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Today, I woke up to the realization that the 2-hour nap I wanted to take before I went out with my friends last night was actually a 12-hour nap. I missed everything. FML

#5579967
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13942) - you deserved it (31323)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by Ataraxia (man) - United States (California) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, my long-distance boyfriend was at my house for a 10-day visit. He told me that we'd never spent so much time together, so he didn't know me well and now, he'd finally met the "real me". He doesn't like it. FML

#4017197
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40521) - you deserved it (9229)

On 07/24/2009 at 10:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, I was meeting the mayor of a major city as part of an internship program. Seated directly in front of him during his presentation on the budget crisis, he unleashed an enormous, foul fart in front of the entire audience. And then blamed it on me, everyone believed him. FML

#3859879
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52890) - you deserved it (2854)

On 07/18/2009 at 4:10pm - work - by justdoingmyjob (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, there was a traffic accident on the highway which I normally take. I couldn't resist laughing at the driver since he was stupid enough to rear-end someone on the highway. What I didn't realize is that I forgot to pay attention to the road and rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#5479832
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5340) - you deserved it (70727)

On 09/26/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by scarlet5000 (man) - United States

Today, I was walking home from work going over a railway-bridge, when a 12 year old boy standing at the bottom asks if I could help him carry his bike up, as he couldn't lift it. I did it for him, and was greeted on the other side by his father - who thought I was stealing it and hit me. FML

#5047038
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40324) - you deserved it (2136)

On 09/04/2009 at 7:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML

#4777609
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36083) - you deserved it (6904)

On 08/24/2009 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was frustrated at work so to have fun, I wrote an email to myself saying that I was great and loved myself and should relax. I used all different colors and fonts. Instead of hitting "delete", I hit "print" without realizing. My manager got it out of the printer and put it on my desk. FML

#5658558
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8807) - you deserved it (35154)

On 10/05/2009 at 6:49am - work - by Me (woman) - Kuwait

Today, while brushing my teeth my 5 year old son walks into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I have been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML

#5464721
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34874) - you deserved it (7703)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:01am - kids - by bigdaddy (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had an important powerpoint presentation for ALL the big execs at work. It seems that during my lunch break, my boyfriend IMed me on my mac saying "Feeling so horny right now, come home for a quicky like last week?" I didn't see it until the presentation. So did the executives. FML

#3899297
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36726) - you deserved it (9680)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:07am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML

#5741744
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34664) - you deserved it (4518)

On 10/09/2009 at 3:52pm - health - by Unlucky (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I felt inspired to create a photo album of myself through the years. As I was organizing the photos of my childhood, I noticed how many my mom was holding me and hugging me in. When she came home from work I jokingly asked, "When did you start hating me?" She replied, "When you were 4". FML

#4460221
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42826) - you deserved it (5662)

On 08/11/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking to the parking lot from class while texting. When I looked up as I approached my parking spot, I noticed the words "F*ck you Dave" keyed into my car. Hi, my name is Clare. Who's Dave? FML

#6283457
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33581) - you deserved it (1869)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by mynameis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

#5876001
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19430) - you deserved it (3162)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:29am - intimacy - by Ignitingmylightsaber (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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