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Today, in class the guy next to me was talking to a girl across the room using gestures to help get across his message. Apparently, pointing at me is the best way to say "ugly." FML

#1979778
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48616) - you deserved it (3167)

On 05/16/2009 at 1:34pm - misc - by uglyguy252 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML

#2044978
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9239) - you deserved it (48514)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04am - work - by hipthrustdude (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was talking to my good friend's girlfriend. She mentioned being afraid of losing her job. Because she was still a teenager, I jokingly said, "oh, like you're responsible for a whole family." She is. FML

#3633751
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14038) - you deserved it (45784)

On 07/10/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Mezzlegasm (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was doing a fitness test. Though clumsy, I managed to spin around a bat then dash across a balance beam, run through some tires, and walk across a log floating in water. Pleased with my performance, I walked to the bathroom, tripped on my shoelace, and busted my head on the floor. FML

#1314307
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44612) - you deserved it (4876)

On 04/25/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by Clumsy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at my friends house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldnt see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML

#2714754
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36604) - you deserved it (6401)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I crapped in my pants and had to wait an hour of commuting till I could clean it up. What a sight and smell it was on the subway. Thank God I had sunglasses to wear. FML

#2443
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9686) - you deserved it (24862)

On 01/24/2009 at 1:56pm - love - by screwed - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

#13539
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17245) - you deserved it (29996)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:43pm - misc - by Snow (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while walking through the fragrance area in a shopping center a women behind me asked; "Excuse me miss, would you like to sample our new fragrance line." I'm a 19 year old male. I turned around expecting her to correct herself. She didn't. FML

#102493
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36311) - you deserved it (6045)

On 02/22/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by highlycontagious - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was doing a strip tease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML

#84789
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84472) - you deserved it (17630)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at their family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4-year old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say "You're fat! I like fat things." FML

#159579
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50273) - you deserved it (5093)

On 02/28/2009 at 5:52am - misc - by Judiee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML

#908452
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51963) - you deserved it (3272)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by NotRetarded (man) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML

#2177372
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39901) - you deserved it (11678)

On 05/22/2009 at 11:16am - misc - by Ouch (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

#5692433
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36874) - you deserved it (3511)

On 10/06/2009 at 10:07pm - animals - by gera3gera - United States (California)



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