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Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML

#21296899
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34284) - you deserved it (4397)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:56am - animals - by izzy46111 - United States (Arizona)

Today, as I was laying in bed in my dark room, with only my phone's light on, a huge moth flew around it and directly into my open mouth. FML

#21285341
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29621) - you deserved it (5068)

On 10/25/2014 at 11:47pm - misc - by j_portal - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my dog likes to howl when he hears sirens. I live next to the fire station. FML

#21305878
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28776) - you deserved it (3190)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by drreeeewwww - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

#21306727
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31397) - you deserved it (6504)

On 11/27/2014 at 10:13am - love - by fart - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at work at a call center, I got a call from an elderly man who needed a new credit card because he'd accidentally cut up his own card instead of his wife's. Trying to be funny, I said "Trying to keep her in line, eh?" Turns out his wife had just died. FML

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32361) - you deserved it (4783)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his own penis. Whenever he doesn't have a diaper on, he screams, cries and yells, "Ew". FML

#21347945
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30083) - you deserved it (2458)

On 02/01/2015 at 7:43pm - health - by okseñoryoucrazy - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter was putting clothes in the drier when she yelled, "Mom!! The drier won't start!" I had to explain to her that the door needed to be shut. Her response, "Oh. I didn't know that mattered." She's 15. FML

#21331580
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27487) - you deserved it (5122)

On 01/05/2015 at 8:59pm - kids - by i_am_forever - United States (California)

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

#21343098
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33042) - you deserved it (4392)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by xoragebaby - United States

Today, I've managed to go my whole nine-year teaching career without anyone vomiting in my classroom. That record was broken today when someone vomited four successive times in front of a class of 46 students. It was me. FML

#21373013
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31438) - you deserved it (2650)

On 03/12/2015 at 6:23am - work - by musicteacher - United States (North Carolina)

Today, in the middle of my haircut, the hairdresser went into labor. They never finished cutting it. FML

#21347835
75 comments

Today, an old man approached me at work. I smiled and asked, "Hi, can I help you"? He looked at me for a few seconds before replying, "Fuck me, you need to lose some weight!" and then wandering off. FML

#21379495
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27314) - you deserved it (3226)

On 03/22/2015 at 1:41pm - work - by { o } (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my manager accused me of stealing $20. I didn't do it, but since she said she was going to call the cops, I gave her some of my own money. She still called the cops. FML



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