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Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like he loved me. He looked away and replied, "Fair enough". FML

#21194486
71 comments

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML

#21225648
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40627) - you deserved it (6512)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:51am - health - by jogginglikeitsmyjob (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

#21217675
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42317) - you deserved it (3737)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I got my first compliment in over a year. It was from my gynecologist, saying I have a beautiful cervix. FML

#21275026
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34121) - you deserved it (3265)

On 10/10/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by JulietMarie - United States (New York)

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

#21282367
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35151) - you deserved it (7322)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML

#21238688
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46478) - you deserved it (3283)

On 08/16/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by bad birthdays - United States (California)

Today, while walking to work, I found out what it feels like to be hit in the face by a rolled up newspaper thrown from the window of a moving car by a paper boy doing his rounds. It hit hard enough to give me a black eye. FML

#21246995
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37539) - you deserved it (3023)

On 08/28/2014 at 6:31am - work - by newswithabitofbite (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

#21267339
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34981) - you deserved it (3981)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:00pm - kids - by Anonymoose - United States (Indiana)

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

#21283044
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35861) - you deserved it (4073)

On 10/22/2014 at 10:47am - animals - by MouserMan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29584) - you deserved it (12720)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41420) - you deserved it (4424)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)



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