Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on the first date of my life. I also burped during my first kiss. FML

#14585832
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30611) - you deserved it (7169)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:38am - love - by hollysofly - United States (California)

Today, I went to my "not so technologically advanced" grandma's house to help her out with her computer. It appears she has very interesting conversations with the man who lives in the apartment above her. FML

#15061511
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27634) - you deserved it (3342)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Josie (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

#15243539
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32305) - you deserved it (7005)

On 03/08/2011 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while driving, I got a call on my cell phone. Trying to be safe and avoid an accident, I pulled into the nearest parking lot before answering. While I was turning in to park, someone rear-ended me. FML

#15526729
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26960) - you deserved it (3734)

On 03/28/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by calling_while_driving - United States (California)

Today, after getting off work from a horrible 16 hour shift, I went out to my truck. My windows were completely covered in window chalk, to the point that I couldn't leave. I had to spend the next hour and a half washing it all off while my manager laughed about it. FML

#17630283
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22721) - you deserved it (1827)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:45pm - work - by chicoallen - United States

Today, I discovered my mother went into the local pub where I work part time, got very drunk, and flashed her boobs at everyone. I found out when a picture was posted on Facebook. FML

#16527434
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33447) - you deserved it (2797)

On 06/06/2011 at 9:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I saw a girl wearing a Nirvana shirt. Since Nirvana has been my favorite band for a long time, I tried striking up a conversation with her. Turns out she doesn't even listen to them, and only bought the shirt because she "liked the smiley face." FML

#17902155
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29162) - you deserved it (4895)

On 10/04/2011 at 4:57am - misc - by storksleuth (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, was the first day of my new job. My boss admitted that they hadn't cleaned the employee bathroom for over two months. My first task: clean the employee bathroom. FML

#19343109
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21479) - you deserved it (1740)

On 03/25/2012 at 3:12am - misc - by LesToiliettes - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was very cold and tired, so I took a shower to warm up and went to bed. The minute I hopped into bed, it collapsed and broke. I have spent half-an-hour rearranging furniture to get the mattress on to the floor. Now I'm cold again. FML

#19173617
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20382) - you deserved it (2850)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

#19405538
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20300) - you deserved it (1858)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:58am - misc - by Telemarket (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML

#18703060
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21125) - you deserved it (2687)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:15am - health - by emsbuffalo - United States

Today, I was at my cousin's house. We weren't spending time together because he was always texting. After a couple of minutes, I got jealous. I played a ringtone on my cell, and "answered" it. I had a whole conversation with nobody in an attempt to seem somewhat more popular than a 10-year-old. FML

#17752355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10176) - you deserved it (24493)

On 09/15/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by ForeverAlone (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my first day at work as a waitress. The day ended with me owing my employers money, after I accidentally smashed an expensive bottle of wine on the floor. FML

#18493927
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22820) - you deserved it (4523)

On 12/12/2011 at 12:08pm - work - by isuckasawaitress (woman) - Singapore



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: