Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I submitted a poem for my English class. I had fun writing it, so I wrote a second which was not nearly as good. My procrastinator of a friend never did his, so I gave him my extra poem. Mine was given a 75% while "his" received a 93%. FML

#21431507
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22494) - you deserved it (8134)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by WhyIHateTeachers - United States (Florida)

Today, after frantically searching my house and office and calling every place I'd visited in the last 24 hours, I finally found my phone in my fridge. FML

#21402394
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (5956)

On 04/30/2015 at 2:48pm - work - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a woman came through drive-thru and placed a long order while screaming at her kids in back. When we forgot a doughnut, she became enraged, threw her iced coffees at me, told me I was a no-life and that I always get her order wrong. It's my first day and I was only giving her the order. FML

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29994) - you deserved it (3599)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

#21406740
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24650) - you deserved it (7104)

On 05/08/2015 at 11:44am - work - by pop, pop (man) - United States (California)

Today, after parking in the handicapped spot of a lot with my placard, an older couple with their 7-year-old grandchild came up and yelled at me for being a lying asshole and taking the parking spot. When I showed them my prosthetic leg, the kid started crying and guess who got yelled at again. FML

#21430208
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29588) - you deserved it (1261)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:46pm - health - by ICanExplain - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's dad helped me put coolant in my car. When I said I wished I could do something in return, he told me to get an abortion so I wouldn't "ruin" his son's life. When I told my boyfriend, he didn't believe me. FML

#21444969
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25929) - you deserved it (2295)

On 07/21/2015 at 11:17am - misc - by father-in-nope (woman) - United States (California)

Today, frustrated with my very energetic kids, I told them that if they dug a hole deep enough in the backyard, they'd find China. What they really found was the previous owner's dog. FML

#21419303
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28442) - you deserved it (7111)

On 06/01/2015 at 6:45pm - kids - by pheonixxe (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I took a nap. My boyfriend took this opportunity to go over to his "beautiful" and "amazing" ex-girlfriend's house to help her clean out her pool. I told him I didn't think that was appropriate. He told me I don't value relationships and didn't come home tonight. FML

#21429410
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23573) - you deserved it (2075)

On 06/21/2015 at 6:16am - love - by bev_rogan - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend came to my work, at a drive thru, in my car, and then got mad at me because I wouldn't give him free food. In his anger, he put my car in reverse and backed out of line very quickly, only to smash into a paying customer. FML

#21428964
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26337) - you deserved it (2336)

On 06/20/2015 at 6:45am - love - by ugh - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to explain to several young children why asking the new blind girl to play hide and seek with them is inappropriate. FML

#21439546
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25567) - you deserved it (2216)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, the girl I'm secretly in love with, whom I was talking to on MSN, told me she'd "brb in 10, no wait 20, oh make that 30 min" depending on her boyfriend's stamina. FML

#117
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63955) - you deserved it (8721)

On 10/28/2008 at 7:13am - intimacy - by loon - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

#303
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40212) - you deserved it (21480)

On 11/14/2008 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Kaji - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: