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Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

#3821769
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33239) - you deserved it (7352)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:36am - intimacy - by Cyberella (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, was my mom's birthday. I recently got my first job, thanks to her, and could finally afford to buy her something nice. I spent my first paycheck ever on buying her a very nice bracelet. She said it was nice, then asked if I would mind if she exchanged it for one she actually liked. FML

#5826147
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23996) - you deserved it (3691)

On 10/14/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by mybmw (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML

#4880765
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45516) - you deserved it (1982)

On 08/28/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by wtfman101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I was denied for work study eligibility by my college. I went to my financial advisor to ask why. It wasn't my grades or attendance. Apparently my father makes too much money for me to get a job at the school. My dad was fired 3 months ago and has been out of work since. FML

#5096534
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34535) - you deserved it (1919)

On 09/07/2009 at 1:04am - work - by SapphireRaven (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was baby sitting my little cousin when we decided to go outside and have a "treasure hunt" in the backyard. The first thing we found? The bones of her pet dog that had passed away four years ago. FML

#4252043
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34827) - you deserved it (4854)

On 08/03/2009 at 9:26am - animals - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I noticed a spot of water on the floor. I thought my cats had spilled a cup of water and didn't worry about it. I went to a meeting and when I came back, my entire apartment was flooded with 3 inches of water. FML

#6038699
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26704) - you deserved it (5904)

On 10/28/2009 at 11:57am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my father taught my son to pee on trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML

#4199907
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35623) - you deserved it (5257)

On 08/01/2009 at 2:35am - kids - by jcesom (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, at work, a customer called in and asked me to read off every item on our menu, along with their ingredients. I work at Jamba Juice so that's a lot of reading. After about 10 minutes of this, I found out it was actually my stupid co-worker calling from the back phone. FML

#3848671
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34799) - you deserved it (8833)

On 07/18/2009 at 1:45am - work - by Rawf (man) - United States (California)

Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML

#4708502
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32275) - you deserved it (1971)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by whoababy55 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when all of the sudden I woke up in the hospital, with my dad sitting next to the bed. Apparently, I was hit with a foul ball. He kept the ball for himself. FML

#5492768
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28853) - you deserved it (2367)

On 09/26/2009 at 8:40pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML

#3793812
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34937) - you deserved it (4492)

On 07/16/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by joking0303 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, on a plane I was showing my brother the life jackets kept under the seat. After pulling on what I thought was the lifejacket, I then realized that they were kept in the arm rest to my right and for the last five minutes I had been pulling on the foot of the man who was sitting behind me. FML

#4826792
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7936) - you deserved it (33547)

On 08/26/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of an exam, I was escorted out by the campus police due to suspicion of a concealed weapon. The officers couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes when they found out the weapon was metal knitting needles. FML

#5710708
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25049) - you deserved it (2526)

On 10/07/2009 at 8:38pm - misc - by dangerousknitter (woman) - United States (California)



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