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Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML

#22681
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34762) - you deserved it (5598)

On 02/10/2009 at 10:11pm - misc - by thunder thighs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, during a game of manhunt, my brother and his friends thought it would be funny to tie me to a telelphone pole with my very own multicolored jumprope from when I was younger. They left me there. My mom drove by, stared and then laughed, She kept driving. FML

#153350
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56130) - you deserved it (4551)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML

#263421
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54196) - you deserved it (4199)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:03pm - health - by yodada (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to surprise my husband in the shower. I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out my chest and sucked in my stomach being stupid and my husband says "Wait! Do it again! That's how you looked when I first met you." FML

#5461426
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35055) - you deserved it (10693)

On 09/25/2009 at 2:24am - love - by WOWreally (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a chance to have dinner and a movie with a girl I've liked for a while. I ran late, so in a hurry to make the movie, and trying to be smooth for her, I told the waiter I'd "take care of him" if he made it fast. He did. When he brought the check, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. FML

#677350
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18312) - you deserved it (58577)

On 03/29/2009 at 9:38am - money - by BrokeAsAJoke (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking downstairs to the subway. At the top of the stairs this hobo was peeing. Two seconds before, I told my friend I felt rain. It wasn't rain. FML

#1519871
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55180) - you deserved it (3101)

On 05/01/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by DudeManBro69 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML

#3030130
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9543) - you deserved it (39812)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:34pm - misc - by crap (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss came to my cubicle to give me my annual performance bonus. I was asleep at my desk. FML

#3645286
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9210) - you deserved it (55427)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by ChrisC (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

#6089895
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21051) - you deserved it (2529)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by thornrose22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

#2422362
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47426) - you deserved it (4107)

On 05/30/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by mraow123 (man) - United States

Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML

#19088
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37192) - you deserved it (15020)

On 02/09/2009 at 10:59pm - misc - by annoyed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

#62507
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31172) - you deserved it (8296)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:56pm - work - by jessica (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I applied for a job in an Italian restaurant. Ideally I wanted to be a hostess rather than a waitress, and I told the manager as much. His response? "No no no. Hostess no good for you. We leave that to the pretty girls." FML

#121635
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46419) - you deserved it (3672)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:37am - work - by Ren (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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