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Today, at 6 in the morning, I sneezed so hard I fell off my bed. I guess I'm up for the day. FML

#20898877
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38547) - you deserved it (4607)

On 09/28/2013 at 6:53am - misc - by blackcat37 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML

#20895521
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40410) - you deserved it (8246)

On 09/25/2013 at 10:42am - intimacy - by what (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was told there was a bench warrant out for my arrest because a notice to appear for jury duty was sent to my old address and I never responded. I haven't lived at my old address for 2 years. FML

#20903036
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39322) - you deserved it (3653)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:34am - misc - by novapine (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML

#20927250
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44943) - you deserved it (5530)

On 10/20/2013 at 8:39am - health - by cantcloselegs (woman) - United States

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

#20904358
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31538) - you deserved it (51900)

On 10/02/2013 at 4:12am - kids - by PickedOnByDamien (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I let a friend cut my hair. I soon went from having a 'fro to looking like I lost a fight with a lawn mower. FML

#20923915
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33129) - you deserved it (16510)

On 10/17/2013 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML

#20923824
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43558) - you deserved it (4411)

On 10/17/2013 at 9:43am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML

#20937069
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38603) - you deserved it (3870)

On 10/28/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

#20968136
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45579) - you deserved it (4558)

On 11/23/2013 at 4:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, while shopping for clothes, I asked the assistant to recommend something for me. She took me to the maternity section. Thanks, but I'm not pregnant. FML

#20956268
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39816) - you deserved it (7323)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by fml - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I called a pest control company to ask them to come over to my place to help get rid of rats. The person on the phone told me to "be a man and stop acting like a girl". I'm a woman. FML

#20994255
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37659) - you deserved it (3119)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Mary (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "after I eat" or maybe even "when I'm tired". What I got was "every second since you were born". FML

#21022393
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41910) - you deserved it (5163)

On 01/09/2014 at 11:01am - love - by BornToBeABurden (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to my first ever job interview. I thought I was doing well, until the recruiter asked why he should hire me. The only thing I could say was "Because I'm really, really nervous right now?" FML



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