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Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML

#20110797
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23450) - you deserved it (2139)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by scaredofcutouts (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my business is doing so badly that people are teaching their kids to drive in the empty parking lot. FML

#18565836
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30192) - you deserved it (2542)

On 12/20/2011 at 10:18pm - work - by Thomas - United States (South Carolina)

Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML

#19410282
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25694) - you deserved it (2516)

On 04/05/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Lionman (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

#19366084
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22930) - you deserved it (1724)

On 03/28/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by deadgrass (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend over Skype. I said I loved her and hoped we would be together forever. She responded by singing Who Wants to Live Forever into her mic. FML

#19250645
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19742) - you deserved it (3669)

On 03/10/2012 at 10:16am - love - by callen5 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my boss if I could have a bigger cubicle. I'm now working in one that is half the size of my old one. FML

#19457706
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22584) - you deserved it (6396)

On 04/12/2012 at 8:37pm - work - by hatemyboss - United States (California)

Today, I took my puppy for a walk around town. I had to stop and explain to several people that yes, his head was purple because my little sister wanted to make him look like a Na'vi from Avatar. FML

#20041954
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18599) - you deserved it (2168)

On 08/26/2012 at 12:18am - misc - by AmyLeigh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my fiancé's grandmother kept trying to introduce him to this "simply absolutely amazing girl," who she thought "would be just the perfect date" for him. At our engagement party. FML

#19931500
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29856) - you deserved it (1847)

On 07/13/2012 at 2:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought a home at a bargain. It will need 5 grand in repairs to fix plumbing and electric, but it's mine. When I pulled up the listing to show pictures to my friends, there was a new listing that was in the same neighborhood, and a larger, nicer house that is move in ready. Same price. FML

#19892376
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26431) - you deserved it (5372)

On 07/04/2012 at 8:50pm - money - by jenjam (woman) -

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

#19997087
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22581) - you deserved it (2137)

On 08/01/2012 at 8:06pm - love - by daddydaughterWTF - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

#20016514
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21117) - you deserved it (2110)

On 08/12/2012 at 5:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boss bitched at me because my body language "indicates that you don't enjoy doing your job". I just have scoliosis. FML

#19972077
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26370) - you deserved it (1589)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:50am - work - by c - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML

#20116789
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19503) - you deserved it (1406)

On 10/14/2012 at 4:36pm - health - by oppafucktardstyle (man) - United States (New York)



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