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Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML

#20788038
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44554) - you deserved it (3714)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:56am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's, cornered me in the kitchen and called the cops. My crime? Robbery, of my own house. FML

#20786208
64 comments

Today, I've been bedridden for the past two weeks. My boyfriend casually remarked that he understands now why some people cheat on their seriously-ill partners. Thanks for adding to the stress, sweetie. FML

#20797672
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45173) - you deserved it (3033)

On 07/22/2013 at 2:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML

#20821432
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41720) - you deserved it (4355)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:11am - health - by seriously? - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

#20822001
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48549) - you deserved it (4905)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by Serum - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

#20844156
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46239) - you deserved it (2644)

On 08/19/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work. Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am. They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars. They suck. FML

#20867437
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40249) - you deserved it (3138)

On 09/04/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by lostinspace (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML

#20878650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44089) - you deserved it (3996)

On 09/12/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by WTF - United States (Illinois)

Today, we got my dad an iPad for his birthday. I had to repeatedly reassure him that he could in fact touch the screen without being shocked. FML

#20899491
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36588) - you deserved it (3532)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I forgot my blind date's name 3 times during our conversation. FML

#20885867
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18124) - you deserved it (36510)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:17pm - love - by lola1313 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML

#20903388
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37840) - you deserved it (3584)

On 10/01/2013 at 2:43pm - kids - by HGTV (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got fired from my volunteer job. FML

#20879963
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39215) - you deserved it (9798)

On 09/13/2013 at 6:24pm - work - by Volunteer (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

#20894598
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34027) - you deserved it (4290)

On 09/24/2013 at 5:01pm - kids - by mandm - United States (New York)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

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