Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a repairman woke me up so he could change the filter in my furnace. This would have been fine, except he didn't wake me up until he was already in my room, where I was sleeping naked. FML

#6701307
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24575) - you deserved it (4007)

On 12/10/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my roommate came in slamming the front door. I guess he doesn't know that you can't throw hot water on frozen windows. He came up all pissed and called his insurance because he cracked the windshield. We have the same car, in the same exact color. Turns out he threw the water on mine. FML

#6705555
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30821) - you deserved it (2605)

On 12/11/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by Sous_Chef (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I ran into some friends from high school who had just gotten back from college. We were talking about what happened during our sophomore year. When it was my turn to tell them what I had been doing, all I could say was "Well, I started wearing V-Neck t-shirts and they're pretty comfortable." FML

#6840673
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8420) - you deserved it (24169)

On 12/20/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by StayedHome89 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML

#6953786
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22991) - you deserved it (9085)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by creepyguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally came home from a semester of college, and all my parents and sister can talk about is how bad my acne has gotten. FML

#6824006
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25558) - you deserved it (2604)

On 12/19/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by honutattoo - United States (California)

Today, I drove the six hours to LA to attend my Uncle's birthday party. When I tried to get off at the exit, it took me two hours just to get onto the street where the club was. By the time I showed up, the party was already over, so I ended up going to a Denny's. I drove eight hours for a Denny's. FML

#6898693
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23898) - you deserved it (4108)

On 12/23/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by BeautifulDisastre (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML

#7031264
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19615) - you deserved it (2123)

On 12/30/2009 at 5:36am - intimacy - by kte (woman) - United States (Texas)

 Today, I got a text from my crush. In my clumsy attempt to quickly grab the phone, I knocked it off the kitchen counter and cracked the screen. After driving to my friends house so I could put my sim card in her phone, I saw that the text said "who's this? stop texting me." FML

#7374714
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25100) - you deserved it (12945)

On 01/16/2010 at 7:22am - love - by Desperate_measures (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I was at the store when I ran into an old friend from high school. He didn't recognize me at first, but when I told him who I was, he instantly shouted "Oh! Yeah! The fat chick from Mr. H's class!" FML

#7535757
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24485) - you deserved it (3828)

On 01/24/2010 at 1:03am - misc - by unluckymiss (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I looked at my father's facebook for the first time in a month to see his status and it said "making wedding plans!" Really? When was he planning on telling his own daughter. FML

#7226655
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26352) - you deserved it (2565)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:08pm - love - by bitchface (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

#8805892
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22072) - you deserved it (2656)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed my house smells a lot like my grandma's. Not because we use the same cleaning products or anything like that, but because I'm slowly turning into a crazy cat lady. FML

#8420953
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7348) - you deserved it (20627)

On 02/18/2010 at 9:20pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was asked out by a guy who is doing community service because he was caught peeping through windows. I was tempted to say yes. FML

#13945112
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11397) - you deserved it (22639)

On 11/23/2010 at 1:25am - love - by ohsosad (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: