Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it was the first time I ever saw a vagina in person. It was during medical school training on how to do a pelvic exam. FML

#8388
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50049) - you deserved it (9180)

On 02/04/2009 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by medstudent (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML

#30294
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43269) - you deserved it (12857)

On 02/12/2009 at 7:14am - intimacy - by thegoldenboy3 (man) - Spain (Andalucia)

Today, I walked in on my mom changing. She was trying on a thong my boyfriend bought me for Valentine's Day. It looks better on her. FML

#69080
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43483) - you deserved it (4156)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by wnrz (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML

#249390
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54087) - you deserved it (3945)

On 03/09/2009 at 2:15am - work - by unsatisfied (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got to my underground parking garage at work and saw my boss pulling into a spot. I thought I would show him my reverse parking skills and decided to park beside him. As I was pulling in he opened his door to get out and I smashed into it, nearly running him over. FML

#488683
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14779) - you deserved it (64088)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by mikej1985 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

#1512569
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50120) - you deserved it (12351)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while deleting my ex-fiancée's account off my computer, I saved her pics. I found one of her with her now boyfriend in our bedroom. FML

#3712124
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54638) - you deserved it (3923)

On 07/13/2009 at 7:16am - intimacy - by RDMdragoon (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a surprise "absolute final notice" email for payment of an overdue fee from the university I withdrew from 6 months ago. Turns out, my old landlord has been hoarding their letters to me. As a result, my credit is now in the shitter and I had to pay an extra $120 in interest. FML

#5556701
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28572) - you deserved it (2459)

On 09/29/2009 at 10:11pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me. FML

#5054885
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23612) - you deserved it (5273)

On 09/05/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by LaurahLunatic (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had two minutes to get to the bus stop which usually takes me eight minutes. I had to catch that bus to be at work at the hospital in time. I was in such a hurry, I didn't have the time to tie my shoe laces. I ran with untied shoe laces. I did end up in the hospital. FML

#4108973
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33194) - you deserved it (13284)

On 07/28/2009 at 2:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Finnmark)

Today, I was trying to look cute in front of this really nice guy. I sure hope he thinks smacking into a pole, rebounding backwards and knocking over an old man is cute. FML

#5325412
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12806) - you deserved it (29321)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:14am - love - by mudafkrmas (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom asked me if I was crying because my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. That wasn't why I was crying. My mom knows things before I do. FML

#4147404
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48470) - you deserved it (2577)

On 07/29/2009 at 11:20pm - love - by screwed (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I invited over 30 people to come to the park with me since the day was nice and cool. I sat there for three hours by myself. FML

#5579057
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32952) - you deserved it (4465)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: