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Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27870) - you deserved it (2355)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML

#20456464
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27241) - you deserved it (2186)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:15am - kids - by hiccups - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML

#20453278
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33635) - you deserved it (6687)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Latina (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I came home from a two-week vacation. When I walked into my house, I found cat poop everywhere. It took me several hours to clean it all up, and the house still smells terrible. The worst part is that I've never owned a cat in my life. FML

#20500118
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30982) - you deserved it (1869)

On 02/09/2013 at 8:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss yelled at me for visiting Facebook on my work computer. He says that since I can't be trusted, I'll be supervised from now on. I was uploading pictures to the company's Facebook page, which I have to do once a week as part of my job. FML

#20534670
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (2185)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:12pm - work - by arknvl (man) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I interviewed three elderly residents at a nursing home, hoping to use the transcript for a very important paper due next week. It went great, so I wrapped up and drove home. I sat down to start typing, and realized that my recording had stopped ten minutes in. FML

#20577861
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30237) - you deserved it (5259)

On 04/06/2013 at 5:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend twice. Apparently the first time she thought I was kidding. FML

#20602951
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38798) - you deserved it (6472)

On 04/18/2013 at 6:47pm - love - by RaveCharlie - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61792) - you deserved it (5650)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I got a picture message from my aunt that said, "9 out of 10 kids get their awesomeness from their aunt." Normally, I would have agreed, except she forgot my birthday yesterday. FML

#20677224
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31468) - you deserved it (2368)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I honked at a man in a Subway parking lot. He rolled down his window and screamed insults and slurs at me before driving away. Why did I honk at him? He'd left his lunch on top of his car. FML

#20737996
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38491) - you deserved it (3438)

On 06/20/2013 at 10:17pm - misc - by just trying to be nice (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45332) - you deserved it (7862)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was removing large shrubs from a house. I heard my co-worker yell something, but I couldn't hear him, so I just pulled the stump out anyway. What I realized too late was that he was telling me that there was a swarm of bees living behind the stump. FML

#20794428
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37701) - you deserved it (10260)

On 07/20/2013 at 5:44pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that if someone flushes a toilet the same time I'm starting the washing machine, my house will flood. FML

#20844207
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37651) - you deserved it (2275)

On 08/19/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by Ben - United States (Kentucky)



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