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Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

#21283044
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35826) - you deserved it (4068)

On 10/22/2014 at 10:47am - animals - by MouserMan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29581) - you deserved it (12719)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41417) - you deserved it (4424)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30159) - you deserved it (3536)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML

#21294812
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18899) - you deserved it (35446)

On 11/08/2014 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

#21293180
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33802) - you deserved it (2757)

On 11/06/2014 at 1:53am - work - by HelpMe1 (man) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

#21298550
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34561) - you deserved it (2654)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:21pm - misc - by JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend, who I've been living with for a year, and I were moving to another state at the end of the month. I told her in a restaurant, over lunch, where she then just got up and left me there without saying a word. FML

Today, I found out that my dog likes to howl when he hears sirens. I live next to the fire station. FML

#21305878
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30409) - you deserved it (3511)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by drreeeewwww - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I decided to check out a dating site, when I stumbled across my ex wife's profile. She'd had it for four out of the five years of our marriage. And no, it didn't rate us as a good match. FML

#21305183
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32989) - you deserved it (3624)

On 11/24/2014 at 1:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I received a gift certificate from my grandmother for a local bookshop. Considering how broke I am, this would be a fantastic gift. If the bookshop in question wasn't a right-wing evangelical Christian Bookshop, and I wasn't Jewish. FML

#21315500
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28486) - you deserved it (3410)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:29am - misc - by Soverytired (woman) - Australia

Today, I was short on money for bills, so I pulled out my alto saxophone, knowing that no matter how much I loved it, I'd be able pay my rent with the money. As I pulled it out of its case, the neck strap broke and I dropped it, breaking the bell beyond repair. Now I'm poor AND depressed. FML

#21310455
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37138) - you deserved it (3616)

On 12/02/2014 at 11:05pm - misc - by clumsyandpoor (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my son told me the Christmas letter he wrote to Santa was a joke and he didn't want the stuff he asked for. I already bought everything. FML

#21314459
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33653) - you deserved it (3848)

On 12/09/2014 at 2:15pm - kids - by Amore (woman) - Sent from mobile version



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