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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML

#14117
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10143) - you deserved it (37448)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by lilzoot (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML

#6752
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28812) - you deserved it (27863)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:55pm - work - by kprice6 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML

#5857
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8790) - you deserved it (44908)

On 02/02/2009 at 11:42pm - money - by bluntedone (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML

#18036
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39474) - you deserved it (4325)

On 02/09/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by BearMan (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got this huge package at my college dorm from my parents with candy, chips, canned soup and all these goodies. When I called my mom to thank her, she replied "We got rid of your cat, Annie". FML

#22256
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35738) - you deserved it (2070)

On 02/10/2009 at 8:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in the car with a group of my girl friends discussing sexual experiences when I looked down and realized my Blackberry had dialed the family I babysit for and had left a five minute voicemail. FML

#22263
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44966) - you deserved it (15651)

On 02/10/2009 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my friend who has the same birthday by going out to dinner with a bunch of our friends. The waiter brought out a cake for my friend but not for me. No one noticed my exclusion. I sang happy birthday on my birthday. FML

#109688
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53693) - you deserved it (3298)

On 02/22/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by jet8725 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was talking to my crush about making the soccer team. Excited, he congratulated me and asked for my number. I gave him my cellphone number. He laughed and said "your jersey number". FML

#101947
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39302) - you deserved it (10255)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:24am - love - by 987564 (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching tv when an infomercial for "male enhancement" came on. I grabbed for my phone to make a call when my girlfriend said "O honey, dont buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML

#89031
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46144) - you deserved it (5566)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by allyshah - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way my mother says, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then asks, "Does he know that?" FML

#532977
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61997) - you deserved it (13081)

On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - love - by ThanksMa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" In a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML

#1769804
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13540) - you deserved it (46862)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:08am - animals - by Christine (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I see my dad on a bike so I shout after him. He turns his head around and then runs into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML

#2028672
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19306) - you deserved it (32830)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:35pm - misc - by Richocet - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to be the sober housemate for the first time in a while. I drove my drunk friends to the bar and back and even bought them pizza before they passed out in the living room. I get repaid by catching my wasted housemate in my room peeing all over my floor, bed, and nightstand. FML

#1415880
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52420) - you deserved it (7717)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by fuckmylife (man) - United States (Ohio)



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