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Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML

#5754527
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19174) - you deserved it (4255)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:19am - intimacy - by Taraa3 (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, at work, a customer called in and asked me to read off every item on our menu, along with their ingredients. I work at Jamba Juice so that's a lot of reading. After about 10 minutes of this, I found out it was actually my stupid co-worker calling from the back phone. FML

#3848671
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37432) - you deserved it (9211)

On 07/18/2009 at 1:45am - work - by Rawf (man) - United States (California)

Today, while lifeguarding, I received six prank phone calls on the official pool phone. When it rang again, I picked it up, told them to go fuck themselves, hung up, and then left the phone off the hook. A second later, my cellphone rang. It was my boss, telling me to get a sense of humor. FML

#5007844
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36374) - you deserved it (7218)

On 09/02/2009 at 9:18pm - work - by lifeguardfuckup (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while trying to sleep, I kept hearing this groan/scream for help for about an hour. I decided to call 911 to send someone to investigate. Police came, I received a $100 parking fine and another citation for improper use of 911. The noise? Just a dog howling. FML

#5698254
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24277) - you deserved it (11509)

On 10/07/2009 at 3:57am - animals - by ScaryOldMan (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when all of the sudden I woke up in the hospital, with my dad sitting next to the bed. Apparently, I was hit with a foul ball. He kept the ball for himself. FML

#5492768
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32741) - you deserved it (2680)

On 09/26/2009 at 8:40pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom texted me in the middle of my end of term math exam, saying it was extremely urgent and needed me to come home ASAP. While skipping my exam, I finally got home to find out my mom forgot what the emergency was. FML

#6178217
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29742) - you deserved it (5286)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by failedexam (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML

#6420890
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28276) - you deserved it (4320)

On 11/23/2009 at 11:40am - love - by worsethanzombies (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

#6391764
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23334) - you deserved it (13624)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:02pm - animals - by eyesightfail (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was using the only stall left in a public restroom; a handicap stall. As I sat down to do my business, I felt something warm dripping down my leg. I looked down to see me urinating on myself through the raised seat. FML

#6075541
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7636) - you deserved it (25552)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:36pm - misc - by JynxQueen - Sent from mobile version

Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "so does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML

#6387420
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39139) - you deserved it (2468)

On 11/21/2009 at 12:59am - love - by Fail (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML

#5984372
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15037) - you deserved it (25283)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Badday (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

#6194907
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18096) - you deserved it (1963)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as a customer was trying on some outfits, I looked over at her husband for his opinion. The response I got? Him licking his lips. Just then his wife looked up to see me gawking at him in shock. She yelled at me to "close my legs and stop checking out her man". FML



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