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Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

#14742735
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31633) - you deserved it (3065)

On 01/28/2011 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by bittenbyadonkey (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I bought something special at Victoria's Secret, then sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for 2 hours to get to my boyfriend's house. When I got there, he broke up with me. We're 37 years old and he actually gave me the "it's not you, it's me" speech. FML

#14645700
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29265) - you deserved it (2959)

On 01/20/2011 at 12:04am - love - by singleladynow (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

#15012053
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30294) - you deserved it (4572)

On 02/17/2011 at 1:50am - misc - by YeahItsmecoolhuh (woman) - United Arab Emirates

Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML

#15341897
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28947) - you deserved it (3505)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:50pm - kids - by Abeille (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my house got broken into for the third time. The nice police officer said that if I didn't want my house to keep being robbed I should "Fix the place up so it doesn't look like a crummy vacant building." FML

#15031237
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23077) - you deserved it (7831)

On 02/18/2011 at 8:06pm - misc - by rachel - United States (California)

Today, I made my young niece lunch. After she claimed to have eaten it all, she wanted to go out and play. I was putting my shoes on when I found part of the sandwich I made her stuffed in my shoe. FML

#15784060
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24398) - you deserved it (4444)

On 04/14/2011 at 1:35pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that the peaceful rain I'd been listening to all night was really a broken water-main flooding my entire yard. FML

#16309963
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32149) - you deserved it (3810)

On 05/23/2011 at 6:17am - misc - by elle -

Today, it's been three days since my husband got into free-jazz. He plays all the time in our small apartment. Loud. It's like listening to three guys build a shed for 10 giant angry wasps. FML

#18387801
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19873) - you deserved it (2471)

On 11/29/2011 at 8:53pm - misc - by Geraldine - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I learned that my apartment building has two new tenants: my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé, the guy she cheated on me with. FML

#16076129
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38382) - you deserved it (2911)

On 05/07/2011 at 7:54am - love - by bigcityfail (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after a spate of bad ones, I was in another job interview trying my hardest to give a good impression. After answering a few questions, I realized to my horror that while I was talking I was swiveling my chair from left to right like a nervous child. FML

#19748854
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18189) - you deserved it (4021)

On 06/07/2012 at 8:17am - work - by Swivel - Singapore

Today, my boss called me to his office, and played back a recording of me telling a co-worker that if I still worked there in a year, I would hang myself. He then bitched me out for unprofessional conduct. The taped conversation took place over a year ago, with my recently ex-boyfriend. FML

#16487802
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24584) - you deserved it (6869)

On 06/03/2011 at 7:23pm - work - by janice - United States

Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML

#19336064
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21239) - you deserved it (5111)

On 03/23/2012 at 11:51pm - love - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my first meeting at the university women's group, excited to become a more involved feminist. The first item on the meeting's agenda? The upcoming bake sale. FML

#19415450
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10874) - you deserved it (25522)

On 04/06/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by feminismlol (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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