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Today, on a flight, I needed to use the restroom. The passenger next to me was in a deep sleep, and was very large, so I couldn't get out by climbing over him. The urge got severe, so I resorted to tapping him on the shoulder. Turns out he had some nice reflexes and hit me in the face. FML

#21229781
71 comments

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37598) - you deserved it (6750)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, my boyfriend was giving me a back massage while I was laying on my stomach. A few minutes into it, he stopped. I turned around to see why; he was taking a picture of my butt. FML

#21290182
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29191) - you deserved it (6434)

On 11/02/2014 at 12:51am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36620) - you deserved it (3467)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, I arrived at the station at 7:30pm sharp for the train... which was cancelled. FML

#9
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52272) - you deserved it (14910)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:21am - misc - by RatQuiRit -

Today, I tried demonstrate to my little brother that, unlike what he sees in cartoons, it is impossible to slip on a banana peel. I'm not too sure he's convinced. FML

#336
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7684) - you deserved it (31105)

On 11/18/2008 at 10:44pm - kids - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, my philosophy teacher asked me about my parents. I replied that my mum was a cleaner and my dad was a bus driver. In an astonished voice, she said, "But, you're clever..." FML

#434
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30076) - you deserved it (1885)

On 12/02/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by lamb-chop - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to clean my room, find a job and ask a girl on a date. I ended up playing video games online. FML

#1399
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8727) - you deserved it (38862)

On 01/16/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20967) - you deserved it (9832)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was eating at Steak N' Shake. I noticed that the cute waitress was checking me out. When I was done with my meal she wrote her number on the ticket. So, as I was walking out the door, I turned around to wave at her, and walked into a metal bar next to the door. FML

#333270
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46997) - you deserved it (22423)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:20am - love - by Raw95 (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I donated blood for the first time, and all the nurses kept complimenting on how good my veins were. That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in the past 2 months. FML

#1614849
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50120) - you deserved it (3919)

On 05/04/2009 at 12:40am - health - by lsta (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my job as a cashier, a man and his 3-year old son got in line. The father said, "Give this to the pretty lady," looking at me. The kid looks at me, looks at his dad, and walks over to the next cashier. FML

#806381
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62271) - you deserved it (3280)

On 04/04/2009 at 9:07pm - kids - by Nottheprettylady (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got pulled over for going a few miles per hour over the speed limit. The cop asked for my license and registration. I happened to look down at my wallet while he was processing everything and saw my license in my wallet. I gave the cop my fake I.D. FML

#5325524
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6956) - you deserved it (58658)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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