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Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML

#17735625
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22183) - you deserved it (3564)

On 09/13/2011 at 10:48am - health - by .. - United States (Florida)

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22712) - you deserved it (7200)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom told me that she rather wait for the city bus all day, than allow me to give her a ride. FML

#20052248
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15885) - you deserved it (3096)

On 09/01/2012 at 9:58am - misc - by Chucho - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML

#19366702
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6063) - you deserved it (24127)

On 03/28/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by Cass - Australia

Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the back-rest fell apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to "stop fucking about." FML

#19598076
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19971) - you deserved it (1728)

On 05/09/2012 at 4:10pm - work - by dan (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML

#19820336
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20093) - you deserved it (3390)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:27pm - misc - by punchedhelper (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML

#20182071
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7921) - you deserved it (28019)

On 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm - work - by jkmartinjk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was pulled over and administered a sobriety test due to an officer's suspicion that I was driving under the influence. I was completely sober, and, apparently, I suck at driving. FML

#20401642
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18668) - you deserved it (10483)

On 12/16/2012 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my father tried to secretly follow me all day, because he doesn't believe that I have any "real" errands to run or friends to meet with. He's actually convinced that I'm living some secret double life with another family. FML

#20022416
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20286) - you deserved it (1366)

On 08/15/2012 at 11:15am - misc - by Bree - United States

Today, my boss bitched at me because my body language "indicates that you don't enjoy doing your job". I just have scoliosis. FML

#19972077
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23571) - you deserved it (1384)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:50am - work - by c - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my intoxicated husband asked my very conservative parents how their sex life is now that all the kids are out of the house. FML

#20088791
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24302) - you deserved it (2809)

On 09/25/2012 at 9:48pm - intimacy - by kiwi2323 (woman) - United States

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

#20096305
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19470) - you deserved it (1677)

On 10/01/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Prae - United States (Texas)

Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML

#20202076
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24456) - you deserved it (2066)

On 12/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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