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Today, I realized that the cute freckle I noticed a few weeks ago is actually a giant blackhead. FML

#7034832
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10170) - you deserved it (22403)

On 12/30/2009 at 12:26pm - health - by baybuh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and realized I have experienced my first "nocturnal emission". I am a 24 year old male who has been married for 3 months. Guess who isn't getting any. FML

#7025515
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15075) - you deserved it (2530)

On 12/29/2009 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

#6824499
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31159) - you deserved it (2561)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw the girl I had confessed my love to two years ago on the bus. We chatted for a few minutes and she got off on the first stop, saying that this is where she had to get off. Twenty minutes later, I see her in the bus next to mine. The bus number was 20. Like mine. FML

#6917396
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24158) - you deserved it (4881)

On 12/24/2009 at 4:35am - love - by busrides (man) - United States (California)

Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML

#7124600
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25558) - you deserved it (5706)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:28am - health - by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML

#7254333
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23142) - you deserved it (3405)

On 01/10/2010 at 5:45am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that you need to clean your car more often when you find a mouldy burrito under the back seat. FML

#7560337
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4611) - you deserved it (30030)

On 01/25/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

#14019566
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22609) - you deserved it (3102)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by AntiAxe -

Today, I met my recently divorced mother's new boyfriend. He is missing teeth and has long hair and a mangy beard. Horrified, I left the room, only to hear my mother telling my sister, "The sex is phenomenal!" FML

#12550776
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29658) - you deserved it (2933)

On 08/16/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my parents finally invited my boyfriend over for dinner. Everything was going great until my mother asked him his profession. He stuffed his mouth full of lasagna, snorted, and then responded, "I clean shit for a living." FML

#14256786
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14161) - you deserved it (21929)

On 12/19/2010 at 2:46am - love - by lovecrisis247 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. She wants to try dating women. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

#13857180
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39468) - you deserved it (5929)

On 11/15/2010 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to my parents' place to visit. My ex-boyfriend's photo is on the fridge, but there aren't any photos of my husband or any of our wedding photos. FML

#13167101
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29304) - you deserved it (2607)

On 09/23/2010 at 5:59am - misc - by annoyed - United States (California)



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