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Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML

#6721141
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36167) - you deserved it (2560)

On 12/12/2009 at 10:47am - love - by 2ndchoice (woman) - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML

#6812305
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31391) - you deserved it (2159)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:46pm - health - by ThatAintLogical (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I realized that the cute freckle I noticed a few weeks ago is actually a giant blackhead. FML

#7034832
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10204) - you deserved it (22445)

On 12/30/2009 at 12:26pm - health - by baybuh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and realized I have experienced my first "nocturnal emission". I am a 24 year old male who has been married for 3 months. Guess who isn't getting any. FML

#7025515
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15126) - you deserved it (2542)

On 12/29/2009 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I recieved a phone call from a good guy friend of mine, someone I haven't seen for years. He tells me he has "deep" feelings for me, and wants to know since my husband is deployed, if it would be okay if we "dated" because he told his parents I'm his girlfriend. FML

#6821987
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31142) - you deserved it (2399)

On 12/19/2009 at 12:52am - love - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

#6824499
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32439) - you deserved it (2681)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw the girl I had confessed my love to two years ago on the bus. We chatted for a few minutes and she got off on the first stop, saying that this is where she had to get off. Twenty minutes later, I see her in the bus next to mine. The bus number was 20. Like mine. FML

#6917396
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24226) - you deserved it (4885)

On 12/24/2009 at 4:35am - love - by busrides (man) - United States (California)

Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML

#7124600
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26260) - you deserved it (5810)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:28am - health - by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming (man) - United States (California)

Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML

#7366734
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4479) - you deserved it (34100)

On 01/15/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by mah (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out that you need to clean your car more often when you find a mouldy burrito under the back seat. FML

#7560337
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4827) - you deserved it (30710)

On 01/25/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, after wondering why I've never met my father, I asked my mom if I was the product of a one night stand. She replied with, "Well, technically he didn't spend the night." FML

#13927499
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28100) - you deserved it (3167)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, at work I asked a woman how she was doing. When she replied, I didn't understand her, and instead of asking her what she said, I just replied with, "oh that's good." What she told me that I didn't understand was that her husband had just died. FML

#13383180
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8741) - you deserved it (29220)

On 10/09/2010 at 8:51pm - work - by fistpumpin4life - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML

#13287186
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35811) - you deserved it (2701)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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