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Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

#23513
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13239) - you deserved it (29624)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by tylerlove361 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friends stomach. It was my Principal. FML

#24455
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26284) - you deserved it (16353)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by da man (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I lost 200 dollars while playing poker with my new sunglasses. Turns out you can see the cards in the reflection. FML

#52319
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12911) - you deserved it (75247)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by jwz (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was working at Coldstone. When a customer tips us we are required to sing. A late night DJ came in, put 20 dollars in the tip cup, and asked to hear every song we had. After we sang one song he looked at me and asked me to please stop singing or he was taking his money back. FML

#432216
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58220) - you deserved it (8471)

On 03/18/2009 at 1:05am - work - by Rev (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML

#614734
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77716) - you deserved it (4574)

On 03/25/2009 at 11:45pm - kids - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom asked me to look through old VHS tapes to throw away, I found one that said "Ashley's kindergarten Play-'95", I put the tape in, it begins to play, only to see "Days of our lives", "Melrose Place", and "ER". My childhood memories are ranked lower than tv shows. FML

#863008
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56763) - you deserved it (3361)

On 04/07/2009 at 10:53pm - love - by 4gottenmemories (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

#1339602
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45133) - you deserved it (16262)

On 04/25/2009 at 11:10pm - animals - by poopedon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss hired a feng shui consultant for our small office space. I am the only full-time employee besides the owners, and I work as an unpaid intern. My company would rather pay someone to rearrange my desk than pay me to work at it. FML

#3122883
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42737) - you deserved it (4016)

On 06/22/2009 at 4:06pm - work - by Goldo (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I recieved a phone call from a cruise line I had travelled on with my parents a year ago. After being told I had won a free $2,000 cruise from a sweepstakes I had entered while on the cruise. After celebrating loudly they informed me that you have to be 23 or older to collect it. I'm 17. FML

#3095885
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40204) - you deserved it (5573)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by Lucky (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

#5822673
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23950) - you deserved it (12972)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went into work to change a shift I was unable to work. I phone the first person on the employee sheet and they promptly answer by saying "You still work here? I thought the manager fired you..." I was fired last week and have been showing up for shifts without anybody noticing. FML

#3572353
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42699) - you deserved it (5587)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:21am - work - by mannnnn (man) -

Today, I was getting off of work, talking to my boss and I asked if I could get a ride home, since my usual ride was too lazy to come get me. He said, sure, but to be really careful since he just had his car detailed. I was getting in the car, tripped and threw my hot cocoa all inside of his car. FML

#2304527
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44867) - you deserved it (19754)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:18am - work - by Leo_RxXx (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML

#3230818
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49357) - you deserved it (6200)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Ipickthegoodones (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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