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Today, I discovered my 10 month old is terrified of my laugh. Every time I start to laugh, she screams in terror. It's getting depressing. FML

#20917208
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45807) - you deserved it (4061)

On 10/12/2013 at 1:40am - kids - by easily amused (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from an angry parent telling me that I'm teaching her son and the other children in the class "wrong philosophies". This was all because I explained to the class that Michigan is divided into two parts. FML

#20930470
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36619) - you deserved it (2401)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML

#20949324
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40610) - you deserved it (8199)

On 11/07/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by Where is the faith in Humanity - United States (Washington)

Today, I took an exam in order to apply for a graduate program I want to get into. Last night, my boyfriend decided it was a good time to break up with me out of the blue. I broke down three times in the middle of the test, and I just barely failed it. FML

#20980454
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42857) - you deserved it (5430)

On 12/04/2013 at 1:39pm - love - by heartbroken - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he thought he heard another guy in the room when he called me, and that I'm cheating on him. The guy he heard was a character from a cartoon my sister was watching. FML

#20958917
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40288) - you deserved it (3099)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

#21011563
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40063) - you deserved it (3363)

On 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm - misc - by awkword (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML

#21050316
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37992) - you deserved it (3336)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:55pm - health - by even axe would smell better (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my friend told me that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Since he's my friend, I didn't want to call him out too bad, so I joked that 90% of statistics are made up on the spot. He called me an idiot and lectured me on how I'd just made that figure up myself. I need new friends. FML

#21086436
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34682) - you deserved it (5560)

On 03/14/2014 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML

#21102227
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39948) - you deserved it (4427)

On 04/01/2014 at 8:02pm - love - by that kind of girl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

#21097979
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44064) - you deserved it (6342)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I had my first car crash. I ran into a parked car and the owner saw it happen. I then accidentally opened my door straight into her car as well when I went to give her my information. FML

#21115410
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35001) - you deserved it (10253)

On 04/17/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, some thieves broke into my church and stole our cameras, monitors, and some other hardware. We were planning to use them for the security system we were about to install. FML



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