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Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "so does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML

#6387420
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35378) - you deserved it (2186)

On 11/21/2009 at 12:59am - love - by Fail (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while I was eating, my younger sister came over and sat beside me. She started clipping her toenails. Disgusted by it, I turned and opened my mouth to tell her to move somewhere else, just as one flew inside my mouth. FML

#6007268
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28921) - you deserved it (4503)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by ohhhgross (woman) - Singapore

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

#6194907
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16418) - you deserved it (1828)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad offered to take me and my sister to school because we just moved houses. On the way, he asked us why we looked so tired. We just said we were tired from moving house. Truth is, our room is right next to theirs. We heard everything. Loud and clear. FML

#6604367
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14772) - you deserved it (1498)

On 12/04/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML

#6226609
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10952) - you deserved it (25350)

On 11/09/2009 at 10:18am - animals - by Kirta (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then goes on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML

#6414325
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5843) - you deserved it (33556)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:45pm - misc - by drunkennight (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

#6688959
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30179) - you deserved it (2064)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:24am - work - by g_unit (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch". I had to wash his plate. FML

#6752832
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24103) - you deserved it (1214)

On 12/14/2009 at 3:23pm - work - by militarywife2b - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found a pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear glasses, and nobody besides myself has been in my car lately. It appears that someone has been sleeping in my car and forgot their glasses. FML

#6836153
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17911) - you deserved it (2161)

On 12/19/2009 at 9:40pm - misc - by chrono64 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent christmas eve googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good christmas. FML

#6933145
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20500) - you deserved it (2710)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:25am - animals - by suuuuuupucci (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML

#6811696
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32612) - you deserved it (3399)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML

#6933650
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23239) - you deserved it (2098)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:04am - love - by HeSucks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I returned to work after a restful week-long holiday. Before I left, I'd finished a huge assignment which is due this week. I walk in to find a water pipe has burst just above my desk, flooding our office with water and ruining my computer. Happy New Year to me. FML

#7142221
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20037) - you deserved it (1920)

On 01/04/2010 at 6:15am - work - by WetWetWet (man) - India (Maharashtra)



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