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Today, my instructor turned up late to get me for my driving test. I soon realized something was seriously wrong. Turned out his wife left him last night, and he'd been drinking the pain away all morning. He ended up rear-ending another car, and now I have to reschedule my test. FML

#21374413
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30071) - you deserved it (2214)

On 03/14/2015 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML

#21408368
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26573) - you deserved it (8687)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:40pm - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML

#21397871
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28611) - you deserved it (2124)

On 04/22/2015 at 9:31am - kids - by ireallylikecats - United States

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29923) - you deserved it (3592)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out the "sex noises" I heard from next door last night, which I'd angrily yelled at my neighbor for, were actually from him having an uncontrollable seizure. FML

#21405133
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28868) - you deserved it (11973)

On 05/05/2015 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by 420curse (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to write my own notice for enforced redundancy because my boss just went on a two week vacation. He told me to just forge his signature and that, if I wouldn't do it, he'd just make something up to dismiss me on codes of conduct. FML

Today, the girl I'm secretly in love with, whom I was talking to on MSN, told me she'd "brb in 10, no wait 20, oh make that 30 min" depending on her boyfriend's stamina. FML

#117
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63859) - you deserved it (8711)

On 10/28/2008 at 7:13am - intimacy - by loon - Sent from mobile version

Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML

#238
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15777) - you deserved it (65608)

On 11/07/2008 at 12:47am - misc - by alice5000 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my two favorite things in the world are Pizza and Beer... I now discover I have Celiac and can't have either. FML

#760
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22974) - you deserved it (2690)

On 12/30/2008 at 5:41am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML

#1321
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9218) - you deserved it (38009)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:34am - intimacy - by horny bastard - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML

#1634
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7459) - you deserved it (29100)

On 01/18/2009 at 4:57pm - love - by indian:( - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

#2727
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26567) - you deserved it (2673)

On 01/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by glittercat - United States (Missouri)

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML

#5857
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8848) - you deserved it (45155)

On 02/02/2009 at 11:42pm - money - by bluntedone (man) - United States (Arizona)



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