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Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML

#20614650
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31521) - you deserved it (17955)

On 04/22/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by KyngJulian - United States

Today, after being nearly homeless and couch-hopping for the last few months, I finally signed a 1-year lease. When I got home, I was surprised to see a picture of my new complex on the front page of the newspaper. It turns out that they are fighting a serious bedbug infestation. FML

#20633909
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42026) - you deserved it (3394)

On 04/30/2013 at 10:50pm - misc - by creepycrawley247 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

#20661400
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39177) - you deserved it (2716)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm - misc - by emmingle - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML

#20655447
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59363) - you deserved it (5356)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Bridget - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML

#20672990
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42432) - you deserved it (2828)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had to make a poster for social studies. I decided to write "Nice ass" in hieroglyphics. Turns out my teacher can read hieroglyphics. FML

#20691781
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23073) - you deserved it (47786)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by Amber - United States (California)

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

#20732528
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36919) - you deserved it (5426)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by ProAwkward - United States (Texas)

Today, after working at my job for months, I quit. Why? My boss tried to convince me that we are in a secret relationship after he told me he loved me. FML

#20751768
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42446) - you deserved it (2768)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:23am - work - by unknown relationship - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML

#20759842
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44157) - you deserved it (4302)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:39pm - health - by good big sister? (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

#20782878
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37132) - you deserved it (4728)

On 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw a little girl digging in the gravel inside the fireworks tent I work in. After she and her family left, I went and used my foot to smooth out the mound she'd made. In doing so, I discovered that she wasn't digging, she was burying. She'd pooped. FML

#20762850
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46629) - you deserved it (4405)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by brokeandhungry - United States

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML

#20788038
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45993) - you deserved it (3855)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:56am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's, cornered me in the kitchen and called the cops. My crime? Robbery, of my own house. FML

#20786208
64 comments


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