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Today, I discovered that the man I have been talking to on a dating site is actually my ex-boyfriend. He created a fake profile and made me fall for someone that doesn't exist. We got on better anonymously than we ever did in 3 years together. FML

#21373070
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30834) - you deserved it (3274)

On 03/12/2015 at 9:53am - love - by mylovelifeisanepicfail (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I stopped to replace a stuffed bear that had fallen from a small memorial for a girl killed nearby. Her mom happened to walk by and thought I was stealing it. She hit me with her purse. FML

#21388908
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30105) - you deserved it (2072)

On 04/06/2015 at 9:51pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML

#21378919
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27275) - you deserved it (2235)

On 03/21/2015 at 12:47pm - misc - by poop - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

#21378507
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27293) - you deserved it (2063)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by ~__~ -

Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called "How to confess to having an affair." FML

#80
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71943) - you deserved it (4834)

On 10/27/2008 at 5:08am - love - by damnit - United States (Texas)

Today, my son forgot to log out of MSN. He had written, "When am I getting out of this place?" and his username was "mother fucker". FML

#293
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28774) - you deserved it (6937)

On 11/13/2008 at 1:51am - kids - by syle - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend came home with new condoms: Manix Endurance containing a numbing gel designed to help me "last longer". FML

#359
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35491) - you deserved it (10080)

On 11/21/2008 at 11:03pm - intimacy - by CoCo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he went up the stairs, "It stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the bin. We can eat sandwiches. FML

#577
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26042) - you deserved it (3200)

On 12/23/2008 at 1:47am - misc - by zazadudu - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML

#583
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8356) - you deserved it (64870)

On 12/24/2008 at 3:40am - intimacy - by lip - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized I spend way too much time on the computer. I grabbed the menu at the restaurant, glanced at the page, and tried to do CTRL+F to find seafood. Geek coming through! FML

#1196
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6922) - you deserved it (24401)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:14am - love - by Hth - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was jerking one off and my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes... that I now have to explain to my wife. FML

#1752
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33880) - you deserved it (9212)

On 01/19/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him getting it on with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML

#2506
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34613) - you deserved it (2399)

On 01/25/2009 at 8:07am - love - by theamericandream - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML

#3435
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38277) - you deserved it (30023)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)



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