Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a patient at the hospital I work at had a tracheal tube and couldn't speak. I'm unable to read lips, but I'm pretty sure he was mouthing the words 'stupid bitch' every time I tried to stop him from pulling out his IV. FML

#14642325
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20529) - you deserved it (2264)

On 01/19/2011 at 7:52pm - work - by sirenmario -

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22901) - you deserved it (3129)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -

Today, I found out about my parent's divorce over Facebook. FML

#14851025
54 comments

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of a bad haircut. She was the one who cut my hair. FML

#17383595
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33785) - you deserved it (3653)

On 08/06/2011 at 12:58am - love - by meach - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after weeks of watching car after car of solo drivers go by in the carpool lane every day, I decided to join them. I'm the one who got pulled over. FML

#17756140
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8841) - you deserved it (29604)

On 09/16/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's house. I had a shower while he went downstairs. As I went to say goodbye to him, his mother muttered "slut" while pouring him orange juice. FML

#15831964
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37529) - you deserved it (20429)

On 04/18/2011 at 5:34am - intimacy - by sllaggy -

Today, my mum was filling out a reference for me as I work in the family business. When it came to naming two of my strengths, she asked me what to put as she couldn't think of anything. FML

#16529159
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23293) - you deserved it (4154)

On 06/06/2011 at 12:01pm - work - by surefeelslikelove (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML

#16717127
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34482) - you deserved it (10311)

On 06/17/2011 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Willow - United States

Today, my boss reported to the police that a suspicious car has been parked outside the store late at night. I walked outside and my car was gone. He had my car towed. FML

#19037206
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21770) - you deserved it (1772)

On 02/09/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by truth - United States

Today, I went to an interview for a job at a company I've applied for numerous times this year. When I showed up at the interview room, I found it was a vacant office. I called and confirmed the address. I guess this was my hint to stop applying. FML

#17873678
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21250) - you deserved it (4028)

On 09/30/2011 at 8:23pm - work - by lyssamarie316 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was feeling super nervous about driving because I had my first accident the day before. As I stopped at a red light, I got rear-ended. FML

#18470751
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26218) - you deserved it (2213)

On 12/09/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML

#19994302
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20550) - you deserved it (3037)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:28am - misc - by gmd05 (woman) - United States

Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML

#20122984
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26549) - you deserved it (1606)

On 10/18/2012 at 7:52pm - money - by BrokeAsFuck - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: