - United States

Today, I was pretending to talk on the phone with my wife just to avoid to speak with my boring coworker. After two awkward minutes of him waiting in front of my desk and me inventing a call, he handed me the disconnected phone cable and left. FML

Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML

#20817997
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43993) - you deserved it (7748)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:29am - kids - by kimm1993 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

#20863583
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48280) - you deserved it (2633)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water, a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML

#20844605
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42673) - you deserved it (3633)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by FamilyLoving - United States (New York)

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

#20865414
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46268) - you deserved it (3519)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm - work - by smurftastic (man) - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

#20863339
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37476) - you deserved it (2931)

On 09/01/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I went to my insurance company to deal with some paperwork. One of their employees backed into my car before I made it into the building. FML

#20874631
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43427) - you deserved it (2836)

On 09/09/2013 at 5:04pm - money - by Sean - United States

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

#20875790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44431) - you deserved it (6468)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by Grand Slam (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, at my first day on the job, a customer threatened my life because our vending machine had run out of Doritos. FML

#20880018
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39836) - you deserved it (2986)

On 09/13/2013 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonynommer (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML

#20879598
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42180) - you deserved it (6784)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Donegal)



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