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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML

#17614245
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24793) - you deserved it (2909)

On 08/29/2011 at 6:05pm - work - by dck128 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I stopped to help a stranded motorist. I yelled out my window, "Hey do you need a hand?" The guy was just standing beside his car taking a piss. FML

#16355450
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30347) - you deserved it (6641)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:06am - misc - by Emoney1 - Canada

Today, I got a call from a creditor asking for a Sarah. I told them that I'm not Sarah, nor do I know one. They then asked if she was my wife. Annoyed, I said, "Alright, when did I get a wife? I don't even remember having a girlfriend." They sniggered and hung up. FML

#17175800
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28666) - you deserved it (7225)

On 07/19/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Miriden - United States

Today, while driving to work in heavy traffic, I got so into the song I was listening to that I tapped my foot on the gas to the beat. I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#18963505
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8203) - you deserved it (46214)

On 01/31/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a relaxing night watching movies with my room-mates. Everyone but I had a girl over to lie with during the movie. The closest I got all night was the multiple times my room-mate's dog tried to mount me. FML

#18118791
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30905) - you deserved it (3768)

On 10/31/2011 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Hollywoodanonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I had a bunch of friends over for a party. My mom came stumbling into my room, crying about how she was officially menopausal, and that I was going to "die an only child." FML

#17687810
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27554) - you deserved it (2181)

On 09/07/2011 at 11:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, still suffering from an eye infection, I received a customer complaint. Having red eyes, asking how a patron's day went, and thanking them as they left my register obviously means that I must be stoned out of my mind. Apparently I've moved to a city where you must be on drugs if you're nice. FML

#18037491
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27982) - you deserved it (2381)

On 10/21/2011 at 8:10am - work - by Customer Stonage Representative - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandfather proudly informed me that the dump he'd just took looked like a tiger claw. He announced this during dinner, and told us not to flush it until he could take a picture. FML

#19369431
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23144) - you deserved it (1997)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by a - United States

Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML

#17584305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26447) - you deserved it (3976)

On 08/26/2011 at 6:41am - love - by the girlfriend (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML

#19667338
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27405) - you deserved it (2383)

On 05/23/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by alexo - United States

Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML

#19106281
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29780) - you deserved it (1919)

On 02/18/2012 at 9:20am - health - by AnastasiyaNicholas - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML

#19120522
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8535) - you deserved it (31370)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by OhMyWhitney - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a parking fine for $147. My car isn't even worth that much. FML

#19045980
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24970) - you deserved it (7405)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:03am - money - by jam - Australia



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