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Today, my friend paypal'd me some money to tide me over until my school loans come through. For a transaction description, he wrote "to get back in that pussy game." It got red flagged, and I had to talk with three female customer service agents before it went through. FML

#2397904
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38599) - you deserved it (4001)

On 05/29/2009 at 9:15am - money - by Jordan (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I see my dad on a bike so I shout after him. He turns his head around and then runs into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML

#2028672
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18710) - you deserved it (32074)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:35pm - misc - by Richocet - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to be the sober housemate for the first time in a while. I drove my drunk friends to the bar and back and even bought them pizza before they passed out in the living room. I get repaid by catching my wasted housemate in my room peeing all over my floor, bed, and nightstand. FML

#1415880
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52260) - you deserved it (7697)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by fuckmylife (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML

#3096278
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36867) - you deserved it (4806)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:41pm - animals - by FML (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, in class the guy next to me was talking to a girl across the room using gestures to help get across his message. Apparently, pointing at me is the best way to say "ugly." FML

#1979778
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48560) - you deserved it (3163)

On 05/16/2009 at 1:34pm - misc - by uglyguy252 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML

#2044978
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9220) - you deserved it (48473)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04am - work - by hipthrustdude (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was talking to my good friend's girlfriend. She mentioned being afraid of losing her job. Because she was still a teenager, I jokingly said, "oh, like you're responsible for a whole family." She is. FML

#3633751
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14017) - you deserved it (45731)

On 07/10/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Mezzlegasm (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was doing a fitness test. Though clumsy, I managed to spin around a bat then dash across a balance beam, run through some tires, and walk across a log floating in water. Pleased with my performance, I walked to the bathroom, tripped on my shoelace, and busted my head on the floor. FML

#1314307
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44559) - you deserved it (4872)

On 04/25/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by Clumsy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I crapped in my pants and had to wait an hour of commuting till I could clean it up. What a sight and smell it was on the subway. Thank God I had sunglasses to wear. FML

#2443
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9629) - you deserved it (24744)

On 01/24/2009 at 1:56pm - love - by screwed - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

#13539
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17224) - you deserved it (29961)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:43pm - misc - by Snow (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while walking through the fragrance area in a shopping center a women behind me asked; "Excuse me miss, would you like to sample our new fragrance line." I'm a 19 year old male. I turned around expecting her to correct herself. She didn't. FML

#102493
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36255) - you deserved it (6044)

On 02/22/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by highlycontagious - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was doing a strip tease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML

#84789
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84402) - you deserved it (17621)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that the beef jerky someone had left on the counter and that I'd been sneaking a few pieces of every morning had a cartoon dog holding two strips of beef jerky. I wondered why nobody else was eating it. It was beef jerky for dogs. FML

#94421
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7790) - you deserved it (44569)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:44am - animals - by Chubsley (man) - United States (Virginia)



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