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Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML

#17480180
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26515) - you deserved it (9227)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by blah (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

#17362990
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32562) - you deserved it (11421)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:00am - intimacy - by laughingflame - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML

#17735625
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22158) - you deserved it (3562)

On 09/13/2011 at 10:48am - health - by .. - United States (Florida)

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22689) - you deserved it (7197)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom told me that she rather wait for the city bus all day, than allow me to give her a ride. FML

#20052248
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15866) - you deserved it (3095)

On 09/01/2012 at 9:58am - misc - by Chucho - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML

#19366702
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6051) - you deserved it (24104)

On 03/28/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by Cass - Australia

Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the back-rest fell apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to "stop fucking about." FML

#19598076
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19936) - you deserved it (1724)

On 05/09/2012 at 4:10pm - work - by dan (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML

#19820336
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20057) - you deserved it (3387)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:27pm - misc - by punchedhelper (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML

#20182071
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7910) - you deserved it (27993)

On 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm - work - by jkmartinjk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was pulled over and administered a sobriety test due to an officer's suspicion that I was driving under the influence. I was completely sober, and, apparently, I suck at driving. FML

#20401642
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18637) - you deserved it (10479)

On 12/16/2012 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss bitched at me because my body language "indicates that you don't enjoy doing your job". I just have scoliosis. FML

#19972077
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23533) - you deserved it (1383)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:50am - work - by c - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my intoxicated husband asked my very conservative parents how their sex life is now that all the kids are out of the house. FML

#20088791
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23662) - you deserved it (2745)

On 09/25/2012 at 9:48pm - intimacy - by kiwi2323 (woman) - United States

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

#20096305
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19433) - you deserved it (1674)

On 10/01/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Prae - United States (Texas)



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