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Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML

#5651689
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10303) - you deserved it (30091)

On 10/04/2009 at 10:01pm - love - by danskinnow (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my family and I were coming back from a trip to the US. As we reached the border patrol we realized that we were one passport short. The border patrol lectured us for 30 minutes about how irresponsible we were for not realizing that they had forgotten to give us one of our passports back. FML

#4397401
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37133) - you deserved it (7241)

On 08/09/2009 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I turned down an invite to a huge private party that is rarely given to freshmen in college, because I felt bad that I hadn't had a chance to talk to my girlfriend in a couple of days. I called her a couple of hours later. She answered with, "Hey, I'm at a party. I will call you tomorrow?" FML

#5498846
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31186) - you deserved it (18804)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:23am - love - by Dead_Eye (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my professor informed me that if I didn't "show more commitment" to my choral ensemble he would give my spot to a "more interested young woman." I missed class to see my neurologist. Apparently my seizures are a symptom of lack of commitment. FML

#5312415
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33402) - you deserved it (2341)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:32pm - health - by OutOfLuck (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML

#5953871
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9731) - you deserved it (35429)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:01am - work - by E.S. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line tells me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I've got a headache, my legs are stiff and my date must think I stood her up. The tech finally arrives, pries the door open, then rudely asks, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

#5272541
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38102) - you deserved it (3048)

On 09/15/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Stuckism (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

#4751851
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30550) - you deserved it (3295)

On 08/23/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by Boltz719 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML

#6040415
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7246) - you deserved it (31251)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by Moody (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

#6005928
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27737) - you deserved it (2220)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:24pm - health - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I texted my brother saying "Always remember I love you! Never forget it!" to which he answered: "You better not be doing drugs." FML

#5933276
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24815) - you deserved it (8949)

On 10/21/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by Lovelysister (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend made me shave my chest. Afterwards, she said I looked like I was 12. She won't have sex with me until it grows back. FML

#6287629
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22306) - you deserved it (4469)

On 11/13/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by thelistman (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML

#6190781
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29531) - you deserved it (2406)

On 11/07/2009 at 12:34am - love - by achoooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my boyfriend was crushing on his best friend. When I found out I asked him about it. He replied. "Don't worry babe, she is perfect and way too good for me". FML

#6267510
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33522) - you deserved it (2578)

On 11/12/2009 at 12:09am - love - by Kittykatkrunch (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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