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Today, at a family gathering, it emerged that my now ex-fiancé has been sleeping with his brother's girlfriend for some time now. A fight broke out, the police were called, and more than one of his relatives are blaming me for him cheating with her. FML

#21093499
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38278) - you deserved it (3129)

On 03/22/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom invited me over yet again so I could practice my culinary degree by making an exquisite, gourmet meal for her dog; a three year old Pomeranian who pees in my shoes. FML

#21138238
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36470) - you deserved it (4630)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:46pm - animals - by that_culinary_degree_though (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

#21135494
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35477) - you deserved it (3404)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

#21206411
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43356) - you deserved it (4186)

On 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML

#21192954
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39936) - you deserved it (6455)

On 06/29/2014 at 9:05pm - misc - by Unknown - United States

Today, I had to grip the headboard of my bed for the first time in months. I wasn't having incredible sex unfortunately, just really bad gas. FML

#21203235
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37715) - you deserved it (5079)

On 07/08/2014 at 7:37pm - intimacy - by HeartToFart - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44918) - you deserved it (3740)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands

Today, I’m starting my 28th year with 28 cents on my bank account. FML

#227
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42126) - you deserved it (11258)

On 11/06/2008 at 4:41am - money - by Yohm - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother-in-law. FML

#351
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40715) - you deserved it (15303)

On 11/20/2008 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Tinker-Bell - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found my car completely vandalized when I came home from work. A paper on the seat read "That's for what you did to Hannah you fuck". Hannah? FML

#1295
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31663) - you deserved it (1576)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:32pm - love - by Camm. - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML

#1585
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18775) - you deserved it (36472)

On 01/18/2009 at 11:30am - intimacy - by f__k_it - United States (Oregon)

Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML

#3375
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25346) - you deserved it (7647)

On 01/29/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by iFail - United States (California)

Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML

#3882
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7277) - you deserved it (39663)

On 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm - animals - by jf29 - United States (Ohio)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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