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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that no, my period arriving several days late doesn't mean I have AIDS. FML

#21467447
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25614) - you deserved it (2167)

On 09/11/2015 at 9:54pm - love - by T___T (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at age 27, I went to pick up the girl I like for my first ever date. Her brother answered the door with a baseball bat, said the date was off and threatened to smash my kneecaps to pieces if I ever came back. FML

#21477785
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25498) - you deserved it (1749)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to several dead snails and worms all over my bed. I guess that's what my little sister meant yesterday when she said I'd be sorry for not letting her play on my phone. FML

#21509043
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20655) - you deserved it (2057)

On 12/29/2015 at 12:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, at my minimum wage job, we received a half-way decomposed dog found in a lake. It was my job to tear open the bag and try to identify the breed and color. It would've been easier if the body wasn't crawling with maggots. FML

#21523219
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20744) - you deserved it (1593)

On 02/05/2016 at 10:24pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to pick up two girls by asking them what time it was. They burst out laughing. FML

#38
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17119) - you deserved it (53324)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - love - by SweeT -

Today, my wisdom teeth decided to come in. I didn't know that being wise could hurt so much. FML

#234
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31130) - you deserved it (9071)

On 11/06/2008 at 8:39am - health - by little tooth - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was jacking off casually to a picture of my ex-girlfriend, when all of the sudden, my friend sends me an IM picture of a granny bending over which pops up on my screen. I think my sex life is ruined forever. FML

#539
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18674) - you deserved it (30907)

On 12/17/2008 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

#2792
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43573) - you deserved it (8597)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, marks the two weeks since my paycheck should have arrived. During these two weeks, my battery has failed, tire has blown, and my phone and water bill have become past due. When I called the guy who's supposed to pay me, he said he has a note about it "somewhere on my desk". FML

#18460335
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28084) - you deserved it (2185)

On 12/08/2011 at 1:14pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I emailed the guy I like to ask him on a coffee date. He responded, declining by telling me he never drinks coffee. We met at Starbucks. FML

#257838
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60224) - you deserved it (3982)

On 03/10/2009 at 12:20am - love - by nononame (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML

#3416455
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13489) - you deserved it (46867)

On 07/02/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by Kronic (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML

#760486
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28323) - you deserved it (50137)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I recieved a phone call from a cruise line I had travelled on with my parents a year ago. After being told I had won a free $2,000 cruise from a sweepstakes I had entered while on the cruise. After celebrating loudly they informed me that you have to be 23 or older to collect it. I'm 17. FML

#3095885
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43386) - you deserved it (5964)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by Lucky (woman) - United States (Florida)



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