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Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML

#6067303
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36614) - you deserved it (2152)

On 10/30/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by legotron (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

#5968472
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31127) - you deserved it (3151)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the movies with the guy I have been in love with for a long time. I laid my head on his shoulder and he held my hand throughout the movie. Afterwards he asked me for advice on the girl he likes. Apparently she isn't talking to him anymore. FML

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

#6441636
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28969) - you deserved it (1831)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by CT (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then goes on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML

#6414325
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7182) - you deserved it (37265)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:45pm - misc - by drunkennight (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was lost in a new town, so I asked a woman for directions. For some reason, she seemed to avoid me. About halfway down the block, she quickly turned around, and the next thing I remember is my eyes stinging like hell. Apparently she thought I was a mugger and maced me. FML

#6113652
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26255) - you deserved it (3475)

On 11/02/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I have to go to the dentist to get a tooth capped. Why? Because my room mate knows I sleepwalk and thought it would be funny to put a trip wire across the top of the stairs. It worked. FML

#6359695
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28752) - you deserved it (2077)

On 11/18/2009 at 8:30pm - health - by CB (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend only stayed with me because he didn't want to "be alone," and now that he has a new girlfriend, apparently he won't be. We were together for three and a half years. FML

#6225204
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29566) - you deserved it (2735)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:24am - love - by LasagnaRawks (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I finally got my wish of having snow on my birthday. Excited, I failed to realise this meant that no one could come to my party, including myself as we were all snowed out of town. What did I spend my 18th doing? Tidying our house. FML

#6881049
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24564) - you deserved it (3344)

On 12/22/2009 at 7:15am - misc - by JD300 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned my wife wasn't speaking to me because our daughter told her I kissed another woman. My daughter neglected to mention that this happened when she came to work with me yesterday, and the kiss was between me and the dummy I use to teach my interns CPR. My wife doesn't believe me. FML

#6581083
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36527) - you deserved it (2352)

On 12/03/2009 at 6:34am - love - by fmldr (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML

#6550671
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11698) - you deserved it (29698)

On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after having an amazing intimate encounter with my boyfriend of 2 years, I put on an old pair of boxers I still have from when I was heavier. He thinks I am cheating on him and doesn't believe I used to be fat. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#6908981
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20602) - you deserved it (3677)

On 12/23/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by everybodysfool (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I leave Ireland after a 5 month study abroad. Today also happens to be the day that the price of alcohol decreases by 30%, the dollar increases by 15% and the girl I have been chasing the whole time, to no avail, finally decides to show an interest in me. FML

#6786909
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38018) - you deserved it (2589)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:00am - money - by exchange (man) - Ireland (Limerick)



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