Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I helped my fiancé pack up and head to Texas for a business trip. I'm not only going to miss him, but I'll also miss my car keys that I accidentally left in his car. I drive for a living. FML

#12004673
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25035) - you deserved it (14072)

On 07/20/2010 at 3:01pm - love - by Ohshucks! - United States

Today, I was coaching at a swim meet. I heard a few of my swimmers screaming about a huge wasp on my head, so I told everyone to stay calm because we didn't want to upset the wasp. Unfortunately, I was interrupted by another coach from our team hitting me repeatedly on the head with a clipboard. FML

#12251275
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27964) - you deserved it (2656)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:20pm - health - by Doodle (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there awhile. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for "help". FML

#14254950
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25697) - you deserved it (3965)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out apparently I sleep walk. My boyfriend has been filming me and uploading it all to Youtube. FML

#14356668
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27327) - you deserved it (4109)

On 12/27/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I walk out of my apartment to find that my car is decorated with explicit drawings and "Happy 21st birthday" stuff written all over it. To top it off, my vehicle is completely wrapped in plastic wrap. I'm 22 and my birthday is in December. FML

#8992744
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23528) - you deserved it (1828)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:04am - misc - by er1133 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML

#18763079
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22406) - you deserved it (2052)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:25am - work - by jumbledgirl (woman) - United States

Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say "Hello, my name is-" I sneezed right in her face. FML

#13686698
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22538) - you deserved it (5752)

On 11/02/2010 at 10:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I called a guy who had requested a free marketing consultation for his funeral home through the internet a couple of days ago. When I got through, the receptionist seemed a little taken back by me wanting to talk to him. He had died and was buried yesterday. FML

#13711019
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20503) - you deserved it (2338)

On 11/04/2010 at 2:41am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I learned that you can be qualified for a position, be a nice person and enthusiastic about working, but as soon as the boss has a relative looking for a job, nepotism wins. FML

#14197641
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25045) - you deserved it (2366)

On 12/14/2010 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was going to meet my friend at a concert. I got there before her, so I went in to check out the local bands that were playing before the headliner. When she got there, I went just outside the building to give her a ticket. The security guards wouldn't let me back in. She went in anyway. FML

#12850151
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23482) - you deserved it (6171)

On 09/01/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by deserted - Sent from mobile version

Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML

#13567448
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33357) - you deserved it (2355)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that the reason I'm working as a kitchen staff instead of out on the floor of the café is because the boss does not think I'm attractive enough. My boss is my brother. FML

#13561259
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27199) - you deserved it (3600)

On 10/23/2010 at 11:13am - work - by Dude - Singapore

Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML

#14842863
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25238) - you deserved it (6385)

On 02/04/2011 at 7:05pm - misc - by nosleep (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: