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Today, my girlfriend and I went out for ice cream. We somehow started talking about which of our relatives had died. Right when she was talking about how her grandfather had died, I started laughing. She had gotten ice cream all over her face. She broke up with me. FML

#13431152
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9616) - you deserved it (34598)

On 10/13/2010 at 5:02am - love - by your mother (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I planned on introducing my fiancé to my parents. After the introductions, and telling him how I hoped our relationship would have the same amount of love and commitment that has lasted my mother and father for 25 years, my parents awkwardly announced their imminent divorce. FML

#14638610
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29130) - you deserved it (2652)

On 01/19/2011 at 12:45pm - love - by TearfulDaughter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day as a promoted manager. I got fired for being late. FML

#14242813
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9394) - you deserved it (36759)

On 12/18/2010 at 1:03am - work - by Pouya - United States

Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML

#12714579
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30413) - you deserved it (4381)

On 08/24/2010 at 1:52am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML

#15290209
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23785) - you deserved it (13438)

On 03/13/2011 at 3:39am - misc - by Sparks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting my chest waxed. The woman dipped the stick into the wax and hit her elbow, making wax fall into my eyes. FML

#14403675
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30198) - you deserved it (3267)

On 12/31/2010 at 12:58am - health - by Nickolas - United States

Today, I did a quick load of laundry so I would have work clothes for the week. I don't have my own dryer so I dried them in the one in my building. After running out to my car, I came back to find that my neighborhood kids had added 6 sharpies to my clothes. Every uniform I own has stripes. FML

#12957316
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21604) - you deserved it (2787)

On 09/08/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by arose - United States

Today, while my friend and I signed the guest-book at a wedding, the drunk guy at our table stole my friend's painkillers and car keys before getting into a cab. Didn't need the painkillers, definitely needed the keys. FML

#13259965
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20053) - you deserved it (2423)

On 09/30/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by strandedguest (woman) - United States

Today, I grabbed a handful of crackers from the kitchen, only to find it crawling with bugs. Apparently, my brother had made the same discovery earlier, but put the box of crackers back in the cupboard anyway. FML

#13129116
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24345) - you deserved it (2580)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:26pm - animals - by thanksbro - United States (Michigan)

Today, on my way home from a Christmas party, the cab I was in was hit in the side. After making sure everyone was okay, the cab driver informed me that I'd still have to pay the cab fare, which he'd kept running. FML

Today, because I have a beach party tomorrow, I used a new gel that is supposed to prevent razor burn after shaving the bikini line. Turns out I'm highly allergic to the gel. Now I have hundreds of beautiful red bumps that look like razor burn. FML

#12989676
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21155) - you deserved it (3829)

On 09/10/2010 at 12:13pm - health - by moncheri1314 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my parents didn't come to my wedding not because they couldn't make it, but rather that my younger brother didn't want to go. FML

#14365094
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30720) - you deserved it (2176)

On 12/28/2010 at 1:54am - misc - by SharpeOne -

Today, while waiting on the platform, a blind man asked out loud for some help getting into the subway car. I helped him through the doors and into a seat. I decided to sit down as well. Twenty minutes later, I realized I was on the wrong subway line. FML

#13182714
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22461) - you deserved it (6048)

On 09/24/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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