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Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML

#21225648
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40500) - you deserved it (6505)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:51am - health - by jogginglikeitsmyjob (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up, only to find my Xbox missing. Thankfully I have a security camera discreetly wired up in the tree on my lawn. Checking the tapes, I saw my brother park outside my house, let himself in with his spare key, then drive off with my missing equipment. FML

#21303975
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31524) - you deserved it (2714)

On 11/22/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in a restaurant bathroom, when another girl walked in. I have anxiety issues, and couldn't leave my stall until the other person went first. She rushed into a stall and had violent diarrhea for a good 10 minutes. FML

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

#21212849
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42482) - you deserved it (6841)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by familyhatesme - United States (Washington)

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

#21277425
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33068) - you deserved it (4462)

On 10/14/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by longdrive - United States (California)

Today, after two years, my girlfriend finally got over her intimacy and commitment problems, with a guy she met over the summer. FML

#21310086
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33413) - you deserved it (2712)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:59pm - love - by Summer Loving Happened So Fast - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

#21337828
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23539) - you deserved it (15087)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my date bumped into her ex-husband, who decided to join us for the rest of the dinner. FML

#21352274
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32867) - you deserved it (2374)

On 02/08/2015 at 7:19pm - love - by jimmy_poison - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML

#21361049
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27947) - you deserved it (2982)

On 02/22/2015 at 1:21pm - money - by HaliMali (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to pick up two girls by asking them what time it was. They burst out laughing. FML

#38
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15069) - you deserved it (49130)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - love - by SweeT -

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

#303
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40023) - you deserved it (21400)

On 11/14/2008 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Kaji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried demonstrate to my little brother that, unlike what he sees in cartoons, it is impossible to slip on a banana peel. I'm not too sure he's convinced. FML

#336
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8318) - you deserved it (32600)

On 11/18/2008 at 10:44pm - kids - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, my philosophy teacher asked me about my parents. I replied that my mum was a cleaner and my dad was a bus driver. In an astonished voice, she said, "But, you're clever..." FML

#434
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31692) - you deserved it (2009)

On 12/02/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by lamb-chop - Sent from mobile version



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