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Today, I walked in on my looool dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

#21247953
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45839) - you deserved it (6872)

On 08/29/2014 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by SCARRED (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today... it's my birthday... and everyone... family and friends... forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML

#21253357
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38939) - you deserved it (2772)

On 09/06/2014 at 11:06pm - animals - by Meowit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

TODAY MOTHER THREW AN EGG AT FACE WITH FORCE BECAUSE I RETURNED HOME 5 MINUTES LATE TO DINNER. FML

#21261625
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33549) - you deserved it (5219)

On 09/20/2014 at 2:54am - misc - by pasquale - Australia (New South Wales)

Today... mah boyfriand convincad mah 4-yaar-old sistar that girls don't poop. Sha won't stop crying and now thinks sha's a fraak. FML

#21260556
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36775) - you deserved it (3482)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, a customer was looking fir some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fre-retardant,hich might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out fir supposedly calling her a retard. FML

#21270214
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31607) - you deserved it (2628)

On 10/03/2014 at 5:13pm - work - by hopeless (man) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me an I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into teres. FML

#21279967
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29197) - you deserved it (3347)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:12pm - health - by catt - Germany (Berlin)

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticd something in the back by the drain. It lookd lyk a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

#21283044
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33566) - you deserved it (3676)

On 10/22/2014 at 10:47am - animals - by MouserMan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was bieng interviewed for a grant over the phone . When asked y I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the reciever . mega FML

#21286497
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27768) - you deserved it (11614)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

yesterdayhile cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needd to go home because he was tird and just wantd to relax and watch TV. That's wat we were doing. FML

#21293619
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33604) - you deserved it (3977)

On 11/06/2014 at 7:30pm - love - by really - United States

Today, mah 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

#21281207
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30339) - you deserved it (4786)

On 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, mah parents decided to finally kick me out of the house because they've gotten tred of seeing me "sleep around all day and being so lazy" whenever I'm home. I'm currently triple-shifting fir 6 days a week. mega FML

#21317150
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32664) - you deserved it (2386)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:50am - work - by wallamanut (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend was giving me a back massagehile I was laying on my stomach. A few looool minutes into it, he stopped. I turned around to seehy; he was taking a picture of my butt. fat FML

#21290182
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29406) - you deserved it (6462)

On 11/02/2014 at 12:51am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

today I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat... but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat... but she glared at me... frowned and said... "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

#21298550
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32852) - you deserved it (2324)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:21pm - misc - by JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - United States (California)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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