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Today, our school got portable classrooms for the construction on our school. I had to take a dump really bad, and had to use the built in bathroom. As I was in there I heard laughing. Turns out, every sound you make is an entire broadcast to the class. FML

#16119488
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31027) - you deserved it (4102)

On 05/10/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the man who has been my stepfather for six years, has forgotten how old I am. However, he remembers exactly how much my real father owes him for child support. FML

#13512572
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26805) - you deserved it (2542)

On 10/19/2010 at 3:15pm - money - by moe (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was alone in my dorm room rehearsing comments to make in my writing class tomorrow. I grew up with a severe stutter, and rehearsing like this is one of the ways I keep my speech under control. What I didn't plan on was my roommate walking in. I think she now thinks I'm schizophrenic. FML

#13846681
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22669) - you deserved it (2624)

On 11/14/2010 at 10:43pm - misc - by stutterernotschizophrenic (woman) -

Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML

#13415843
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24897) - you deserved it (2720)

On 10/12/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking to my manager about a movie. She asked what main actors were in it, but the only one I could remember was Forest Whitaker. I told her then immediately blurted out "You know, the one with the freaky lazy eye." My manager has a lazy eye. FML

#13873380
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7923) - you deserved it (29978)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:34am - work - by workaholic -

Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML

#8902353
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19474) - you deserved it (2156)

On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was walking into my apartment building, a douchebag leaned out his truck window and yelled, "HOW MUCH FOR A BJ?" He then pulled into a spot near my car. Apparently I have a charming new neighbor. FML

#14055521
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30116) - you deserved it (2642)

On 12/02/2010 at 12:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home. As a volunteer, I'm not supposed to accept any money or gifts from any of the residents. However, one elderly woman kept insisting I take her gold watch. After politely refusing for the fifth time, she decided to chuck it at my face. FML

#12530791
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32149) - you deserved it (3801)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:39am - work - by ouch (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while my friend and I signed the guest-book at a wedding, the drunk guy at our table stole my friend's painkillers and car keys before getting into a cab. Didn't need the painkillers, definitely needed the keys. FML

#13259965
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22061) - you deserved it (2595)

On 09/30/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by strandedguest (woman) - United States

Today, my ballet teacher decided to tell us, in detail, about the nasty staph infection she has on her boob. The whole time, she was scratching it. FML

#13895610
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28496) - you deserved it (2551)

On 11/19/2010 at 1:07am - health - by fightingkittens (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

#11848419
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11083) - you deserved it (37071)

On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)

Today, at work, my boss and I went upstairs to storage. We got in the elevator, I pressed the 2nd floor button, and it didn't move so I repeatedly pressed the button. It wasn't until the 5th press that I realized we were already on the 2nd floor. She thought I was an idiot. FML

#13452838
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6903) - you deserved it (24281)

On 10/14/2010 at 11:03pm - work - by edodge (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out the animal that was gnawing behind the kitchen wall all night was indeed a wild rat and his entire family. FML

#14120407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22104) - you deserved it (2437)

On 12/07/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by rattness (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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