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Today, I got back to work from a 3 week vacation. My boss had asked me to get him something so when I returned I presented him with a shotglass with the British flag on it. I later found out that he is a recovering alcoholic. FML

#3826927
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37263) - you deserved it (6704)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:07am - work - by mrmatt008 (man) - France

Today, I was excited to see my ex-girlfriend. We had broken up while I was in Iraq and I wanted to try to get her back. I spent my first day back looking for a place to live while her and her new boyfriend got it on as I slept. I had chosen that apartment for us and paid for that bed. FML

#5364542
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36815) - you deserved it (5027)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:04am - love - by isuckatlyfe (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was helping my sister by getting some old boxes down from her attic. Too bad I didn't realize the piece of plywood I was standing on doesn't extend all over the attic floor. Of course, I did realize it when I went through the ceiling onto the concrete floor of her garage. FML

#3973992
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36023) - you deserved it (5123)

On 07/23/2009 at 7:45am - health - by SBT1030 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as I was coming out of the ladies' room, I saw a guy glancing at me. A few minutes later, I saw him coming at me at a fast rate. I decided to run from him. As I got out of the building and into a cab, I saw him from the window waving my phone at me. He was just trying to return it. FML

#5410009
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8259) - you deserved it (41853)

On 09/22/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by georgiana072 (woman) - Philippines (Benguet)

Today, I was at work, and some people came in looking for a particular couch. After looking for over an hour on the wholesalers website my boss walks over, makes me take my lunch break and then calls over the couple and takes all the credit for the sale. We work on commission. FML

#5267039
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38676) - you deserved it (2639)

On 09/15/2009 at 1:35am - work - by Backseatseller (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML

#5006277
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15303) - you deserved it (38203)

On 09/02/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by ooops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was leaving the mall. I Instinctively hit the unlock button on my car keys from across the parking lot. Little did I know I was making it a whole lot easier for the guy breaking into my car. FML

#4297641
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41024) - you deserved it (11751)

On 08/05/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was with my seven year old daughter purchasing my husband a present for his birthday in a few weeks. At the register, in the very long line, I asked her where we could hide his present so he wouldn't find it, she responded loudly with "Hide it in your room! He never goes in there!" FML

#5205091
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31115) - you deserved it (4311)

On 09/12/2009 at 11:31am - kids - by nosexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML

#4095368
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40584) - you deserved it (2199)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:11am - health - by swaiteATC (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I took my boyfriend out to meet my coworkers for the first time. I really wanted to impress them, and get them to think how cool we are to hang out with, since I am new to LA. Instead, my boyfriend threw up in my boss' sink. FML

#5570126
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26744) - you deserved it (4237)

On 09/30/2009 at 6:35pm - work - by never_ending_hangover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was flying home from LAX when I realized I left my ID back at the hotel. After making phone calls to the hotel and rental car company, I found it and made it back to the airport in time for my flight. After going through security, I realized I left my cell phone on the hotel counter. FML

#5903706
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12105) - you deserved it (31735)

On 10/19/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by LAXsucks (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that the only thing I learned from my first serious relationship was how to fake an orgasm. FML

#6024374
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18004) - you deserved it (4104)

On 10/27/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by kjirut (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML

#5875865
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35204) - you deserved it (6829)

On 10/18/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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