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Today, a girl I really liked mentioned she's home alone and that she was really really lonely. She offered for me to come over and watch a few movies with her, and as I got prepared to leave she sent me a text saying " can you pick up my friend Spencer? " FML

#92040
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42845) - you deserved it (2874)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:42pm - love - by batman123 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was writing a very important email to my college professor. I went upstairs for something and came back down to send it. I later asked him today why he hadn't responded to which he said "I'm flattered...but can't." My roommate had added "love you xxx" at the end of the email. FML

#315906
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54030) - you deserved it (7026)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by dntstopmenow (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my Father over top of me saying "nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burgler and he knocked me out. FML

#268069
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52256) - you deserved it (8521)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML

#3477913
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47714) - you deserved it (2173)

On 07/04/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by hot_mess88 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took my best friend out to dinner for my birthday. She gave me a gift after I paid the tab saying, "my mom thought you would like this - it was expensive." It was a lovely set of origami paper, which was the exact set I brought her as a souvenir from Japan. She was right, it was expensive. FML

#3189875
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39459) - you deserved it (2331)

On 06/24/2009 at 10:38pm - misc - by unappreciated (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML

#6221127
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28744) - you deserved it (2484)

On 11/08/2009 at 11:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I drove two and a half hours to a job interview. The interviewer never showed up or called. I sat in the hotel lobby waiting for an hour and a half. Even the hotel staff said they felt sorry for me. FML

#2451149
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48494) - you deserved it (2348)

On 05/31/2009 at 12:06am - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandfather kept on asking me questions about my girlfriend and was obviously proud of the things he remembered about her. The only thing he couldn't remember is that we broke up. I had to talk with him about our 'great relationship' for over an hour. FML

#2480755
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39498) - you deserved it (3498)

On 05/31/2009 at 9:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend has big fake boobs, but gets offended when I tell her how much I like them. FML

#769
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35329) - you deserved it (5621)

On 01/01/2009 at 12:23am - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I crapped in my pants and had to wait an hour of commuting till I could clean it up. What a sight and smell it was on the subway. Thank God I had sunglasses to wear. FML

#2443
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10214) - you deserved it (25863)

On 01/24/2009 at 1:56pm - love - by screwed - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

#13539
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17797) - you deserved it (30846)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:43pm - misc - by Snow (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized that the beef jerky someone had left on the counter and that I'd been sneaking a few pieces of every morning had a cartoon dog holding two strips of beef jerky. I wondered why nobody else was eating it. It was beef jerky for dogs. FML

#94421
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7851) - you deserved it (44768)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:44am - animals - by Chubsley (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went for a job interview on my birthday. I had on a shirt and a tie on and I had my Blackberry in my pocket. I was running a little late, so I dashed outside. When I came out of the door, a bunch of my buddies screamed HAPPY BIRTHDAY! and poured Gatorade all over me. FML

#227236
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53197) - you deserved it (3248)

On 03/06/2009 at 4:24pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)



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