Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I showed by ID to get into a bar and the bouncer kept it because he said it wasn't me. It was. Apparently I've gained so much weight I am unrecognizable. FML

#4125709
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33386) - you deserved it (13476)

On 07/29/2009 at 1:53am - misc - by jcesom - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was paying for coffee and accidentally touched hands with the girl behind the counter. As I was walking home, I realised that was the closest I've been to getting laid in two years. FML

#5661847
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19034) - you deserved it (3942)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by swedishguy (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years decided to start an online blog about his life. He mentioned his cars, his friends and even his staff. I was never mentioned. FML

#5840285
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23157) - you deserved it (4203)

On 10/15/2009 at 7:11am - love - by Forgotten One - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought a nice new dress for a work party. But when I went in, a coworker hurried me into the bathroom saying, "Don't worry we can fix this." She thought someone had been sick on me. Thanks. That was just the pattern of the dress. FML

#6023107
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23559) - you deserved it (6398)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:43pm - work - by yper (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML

#5939502
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24564) - you deserved it (4035)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Chris (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I let my dad borrow my car. I found out a few hours later that he has had a suspended license for three years. How did I find out? He got pulled over and arrested. My car was also impounded. I'm a college student barely making it as it is. Guess who can't afford the impound fees? FML

#6256423
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28241) - you deserved it (2666)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by brokeasajoke (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went over to my best friend's house only to have his little brother run up to us and confess his love to me. His little brother is twelve and I've tutored him for a year. I'm seventeen and male. Now my best friend thinks I 'taught' him something weird. He won't talk to me. FML

#6422707
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24395) - you deserved it (1628)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by Yue (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that some men think it's ok to clip their fingernails, at the table, in a restaurant, on a first date. FML

#6420618
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34504) - you deserved it (2401)

On 11/23/2009 at 5:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my dad offered to take me and my sister to school because we just moved houses. On the way, he asked us why we looked so tired. We just said we were tired from moving house. Truth is, our room is right next to theirs. We heard everything. Loud and clear. FML

#6604367
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14776) - you deserved it (1499)

On 12/04/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML

#6388093
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36717) - you deserved it (2176)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:00am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say "hi" to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML

#6177854
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25541) - you deserved it (1830)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by ForgottenKid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML

#6211004
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22308) - you deserved it (7027)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML

#6532125
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21067) - you deserved it (1782)

On 11/30/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by NeedHeadPhone (man) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: