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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

#7327213
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6838) - you deserved it (34913)

On 01/13/2010 at 9:04pm - misc - by nekkiddrunk - United States

Today, I went on an interview for a job that I had been wanting for months. I thought everything was going great. On my way out, my interviewer asked me to recycle something for him. I agreed. It was my resume. FML

#7324438
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30288) - you deserved it (1830)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:05pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I confessed my love to a guy I've been flirting with for months. He then decided to reject me through a poem on Facebook for all of our friends to read. FML

#7255685
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26169) - you deserved it (3579)

On 01/10/2010 at 9:48am - love - by VAngelique (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out the guy I've been seeing for 3 months lives at home with his parents. He's 30. They live in a '50+ only' housing complex and he sneaks in the side door. FML

#7313507
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27082) - you deserved it (3547)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:11am - love - by ilu.xo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that you need to clean your car more often when you find a mouldy burrito under the back seat. FML

#7560337
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4367) - you deserved it (29294)

On 01/25/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I had to sell my only means of transportation, my 92 Chrysler Lebaron to a junking company because the transmission blew. When the guy finally got there, I had to shovel out the 5 feet of snow around my car, help him push it, and help him hook it up. Then his dog bit me. I only got $100. FML

#8791575
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20908) - you deserved it (2288)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:06am - animals - by MetalAtlas (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had a big meeting. Half way through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-worker but I didn't understand what he meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML

#7809149
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20869) - you deserved it (4104)

On 02/02/2010 at 6:25am - work - by paul - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to pick up my car from where I parked it last night. I walked over to my parking spot only to find a vegetable stand there in its place. Apparently, that's the location of the Saturday Market and they had my car towed. FML

#13292359
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10014) - you deserved it (21375)

On 10/02/2010 at 6:07pm - money - by hunnybaby0319 - United States (New York)

Today, I had to purchase a new flat screen TV for the bar I work at. Last night I was dared to break an ashtray against the wall. I completely missed the wall and smashed the screen of the new TV they bought last month. FML

#13843946
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5069) - you deserved it (41157)

On 11/14/2010 at 7:23pm - money - by ellebelle (woman) - United States

Today, while making New Year's resolutions, I realized that I haven't hung out with anybody other than my family in over two years and I started crying. When my mom came in and I explained why I was crying, she replied, "Well that sucks. I'm off to have lunch with some friends. See you later!" FML

#14432295
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24077) - you deserved it (7313)

On 01/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, on the way home from a night out, I crossed the main road in my town via the traffic lights. As I got to the other side, a guy turned to his two friends and 'whispered' with a look of disgust, "I would have run that one over." Thanks. FML

#8580880
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20354) - you deserved it (2245)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by thetallone (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML

#14296001
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23696) - you deserved it (12168)

On 12/22/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML

#14482213
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26364) - you deserved it (9237)

On 01/06/2011 at 2:35am - health - by Anonymous -



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