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Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

#20904281
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31528) - you deserved it (4766)

On 10/02/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by fed up/turned off - United States (California)

Today, I got two pieces of mail. One was a fine for not presenting my concession card to ticket inspectors on a train. The other was my concession card. FML

#20912116
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35493) - you deserved it (2607)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:09am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - China (Shanghai)

Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML

#20991922
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34759) - you deserved it (2521)

On 12/14/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by MGDS (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving home, when a truck overtook me. Two of the Christmas trees it was carrying fell off straight into my bumper. The car behind me pulled over, but instead of seeing if I was okay, he just went to see whether or not either of the trees was in good enough shape to take home. FML

#20981618
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33430) - you deserved it (2265)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:41pm - health - by mooselord (man) - United States

Today, I was mopping the floor at the hotel I work at. Before I could react, a gentleman stormed through the corridor and slipped and fell on the still wet floor. He complained to the owner, who bitched me out just to satisfy the guy. FML

#21009463
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32211) - you deserved it (3387)

On 12/29/2013 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss told me that there is no point in making me cut onions anymore because every time I do, I look like I've "been beaten", and can't be seen by the customers for at least half an hour. FML

#21091068
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29700) - you deserved it (2781)

On 03/19/2014 at 6:24pm - work - by Embarassed (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to get a shirt saying "I'm a girl," just so people won't think he's gay. FML

#21104753
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34960) - you deserved it (4890)

On 04/04/2014 at 9:57pm - misc - by Violet (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML

#16
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9113) - you deserved it (65931)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:26am - health - by Jigll -

Today, I did a barbecue. My boss won't believe me tomorrow when I tell him that the main pages of his 2-months work file helped make the best sausages I've ever done. FML

#164
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13077) - you deserved it (23724)

On 10/30/2008 at 10:51am - work - by Sam - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I dropped my keys in the drain. Thankfully, my new flat mate generously offered his help to reach the keys via flower pot. FML

#244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15835) - you deserved it (3506)

On 11/07/2008 at 9:18am - misc - by Mandoune - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I celebrated the new year. Alone. FML

#648
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13461) - you deserved it (2936)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Nick Nameous - United States (California)

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML

#697
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24266) - you deserved it (2793)

On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother told me: "If you didn't exist, I wouldn't stay with your father". So it's MY fault if she's having problems with him? FML

#961
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23376) - you deserved it (1753)

On 01/11/2009 at 10:22am - love - by Yubi - Belgium (Hainaut)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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