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Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years had proposed to his ex a few days behind and she had declined. FML

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

#6695644
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31178) - you deserved it (5157)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML

#6838088
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21334) - you deserved it (3826)

On 12/19/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by omglifee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

#6857935
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27769) - you deserved it (2920)

On 12/21/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by goblue (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I talked myself out of buying $1 candle at the Dollar Tree. That's how broke I am. FML

#7273042
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34167) - you deserved it (4112)

On 01/11/2010 at 2:20am - money - by Pauper (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I lost my job because I was doing my work too quickly, getting too much done and the supervisor was afraid I was bored. I have only been here for 3 weeks and already had the best stats on the team. FML

#7445889
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31912) - you deserved it (2179)

On 01/19/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my long term ex, who broke up with me over a year ago and shattered my heart, seduced me (which wasn't hard as he knew I still had feelings for him) and as he pulled out after the couple of minutes of what he called sex, he used the line "There we go, that's your freebie." FML

#7406079
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10651) - you deserved it (20447)

On 01/17/2010 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by misshb (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML

#13998291
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30718) - you deserved it (13960)

On 11/27/2010 at 10:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I helped a "blind" man across the street. He kindly said thank you and patted me on the back. Then, I went into a store and realized my wallet was missing. FML

#8840238
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27149) - you deserved it (3072)

On 03/05/2010 at 2:50am - misc - by whyymee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a marriage proposal at work from a 70 year old man covered in dirt from head to toe, who offered to be my "sugar daddy." I guess I have options after all. FML

#13742971
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26793) - you deserved it (2895)

On 11/06/2010 at 8:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

#8758514
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24064) - you deserved it (2815)

On 03/01/2010 at 9:24pm - love - by pizzafaceinc (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to send him a pic of myself being happy for his phone's caller ID. So I picked out a picture where I'm grinning a big grin, clearly very happy like he asked. He replies back, "You look weird there. Send a pretty one." FML

#8507501
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23790) - you deserved it (4739)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by weirdo - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML

#14139817
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33962) - you deserved it (3818)

On 12/09/2010 at 4:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - France



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