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Today, I woke up lying on the ground outside with a horrible headache. I camped out in my tree house last night. FML

#6710619
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23831) - you deserved it (9216)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by B-Man (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to have a midnight snack. I figured I knew my own house well enough to leave the lights off so my mom wouldn't wake up. Chuckling at the brilliance of my plan, I walked straight into a doorframe and bust up my nose. FML

#7031630
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7429) - you deserved it (26621)

On 12/30/2009 at 6:30am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML

#7100685
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18807) - you deserved it (6523)

On 01/02/2010 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Lonely (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

#7327213
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7161) - you deserved it (35825)

On 01/13/2010 at 9:04pm - misc - by nekkiddrunk - United States

Today, I went on an interview for a job that I had been wanting for months. I thought everything was going great. On my way out, my interviewer asked me to recycle something for him. I agreed. It was my resume. FML

#7324438
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30594) - you deserved it (1845)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:05pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML

#7525813
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12719) - you deserved it (18455)

On 01/23/2010 at 6:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I confessed my love to a guy I've been flirting with for months. He then decided to reject me through a poem on Facebook for all of our friends to read. FML

#7255685
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26851) - you deserved it (3651)

On 01/10/2010 at 9:48am - love - by VAngelique (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out the guy I've been seeing for 3 months lives at home with his parents. He's 30. They live in a '50+ only' housing complex and he sneaks in the side door. FML

#7313507
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28720) - you deserved it (3708)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:11am - love - by ilu.xo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at the theatre watching a movie. There was a lady and a kid behind me. I all of a sudden felt ice hit my head. I turned around and asked the kid to stop, then heard his mom say, "Hit that cow!" FML

#7962696
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26429) - you deserved it (2514)

On 02/07/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by HitbyIce (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my brother blew chunks into the inside of my jeans. How did I find this out? I put them on. FML

#8819162
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22712) - you deserved it (2501)

On 03/04/2010 at 6:24am - misc - by AZN656 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to pick up my car from where I parked it last night. I walked over to my parking spot only to find a vegetable stand there in its place. Apparently, that's the location of the Saturday Market and they had my car towed. FML

#13292359
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10828) - you deserved it (22534)

On 10/02/2010 at 6:07pm - money - by hunnybaby0319 - United States (New York)

Today, while making New Year's resolutions, I realized that I haven't hung out with anybody other than my family in over two years and I started crying. When my mom came in and I explained why I was crying, she replied, "Well that sucks. I'm off to have lunch with some friends. See you later!" FML

#14432295
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25222) - you deserved it (7480)

On 01/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML

#14482213
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28168) - you deserved it (9558)

On 01/06/2011 at 2:35am - health - by Anonymous -



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