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Today, I was in my Cosmetic Application class, and we were about to apply foundation to our models. I walk over to my friend and say "Wow, that foundation is really orange and blotchy." Then the model turns to me and says "Actually, we haven't started yet... that's just my skin." FML

#2073972
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14169) - you deserved it (54486)

On 05/19/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML

#2367025
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13620) - you deserved it (44029)

On 05/28/2009 at 3:14am - health - by KKimrae_ness (woman) - United States (California)

Today, for the first time in over a year, my mother actually called me. I excitedly picked up the phone. All I heard was rustling; her purse dialed me. FML

#2851443
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50286) - you deserved it (2894)

On 06/13/2009 at 3:10am - love - by slukaa (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML

#117948
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45091) - you deserved it (7032)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Originality18 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML

#102962
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65282) - you deserved it (5179)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:10am - intimacy - by Charles (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I found an email he had written to an ex-fling telling her he was single and wanted to meet up. He wrote that email from my computer, in my apartment, on Valentine's Day. FML

#197366
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75083) - you deserved it (3445)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by JTo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my brother's new girlfriend, who is blind, asked to feel my face so she could tell what I look like. She said I was "unique". A blind chick just told me I was ugly. FML

#267398
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60464) - you deserved it (4933)

On 03/11/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by GreenScar (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML

#273030
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30094) - you deserved it (65762)

On 03/11/2009 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by SoggyPancakes (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my boyfriend "we need to talk". He said "i know". So we met after school, and he said he was ok with me breaking up with him, that he wasn't that into me either. He said all that before I could tell him that my parents wanted to meet him. FML

#318032
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67318) - you deserved it (9854)

On 03/14/2009 at 5:46am - love - by knee2tak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a birthday party for my friend's daughter. I picked up a gift for the girl and another for her parents. I got the mother a cute little garden stone that read "What our children see in the world depends on what we show them." Later, I found out her daughter is blind. FML

#334841
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64687) - you deserved it (15817)

On 03/15/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at lunch with my grandpa and my sister. My grandpa looks over at my sister and says, "Wow. You're so beautiful." Right after, he turns to me and says, "And you have a nice coat." FML

#517502
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60096) - you deserved it (3795)

On 03/21/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by al0406 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had artfully managed to avoid anyone knowing that I was moving into a trailer park. I showed up at the trailer where all my friends, co-workers, and exes were waiting. My parents knew I was feeling down and wanted to throw me a surprise 'moving in' party. FML

#495382
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61042) - you deserved it (4230)

On 03/20/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by TrailerTrash (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my two year old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML

#940357
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38642) - you deserved it (23833)

On 04/12/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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