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Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML

#1705
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29814) - you deserved it (1913)

On 01/19/2009 at 6:12am - love - by f'ed_over - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sent a guy that I like a lot a picture of myself, I got all dressed up sexy and did my make-up. He sent me a reply saying "your cat is fat". FML

#5809
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23783) - you deserved it (5872)

On 02/02/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I realized the annoying squealing I hear every night isn't my guinea pig. Apparently my brothers girlfriend makes that sound when they have sex. FML

#62926
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43379) - you deserved it (2861)

On 02/17/2009 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by KTK (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML

#233704
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19496) - you deserved it (35679)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:16pm - misc - by Triple F (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I learned that the surprise party thrown for my girlfriend's 19th birthday was wonderful and she couldn't be happier. Except that I didn't show up. Apparently 40 people were invited but I wasn't one of them. We've been going out for three years. FML

#323384
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70665) - you deserved it (3535)

On 03/14/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by chessgeeksam - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a small scar on my faced removed at a plastic surgeon's. Afterward, I told my mom that losing the scar felt weird, like I lost something that gave me character. My mom replied, "Don't worry, you have plenty of other flaws to give you character." FML

#636351
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51993) - you deserved it (6739)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by Lena (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a few old co-workers at the bar. They recognized me and started calling me by the nickname they had for me that I was unaware of. It appears I was known as "butch megan" by the entire office for 2 years. FML

#2903036
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36417) - you deserved it (3607)

On 06/15/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by brutality (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was kicked out of my parents house. I was sleeping in my truck bed because I had nowhere to go. I awoke to a "beep beep beep" noise. I was being towed while sleeping in the truck bed. FML

#2183304
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42661) - you deserved it (5575)

On 05/22/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by tootles (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a public bathroom, and a little boy walks in and he has an accident. He asked if I could help him clean it up. So I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and I slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML

#1968921
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44160) - you deserved it (5963)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:22pm - kids - by Dinho (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

#7876
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16177) - you deserved it (31262)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:44am - health - by Harejordan (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was complaining to my mom about how my sister looked like a barbie doll next to me. I was saying how she was so tan and her hair looked awesome next to mine. She paused for a while and then said "Well you're pretty on the inside." FML

#55287
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31547) - you deserved it (7815)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by Dasani (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the girl I love told me she was sick of guys. I replied that I happened to be a guy. She laughed and said "No, I mean the boyfriend type!" FML

#101898
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44446) - you deserved it (3983)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:16am - love - by Marleck (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

#69443
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42572) - you deserved it (6093)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm - health - by Kristina (woman) - United States (New York)



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