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Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

#21284616
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32910) - you deserved it (2413)

On 10/24/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36218) - you deserved it (10566)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML

#21238688
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44224) - you deserved it (3086)

On 08/16/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by bad birthdays - United States (California)

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

#21216504
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36747) - you deserved it (3120)

On 07/21/2014 at 5:15pm - work - by notpayedenoughforthisshit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was writing to my girlfriend on msn when her roommate answered «Sorry, this is not Marie, she is at her boyfriend’s». Really? I've looked everywhere in my flat, I can’t find her. FML

#39
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68913) - you deserved it (3480)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm - love - by Icy -

Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called "How to confess to having an affair." FML

#80
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71637) - you deserved it (4819)

On 10/27/2008 at 5:08am - love - by damnit - United States (Texas)

Today, my wisdom teeth decided to come in. I didn't know that being wise could hurt so much. FML

#234
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27349) - you deserved it (8540)

On 11/06/2008 at 8:39am - health - by little tooth - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized I spend way too much time on the computer. I grabbed the menu at the restaurant, glanced at the page, and tried to do CTRL+F to find seafood. Geek coming through! FML

#1196
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6874) - you deserved it (24262)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:14am - love - by Hth - United States (Delaware)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him getting it on with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML

#2506
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34414) - you deserved it (2383)

On 01/25/2009 at 8:07am - love - by theamericandream - United States (Illinois)

Today, on my 18th birthday, my mom told me the man I thought was my father for 18 years was actually not my father, and my real father was in prison for murder. FML

#3036
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44954) - you deserved it (1644)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:42am - misc - by kiddo - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML

#3435
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38068) - you deserved it (29900)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML

#94773
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9107) - you deserved it (61577)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:35am - love - by notsosexygirl (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

#197015
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71036) - you deserved it (3615)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:36pm - misc - by joAnne (woman) - United States



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