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Today, a flight attendant asked me if I was airsick because I looked really pale. I told her that was my normal complexion but thanked her for her concern. She insisted "No, that can't be normal." FML

#23429
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35680) - you deserved it (2386)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by Casper (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML

#21964
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37098) - you deserved it (3047)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by herpderp (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML

#138318
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14158) - you deserved it (68346)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:01pm - intimacy - by banana (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend said that being with me was his payment for past sins. FML

#134361
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48526) - you deserved it (5482)

On 02/25/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by sadgf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at their family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4-year old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say "You're fat! I like fat things." FML

#159579
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50223) - you deserved it (5090)

On 02/28/2009 at 5:52am - misc - by Judiee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as a veteran blood donor, I made a friend who was donating for the first time- I told her not to be scared and that I've been doing it for six years and that it was a great way to help people. While at the snack area afterwards, I passed out, started convulsing and went into shock. FML

#573136
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64391) - you deserved it (6804)

On 03/24/2009 at 8:43am - health - by bridalqueen (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML

#1213671
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54079) - you deserved it (5038)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by stanky (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in an elevator with my family and a family I didn't know. I was about to press the number when somebody came up behind me. I thought it was my brother trying to press the number first, so I aggressivly pushed him out of the way. Turns out it was the other family's ten year old son. FML

#1312946
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9601) - you deserved it (54950)

On 04/25/2009 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I decided to modify my resume since I've handed out over 30 of them in the past couple of weeks and I haven't gotten any calls back. As soon as I opened it on word document, I noticed that I had forgotten to include my phone number for employers to contact me. FML

#1630786
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11729) - you deserved it (67915)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:15pm - work - by Loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother called me a bad son for not telling her "Happy Mother's Day". When I told her Mother's Day wasn't until the 10th, she said that I would have forgotten anyway. FML

#1749073
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49586) - you deserved it (2627)

On 05/08/2009 at 2:14pm - misc - by Aisu (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my family returned from a holiday in Egypt. A holiday that I really wanted to spend with them. As if leaving me behind wasn't bad enough, they then made me watch a 200 picture slideshow of how much fun they had. FML

#2206074
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43807) - you deserved it (3270)

On 05/23/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by MdT (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, the bank called saying we were late in the mortgage payments. I was puzzled because three months ago I issued a big cheque to my mum pay off the mortgage. I just discovered that she instead lost it all at the casino. Turns out, she's become a compulsive gambler ever since dad passed away. FML

#4853130
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45378) - you deserved it (3364)

On 08/27/2009 at 1:53am - money - by smoothcoffee (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was awakened by the sound of chain-saws. Moments later a tree branch came through my roof. FML

#5040554
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42247) - you deserved it (1820)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by 1ndustrytx (man) - United States (Texas)



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