Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told a guy at work about my boyfriend. His immediate response was to ask me if I was making him up. He's the third person to react this way. FML

#17910892
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24961) - you deserved it (3406)

On 10/05/2011 at 12:03pm - work - by UglyApparently (woman) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I learned that my hairdo must resemble a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML

#18408881
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22347) - you deserved it (5654)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by inpain - United States (California)

Today, I went tanning for 15 min at my gym. When I got out no one was there, all of the lights were off, and the alarm started going off. Turns out the people working forgot about me, locked up, and left me there. FML

#15994879
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34567) - you deserved it (5040)

On 04/30/2011 at 8:19pm - misc - by Tara (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother texted me that she was in labor. She never told me she was pregnant. Apparently she's engaged too. FML

#20091458
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24439) - you deserved it (1820)

On 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Texas)

Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

#17999888
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30104) - you deserved it (5811) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm - work - by Mayabie - France

Today, my co-worker handed me a note. The note said, "If you can, please take a shower once in a while." The smell was coming from the broken bathroom next to my office. FML

#18896792
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25014) - you deserved it (2278)

On 01/24/2012 at 3:15am - health - by stinky - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

#20020549
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18794) - you deserved it (1533)

On 08/14/2012 at 12:14pm - health - by Todd - United States

Today, I received an e-mail from my girlfriend's parents telling me that all the dirty e-mails I've been sending to her while she is away have been accessible by the whole family. FML

#19070641
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23909) - you deserved it (11883)

On 02/14/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I turned 21. It's also the day I learned how it feels to have my foot and leg set on fire by a drunken idiot who thought it was a great idea to splash lighter fluid into an open-pit bonfire. FML

#18401102
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22597) - you deserved it (2282)

On 12/01/2011 at 2:00am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that, after offering to fill out my student aid application for me, my mother sent all of my personal information to a scam site instead. FML

#18682352
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26442) - you deserved it (3868)

On 01/02/2012 at 1:45am - money - by ... - United States

Today, the only person to wish me a happy birthday was a survey website. I took their stupid survey out of appreciation. FML

#19391757
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19330) - you deserved it (1888)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking up some stairs, and I told the guy in front of me to be careful, as the handrail was loose and well-worn. I then put my hand on it, and promptly fell backwards down the stairs with a piece of handrail still in my hand. FML

#19651744
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16596) - you deserved it (5557)

On 05/20/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by taob (woman) - China (Guangxi)

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML

#19062994
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23999) - you deserved it (4522)

On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: