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Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

#20804901
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42917) - you deserved it (3391)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:55pm - misc - by trailertrashyanditsucks (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

#20819263
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42947) - you deserved it (6522)

On 08/03/2013 at 8:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

#20816873
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47969) - you deserved it (3064)

On 08/02/2013 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML

#20869864
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44831) - you deserved it (2680)

On 09/06/2013 at 2:42am - love - by thissinglelife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

#20859797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38484) - you deserved it (2588)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:11am - work - by Parental Support - United States (Maryland)

Today, while working as a cashier, a really cute guy came up and said, "Hi Morgan". I freaked out and asked him how he knew my name. He then replied, "You have a name tag". FML

#20874687
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31657) - you deserved it (17392)

On 09/09/2013 at 5:51pm - work - by anon -

Today, when I locked my newly repaired bike up, I carefully took the new rear light off it so that nobody could steal said light. Somebody stole my bike. At least I have a red light to play with. FML

#20936443
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36445) - you deserved it (3490)

On 10/28/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, the package I've waited for months for finally arrived. It turned out it wasn't for me, but for my sister, who bought the same thing only 2 weeks ago. When I called, the company told me they received my payment, but that there were no more of the item in stock. FML

#20946407
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40863) - you deserved it (2487)

On 11/05/2013 at 12:34pm - misc - by GDubeau24 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a wake. When my dad picked me up, I was still pretty upset. Just when I'd had enough of death, the car hits a raccoon on the way home. FML

#20980367
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34663) - you deserved it (4408)

On 12/04/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML

#20973400
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43453) - you deserved it (3175)

On 11/28/2013 at 6:41am - work - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my first job interview in months. Just minutes in, a sudden huge, uncontrollable sneeze overcame me. A wad of snot flew out onto my shirt, which I didn't even notice until the visibly disgusted interviewer pointed it out. FML

#20974690
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37560) - you deserved it (3389)

On 11/29/2013 at 1:08pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in the middle of an interview; it was going great until I started coughing. That coughing led to an asthma attack, which led to nonstop gagging. I couldn't even answer his final question, "Are you okay?" FML

#20990762
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39202) - you deserved it (2438)

On 12/12/2013 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

#20993322
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35020) - you deserved it (3034)

On 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by ANONYMOUS -_- (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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