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Today, I announced to my friends that my grandmother is dying. My best friend pulled out his phone and casually announced, "Technically, everyone is dying." FML

#21354746
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28323) - you deserved it (2760)

On 02/12/2015 at 2:16pm - health - by Dartfrogger - United States (Utah)

Today, I received a panicked email from one of my university students on my course on Russian history, stating that he'd "always thought Stalin was fake, like the moon landing". FML

#21346676
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25292) - you deserved it (1898)

On 01/30/2015 at 5:51am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML

#21353961
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35960) - you deserved it (3450)

On 02/11/2015 at 8:39am - misc - by TJFuentes (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML

#21350431
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24888) - you deserved it (15064)

On 02/05/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by gumchuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

#21349488
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30085) - you deserved it (2441)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:44am - misc - by Sprinkles (man) - Australia

Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular clothes. Everyone said they loved my costume. FML

#21373989
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24968) - you deserved it (17911)

On 03/13/2015 at 6:39pm - misc - by jking2z (man) - United States

Today, I mentioned to my mum that one of my friends is pregnant. She decided I was lying, that I'm the one who's actually pregnant, and that I'm going to get checked out by a doctor. FML

#21379171
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29831) - you deserved it (2496)

On 03/21/2015 at 10:27pm - health - by ellabellabooboo - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I walked 20 minutes in rain, winds that almost knocked me over, and face-fulls of stinging hailstones. Less than a minute after I finally got inside, the weather cleared up, the sun came out, and a rainbow appeared. FML

#21367104
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31256) - you deserved it (2891)

On 03/03/2015 at 5:41am - misc - by Banana_Lord - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

#21401720
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30524) - you deserved it (3066)

On 04/29/2015 at 12:06pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, at an important statewide band performance, my mom stayed in her seat, silent, while everyone else gave a standing ovation. FML

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26505) - you deserved it (2534)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML

#21392608
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28728) - you deserved it (4041)

On 04/12/2015 at 9:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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