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Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

#21302784
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32444) - you deserved it (3548)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

#21302695
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29256) - you deserved it (2271)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML

#21328540
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28288) - you deserved it (2772)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my wife and I drove two hours from our rural town to buy a new sofa. When we got home, it took us an hour to figure out there was no way to fit it through our door. We made the two hour drive back to return it, only to find the store was closed. FML

#21308507
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28508) - you deserved it (8863)

On 11/30/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by davy0540 - United States

Today, my parents decided to "discipline" my kitten by spraying her with water. This somehow managed to completely un-train her, and now she's back to being the compulsive biter she was when I first brought her home. FML

#21318466
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29162) - you deserved it (3068)

On 12/16/2014 at 10:01am - animals - by scars - United States (Illinois)

Today, I felt a painful lump on my jaw. After going on Google, I was convinced I either had an infected tooth or jaw cancer. In a panic, I rushed to the dentist and told the receptionist the problem. She pulled the dentist from an appointment, and he felt around my jaw. It was just a pimple. FML

#21346970
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13380) - you deserved it (23576)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:11pm - health - by not a cancerous pimple - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wisdom teeth decided to come in. I didn't know that being wise could hurt so much. FML

#234
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27487) - you deserved it (8544)

On 11/06/2008 at 8:39am - health - by little tooth - Sent from mobile version

Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML

#1305
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32904) - you deserved it (5969)

On 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)

Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML

#2324
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26370) - you deserved it (3791)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Nik - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, on my 18th birthday, my mom told me the man I thought was my father for 18 years was actually not my father, and my real father was in prison for murder. FML

#3036
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46822) - you deserved it (1782)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:42am - misc - by kiddo - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home to find that the entire ceiling in the kitchen of my apartment had caved in due to an extremely leaky water pipe. The same water pipe maintenance said they had fixed three days ago. FML

Today, I returned home from college and saw a framed picture of my parents and my younger sister on an elephant in an exotic jungle. I pointed to the picture and asked my mom, "Is this some photoshop job?" She responded, "No, we went to Thailand for a family trip, didn't we tell you?" FML

#86332
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70949) - you deserved it (3252)

On 02/20/2009 at 4:24am - misc - by OutoftheLoop (woman) - China (Beijing)



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