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Today, I heard my sister talking to my mom about me, saying that I have the ability to suck the life out of a room like a Dementor. I walked in and asked what she meant by that. My mom replied, "She means you're an asshole." I love you too, mom. FML

#21055293
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35847) - you deserved it (6344)

On 02/09/2014 at 12:00pm - misc - by jigglepuff - United States (Arizona)

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. My doctor failed to fix it, but did succeed in practically dislocating the other one. FML

#21099597
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37661) - you deserved it (3034)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:06pm - health - by unlucky - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom stopped playing badminton with me because she claimed I was too aggressive. Apparently winning, playing by the rules, and smashing is considered aggressive. FML

#21100568
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30065) - you deserved it (7335)

On 03/30/2014 at 10:44pm - misc - by moms a baby - United States (California)

Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML

#21089223
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33855) - you deserved it (4943)

On 03/17/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by Bandking (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my grandma reduced me to a sobbing wreck in two short sentences, just to win a bet against my mum. FML

#21098667
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36150) - you deserved it (4334)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by :( (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML

#21311702
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35345) - you deserved it (3051)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:33pm - love - by Sad Chef ;( - United States

Today, the family in the apartment next to me decided to give their 4-year-old kid a recorder. It's been three hours. Kill me. FML

#21127541
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37776) - you deserved it (3286)

On 04/30/2014 at 10:13pm - kids - by pleasestop (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML

#21162663
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43666) - you deserved it (3674)

On 06/04/2014 at 10:34am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my parents were screaming so loud about who clogged the toilet that a neighbor called the police because they thought someone was in danger. FML

#21152412
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39685) - you deserved it (3625)

On 05/26/2014 at 4:28pm - misc - by dear god why (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, in a last ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML

#21176055
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45917) - you deserved it (4316)

On 06/15/2014 at 10:21pm - work - by Godhelpme (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend's grandma took me to his house to hang out. I then heard her in the kitchen telling his mom how hard she tried to leave me at the nearest gas station. FML

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

#21182483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44774) - you deserved it (13908)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by misoranomegami (woman) - United States

Today, my dad made the local news. The business he owns is so run down and overgrown that it's officially a public health hazard. FML

#21189640
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40172) - you deserved it (4492)

On 06/26/2014 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)



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