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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML

#17633195
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28891) - you deserved it (2293)

On 09/01/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by bob - United States

Today, I was walking back to my hotel from the town square, and got lost. I turned back and walked around town for an hour, freaking out and panicking. When I finally found the hotel, I realized it was practically a stone's throw from where I was when I turned around. FML

#19313796
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15438) - you deserved it (6058)

On 03/20/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Orebro Lan)

Today, I was on an airplane, waiting to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes, the man behind me asked what I was waiting for, and checked the bathroom. It was empty, and there was a big line behind me. FML

#19601816
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7830) - you deserved it (24067)

On 05/10/2012 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

#18642505
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21251) - you deserved it (4305)

On 12/29/2011 at 7:01am - health - by Girl-of-very-little-brain (woman) - Canada

Today, while working at the zoo, I noticed a boy throwing candy into the warthog's exhibit. The fastest way to get there was to go through the exhibit, and speak to the kid from inside. I must have said three words when a lollipop hit me in the eye. Then the warthog peed on me. FML

#18556039
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23029) - you deserved it (3629)

On 12/19/2011 at 7:56pm - work - by jigglypuff100 (woman) - United States

Today, my mother refused to agree with any of my logic because it's "not in the bible." She can't find any fault with it, just refuses to agree with it. FML

#18491366
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24816) - you deserved it (3465)

On 12/12/2011 at 1:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out why my District Manager won't promote me to store manager; his wife thinks he's having an affair with me. If he promotes me, she will take that as evidence of the affair, and then will threaten to divorce him. FML

#20045096
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21869) - you deserved it (1337)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:09pm - work - by Mandi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML

#19433649
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20409) - you deserved it (2303)

On 04/08/2012 at 11:29pm - love - by Stinky. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16499) - you deserved it (1990)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

#19873141
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18273) - you deserved it (2109)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -

Today, despite the fact that I'm really sick, my mom insisted that I come home and help babysit my cousins this weekend. When I got there, everyone else took off to do "errands," leaving me with three hyperactive, howler monkey-like children to deal with. FML

#19467974
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20932) - you deserved it (2367)

On 04/14/2012 at 6:19pm - kids - by Rory - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML

#19699076
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18165) - you deserved it (1537)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:52pm - work - by vikts (man) - Luxembourg (Luxembourg)

Today, a cop turned his lights and siren on to pull me over. I pulled into a parking lot and got a ticket. It wasn't until the cop pulled away that I realized that I'd pulled into, and interrupted, an on-going funeral visitation. FML

#19847830
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19593) - you deserved it (4452)

On 06/25/2012 at 11:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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