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Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

#21244302
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36481) - you deserved it (4969)

On 08/24/2014 at 8:40am - animals - by abusedparrot - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the city shut off our water, because they said we didn't pay the bill. Turns out, it was sitting on their desk the whole time. I guess sending someone out to turn off our water was easier than checking to see if we'd actually paid the bill. FML

#21225552
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39380) - you deserved it (2483)

On 07/31/2014 at 3:35am - money - by fedUPwithPEOPLE (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my neighbour casually mentioned that he sold my car's GPS that I'd let him borrow. He figured I wouldn't be needing it anymore since I lost my license. FML

#21228738
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36424) - you deserved it (4508)

On 08/03/2014 at 8:19pm - money - by lovethyneighbour - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend and I tried out a website where you upload pictures of two people, and it shows you what their future children might look like. She actually started crying because the kid we were shown wasn't cute enough for her liking. FML

#21232887
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34752) - you deserved it (3729)

On 08/08/2014 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML

#285
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7311) - you deserved it (58976)

On 11/12/2008 at 2:53am - work - by bipbip - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML

#356
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27895) - you deserved it (2490)

On 11/21/2008 at 7:53am - misc - by Kourou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received a really nice red satin set of underwear, with a bra, a thong and a corset... From my grandfather. FML

#725
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (1810)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:43am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I marked the 6th anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML

#3114
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33940) - you deserved it (4919)

On 01/28/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I had dinner on my own. My cat came and sat on the chair on the other side of the table. We stared at each other during the whole meal. Pathetic. FML

#4050
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29673) - you deserved it (4237)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by JulleandCici - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learnt that nail polish remover is, in fact, VERY flammable. And I learnt it the hard way. FML

#16995
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6660) - you deserved it (37372)

On 02/09/2009 at 4:21am - misc - by adrenochrome (woman) - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys... a big black rubber cock. FML

#13590
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27160) - you deserved it (5908)

On 02/07/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by J (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area. FML

#24461
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14376) - you deserved it (27218)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:59am - misc - by Crog (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, while working on a carpentry project with my friend at 2am, and enjoying some beers, I cut my hand and realized I needed medical attention. Neither of us being in driving shape, I knocked on my parents bedroom door to request a ride. I was told I had to wait for them to "finish." FML



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