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Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

#4121
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28704) - you deserved it (4911)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Lars - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML

#4601
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29219) - you deserved it (3057)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:41am - work - by sportskidguru - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked past a girl in the cafeteria and she threw up. Naturally, a crowd was drawn. Her friend asked her what was wrong. She pointed at me and said, "Get him away from me!" I had never met this girl. FML

#7894
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39866) - you deserved it (2200)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by disgusting (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got an email from the local D and D meet up group that the next meeting will be on Feb. 14th. I don't know what is more sad: that the group is meeting on Valentine's Day, or that I have nothing better to do but go. FML

#5128
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24625) - you deserved it (3888)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:41am - love - by Noname - United States (Alabama)

Today, I realized that I know more about Paris Hilton's cervix than how my government is run. FML

#6894
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6428) - you deserved it (34632)

On 02/03/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by parishiltonsbff (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML

#34306
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34667) - you deserved it (7695)

On 02/12/2009 at 10:52pm - misc - by yerface - United States (Texas)

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

#35910
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27353) - you deserved it (34730)

On 02/13/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Kulcha (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML

#60508
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10075) - you deserved it (39144)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by silkytaco - United States (Hawaii)

Today, everyone at school was talking about some guy that did another girl while he was going out with someone. I started to spread the rumor myself, until someone told me that that guy was my boyfriend. The other girl was my best friend. FML

#125458
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50720) - you deserved it (24029)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:28pm - misc - by LockandKey - United States (Illinois)

Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML

#107589
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68498) - you deserved it (2897)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by scotto (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked downstairs in a new outfit, after dieting for 3 months, and losing just over 20 pounds. My mom took one look at me and said "You'd better keep going." FML

#134892
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44556) - you deserved it (3070)

On 02/25/2009 at 5:06pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting this one year old. She just learned how to say yes so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said "yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty... she looked at me and said "NO." FML

#171559
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59664) - you deserved it (13017)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:29pm - kids - by hi (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML

#171623
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49576) - you deserved it (8226)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:36pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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