Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my parents met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. They not only brought along embarrassing childhood photos of myself, they'd 'accidentally' placed an intimate photo of me and my ex-girlfriend with them. That was their subtle way of telling everyone they prefer my ex. FML

#5772733
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33387) - you deserved it (2648)

On 10/11/2009 at 7:25am - love - by hateparents (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at the gas station I work a lady called wanting to know the "password" and if I was okay. Thinking it was a prank I hung up. A couple of minutes later she called back, this time asking if I could see the cops outside and telling me I'd be alright. I saw four of 'em. I'd hit the silent alarm by accident. FML

#4649548
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11877) - you deserved it (32837)

On 08/19/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Keldar (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed that my clothes had shrunk. My mother seemed to be having trouble with the new washer and dryer so I tried to show her exactly how they work. After my explanation she said "I know how they work. I shrank your clothes to give you some incentive to lose all that belly you got." FML

#5827048
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23911) - you deserved it (6454)

On 10/14/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by thelandofoz - United States (Florida)

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML

#4376703
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9027) - you deserved it (38155)

On 08/08/2009 at 1:04am - work - by ilikemusicokay (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, whilst babysitting, I broke a glass. I explained to the kid that it was very important not to walk barefoot around where it had happened, because of the tiny bits of glass. He jumped back, scared, and while doing so tripped. I rushed to help him and ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML

#4467592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36206) - you deserved it (10739)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:20am - misc - by ohdang (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roomate thought it would be funny to take pictures of my morning wood and put it up on Facebook for everyone to see. FML

#5680173
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20679) - you deserved it (2685)

On 10/06/2009 at 9:53am - intimacy - by Crappit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to crown the homecoming queen, a responsibility of mine as class president. It just happened to be that the queen is my ex-girlfriend that I still love, escorted by her new boyfriend. FML

#5786239
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33550) - you deserved it (3414)

On 10/11/2009 at 10:48pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I showed by ID to get into a bar and the bouncer kept it because he said it wasn't me. It was. Apparently I've gained so much weight I am unrecognizable. FML

#4125709
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33379) - you deserved it (13476)

On 07/29/2009 at 1:53am - misc - by jcesom - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was paying for coffee and accidentally touched hands with the girl behind the counter. As I was walking home, I realised that was the closest I've been to getting laid in two years. FML

#5661847
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19030) - you deserved it (3942)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by swedishguy (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years decided to start an online blog about his life. He mentioned his cars, his friends and even his staff. I was never mentioned. FML

#5840285
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23151) - you deserved it (4203)

On 10/15/2009 at 7:11am - love - by Forgotten One - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought a nice new dress for a work party. But when I went in, a coworker hurried me into the bathroom saying, "Don't worry we can fix this." She thought someone had been sick on me. Thanks. That was just the pattern of the dress. FML

#6023107
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23554) - you deserved it (6396)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:43pm - work - by yper (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML

#5939502
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24559) - you deserved it (4035)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Chris (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that wiggle under the blanket. FML

#5903153
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17870) - you deserved it (3144)

On 10/19/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by JohnB (man) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: