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Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

#15203420
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27384) - you deserved it (10166)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

#17602935
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29946) - you deserved it (3574)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:41am - misc - by piercingfreak (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my mom used "happy Thanksgiving break" and "we sold your car" in the same sentence. FML

#18318800
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25189) - you deserved it (2014)

On 11/22/2011 at 5:36pm - misc - by laststand11 -

Today, I finally got over the knee injury that has been holding back my military application for 6 months. They sent me to the optometrist, who said my eyes were too bad for service. FML

#17503246
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28154) - you deserved it (2727)

On 08/17/2011 at 8:23pm - health - by sadface (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I managed to get locked inside a caravan toilet. My relatives heard me having a panic attack and instead of unlocking the door, they called the neighbours over to enjoy my anguish and embarrassment. FML

#17627414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21684) - you deserved it (2558)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:34am - misc - by RhuLynette - United Kingdom

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

#16322705
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26584) - you deserved it (3391)

On 05/24/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my mom confessed that she has to make up compliments to give to prove me wrong when I said she can never say positive things about me. FML

#16053231
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22480) - you deserved it (2975)

On 05/05/2011 at 2:13am - misc - by wow -

Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML

#19178854
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25022) - you deserved it (1942)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:41pm - work - by corey - United States

Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML

#16479065
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26326) - you deserved it (3086)

On 06/03/2011 at 2:25am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML

#17845071
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21081) - you deserved it (2394)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:18am - work - by CathyM - United States (Virginia)

Today, while volunteering at a local homeless shelter, I asked the woman next to me how long she'd been homeless. She works there. FML

#19655540
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19970) - you deserved it (9623)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:28am - work - by HomelessGirl1 - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was working at a retirement center, when an old woman came to me and asked if I would like her old clothes. I politely said, "I'm sorry, but I'm a guy." She then said, "You could have just said no, instead of rudely lying to me." FML

#16380790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34359) - you deserved it (4037)

On 05/28/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by Imaman - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out my landlord is too cheap to turn up the hot water tank enough to have a comfortable shower. There's a huge padlock on the door, she won't budge, and I'm signed in until December. FML

#17962852
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21006) - you deserved it (2027)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:05pm - misc - by frigid - (Alberta)



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