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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was making some scrambled eggs. I had the eggs in a pan, stirring for about ten minutes, before I realised that the eggs were cooking very slow. I tried to figure out what was wrong for another few minutes before my grandma pointed out to me that the oven wasn't turned on. FML

#21447619
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10758) - you deserved it (18956)

On 07/26/2015 at 5:04pm - misc - by sarah4241 - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML

#21451650
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20058) - you deserved it (5826)

On 08/04/2015 at 3:33am - love - by that girl has a beard - Canada

Today, I was finally starting to relax after a stressful and expensive move, where I had to give up half my belongings and furniture, as well as my cat. All the stress came rushing back as my new landlord told me that he's selling the building and I've got 30 days to vacate. FML

#21439528
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25522) - you deserved it (1869)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49am - misc - by Stevarious (man) - United States (California)

Today, I watered a dying communal plant. I was fined $250 for littering. FML

#21462582
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19841) - you deserved it (1428)

On 08/30/2015 at 1:46pm - misc - by Waterer - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa saw one of the paintings in the guest room at my house. "What the fuck?" he snorted, then said whoever painted it should "stick to their damn day job". I painted it. FML

#21443043
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23653) - you deserved it (2407)

On 07/17/2015 at 1:50pm - misc - by is cum a fruit or a vegetable? (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

#21448024
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26259) - you deserved it (1886)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I passed my driver's test. My instructor took the learner signs off his car and let me drive back to my place. I guess he didn't bet on me crashing the car just a few blocks from the test center. FML

#21459680
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18994) - you deserved it (5033)

On 08/23/2015 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my philosophy teacher asked me about my parents. I replied that my mum was a cleaner and my dad was a bus driver. In an astonished voice, she said, "But, you're clever..." FML

#434
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33718) - you deserved it (2176)

On 12/02/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by lamb-chop - Sent from mobile version

Today, I interviewed for a call center job making $13/hr, the only job where they called back. I used to live in a doorman luxury apartment in Manhattan with a prime skyline view and clubhouse. That was last month. FML

#3730
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30793) - you deserved it (8347)

On 01/30/2009 at 11:19am - money - by Banker - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was playing musical chairs at a family reunion. It's a well known fact that I'm competitive and tend to hip check people to get that last chair. It came down to me and The Nana. I won. The Nana has a broken hip. FML

#46151
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7501) - you deserved it (64995)

On 02/15/2009 at 10:29am - misc - by nana. (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally deleted my entire email inbox. Everything from the last 3 years. EV-ER-Y-THING. FML

#54626
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16037) - you deserved it (53948)

On 02/16/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by loserman - United States (California)

Today, I had to tell my super-conservative parents that I had just gone to visit the boyfriend I'm not supposed to have so that I could tell him I am pregnant. FML

#113556
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21475) - you deserved it (54336)

On 02/23/2009 at 1:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here" He saw her. It's his daughter. She's a new-hire... running HR. FML

#141211
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13782) - you deserved it (49328)

On 02/26/2009 at 3:07am - work - by bluecollar (man) - United States (Arizona)



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