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Today, I got a second notice from the mailman that my mail would not be delivered because of the pile of ice a plow had pushed in front of my mailbox. After getting the first notice, I'd spent an hour in the cold busting up the ice with a pick to clear a path. He put both notices in my mailbox. FML

#14994947
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22669) - you deserved it (2285)

On 02/15/2011 at 9:40pm - misc - by K (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had two minutes to get to the bus stop which usually takes me eight minutes. I had to catch that bus to be at work at the hospital in time. I was in such a hurry, I didn't have the time to tie my shoe laces. I ran with untied shoe laces. I did end up in the hospital. FML

#4108973
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32030) - you deserved it (12920)

On 07/28/2009 at 2:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Finnmark)

Today, I was trying to look cute in front of this really nice guy. I sure hope he thinks smacking into a pole, rebounding backwards and knocking over an old man is cute. FML

#5325412
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11056) - you deserved it (26934)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:14am - love - by mudafkrmas (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML

#5509745
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17594) - you deserved it (2359)

On 09/27/2009 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by e11ie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a new cell phone. I was unable to retrieve my old contact list from my old phone, so I sent out a mass email asking my friends to "Give me your contact info, unless you don't want me to text/call you!" No one is responding. FML

#5390873
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28373) - you deserved it (10302)

On 09/21/2009 at 9:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I worked my first day at a nursery. At nap time I spent about an hour trying to get all the kids to calm down and go to sleep. I'd finally got the last one to drop off, when my phone rang. Loudly. FML

#5066091
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10170) - you deserved it (34273)

On 09/05/2009 at 7:02pm - misc - by bubbles (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

#5876001
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12762) - you deserved it (2105)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:29am - intimacy - by Ignitingmylightsaber (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

#5968472
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27728) - you deserved it (2875)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend, making plans to see him tomorrow. He ended the conversation by saying "I'm changing my sheets tomorrow, so take a shower." FML

#5892198
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16647) - you deserved it (5223)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Shower? - Sent from mobile version

Today, whilst singing at school in front of 300 visiting primary school children I forgot the second verse to my song and let out an F*** word with the microphone still up to my face. FML

#6364461
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6554) - you deserved it (31322)

On 11/19/2009 at 1:10am - kids - by fail (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I auditioned for a part and made it because the director thought I would be "perfect" for the part and I was "just like the character in every way." The part is for a schizophrenic drug addict who everyone hates and is stabbed to death in the second scene. FML

#6274583
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23899) - you deserved it (3658)

On 11/12/2009 at 4:37pm - work - by Falafax (man) - United States

Today, I invited my crush to come and spend thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, she agreed but asked me if she could bring her friend. Turns out her "friend" was actually her boyfriend and they drank all the expensive wine I bought. FML

#6485720
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24665) - you deserved it (6698)

On 11/27/2009 at 10:02pm - love - by lonelyguy (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, it's Saturday. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get my excitement thinking about how I'll be sleeping with a new pillow. FML

#6733477
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22295) - you deserved it (5964)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by soy_un_perderdor (man) - United States (Texas)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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