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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I wanted to go clubbing with my friends. I started drinking at home to save on the price of drinks, instead I fell asleep on my couch. FML

#12797652
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6484) - you deserved it (31229)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by constantine - United States

Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML

#14022064
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26357) - you deserved it (3372)

On 11/29/2010 at 9:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was installing TVs in a hospital. When I knocked on a door, a female voice asked me to come in. I opened the door to see an 80 year old woman standing in front of me, naked. She then complained when I hesitated to help her to put some clothes on. FML

#12483981
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24871) - you deserved it (2335)

On 08/12/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Olorin (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I spent ages looking for a parking space at the mall. I saw a couple walking out of the mall and decided to follow them and take their space when they left. After following them for a good ten minutes, I realised they were heading to the bus stop. FML

#14155687
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7615) - you deserved it (27978)

On 12/10/2010 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was run over by my own car as I tried to push it out of a snowbank. FML

#14248999
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21430) - you deserved it (4401)

On 12/18/2010 at 3:22pm - health - by drew - United States (Michigan)

Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

#15043066
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23810) - you deserved it (3623)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:23pm - work - by Brendan - Canada

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML

#14409585
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30545) - you deserved it (3920)

On 12/31/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I sat across from a cute boy in my English class. I thought it was cute when he winked at me, so I laughed and winked back. I didn't understand why he shot me a dirty look, until I later found out he has eyelid spasms. FML

#14835429
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29290) - you deserved it (6119)

On 02/04/2011 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML

#16498430
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25919) - you deserved it (2519)

On 06/04/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by TMI - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the bus, it hit a bump on the road and made me hit a elderly man. The bus driver thought I did it on purpose and made me get off. FML

#15147269
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25643) - you deserved it (2649)

On 02/28/2011 at 1:00am - misc - by Parade (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML

#14821107
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26331) - you deserved it (2696)

On 02/03/2011 at 12:33am - health - by Kay -

Today, while driving with my three year old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML

#16520207
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29408) - you deserved it (4036)

On 06/05/2011 at 9:44pm - kids - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I confirmed that my neighbors burn their garbage in their backyard. How? My dog just threw up a nice smelly consistency of spaghetti, plastic and cigarette butts on my carpet. FML

#14954664
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (3254)

On 02/13/2011 at 3:36am - animals - by Anonymous - United States



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