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Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

#594
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19159) - you deserved it (6009)

On 12/25/2008 at 7:57am - misc - by poupi - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

#687
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25906) - you deserved it (2008)

On 01/02/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend confessed to me that she wants to dress me up with her clothes, with wig and makeup. FML

#840
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32005) - you deserved it (4707)

On 01/02/2009 at 10:53am - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML

#2565
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28078) - you deserved it (7085)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by God hates me - United States (Texas)

Today, I sang the itsy bitsy spider song with a class of thirty 20 somethings because we're going to be kindergarten teachers. She made us do the hand motions too. FML

#2762
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6764) - you deserved it (21253)

On 01/27/2009 at 3:10am - work - by duh - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. My dog had chewed a hole in the middle of my shorts, and I was standing on a balcony that's located on the busiest street in town. FML

#3930
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6524) - you deserved it (24856)

On 01/30/2009 at 11:08pm - animals - by ThatsNotRight - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML

#5105
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33057) - you deserved it (2577)

On 02/02/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by a268 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I sang at a retirement home with my school choir. Afterward we went to speak to the old people, just to get to know them a little. The first woman I shake hands with ask "Are you a boy or a girl?" FML

#13743
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25864) - you deserved it (3665)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:02pm - misc - by ChoirGuy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I bit into my egg sandwich, and when I looked back into it, there were 5 long, gray, hairs leading from the sandwich into my mouth. FML

#37200
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40849) - you deserved it (3006)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by hhaannnnaahh (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

#79663
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16004) - you deserved it (31735)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by wow (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was approached by a girl who called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, then punched me in the face. I'm a virgin. FML

#98260
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68063) - you deserved it (2860)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:37pm - misc - by well then... (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML

#76277
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11523) - you deserved it (44916)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by cynicalcindy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML

#4525349
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37790) - you deserved it (5771)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm - work - by dumblond (woman) - United States (Maine)



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