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Today, I wanted to prove to my dad that I can drive, so that he'd let me use his car in future. Let's just say I helped him remove the fence that he was planning to repair. FML

#21112820
62 comments

Today, I was supervising a written exam, which took place in a really warm room. Half of the two hundred participants has probably never heard of deodorants. The other half used probably the whole can this morning. I had to stay in this inferno of stench for five hours. FML

#21103838
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37005) - you deserved it (3424)

On 04/03/2014 at 5:48pm - work - by RIP_Nose (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML

#21129302
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24632) - you deserved it (32331)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:57am - misc - by EggHead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend sent me a link to a "horrible" tattoo that he found online, that a guy had gotten at my tattoo parlor. FML

#21133162
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36051) - you deserved it (9021)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:55am - misc - by Bad Artist - United States

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

#21158187
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42517) - you deserved it (3650)

On 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm - health - by half-dead in CA (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend suggested we try something new and spontaneous. Excited to find out first-hand what she had in mind, and ready to fool around, I hurried over to her place. Turns out she's just taken up vegan cooking. FML

#21133708
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34590) - you deserved it (5969)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:01pm - misc - by veggiedude - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of my boyfriend finally giving me an orgasm, I had an anxiety attack, which caused him to have an attack of his own. I guess there is such a thing as having too much in common with your partner. FML

#21146226
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50874) - you deserved it (6741)

On 05/20/2014 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, in a last ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML

#21176055
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45754) - you deserved it (4312)

On 06/15/2014 at 10:21pm - work - by Godhelpme (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, we went to the wedding of one of my friends. As she was about to throw her bouquet, my boyfriend muttered that if I tried to catch it, we'd be through. FML

#21182017
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42198) - you deserved it (5098)

On 06/20/2014 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41560) - you deserved it (6141)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

#21209203
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40168) - you deserved it (6015)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:48pm - love - by KaiyaOtaku1 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to google the definition of transsexual just to know what the hell my friends were talking about. I need to read a book. FML

#21282666
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13495) - you deserved it (20846)

On 10/21/2014 at 8:36pm - misc - by Awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was mowing my grandma's lawn when I was suddenly swarmed by bees. When my grandma saw me covered in stings later on, she said, "Oh yeah, there are tons of bees in the grass! Be careful!" FML

#21274044
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32400) - you deserved it (2207)

On 10/09/2014 at 2:51am - health - by bees - United States (Pennsylvania)



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