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Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML

#1248987
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12070) - you deserved it (59376)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by notexactly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML

#1682300
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62405) - you deserved it (2989)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:52am - work - by Jay (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML

#1719751
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46044) - you deserved it (4055)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:15pm - work - by nojob (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on my last break, a lady comes up to me and asks if she could have a hug because I reminded her of her daughter that died in a car accident 3 years before. Touched, I called my mom to let her know that I loved her. Before I could tell her, she said it was probably a scam and hung up on me. FML

Today, my mother called me a bad son for not telling her "Happy Mother's Day". When I told her Mother's Day wasn't until the 10th, she said that I would have forgotten anyway. FML

#1749073
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50356) - you deserved it (2667)

On 05/08/2009 at 2:14pm - misc - by Aisu (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was running outside. On the last mile I am along side some fields. While running along the side of the road I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML

#2176338
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33829) - you deserved it (12880)

On 05/22/2009 at 10:08am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my former high school's homecoming game. A classmate who I always had a crush on looks up and goes "Brian!", holding her arms out for a hug. I hug her and she seems a bit suprised but hugs back anyway. I get up and see another Brian from our class behind me. Shame. FML

#5579977
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37606) - you deserved it (3824)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by Jusawkward - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was volunteering at the library. A kid came up and asked me to help him peel the back off his sticker. It took me so long the kid left. Determined, I still tried to peel it off. Fifteen minutes later, the librarian came over, looked once at it, and told me it wasn't a sticker. FML

#4484450
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10133) - you deserved it (37915)

On 08/12/2009 at 8:34pm - work - by librarygirl (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML

#5013667
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17515) - you deserved it (34926)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05am - work - by yogabbagabba (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my oldest son answered my phone call much to my surprise as we haven't spoken in a year. The first words out of his mouth were, "I didn't mean to pick up the phone." He then hung up. FML

#5764278
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33041) - you deserved it (8090)

On 10/10/2009 at 8:30pm - kids - by Jer (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to the realization that the 2-hour nap I wanted to take before I went out with my friends last night was actually a 12-hour nap. I missed everything. FML

#5579967
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13898) - you deserved it (31255)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by Ataraxia (man) - United States (California) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, my long-distance boyfriend was at my house for a 10-day visit. He told me that we'd never spent so much time together, so he didn't know me well and now, he'd finally met the "real me". He doesn't like it. FML

#4017197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38054) - you deserved it (8928)

On 07/24/2009 at 10:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, I invited everyone to a gig I'm playing at a bar. They closed it down just for me when I told them how many people were attending, and I spent all day setting it up. Turns out nobody showed up besides my mom, my dad, and 2 of my cousins. I still had to play 7 songs in front of them. FML

#4546975
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43105) - you deserved it (6202)

On 08/15/2009 at 11:02am - misc - by playinmyguitar (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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