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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML

#6505473
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27789) - you deserved it (6976)

On 11/29/2009 at 12:16am - love - by random123 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML

#6687460
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17260) - you deserved it (3823)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I didn't get promoted, but the guy who showed up to work drunk a few weeks ago did. FML

#6691372
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29232) - you deserved it (2582)

On 12/10/2009 at 5:38am - work - by Hmmwtf (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

#6793560
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12442) - you deserved it (23798)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

#6857935
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24776) - you deserved it (2667)

On 12/21/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by goblue (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received a $105 parking ticket for being in a handicapped space. The lines were covered by snow, and the sign was on the building twenty feet away. FML

#7029804
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27485) - you deserved it (4673)

On 12/30/2009 at 3:23am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finished my position paper for my social studies class and read it to my mom to get her opinion on it. After I'm done reading it, she asks me if I copied it from somewhere because it sounded very professional and smart, and it didn't sound like me. FML

#7313469
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23788) - you deserved it (3001)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:08am - misc - by SMRT (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML

#7366734
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4439) - you deserved it (33890)

On 01/15/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by mah (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was at the theatre watching a movie. There was a lady and a kid behind me. I all of a sudden felt ice hit my head. I turned around and asked the kid to stop, then heard his mom say, "Hit that cow!" FML

#7962696
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26217) - you deserved it (2370)

On 02/07/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by HitbyIce (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend when he reminded me that I needed to cut my toe nails. FML

#8062082
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7302) - you deserved it (13560)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. FML

#7670989
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19291) - you deserved it (3137)

On 01/29/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by anonymas (woman) - Norway (Troms)

Today, I woke up to find my power was out. After taking a shower in the dark and being unable to make myself lunch, my power came on two minutes before I had to leave for school. FML

#10669832
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23876) - you deserved it (3542)

On 05/21/2010 at 3:12pm - misc - by Samuel (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom called asking for advice on how to flirt with her personal trainer. I thought she was joking and asked her what Dad would think. Turns out they're getting divorced. They decided this three weeks ago. No one told me. FML

#8396917
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25867) - you deserved it (1676)

On 02/18/2010 at 1:06am - misc - by ApparentlyEmo (woman) - United States (New York)



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