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Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML

#1817
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24736) - you deserved it (5652)

On 01/20/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by mainche - Sent from mobile version

Today, my visiting cousin was driving me to pick-up and pay for my wedding cake at the bakery. The cops pulled him over for speeding and as it turns out his license was expired. I ended up having to use my wedding cake money to bail him out of jail. FML

#3657185
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37384) - you deserved it (2926)

On 07/11/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by mellbelle32 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my friend who invited me to a theme party. It was a goth theme, and I decided to get real into it. I put on a trench coat, black skin tight pants, and black paint under the eyes. When I got there I was greeted by a kid in a pink popped collar. It wasn't a theme party. FML

#190335
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43078) - you deserved it (6866)

On 03/02/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by nerd (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had an art class with my girlfriend. The teacher assigned "anti-cards", or cards for unusual or bad occasions. My girlfriend decided to make a "break-up" card, and I helped her write the poem inside it. After class, she gave it to me. FML

#5251989
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40088) - you deserved it (5820)

On 09/14/2009 at 2:54pm - love - by UnluckyArtist (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter ran up to a librarian working in the kids section and screamed "MOMMY!" and hugged her. She looked at her and said "I'm not your mommy." My daughters reply: "I know. But you're better than mommy" FML

#849178
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72726) - you deserved it (7239)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:32am - work - by Windstar (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML

#3476155
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34829) - you deserved it (6248)

On 07/04/2009 at 8:10am - health - by michellekel (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I rear-ended a car. While we were waiting for the police, we made small talk, at which time I learned he was an attorney. FML

#2454522
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43217) - you deserved it (7567)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:45am - misc - by T-Shain (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked past a building site near my house, there was a sign saying "WARNING - Beware of the scaffolding". I started laughing at the stupidity of the sign, and walked straight into a metal pole. FML

#2963436
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6683) - you deserved it (52796)

On 06/17/2009 at 9:40am - misc - by jonnyc - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, the police posted a description of the car of a child abductor. As everyone slowed down to read the billboard, I realized that the car's description and license plate were very similar to mine. After getting death stares from passengers, I got pulled over. Twice. FML

#1043784
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56902) - you deserved it (2254)

On 04/17/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by eyeamcool (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going to do some laundry, with the washer and dryer I bought off of Craigslist for 150 dollars. The washer leaks and the dryer doesn't dry. So I called the guy and left an angry message about how the washer flooded my kitchen. In fact I just forgot to hook up the drain hose. FML

#3639163
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5269) - you deserved it (55770)

On 07/10/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got home and realized that I didn't have my keys and my mum had said she wasn't going to be home till the next morning. After a long wait I decided I'd have to break a window to get in. Almost immediately after closing the door I watched as my mum pulled up in the driveway. FML

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. I went into hospital to get it put in a cast, but still went into school afterwards. I got written up for truancy because I didn't have a doctor's note. The cast was still on my arm. FML

#5328146
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36118) - you deserved it (2860)

On 09/18/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by London (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, the girl whom I have loved for 4 years told me that she loved me too and would like to spend her life with me. This was before she told me that God did not want us to be together. FML

#11909
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29432) - you deserved it (1955)

On 02/06/2009 at 4:24pm - misc - by thesparrow (man) - United States (Illinois)



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