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Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

Today, my girlfriend came home with new condoms: Manix Endurance containing a numbing gel designed to help me "last longer". FML

#359
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33574) - you deserved it (9659)

On 11/21/2008 at 11:03pm - intimacy - by CoCo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML

#756
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22173) - you deserved it (5264)

On 11/12/2008 at 10:01pm - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

#4121
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28736) - you deserved it (4913)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Lars - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML

#4601
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29240) - you deserved it (3058)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:41am - work - by sportskidguru - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked past a girl in the cafeteria and she threw up. Naturally, a crowd was drawn. Her friend asked her what was wrong. She pointed at me and said, "Get him away from me!" I had never met this girl. FML

#7894
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39893) - you deserved it (2201)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by disgusting (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got an email from the local D and D meet up group that the next meeting will be on Feb. 14th. I don't know what is more sad: that the group is meeting on Valentine's Day, or that I have nothing better to do but go. FML

#5128
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24654) - you deserved it (3890)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:41am - love - by Noname - United States (Alabama)

Today, I realized that I know more about Paris Hilton's cervix than how my government is run. FML

#6894
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6431) - you deserved it (34646)

On 02/03/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by parishiltonsbff (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the car with a group of my girl friends discussing sexual experiences when I looked down and realized my Blackberry had dialed the family I babysit for and had left a five minute voicemail. FML

#22263
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44119) - you deserved it (15323)

On 02/10/2009 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML

#34306
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34692) - you deserved it (7695)

On 02/12/2009 at 10:52pm - misc - by yerface - United States (Texas)

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

#35910
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27375) - you deserved it (34748)

On 02/13/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Kulcha (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML

#60508
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10088) - you deserved it (39153)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by silkytaco - United States (Hawaii)

Today, everyone at school was talking about some guy that did another girl while he was going out with someone. I started to spread the rumor myself, until someone told me that that guy was my boyfriend. The other girl was my best friend. FML

#125458
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50735) - you deserved it (24041)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:28pm - misc - by LockandKey - United States (Illinois)



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