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Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML

#67236
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42401) - you deserved it (18615)

On 02/18/2009 at 9:15am - love - by Sandra (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was doing a strip tease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML

#84789
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87949) - you deserved it (18391)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a Tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no-liquids rule. They took out a bottle of Massage Oil, Lube, Vagasil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

#173589
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24581) - you deserved it (64390)

On 03/01/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Kammy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML

#236958
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20534) - you deserved it (69233)

On 03/07/2009 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by vibratorgirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I had to get my hair chopped off for a role that I'm playing in a show. I was staring at the floor while the woman cut my hair, and I suddenly heard her start crying. Her tears were immediately followed by "It's okay! I have a friend in New York who can fix it. We won't charge you." FML

#267715
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76030) - you deserved it (3399)

On 03/11/2009 at 1:21am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at lunch with my grandpa and my sister. My grandpa looks over at my sister and says, "Wow. You're so beautiful." Right after, he turns to me and says, "And you have a nice coat." FML

#517502
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62342) - you deserved it (3968)

On 03/21/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by al0406 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as a veteran blood donor, I made a friend who was donating for the first time- I told her not to be scared and that I've been doing it for six years and that it was a great way to help people. While at the snack area afterwards, I passed out, started convulsing and went into shock. FML

#573136
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67232) - you deserved it (7076)

On 03/24/2009 at 8:43am - health - by bridalqueen (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML

#1248987
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12117) - you deserved it (59478)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by notexactly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML

#1682300
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62543) - you deserved it (3003)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:52am - work - by Jay (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML

#1719751
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46174) - you deserved it (4065)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:15pm - work - by nojob (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on my last break, a lady comes up to me and asks if she could have a hug because I reminded her of her daughter that died in a car accident 3 years before. Touched, I called my mom to let her know that I loved her. Before I could tell her, she said it was probably a scam and hung up on me. FML

Today, I was running outside. On the last mile I am along side some fields. While running along the side of the road I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML

#2176338
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33940) - you deserved it (12905)

On 05/22/2009 at 10:08am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized why I was hired to be a nanny. Apparently the husband had eyes for the last nanny. According to the wife I am not attractive enough to be a threat. FML

#3924296
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48071) - you deserved it (3225)

On 07/21/2009 at 4:49am - misc - by nottananny (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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