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Today, I bougt a key finder tat responds to loud, ig-pitcd, annoying tones. It beeps every time I talk. FML

#18760166
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12655) - you deserved it (19611)

On 01/09/2012 at 8:30pm - misc - by annoying (woman) - United States

Taday I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom an forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I hered some voices outside. In a panic, mah reflex was to get up an lock the door. I did so,hile simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

#18205995
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27413) - you deserved it (10728)

On 11/09/2011 at 10:15pm - health - by stinkypants - India

Today, looool I was working in costume at a recreation of a Confederation-era town. I had to convince a visitor that it's not, in fact, an Amish village, and we do actually leave after five. FML

#17402357
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20226) - you deserved it (2457)

On 08/08/2011 at 12:07am - work - by a-mishunderstanding -

Today... at work... a customer came in. Since I was behind the counter... I asked if she needed help with anything. I've worked there fir five years... and I didn't recognize my own boss. fat FML

#17476443
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8704) - you deserved it (31325)

On 08/15/2011 at 1:00am - work - by DramaticSigh (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I Was Fred 4 Te Second Time In As Many Days. I Received A Letter Notifying Me Tat I Would No Longer Be Working 4 Te Company, Effective Immediately. Wen I Did Not Attend Work Te Next Day, I Received A Pone Call Fring Me 4 Not Turning Up. Mega FML

#18153338
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28559) - you deserved it (2293)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:04am - work - by fired (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are u lesbian?" quiz. big fat FML

#17480180
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26720) - you deserved it (9263)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by blah (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

#17362990
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32733) - you deserved it (11467)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:00am - intimacy - by laughingflame - United States (Illinois)

Taday I was in a urry to get someting out of te oven, so I quickly grabbd my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbd te pan in te oven . It didn't take long to figure out tere was a ole in iten my tumb it te ot pan . FML

#17735625
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22325) - you deserved it (3576)

On 09/13/2011 at 10:48am - health - by .. - United States (Florida)

Today , I looool took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid , liquid , and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24395) - you deserved it (7424)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

TODAY... I GOT THE FEELING THAT MY PHONE SMELT OF CIGARETTES AND B.O. I SMELT IT... REALISD THAT IT WAS MY HANDS THAT SMELT... THEN GOT CONFUSD AND THOUGHT MAYBE IT WAS MY NOSE PIERCING THAT SMELT. I THEN REALISD MY PSYCHOLOGY CLASS WAS WATCHING ME TRYING TO SMELL MY OWN NOSE. FML

#19366702
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6471) - you deserved it (25183)

On 03/28/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by Cass - Australia

Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offerd to carry them 4 him!! He must not have heard me because looool when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them an punchd me in the face!! FML

#19820336
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20223) - you deserved it (3407)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:27pm - misc - by punchedhelper (woman) - United States (New York)

Today On An Important Call With A Potential Employer He Began To Speak Quieter And Quieter Until I Couldn't Hear Him At All!! When I Finally Hung Up After Waiting Fir 5 Minutes I Realized That I Had Been Pressing Down On The Volume Button!! FML

#20182071
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7958) - you deserved it (28193)

On 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm - work - by jkmartinjk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today , I was pulld over and administerd a sobriety test due to an officer's suspicion that I was driving under the influence . I was completely sober , and , apparently , I suck at driving . FML

#20401642
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19543) - you deserved it (10813)

On 12/16/2012 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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