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Today, I attended my best friend's wedding. Instead of throwing her bouquet, she turned around and handed it to me. I was the only single lady out of 150 guests. FML

by hairstylistprobs / 06/22/2015 at 11:13pm / United States / Love

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that me and her father's wedding is just a big joke and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

by bummed out step monster / 06/24/2015 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my 5-year-old won't stop princess-waving at people. This would be fine, but she looks exactly like she is giving the Nazi salute. I got dirty looks from nearly everyone at the supermarket. FML

by momoftheyearedition / 07/08/2015 at 11:13pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

by zaynemaliksvagina / 06/24/2015 at 1:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my boyfriend to go to the airport with me, to see me off for my three-month stay abroad. He said no because the two-hour drive is "too boring". FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2015 at 7:58am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, I, along with two cops and another paramedic, had to fight to pin down some total scumsucker. He was high out of his mind on god knows what, in his underwear, screaming like a maniac outside someone else's house at 2 in the morning. I don't get paid nearly enough for this shit. FML

by hook me up with some smack, Jack / 08/01/2015 at 2:18am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML

by that girl has a beard / 08/04/2015 at 3:33am / Canada / Love

Today, I went to a garden party my friend had invited me to. I soon discovered they had seriously downplayed the formality of the event, as I noticed trays of fancy hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne lined up on the table. I showed up with Kool Aid and Ritz crackers. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2015 at 8:22am / United Kingdom (Slough) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for smiling and laughing too much. Last week, he reprimanded me for not smiling and laughing enough. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2015 at 10:25pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my parents told me they were getting divorced, at the beginning of a family road trip, adding that this'll be the last thing we ever do as a family. FML

by jordan.marie97 / 08/09/2015 at 2:27am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up from a dream in which my girlfriend gave birth to a litter of puppies. I can't even look at her now without getting nauseous. FML

by yooitscallo / 08/22/2015 at 3:30am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a homeless man asked me for some change. Not having any cash, I gave him a gift card for the restaurant I work at. When I got home I realized I gave him my credit card. FML

by ealovan / 08/24/2015 at 12:18am / United States (Iowa) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my date came to pick me up for a date. As I was getting into his car, a large blister on my foot burst. My foot is now swimming in a pool of hot, liquid pus. FML

by Szaszaspasz / 08/24/2015 at 6:35pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.