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Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

#21341221
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30329) - you deserved it (4248)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm - kids - by frozenpoo - United States

Today, while at work at a call center, I got a call from an elderly man who needed a new credit card because he'd accidentally cut up his own card instead of his wife's. Trying to be funny, I said "Trying to keep her in line, eh?" Turns out his wife had just died. FML

Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML

#21336801
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30858) - you deserved it (2567)

On 01/14/2015 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

#21331973
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26445) - you deserved it (4274)

On 01/06/2015 at 11:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML

#21336281
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27538) - you deserved it (2233)

On 01/13/2015 at 6:06am - misc - by notyourcleaner (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML

#285
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7371) - you deserved it (59358)

On 11/12/2008 at 2:53am - work - by bipbip - Sent from mobile version

Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML

#404
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31399) - you deserved it (6931)

On 11/28/2008 at 1:30am - intimacy - by clash - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML

#627
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20990) - you deserved it (5064)

On 12/30/2008 at 1:24am - misc - by mimimi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML

#756
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23326) - you deserved it (5405)

On 11/12/2008 at 10:01pm - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: “I’m keeping them just in case...”- “In case of what?”- “In case I want to dress up like an asshole”. FML

#1859
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8425) - you deserved it (23802)

On 01/20/2009 at 9:01am - love - by dude - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML

#3333
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8859) - you deserved it (33202)

On 01/29/2009 at 10:19am - misc - by Hahaha - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

#4463
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61382) - you deserved it (2851)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Jack - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML

#4601
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30941) - you deserved it (3241)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:41am - work - by sportskidguru - United States (Missouri)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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