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Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML

#21423823
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28354) - you deserved it (1768)

On 06/10/2015 at 8:00am - misc - by Spa Catholic - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was invited to an adult toy party with co-workers. They started by playing a game called 'Never Ever Have I Ever' about everyone's sexual exploits. My mother is a co-worker. I can never un-hear what I heard. FML

#21425174
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28036) - you deserved it (5768)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by silverspud - United States (Colorado)

Today, after being with my fiance for almost a decade, my future mother-in-law has been accusing me of being a gold digger because we want to buy a house together. She has conveniently forgotten her son was out of work for two years and I supported the both of us. FML

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

#21430016
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28983) - you deserved it (3542)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:35am - work - by Iamsosorry (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I noticed a rash of insect bites on the backs of my thighs and buttocks. Upon further investigation, it appears that the inside of the chair in my work cubicle is infested with bedbugs. I'm too paranoid to sit in any work chair now. There are 12 hours left in my shift. FML

#21433237
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23008) - you deserved it (1505)

On 06/28/2015 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML

#41
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46175) - you deserved it (9517)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm - love - by Crawling -

Today, I am supposed to be doing my homework. Instead, I'm wasting my time on here. Yeah, it's kinda my fault. FML

#94
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15031) - you deserved it (105427)

On 10/27/2008 at 10:53am - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML

#238
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15791) - you deserved it (65667)

On 11/07/2008 at 12:47am - misc - by alice5000 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized I spend way too much time on the computer. I grabbed the menu at the restaurant, glanced at the page, and tried to do CTRL+F to find seafood. Geek coming through! FML

#1196
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6941) - you deserved it (24481)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:14am - love - by Hth - United States (Delaware)

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

#4642
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34806) - you deserved it (5409)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

#7193
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38896) - you deserved it (1906)

On 02/04/2009 at 2:53am - animals - by RustyBulletHole - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

#20313
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93960) - you deserved it (5149)

On 02/10/2009 at 10:08am - misc - by imalilangel05 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I handed in an assignment in health class that had to calculate my BMI. Embarassed by my weight I put it 15 pounds less. I got the assignment back and lost credit for something. Circled in red pen on the top was you must put your "EXACT" weight. FML

#92098
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38321) - you deserved it (16242)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:49pm - work - by ohh jeez. - United States (New Jersey)



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