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Today, When Putting Something Away On A High Shelf, Something Small An Black Fell Down My Cleavage. I Thought Nothing Of It An Finished The Task At Hand. When I Pulled Out The Neck Of My Shirt Later To Fine It An Looked Down, Glaring Up At Me From My Boobs Was A Large, Disgruntled Spider. Real FML

#6401291
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23751) - you deserved it (4245)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Arachnaphobic (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received ma camera in te mail. I ad sent it back to te company because it wouldn't turn on. As I was reading te note tey putted in, it said, "Battery was putted in backwards. No oter problem found." FML

#6680274
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5668) - you deserved it (41671)

On 12/09/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by her0x3her0ine617 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my grlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. mega FML

#6532401
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36401) - you deserved it (2853)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

2day I was texting tis cute guy tat I like. After a couple of minutes I get a missed call from im, I call back an is grlfriend answers an says "Hi tis is is grlfriend, please stop calling im". FML

#6612429
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12637) - you deserved it (27883)

On 12/05/2009 at 3:44am - love - by JennyAndrews (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, ma family an I were decorating te Cristma tree. It seemd a bit unstable, but we decoratd it witout any problems. Later, wile ma daugter sat by te tree, it began to fall. Her grandmoter stoppd te tree from itting er. I, on te oter and, screamd lyk a little girl. I'm a 38 year old guy. FML

#6763164
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7625) - you deserved it (29305)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by wjones (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was praparing fir a huga party I'va baan looking forward to fir months. I did all tha usual things a grl should do, puttd on a facamask, paintd my nails, axfoliatd... I was faaling confidant until I paald off tha facamask. I guass whan it said "vibrant" what it maant was bright rd. FML

#6705319
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21066) - you deserved it (7674)

On 12/11/2009 at 2:50am - health - by ouch (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today... it's mah brthday... and apparently mah family forgot it. But one person didn't forget. My dog gave me a little present in mah new shoes I bought 4 myself. FML

#6831134
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29298) - you deserved it (1999)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44pm - animals - by googly191 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, mah little brother punched me in the stomach!! When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I decided to be funny and tell him I was Iron Man and nothing could hurt me!! Two seconds later he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could!! FML

#6753896
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11364) - you deserved it (34601)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

TODAY, I DISCOVERD THAT MY BD HAS A FLEA INFESTATION. I DISCOVERD IT AFTER SLEEPING NAKD IN IT 4 ABOUT AN HOUR. FML

#6883824
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24801) - you deserved it (5381)

On 12/22/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today , I introduced mah family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. big fat FML

#6933168
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29169) - you deserved it (10499)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)

Taday I got mah looool car back from the repair shop . After paying $400 4 them to fix the scratches on the driver's side door, some one decided to key both sides of mah car while I was on mah lunch break from work . FML

#7199217
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26724) - you deserved it (2517)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:42pm - money - by Animal_aide (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Taday whilst at mah boyfriand's family gat togathar his cousin got raally drunk an dacidad to ask mah boyfriand whan ha was planning on proposing to ma loud anough fir avaryona to haar. An awkward silanca was followad by mah boyfriand's mothar who claarly said ( hopafully navar. ) maga FML

#7118046
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33456) - you deserved it (2338)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:53am - love - by embarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)



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