Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my parents told me they wouldn't be able to afford my senior portraits. That was fine with me, until I found some expensive professional photos in the mail. Of our dog. FML

#5228035
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49121) - you deserved it (2320)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by sarahpft (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a UTI and the doctor said the medicine can sometimes make you leak a little. "Leak a little" apparently translates into peeing all over myself, my boyfriend, and his bed while we were sleeping. The doctor also said this medicine can stain your urine a beautiful, bright orange color. FML

#5769325
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36443) - you deserved it (2836)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:48am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I noticed my dishwasher wouldn't turn on. After shelling out $120 call-out fee, I was a little miffed when the technician walked in, pressed the 'unlock' function and walked out again. FML

#4594322
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9105) - you deserved it (51263)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by veevee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized I'm missing my diamond earrings. After ripping apart the vacuum bag and exhausting all other options I'm pretty sure my new cat ate them. I'm going to go sift through several days worth of cat shit now. FML

#5652102
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32724) - you deserved it (6182)

On 10/04/2009 at 10:19pm - animals - by FellingShitty (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the dentist to get a hole in my tooth filled. After the dentist had injected the anesthetic into my gums, she realized that none of the electrical equipment were working. She sent me home. My entire right side of my face is completely numb and swollen for no reason. FML

#4995016
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38385) - you deserved it (2899)

On 09/02/2009 at 7:00am - misc - by someone - Denmark (Kobenhavn)

Today, I was working on a client's roof. Some neighborhood kids thought it would be hilarious if they knocked over my ladder. I was stuck on this roof in serious heat. I caught the attention of a pedestrian to come to my rescue. It was a little old lady. She gave me the finger and left. FML

#4179768
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52560) - you deserved it (2475)

On 07/31/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by roofer (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at my cashier job, I got written up for accepting obviously photocopied coupons. Last week, I got written up for "inadequate customer service" because I refused to accept the same bogus coupons from the same customer. FML

#5279131
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46593) - you deserved it (2277)

On 09/15/2009 at 7:39pm - work - by bonedregardless (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was supposed to be picked up by my date. I haven't got my license yet, so all my dates have to pick me up. He never showed. He also didn't bother to text or call that he wasn't coming. Neither did the five other dates I was supposed to have this summer. FML

#4812515
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47928) - you deserved it (9537)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:52pm - love - by sabbydutchgirl (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my dad that for Halloween I'm going to be an '80s workout Barbie. He just looks at me and says, "Yeah as the 'before' picture". FML

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me so she could "let her life flow in the direction she wants." Apparently that includes smoking, stealing and making out with other girls at parties. The best part? She wants to get back together "after she matures and gets it out of her system." FML

#6377568
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30838) - you deserved it (3044)

On 11/20/2009 at 4:30am - love - by ApparentlyIFail (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML

#6013490
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36342) - you deserved it (3677)

On 10/26/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by laxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML

#6067303
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40722) - you deserved it (2425)

On 10/30/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by legotron (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

#5894935
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8988) - you deserved it (60218)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:42am - love - by DrunkGirl - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: