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Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML

#8047035
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25534) - you deserved it (7091)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:26am - health - by mynameislor - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I liked for years asked me out. I instantly said yes. As I was walking away, I forgot I was at the top of the stairs and fell down 20 steps. He stood at the top and laughed. FML

#8837679
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25653) - you deserved it (5920)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:24am - love - by harro101 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of two years told his friend that he decided a long time ago that he would never be faithful to a woman. I was sitting next to him. FML

#13496771
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31220) - you deserved it (3202)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:23am - love - by sugar - United States (Texas)

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

#14211006
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32292) - you deserved it (8425)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -

Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML

#13825613
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32393) - you deserved it (2936)

On 11/13/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by blueheron93 (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML

#13813299
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27705) - you deserved it (6101)

On 11/12/2010 at 9:06am - love - by Samipearl - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML

#8902353
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22838) - you deserved it (2457)

On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML

#14445248
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32707) - you deserved it (3740)

On 01/02/2011 at 11:14pm - misc - by Kristin (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was walking into my apartment building, a douchebag leaned out his truck window and yelled, "HOW MUCH FOR A BJ?" He then pulled into a spot near my car. Apparently I have a charming new neighbor. FML

#14055521
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31685) - you deserved it (2748)

On 12/02/2010 at 12:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while on the bus, I began to fall asleep. Suddenly, a man next to me started laughing very loudly, scaring me and jolting me out from my nap. I was so scared, I reflexively punched the girl in front of me in the face. I was pinned down by three other men while the cops were called. FML

#13645028
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26792) - you deserved it (9839)

On 10/30/2010 at 12:52am - misc - by snoozlagist (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML

#8993130
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20786) - you deserved it (4552)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:50am - intimacy - by StretchNuts - United States

Today, a group of carolers was coming up my street, so I went out in the cold to wait for them. When they finally arrived, I waved and greeted them. They huddled up discussing something while pointing at me, then skipped my house. FML

#14306647
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27573) - you deserved it (4715)

On 12/23/2010 at 2:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML

#13082882
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33804) - you deserved it (3338)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



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