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Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

#15043066
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23807) - you deserved it (3623)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:23pm - work - by Brendan - Canada

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML

#14409585
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30544) - you deserved it (3920)

On 12/31/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I sat across from a cute boy in my English class. I thought it was cute when he winked at me, so I laughed and winked back. I didn't understand why he shot me a dirty look, until I later found out he has eyelid spasms. FML

#14835429
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29289) - you deserved it (6119)

On 02/04/2011 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML

#16498430
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25918) - you deserved it (2519)

On 06/04/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by TMI - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the bus, it hit a bump on the road and made me hit a elderly man. The bus driver thought I did it on purpose and made me get off. FML

#15147269
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25632) - you deserved it (2649)

On 02/28/2011 at 1:00am - misc - by Parade (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML

#14821107
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26333) - you deserved it (2696)

On 02/03/2011 at 12:33am - health - by Kay -

Today, while driving with my three year old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML

#16520207
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29404) - you deserved it (4036)

On 06/05/2011 at 9:44pm - kids - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I confirmed that my neighbors burn their garbage in their backyard. How? My dog just threw up a nice smelly consistency of spaghetti, plastic and cigarette butts on my carpet. FML

#14954664
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21663) - you deserved it (3254)

On 02/13/2011 at 3:36am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my head has been killing me. I've had the worst headache ever. Happy that I could finally sleep, I plopped onto my bed and bashed my head on the wall. FML

#15720068
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25936) - you deserved it (9781)

On 04/10/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Monique - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, a customer asked for my number. When I declined, he made a huge scene, shouting and scaring other customers. He tipped me seven cents. FML

#17980865
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22090) - you deserved it (2164)

On 10/14/2011 at 5:35am - work - by scribbler8 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I announced to my family that I was going to start playing netball with my work colleagues. They all burst into fits of laughter at the thought of me doing physical activity. FML

#20061605
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15248) - you deserved it (3703)

On 09/07/2012 at 5:50am - health - by sunshinexx - Australia

Today, one of my really close friends changed from being 'free' to 'quite busy' in the space of one conversation because I suggested that we hang out. FML

#15870197
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25523) - you deserved it (3135)

On 04/21/2011 at 4:33am - misc - by gutted (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I received the first compliment from the opposite sex that I've gotten in months, from an elderly, cross-dressing man in the parking lot of Goodwill. Apparently my clothes look like they'd be "exciting to try on." FML

#19129849
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19656) - you deserved it (2474)

On 02/21/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by mishie1 (woman) - United States



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