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Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

#6098895
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33419) - you deserved it (2978)

On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML

#6286266
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19142) - you deserved it (12064)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:53am - misc - by teepee - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I asked my boss for my first raise in almost two years, to which he replied, "In the real world, I think you've definitely earned one, but this isn't the real world." FML

#6115466
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31092) - you deserved it (1897)

On 11/02/2009 at 4:03am - work - by fmyjob (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after a trip to my doctor I found out that my recent mood swings and hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year old guy. FML

#6200798
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34905) - you deserved it (1979)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:38pm - health - by oldlady (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I used the same credit card to apply to college and pay for a rave ticket. My card went through on the rave ticket but denied the college application fee. I guess my credit card is trying to tell me something about my future. FML

#6490055
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21923) - you deserved it (9164)

On 11/28/2009 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML

#6933705
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21502) - you deserved it (3383)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

#6844162
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22325) - you deserved it (10129)

On 12/20/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by kat, ACT - United States

Today, my husband left me for one of the college students I was tutoring in Spanish. We have two kids and are expecting a third. He left a note that said he would "stay in touch." FML

#7028465
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40558) - you deserved it (2351)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:03am - love - by Leslie (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after buying over $300 worth of food and alcohol, I found out all my friends aren't coming to my New Years party but headed to the BIG party at the local club. The one which I sold my ticket to after my friends convinced me to throw a party instead. FML

#7041342
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29401) - you deserved it (2546)

On 12/30/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by 20 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I submitted my application to a restaurant as a server. The manager, who is more than 30 years older than me, said he'd be calling me. He later texted me asking for a date instead of giving me a job. FML

#6894646
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24574) - you deserved it (1818)

On 12/23/2009 at 12:03am - work - by Chris (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was rejected for a job I really wanted, they said I didn't have enough experience. I designed the systems they are implementing. FML

#7158540
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33379) - you deserved it (1680)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:16am - work - by Me - France

Today, I did my workout at the gym instead of at home as I usually do, since I'm paranoid about people seeing up my shorts. I told myself to get over it, because it's impossible. After my extensive workout, I realized that there was a hole in the crotch of my shorts. FML

#7199308
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21944) - you deserved it (9209)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

#7130565
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24920) - you deserved it (5694)

On 01/03/2010 at 6:59pm - misc - by jumpy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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