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Today, I was sitting at the bar of a popular local restaurant. I sat there for a few hours and drank my sorrows away with the bartender. I thought she was pretty, and decided to give her a large tip. The tip sent me over my credit card limit, and the bartender is not single. FML

#7117686
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6503) - you deserved it (29504)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by halien1982 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, 'don't get naked in front of the TV.' FML

#7467691
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21005) - you deserved it (3733)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during a basketball game, I fell into metal chairs which then decided to fold in, causing me to fall to the floor in a very dramatic and painful fall. When I stood up, so did everyone else and they were all clapping, including the other team. FML

#7925072
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19677) - you deserved it (2942)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:25am - health - by aurorason - Sent from mobile version

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

#7278236
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25436) - you deserved it (3081)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was working as a clown (Pennywise) in a haunted maze. A bunch of drunk guys came in and started breaking props. I decided to stay still and follow through with the scare. I ended up getting kicked in a very sensitive area. The security guard just laughed. FML

#7899176
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23176) - you deserved it (3774)

On 02/05/2010 at 3:23am - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

#7967953
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32566) - you deserved it (3424)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:18am - work - by Ryan - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received an e-mail from the Unemployment Department saying they had a job referral for me. After excitedly reading the description, I realised it was the job I'd just been fired from (at a much higher pay). If I don't go through the application process, I will be denied my unemployment. FML

#8862243
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22855) - you deserved it (2173)

On 03/06/2010 at 2:28am - work - by AlyssaBC (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the couch. I got thirsty, so I got up and grabbed a metal water bottle and drank out of it. He tried to playfully touch it and spill water on me, but instead hit it hard enough to where it slammed my mouth, chipped my tooth, and cut open my lip. FML

#9179900
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27355) - you deserved it (3786)

On 03/18/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after doing a graveyard shift at work, I took the bus home. I fell asleep on the way and woke up 25 miles away from my bus stop. I took another bus heading back and couldn't stay awake. I then woke up where I started from. FML

#10707019
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28699) - you deserved it (12347)

On 05/23/2010 at 3:29am - work - by Around - United States (Florida)

Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML

#12294723
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10398) - you deserved it (127744)

On 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Emily (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while celebrating at my friend's birthday party, I fell down a flight of stairs, got into a fight with my flatmate, and ruined my friend's outfit after drinking too much. I'm expecting I'll need to find a new place to live tomorrow. FML

#9021553
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4868) - you deserved it (26378)

On 03/12/2010 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, I came back to my room and sat down at my desk to find pile short, curly hairs on it. Neither me or my roommate have curly hair, and it isn't mine. I think he trimmed his pubes over my desk and forgot to clean it up. FML

#9171257
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23859) - you deserved it (2484)

On 03/17/2010 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by pubes (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only 4 hours to go until I get off. FML

#13950658
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23435) - you deserved it (2077)

On 11/23/2010 at 3:53pm - work - by Username -



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