Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML

#20126324
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20763) - you deserved it (1305)

On 10/21/2012 at 6:31am - health - by leaftheerickson (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out why my District Manager won't promote me to store manager; his wife thinks he's having an affair with me. If he promotes me, she will take that as evidence of the affair, and then will threaten to divorce him. FML

#20045096
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24126) - you deserved it (1490)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:09pm - work - by Mandi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told the hairdresser that my kid had cut my hair. I don't have kids. I was just really drunk. FML

#19545053
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7144) - you deserved it (29735)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by faux ma (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got denied a job. They told me I was unreliable because I didn't show up for my third interview. This is the same interview they called and cancelled this morning. FML

#19025988
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24883) - you deserved it (1672)

On 02/08/2012 at 11:53am - work - by abrooks88 - United States

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

#19366084
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22907) - you deserved it (1724)

On 03/28/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by deadgrass (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch while babysitting. When the kids' parents came home, they made fake crying noises to see if I would wake up. I slept like a baby, and by the time they finally roused me, I'd left a nice drool stain on the armrest. FML

#19385334
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6449) - you deserved it (29684)

On 03/31/2012 at 10:52pm - misc - by whatnow - United States (Indiana)

Today, I accidentally left my cell phone at the restaurant. When I realized my mistake, I went back to see if anyone had found it. They said no, so I gave them my number to call if it turned up. I realized later that I'd given them my cell phone number. FML

#19115429
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8572) - you deserved it (22893)

On 02/19/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by queenbee12345678 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my family made a fake boyfriend for me on Facebook, since it's been so long since I had one. I accepted the relationship request to try and trick people into thinking I actually had a boyfriend. FML

#19200358
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9481) - you deserved it (26406)

On 03/02/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while painting a wall, I handed a bucket of paint up to my friend who was standing on the top rung of a ladder. She said she felt dizzy, and came crashing down on me, along with the paint on my head. FML

#19306494
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19331) - you deserved it (2215)

On 03/19/2012 at 8:39am - misc - by fuuu. - Hong Kong

Today, I was practicing for a choir concert that I have next week. My mom walked into my room and listened to me for a little while. After I finished the last song, she smiled, patted me on the head and said, "It's okay honey, I can't sing either." FML

#19590549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21552) - you deserved it (2657)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Ellie (woman) - United States

Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML

#20045631
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32811) - you deserved it (10282)

On 08/28/2012 at 1:08am - intimacy - by gotta love my momma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was my last day at school before I graduate next week. Ten minutes into lunch break, I was brutally nailed in the neck by a football. Now, not only do I look like I was given a hickey by the Jolly Green Giant himself, I have to wear a neck brace at my graduation ceremony. FML

#19715623
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25478) - you deserved it (1816)

On 06/01/2012 at 2:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML

#20088602
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18384) - you deserved it (2248)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:57pm - misc - by pplsuck - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: