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Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML

#18972583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24408) - you deserved it (3082)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:11pm - kids - by Bruce (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I attended an elderly man's funeral. As I approached the casket his wife said, "Thank you for coming." I replied with, "No, thank you." FML

#18903193
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9788) - you deserved it (25921)

On 01/24/2012 at 10:40pm - misc - by me - Canada

Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML

#18386574
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32250) - you deserved it (1900)

On 11/29/2011 at 6:59pm - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML

#17725574
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24787) - you deserved it (2785)

On 09/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by silent one - United States

Today, I was willing to sit behind a truck doing 10km/h just to hear an interview with Robbie Williams on the radio. FML

#19020560
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6581) - you deserved it (20729)

On 02/07/2012 at 7:13pm - misc - by nickern (woman) - Australia

Today, I received an e-mail from my girlfriend's parents telling me that all the dirty e-mails I've been sending to her while she is away have been accessible by the whole family. FML

#19070641
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26727) - you deserved it (12948)

On 02/14/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by text at 1:30 am because he didn't want to give me "the dread of answering a phone call." When I asked him for an explanation, his reply was, "For what?" FML

#19039937
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25193) - you deserved it (2489)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:59am - love - by 1.30am (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24498) - you deserved it (7434)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, I texted my flatmate to ask him when he would be paying his portion of the rent, since he has told me he would be late this month. He wrote back to inform me that he had moved out last night while I was away, and that he won't be paying me anything. FML

#19020583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26676) - you deserved it (2195)

On 02/07/2012 at 7:14pm - money - by oceangirl - United States

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

#19579896
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32743) - you deserved it (2780)

On 05/06/2012 at 12:09am - health - by catherineratley - United States (Illinois)

Today, while painting a wall, I handed a bucket of paint up to my friend who was standing on the top rung of a ladder. She said she felt dizzy, and came crashing down on me, along with the paint on my head. FML

#19306494
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20894) - you deserved it (2369)

On 03/19/2012 at 8:39am - misc - by fuuu. - Hong Kong

Today, I was practicing for a choir concert that I have next week. My mom walked into my room and listened to me for a little while. After I finished the last song, she smiled, patted me on the head and said, "It's okay honey, I can't sing either." FML

#19590549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21570) - you deserved it (2660)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Ellie (woman) - United States

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

#19612935
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5989) - you deserved it (21264)

On 05/12/2012 at 6:09pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)



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