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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while my friend and I signed the guest-book at a wedding, the drunk guy at our table stole my friend's painkillers and car keys before getting into a cab. Didn't need the painkillers, definitely needed the keys. FML

#13259965
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22061) - you deserved it (2597)

On 09/30/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by strandedguest (woman) - United States

Today, my ballet teacher decided to tell us, in detail, about the nasty staph infection she has on her boob. The whole time, she was scratching it. FML

#13895610
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28496) - you deserved it (2551)

On 11/19/2010 at 1:07am - health - by fightingkittens (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

#11848419
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11084) - you deserved it (37072)

On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)

Today, at work, my boss and I went upstairs to storage. We got in the elevator, I pressed the 2nd floor button, and it didn't move so I repeatedly pressed the button. It wasn't until the 5th press that I realized we were already on the 2nd floor. She thought I was an idiot. FML

#13452838
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6907) - you deserved it (24284)

On 10/14/2010 at 11:03pm - work - by edodge (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out the animal that was gnawing behind the kitchen wall all night was indeed a wild rat and his entire family. FML

#14120407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22107) - you deserved it (2437)

On 12/07/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by rattness (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML

#14006967
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31599) - you deserved it (3803)

On 11/28/2010 at 1:02am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

#13041055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22573) - you deserved it (2890)

On 09/13/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by IHateMyJob - United States

Today, my fiancé ended our engagement, saying he wanted to have "one last quickie" for the road. He saw nothing wrong with that. FML

#14787217
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31994) - you deserved it (3703)

On 01/31/2011 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the girl I really liked started talking to me, so I asked her out on a date. After waiting an hour at the theatre, I texted her asking where she was. She replied with, "Oh! You were serious about the date?!" FML

#14621087
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35801) - you deserved it (3227)

On 01/18/2011 at 12:05am - love - by MCKilllerrr - United States (Texas)

Today, lice were found in my hair. At the hair salon. I'm now banned from that salon. FML

#15000870
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26428) - you deserved it (10697)

On 02/16/2011 at 9:26am - health - by mojolady -

Today, my step-mom asked if I was having some eating issues. I admitted that maybe I've picked up some bad habits from friends and school. Now she won't stop bombarding me with self-help books and therapy websites. FML

#14548248
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9216) - you deserved it (20170)

On 01/11/2011 at 8:04pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my son and I attended my mother's funeral. It was the first time he'd been to such an event, so to ease his grief and distract him, I turned on Max and Ruby when we got home. He quickly broke into tears; apparently, it was the episode where Max and Ruby prepare their grandma a special birthday gift. FML

#14950396
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32060) - you deserved it (4508)

On 02/12/2011 at 1:57pm - misc - by sadcartoons (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was telling my friend how lonely I am on Skype. He responded by deleting me as a friend. FML

#15392908
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30412) - you deserved it (10149)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:52am - love - by changeddaily (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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