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Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML

#5875643
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32670) - you deserved it (5167)

On 10/18/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by Anonwymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

#5894935
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8456) - you deserved it (58475)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:42am - love - by DrunkGirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, while working as a cashier, I was flirting with this cute girl. When I asked her if she had her store card she said "No", paused, then said "Can I give you my number?". I said "Sure, that would be awesome, do you want mine?". She said no. I didn't know I could just enter the card number. FML

#5929779
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10180) - you deserved it (32197)

On 10/21/2009 at 3:53pm - love - by fyourlife (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to the movies with the guy I have been in love with for a long time. I laid my head on his shoulder and he held my hand throughout the movie. Afterwards he asked me for advice on the girl he likes. Apparently she isn't talking to him anymore. FML

Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I am partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML

#6136055
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33443) - you deserved it (1773)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was texting while making dinner. I went to pour the noodles into the boiling water and I dropped my phone in. Not thinking, I went to retrieve it from the water. I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML

#6262427
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9914) - you deserved it (34501)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that my 2 week Christmas vacation my boss was talking about wasn't for this year, but 2010. I spent the day with my husband cancelling flights to Florida, and explaning to my 8 year old why we were not going to Disney World. FML

#6557406
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34073) - you deserved it (4560)

On 12/01/2009 at 8:32pm - work - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my mom's "hobby" of rescuing homeless people became very real. We now have 3 more people living in our house, and none of them have a sense of personal space. I wake up to their faces in my windows. Thanks mom. FML

#6350445
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33685) - you deserved it (2240)

On 11/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Bribri (man) - United States (California)

Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML

#6297066
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8938) - you deserved it (33708)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the woman I love told me she cared about me and didn't like me hurting myself. She then posted a picture of herself making-out with her new boyfriend. FML

#6433599
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22682) - you deserved it (4837)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:04am - love - by xX-SaD-FaCe-Xx (man) - Singapore

Today, I was doing homework in my room when my roommate started meowing all of a sudden. Not only was he meowing, he started to make loud cat noises that resembled a cat being run over by a car. He's gonna be my roommate for the rest of the year. FML

#6646444
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28616) - you deserved it (3060)

On 12/07/2009 at 3:54am - animals - by SeeMeInTheDark (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out my neighbor has been watching my husband and I have sex for the 2 years we've been married. He slaps his sausage and smokes 5 cigarettes while he watches. FML

#6656855
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19750) - you deserved it (4978)

On 12/07/2009 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by niquey62307 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

#6583595
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22425) - you deserved it (3187)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)



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