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Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML

#2780128
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39956) - you deserved it (4131)

On 06/10/2009 at 6:50pm - health - by anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I spent hours arguing with my mother, who claimed I shouldn't make a three hour drive because I wouldn't be able to concentrate for that long. I argued that I was a perfectly capable driver, and left. In the last 2 minutes of the journey, I hit a van and messed up the front of my car. FML

#3466010
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12985) - you deserved it (35403)

On 07/03/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by neverdrivingagain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my grandma gave me a gift (something she has never done before). I was so excited until I found out it was one of her overdue library books on dolphins. I feel so loved. FML

#1620964
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43138) - you deserved it (2645)

On 05/04/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by hawtpinkpanties (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing a game where you ask sexual questions and you have to give an honest answer. At one point, I asked my boyfriend what his favorite position is, to which he quickly answered with no hesitation, "Any one where I don't have to see your face or body." FML

#5369665
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25575) - you deserved it (3834)

On 09/20/2009 at 10:42am - intimacy - by uglyallover (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work my arms were full. I needed to get the door open, so instead of pushing the swing door open with my shoulder, I kicked it open with my foot. Right into my manager's face. FML

#2647799
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34180) - you deserved it (10955)

On 06/05/2009 at 11:36pm - work - by hellogoodbye (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandparents are in town for the weekend and are staying in our guest bedroom. This morning I went upstairs to get a drink of water only to see my 75 year old grandfather standing stark naked with the fridge door open. He then asks me if we have any coffee creamer. FML

#1678195
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43745) - you deserved it (2424)

On 05/05/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I finally got my nametag. I had been using other people's names like Maria and Caie for a week, so I was happy to be called my own name. I put it on and got to work. Ten minutes later, I was called into the office. I got laid off. I got to wear my nametag for 10 minutes. FML

#2733384
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44693) - you deserved it (3265)

On 06/08/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by nametag (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sent my boyfriend some nude pics of me. Later I get a text from my dad asking me when I had gotten a tattoo. FML

#5189
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15632) - you deserved it (47640)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:56am - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, this guy took me to Denny's on a first date and used a 2 for 1 coupon. It was expired. I paid. FML

#17181
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40125) - you deserved it (4470)

On 02/09/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by Nator (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25467) - you deserved it (66212)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, My mom walked in on me and my 2 year crush about to have sex. When she saw us she said "oh I'll just wait outside, I know it wont be long anyway." FML

#93676
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81015) - you deserved it (7349)

On 02/21/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I bragged to a coworker that our boss compliments me constantly on my work performance, my fashion sense, and my trustworthiness. She then directed me to a "neighborhood watch" website. My boss is a registered sex offender. FML

#239569
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50567) - you deserved it (7250)

On 03/08/2009 at 12:47am - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a email from my boss. He said he was going to have to let me go for missing so much work over the last week. I was laid off two months ago. I don't know what is more depressing, getting fired from a job twice or the fact it took two months for them to notice I wasn't there anymore. FML

#1189537
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60684) - you deserved it (2992)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:11am - work - by laxguy23 (man) - United States (Virginia)



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