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Today, my boss refused to give me vacation time for my wedding and honeymoon because she didn't have a honeymoon and because of that apparently neither should I. FML

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29648) - you deserved it (3160)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

#21349488
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30019) - you deserved it (2435)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:44am - misc - by Sprinkles (man) - Australia

Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular clothes. Everyone said they loved my costume. FML

#21373989
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24894) - you deserved it (17874)

On 03/13/2015 at 6:39pm - misc - by jking2z (man) - United States

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

Today, I arrived at work to find out someone had signed me up to a dating site. Apparently, my inability to speak to women has reached "boss level". Quite literally, as my boss was the one who signed me up. FML

#21380719
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26941) - you deserved it (2919)

On 03/24/2015 at 1:09pm - love - by ctmoto77 - United States (California)

Today, at the restaurant I work at, my own mom refused to give a tip and complained to my boss. FML

#21390474
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31660) - you deserved it (3071)

On 04/09/2015 at 3:55am - work - by jackzz - Vietnam (Dac Lac)

Today, I finally got my 14-year-old son to aim while using the bathroom. If only I could get my husband to do the same. FML

#21404795
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21691) - you deserved it (2152)

On 05/04/2015 at 10:03pm - kids - by JustSom - United States (Virginia)

Today, someone at work took my delicate medication out of the fridge to make room for their lunch. Now my medication has expired. FML

#21402350
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28962) - you deserved it (2196)

On 04/30/2015 at 1:33pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Limavady)

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

#303
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40121) - you deserved it (21428)

On 11/14/2008 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Kaji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried demonstrate to my little brother that, unlike what he sees in cartoons, it is impossible to slip on a banana peel. I'm not too sure he's convinced. FML

#336
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8568) - you deserved it (33196)

On 11/18/2008 at 10:44pm - kids - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, my philosophy teacher asked me about my parents. I replied that my mum was a cleaner and my dad was a bus driver. In an astonished voice, she said, "But, you're clever..." FML

#434
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31776) - you deserved it (2012)

On 12/02/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by lamb-chop - Sent from mobile version

Today, I met a girl who had a deeper voice than I do. FML

#2119
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18854) - you deserved it (3528)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by Daryll - United States (California)



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