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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I threw up in the car. While driving. The good news though, I had a bag to catch it all. Bad news? The bag had a giant hole in the bottom. FML

#15084705
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23886) - you deserved it (3177)

On 02/22/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by CarSick (woman) - United States

Today, an older man sat next to me while he ate his lunch. He dropped what I assumed was his cutlery. Wanting to help out, I picked it up off the floor. It was his teeth. FML

#15259296
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22334) - you deserved it (4214)

On 03/10/2011 at 2:53am - misc - by jules - United States

Today, I wanted to do something special for my upcoming second anniversary with my girlfriend, so I decided to make a short animation of our lives together since we were preschoolers. In the middle of working on the storyboard, she called and broke up with me. FML

#14649899
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26652) - you deserved it (2141)

On 01/20/2011 at 12:18pm - love - by Anonymous - Philippines (Pampanga)

Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML

#14528961
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16831) - you deserved it (6062)

On 01/10/2011 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was so bored I began practicing an irish jig. For two hours. FML

#14847206
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8911) - you deserved it (21565)

On 02/05/2011 at 12:29am - misc - by Youdontneed2knowmyname - United States (California)

Today, I was going through the history on my computer. Apparently, while I was at school my mother used my computer, and I now know my mother wants to learn how to make her breasts look larger, amongst other things. FML

#14794678
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24624) - you deserved it (3300)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:05am - intimacy - by LonelyBoy (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

#15281927
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13539) - you deserved it (28330)

On 03/12/2011 at 5:53am - misc - by Nerrh - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while driving, I slowed down and made sure I safely went by a pedestrian, and in the process rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#19133346
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7202) - you deserved it (17439)

On 02/21/2012 at 6:56pm - misc - by me (man) - United States

Today, I went with my beautiful fiancée to tell her Grandmother, who's a bit senile, that we were engaged. Her response: "I know he's very nice, but think about the chubby little ugly children he'll give you". This was followed by a recollection of her ex-boyfriends who would've fathered attractive kids. FML

#15616826
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29077) - you deserved it (2680)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:33am - misc - by Joe (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sprained my sternum in my rugby match. I now can't yell, laugh, cough, inhale or exhale fully, or sneeze without a sharp pain shooting through my chest. I have a pollen allergy, and sneeze every 5 or 10 minutes. FML

#15674369
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36683) - you deserved it (3664)

On 04/07/2011 at 12:17am - health - by ouchiee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a Halloween costume for my cat. FML

#17544670
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7342) - you deserved it (34059)

On 08/22/2011 at 2:04am - animals - by vishuzzbabe77 - United States

Today, I received a coupon for a special offer including flights and accommodation for the honeymoon destination that my fiancé and I are keen on. Yesterday, I paid the full price for the flight tickets and hotel deposit for the honeymoon. FML

#19362332
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20111) - you deserved it (2048)

On 03/28/2012 at 6:47am - money - by honeymooner (man) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, I was trying to convince my husband to not trim the lower branches of my favorite tree. After pleading my case, I turned around and ran smack into one of said branches. My face and my dignity still hurt. FML

#19636760
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7308) - you deserved it (17484)

On 05/17/2012 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)



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