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Today, I'm getting married. I have a big poofy white dress and, oh yes, the shits. Here's hoping I can make it down the aisle without rushing off to the toilet. FML

#21241662
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42173) - you deserved it (3151)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:01pm - love - by ithinkicanmakeit - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my skinny co-worker complained that sitting just underneath the AC vent was making her too cold. My boss had us switch places, because "your mass keeps you warm anyway". FML

#21288043
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32415) - you deserved it (4542)

On 10/29/2014 at 10:41pm - work - by OfficeFatty - United States

Today, my anxiety got so bad that when I stole a sword in Skyrim and resisted arrest, I had a full-on panic attack as I ran away. I ended up curling up on the sofa as my character got hacked to death on the TV. FML

#21294889
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30317) - you deserved it (7991)

On 11/08/2014 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous S'wit (man) - Portugal

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

#21271220
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35679) - you deserved it (3041)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, these cute girls approached me and asked me to take a picture of them. One girl asked me if I could send it to her because her phone had died. I was excited to have her number, but it turns out that she deleted the message after she sent the picture to herself. FML

#21330933
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25853) - you deserved it (6330)

On 01/04/2015 at 10:10pm - love - by fml - United States

Today, I was let go from my internship for "not putting in enough effort". I was working 50 hours a week for almost zero pay. FML

#21386456
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30531) - you deserved it (2272)

On 04/02/2015 at 10:48am - work - by Wellfu (woman) - Europe

Today, I took my driving test. I was really nervous, but I thought I did pretty well in the end. That is until I parked the car and looked to the examiner. He was visibly shaken. He said I'd passed, quickly filled in the paperwork and left. On the downside, my car still smells of his shart. FML

#21339037
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31304) - you deserved it (3403)

On 01/17/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by for shite's sake (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her reason? Not enough guys have been liking her photos on Instagram since we started dating. FML

#21335495
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34436) - you deserved it (2970)

On 01/12/2015 at 12:03am - love - by yankeeboy123 - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

#21387543
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31683) - you deserved it (2498)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

#21366431
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30132) - you deserved it (4103)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by meeeee! - United States (Delaware)

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

#21369995
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26065) - you deserved it (8230)

On 03/07/2015 at 3:14pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML

#21384585
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26692) - you deserved it (2089)

On 03/31/2015 at 3:40am - kids - by Teach (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML

#21383476
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30963) - you deserved it (2703)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:54am - kids - by M.SHUKRI - United States (Illinois)



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