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Today, the left side of my head has officially declared its independence. Half of my hair is now curly, the rest is totally flat. FML

#21224614
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27916) - you deserved it (2827) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/30/2014 at 2:51am - misc - by anonyme - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, while on holiday in England, a cute boy came up and asked where I'm from. When I said Paris, he gave a look and said, "Oh, strange, I always thought Parisians were the most beautiful women in the world." FML

#233
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47393) - you deserved it (3947)

On 11/06/2008 at 8:01am - love - by frog - United Kingdom (London)

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

#557
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20223) - you deserved it (6949)

On 12/20/2008 at 7:23am - kids - by Lola - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML

#627
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19813) - you deserved it (4877)

On 12/30/2008 at 1:24am - misc - by mimimi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm sick. I got the flu shot for the first time ever this year and for the first time in my life, I have the flu. FML

#2279
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18894) - you deserved it (4325)

On 01/23/2009 at 3:24am - health - by cyantist - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked past a girl in the cafeteria and she threw up. Naturally, a crowd was drawn. Her friend asked her what was wrong. She pointed at me and said, "Get him away from me!" I had never met this girl. FML

#7894
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39826) - you deserved it (2201)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by disgusting (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

#13946
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30410) - you deserved it (3231)

On 02/07/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was in the car with a group of my girl friends discussing sexual experiences when I looked down and realized my Blackberry had dialed the family I babysit for and had left a five minute voicemail. FML

#22263
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44064) - you deserved it (15298)

On 02/10/2009 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML

#107589
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68450) - you deserved it (2894)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by scotto (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a girl I really liked mentioned she's home alone and that she was really really lonely. She offered for me to come over and watch a few movies with her, and as I got prepared to leave she sent me a text saying " can you pick up my friend Spencer? " FML

#92040
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42624) - you deserved it (2857)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:42pm - love - by batman123 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well performed dive of the diving board, I go up and attempt my best dive. I slip just as I jump and hit my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

#464329
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22549) - you deserved it (51081)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:47am - love - by Fish (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I was cashiering at a grocery store when an elderly woman came through my line buying prune juice. She then whispered to me that last time she bought it, she "blew up her toilet". FML

#3225149
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36938) - you deserved it (2373)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML

#3477913
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46892) - you deserved it (2108)

On 07/04/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by hot_mess88 (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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