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Today, I recieved a phone call from a good guy friend of mine, someone I haven't seen for years. He tells me he has "deep" feelings for me, and wants to know since my husband is deployed, if it would be okay if we "dated" because he told his parents I'm his girlfriend. FML

#6821987
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30969) - you deserved it (2387)

On 12/19/2009 at 12:52am - love - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to have a midnight snack. I figured I knew my own house well enough to leave the lights off so my mom wouldn't wake up. Chuckling at the brilliance of my plan, I walked straight into a doorframe and bust up my nose. FML

#7031630
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6984) - you deserved it (25555)

On 12/30/2009 at 6:30am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML

#7100685
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18285) - you deserved it (6430)

On 01/02/2010 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Lonely (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while arguing with my boyfriend about how I wasn't a bad driver and could parallel park, I decided it was easier to just let him do it. Unfortunately, while getting out of the car to switch seats, I forgot to take the car out of drive and it ran into the car in front of us. He was right. FML

#7244801
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5467) - you deserved it (26561)

On 01/09/2010 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML

#7451202
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17999) - you deserved it (4119)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by wasntworththedrive (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

#7327213
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6856) - you deserved it (34987)

On 01/13/2010 at 9:04pm - misc - by nekkiddrunk - United States

Today, I went on an interview for a job that I had been wanting for months. I thought everything was going great. On my way out, my interviewer asked me to recycle something for him. I agreed. It was my resume. FML

#7324438
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30350) - you deserved it (1831)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:05pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I confessed my love to a guy I've been flirting with for months. He then decided to reject me through a poem on Facebook for all of our friends to read. FML

#7255685
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26217) - you deserved it (3584)

On 01/10/2010 at 9:48am - love - by VAngelique (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out the guy I've been seeing for 3 months lives at home with his parents. He's 30. They live in a '50+ only' housing complex and he sneaks in the side door. FML

#7313507
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27131) - you deserved it (3554)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:11am - love - by ilu.xo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at the theatre watching a movie. There was a lady and a kid behind me. I all of a sudden felt ice hit my head. I turned around and asked the kid to stop, then heard his mom say, "Hit that cow!" FML

#7962696
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26257) - you deserved it (2370)

On 02/07/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by HitbyIce (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my brother blew chunks into the inside of my jeans. How did I find this out? I put them on. FML

#8819162
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22506) - you deserved it (2485)

On 03/04/2010 at 6:24am - misc - by AZN656 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had a big meeting. Half way through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-worker but I didn't understand what he meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML

#7809149
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20931) - you deserved it (4111)

On 02/02/2010 at 6:25am - work - by paul - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to pick up my car from where I parked it last night. I walked over to my parking spot only to find a vegetable stand there in its place. Apparently, that's the location of the Saturday Market and they had my car towed. FML

#13292359
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10184) - you deserved it (21624)

On 10/02/2010 at 6:07pm - money - by hunnybaby0319 - United States (New York)



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