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Today, I was kicked out of my parents house. I was sleeping in my truck bed because I had nowhere to go. I awoke to a "beep beep beep" noise. I was being towed while sleeping in the truck bed. FML

#2183304
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42118) - you deserved it (5523)

On 05/22/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by tootles (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a public bathroom, and a little boy walks in and he has an accident. He asked if I could help him clean it up. So I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and I slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML

#1968921
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43650) - you deserved it (5897)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:22pm - kids - by Dinho (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

#7876
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15920) - you deserved it (30921)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:44am - health - by Harejordan (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML

#19088
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32286) - you deserved it (11113)

On 02/09/2009 at 10:59pm - misc - by annoyed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was complaining to my mom about how my sister looked like a barbie doll next to me. I was saying how she was so tan and her hair looked awesome next to mine. She paused for a while and then said "Well you're pretty on the inside." FML

#55287
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29730) - you deserved it (7376)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by Dasani (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the girl I love told me she was sick of guys. I replied that I happened to be a guy. She laughed and said "No, I mean the boyfriend type!" FML

#101898
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41628) - you deserved it (3703)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:16am - love - by Marleck (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

#69443
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40112) - you deserved it (5800)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm - health - by Kristina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on the best date I've been on in years. Later on, over drinks we get talking and I explain how I came out to my friends and family. When I ask him how he came out, he replies that he isn't gay, and oh, did I think this was a date? FML

#141984
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55072) - you deserved it (11169)

On 02/26/2009 at 9:56am - love - by thetheatreguy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML

#183529
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50961) - you deserved it (6397)

On 03/02/2009 at 1:52pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was babysitting my co-workers son. He was eating jell-o and spilt it on his top, so I pulled off his pj's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year old. FML

#254366
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42485) - you deserved it (5164)

On 03/09/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Noname (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working my job as the person who checks people in at the gym. A sweaty chubby woman came up to me complaining about how our staff seems so fit. I replied with "we like to hire people who have bodies that motivate our clients!" She gave a blank stare, then said "so how did you get the job?" FML

#333597
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53139) - you deserved it (13394)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:32am - work - by Bubbah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at the store, I heard a kid complaining about getting braces. While I was saying 'thank you' and 'bye' to the cashier, his grandma must've seen my slightly crooked teeth. She pointed and said, "Without them, your teeth will look bad like that man's!" Everyone around looked at me. FML

#572216
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56933) - you deserved it (3919)

On 03/24/2009 at 4:19am - misc - by teef (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, My family and I were in New Orleans. We passed by all of the naughty peep shows with posters of naked women everywhere on the way to dinner. At the restaurant, my dad asks me if that was the first pair of boobs I have seen. My mom butted in saying, "Nah, remember all that porn we found?" FML

#786946
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69208) - you deserved it (24652)

On 04/03/2009 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)



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