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Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular clothes. Everyone said they loved my costume. FML

#21373989
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25473) - you deserved it (18263)

On 03/13/2015 at 6:39pm - misc - by jking2z (man) - United States

Today, I mentioned to my mum that one of my friends is pregnant. She decided I was lying, that I'm the one who's actually pregnant, and that I'm going to get checked out by a doctor. FML

#21379171
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29833) - you deserved it (2497)

On 03/21/2015 at 10:27pm - health - by ellabellabooboo - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I walked 20 minutes in rain, winds that almost knocked me over, and face-fulls of stinging hailstones. Less than a minute after I finally got inside, the weather cleared up, the sun came out, and a rainbow appeared. FML

#21367104
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31256) - you deserved it (2891)

On 03/03/2015 at 5:41am - misc - by Banana_Lord - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

#21401720
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30525) - you deserved it (3066)

On 04/29/2015 at 12:06pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, at an important statewide band performance, my mom stayed in her seat, silent, while everyone else gave a standing ovation. FML

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26510) - you deserved it (2534)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML

#21392608
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28728) - you deserved it (4041)

On 04/12/2015 at 9:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

#21396178
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27583) - you deserved it (7300)

On 04/19/2015 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that maggots can live inside of a saxophone. FML

#21406781
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27459) - you deserved it (3728)

On 05/08/2015 at 1:40pm - misc - by McWhopper - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized out how sad my love life is when I got excited that the number a girl gave me turned out to really be hers. FML

#21417861
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28153) - you deserved it (2740)

On 05/30/2015 at 1:40am - love - by L_lives (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was choking on a popcorn kernel at the movie theater. Nobody helped me. The workers in there told me to leave because I was "disrupting the audience". FML

Today, a dog bit me on the bus. Instead of apologising, its owner said it was my fault because my hands "must smell of meat". I'm a vegetarian. FML



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