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Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML

#21016256
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47464) - you deserved it (4091)

On 01/04/2014 at 2:21am - animals - by That Girl with the Amazon Parrot - United States

Today, I had to accept the fact that I'm going bald, after I noticed the hair on my chest is longer than the hair on my head. FML

#21037094
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39862) - you deserved it (3797)

On 01/23/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Hairy_Potter (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I had to wake up at 4am because my boss set an important business meeting for first thing in the morning. After making sure everything was ready, I went to work. My boss ended up oversleeping and moved the meeting to tomorrow. FML

Today, in the middle of telling my mother about my engagement, she suddenly broke down in tears about her problems at work and her loveless marriage, and abruptly hung up on me. FML

Today, I saw a kid getting bullied; a girl was hitting him in the head. After having an inner struggle with what to do, I tried to stop them. Both kids then turned on me, and called me a "hippo". FML

#21078067
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40950) - you deserved it (4244)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:55pm - kids - by meandme (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it was a really slow day at work. One thing lead to another, and soon enough we were all taking turns shoving each other across the office on a swivel chair. Our boss came in during my turn, and I got singled out for a verbal warning. Everyone else got off with a disapproving glare. FML

#21084165
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39489) - you deserved it (9704)

On 03/11/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by shonfyr (man) - Spain

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

#21069925
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39332) - you deserved it (3122)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm - animals - by crap - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML

#21105340
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43526) - you deserved it (3381)

On 04/05/2014 at 6:04pm - misc - by as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML

#21080512
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42538) - you deserved it (4296)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, my grandma reduced me to a sobbing wreck in two short sentences, just to win a bet against my mum. FML

#21098667
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39003) - you deserved it (4642)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by :( (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML

#21150425
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47852) - you deserved it (3935)

On 05/24/2014 at 5:20pm - misc - by NaCl - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

#21243591
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48742) - you deserved it (6391)

On 08/23/2014 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Dafuq happen there - South Africa

Today, at work, a lady approached me asking if I'd found a used cloth diaper on a table, and I told her it was probably in the trash. She said "That's okay, I can wash it." So I searched through several bags of trash, and when I couldn't find it, she said "Oh never mind! It's in my bag." FML

#21158865
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42831) - you deserved it (4444)

On 06/01/2014 at 12:13am - work - by cootiequeen (woman) - United States



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