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Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML

#8394792
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22354) - you deserved it (4128)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:07am - love - by loveless - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I ran 5 miles to catch the bus I take to university after missing my connection. When I got to the bus stop, I realized I had left my U-Pass on my desk at home. On top of the assignment that was due. FML

#7493259
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21974) - you deserved it (7499)

On 01/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by noooooo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

#7493708
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26713) - you deserved it (5065)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by jazz - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother woke me up at 4:30 A.M. to tell me our dog was running down the street. I ran for an hour, chasing after her. Turns out it was our new neighbor's dog. Ours was in our basement. FML

#7396048
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24494) - you deserved it (3602)

On 01/17/2010 at 10:18am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattress. After realizing the bed was squeaking, I heard my dad laughing very hard from the basement. He thought I was masturbating. FML

#7348405
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10627) - you deserved it (16483)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by nooneatall - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was taking a warm shower when someone in my house flushed the toilet, making the shower extremely hot. In my rush to get out so I wouldn't get burned, I slipped and knocked a tooth out. FML

#7321633
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29791) - you deserved it (3792)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:40pm - misc - by soccercrazed1520 - Sent from mobile version

Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML

#7366734
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4468) - you deserved it (34053)

On 01/15/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by mah (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

#7492284
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8617) - you deserved it (19422)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Toldyouso (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got into my first car accident. I hit my own parked car while trying to drive my mother's car into the garage. FML

#14207405
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8190) - you deserved it (23421)

On 12/14/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by dumbass (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to purchase a new flat screen TV for the bar I work at. Last night I was dared to break an ashtray against the wall. I completely missed the wall and smashed the screen of the new TV they bought last month. FML

#13843946
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5106) - you deserved it (41324)

On 11/14/2010 at 7:23pm - money - by ellebelle (woman) - United States

Today, on the way home from a night out, I crossed the main road in my town via the traffic lights. As I got to the other side, a guy turned to his two friends and 'whispered' with a look of disgust, "I would have run that one over." Thanks. FML

#8580880
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21156) - you deserved it (2317)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by thetallone (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, after wondering why I've never met my father, I asked my mom if I was the product of a one night stand. She replied with, "Well, technically he didn't spend the night." FML

#13927499
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28044) - you deserved it (3163)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML

#14296001
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23828) - you deserved it (12205)

On 12/22/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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