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Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

#2422362
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43329) - you deserved it (3735)

On 05/30/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by mraow123 (man) - United States

Today, I crapped in my pants and had to wait an hour of commuting till I could clean it up. What a sight and smell it was on the subway. Thank God I had sunglasses to wear. FML

#2443
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8487) - you deserved it (22220)

On 01/24/2009 at 1:56pm - love - by screwed - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I applied for a job in an Italian restaurant. Ideally I wanted to be a hostess rather than a waitress, and I told the manager as much. His response? "No no no. Hostess no good for you. We leave that to the pretty girls." FML

#121635
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43689) - you deserved it (3380)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:37am - work - by Ren (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got to my underground parking garage at work and saw my boss pulling into a spot. I thought I would show him my reverse parking skills and decided to park beside him. As I was pulling in he opened his door to get out and I smashed into it, nearly running him over. FML

#488683
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13749) - you deserved it (61887)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by mikej1985 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend after driving 200 miles to see him. While arguing, I told him I never wanted to see him again and left after slamming the front door. I left my car keys in his kitchen. FML

#768625
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17040) - you deserved it (52699)

On 04/02/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by nokeys (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to visit. We went to a cafe where I managed to lock myself in the toilet, breaking the key. I then had to wait for them to break down the door. I came out to applause from everyone, who had been laughing at me for 25 minutes. FML

#3770832
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29311) - you deserved it (4272)

On 07/15/2009 at 10:29am - misc - by FML (woman) - Syrian Arab Republic (Dimashq)

Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML

#5409336
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33712) - you deserved it (6659)

On 09/22/2009 at 2:20am - money - by robbedonCTA (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a resident went missing at our nursing home. When I found him, a man in a blue shirt and red pants, he started yelling at me in confusion. I just thought it was his alzheimers. When I brought him to my administrator, I was told the missing resident was wearing a red shirt and blue pants. Wrong guy. FML

#3933300
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15776) - you deserved it (34201)

On 07/21/2009 at 4:22pm - health - by torkx3 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend threw me a going-away party. During the party, I caught him in my bedroom hooking up with my friend because "you're leaving soon anyway so it doesn't matter." I'll only be gone for 6 weeks. FML

#4694053
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34975) - you deserved it (2557)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by lonelyinlondon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

#6644248
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7153) - you deserved it (34246)

On 12/07/2009 at 12:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was using a Kodak Picture Maker in Walmart. I needed help using the machine so the lady that works there came over and tried to load my pictures. I heard some snickering behind me from the people in line. Turns out the pictures loaded. Even the nude ones I forgot about. FML

#5064237
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5277) - you deserved it (32452)

On 09/05/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by indecentcameraexposure (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I invited over 30 people to come to the park with me since the day was nice and cool. I sat there for three hours by myself. FML

#5579057
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30696) - you deserved it (4200)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent all day at the hospital with my grandma for some tests. When I drove her back home she decided to thank me with $50. Knowing she is unemployed, I told her I couldn't take a whole $50. She replied with "Ungrateful, just like your mother", then took the money and left. FML

#5136505
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28163) - you deserved it (2789)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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