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Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

#7014697
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28782) - you deserved it (6604)

On 12/29/2009 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

#6975608
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35823) - you deserved it (5406)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States

Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when my mother walked in. We had no blankets. FML

#7551052
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23024) - you deserved it (7816)

On 01/24/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by meggasee - Sent from mobile version

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

#7475893
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27736) - you deserved it (7378)

On 01/21/2010 at 3:20pm - health - by imalwaystired - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a letter in the mail, my mother has applied for a reduction in her child support payments for my brother and I. She's paid $10 child support in 16 years. FML

#7416712
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33068) - you deserved it (2049)

On 01/18/2010 at 9:23am - money - by bluewatersify - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML

#7562154
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13158) - you deserved it (23210)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:33am - health - by nyu (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at a pet store cuddling an apparently overaggressive chinchilla when it decided to bite me and run out of my hands. It is now nowhere to be found and I have to pay for it. FML

#13886609
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23890) - you deserved it (9575)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by alltimelove -

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead came on the screen. One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "Have you noticed there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot what color my hair is. FML

#8516526
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31278) - you deserved it (3103)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Mika_Ookami - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had a big meeting. Half way through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-worker but I didn't understand what he meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML

#7809149
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24639) - you deserved it (4545)

On 02/02/2010 at 6:25am - work - by paul - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a family funeral. Talking to my grandfather, trying the make chitchat, he says "You're gaining weight, aren't you?" FML

#8683563
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24527) - you deserved it (4084)

On 02/27/2010 at 5:15am - misc - by livvlynette (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after leaving work at 10 pm, I took a shortcut to the highway. After getting lost, my GPS informed me that the service was unavailable and I should try back in an hour. This occurred moments before I ran out of gas. FML

#8861127
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24459) - you deserved it (8260)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by Lost... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that if I try to resist a 70 pound bulldog that's humping my leg, I will end up with stitches. FML

#14294130
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30549) - you deserved it (3132)

On 12/22/2010 at 2:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was one of five people called up to the front in class to receive a special notice from the school administration. The first four people received awards for outstanding effort in school. Mine was a notice that I had overdue library fines. FML

#10502352
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12547) - you deserved it (27081)

On 05/13/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by leftout (man) - United States (California)



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