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Today, I had the Monday meeting that I have had every week for 8 months. We had new people joining today. One of my bosses went around the room introducing people, and he forgot my name. I've been sitting across from him with a nametag for 8 months. FML

#2501492
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40474) - you deserved it (3564)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:07pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as "My other girlfriend." FML

#5526124
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39937) - you deserved it (3561)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

#5431
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52876) - you deserved it (9139)

On 02/02/2009 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML

#67236
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41340) - you deserved it (18317)

On 02/18/2009 at 9:15am - love - by Sandra (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a Tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no-liquids rule. They took out a bottle of Massage Oil, Lube, Vagasil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

#173589
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24396) - you deserved it (64023)

On 03/01/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Kammy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to get my hair chopped off for a role that I'm playing in a show. I was staring at the floor while the woman cut my hair, and I suddenly heard her start crying. Her tears were immediately followed by "It's okay! I have a friend in New York who can fix it. We won't charge you." FML

#267715
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73799) - you deserved it (3248)

On 03/11/2009 at 1:21am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was with my girlfriend and she was making me listen to one of her recordings for chorus. As I was listening to it a solo came on, and i turned to her and said "This is the worst F*ing solo I've ever heard in my life." Little did I know, it was her solo. FML

#539195
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13165) - you deserved it (78758)

On 03/22/2009 at 8:38pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was going to a concert. I left my wallet at home because I was afraid it would get stolen, or lost or something. After an awesome night, I came back home to find that my house had been broken into, and every dollar that was in my wallet got stolen. FML

Today, I was walking towards the bus. The bus was scheduled to leave at 3:20, and it was 3:19 so I decided to run for it. As the doors were closing, I managed to just slip my hand into the door, so it didn't fully close. The bus driver saw this, looked at my face, and then drove away. FML

#910360
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57829) - you deserved it (4546)

On 04/11/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was running on a track above a basketball court. I noticed several cute guys playing a pick-up game, so I tried to run my hardest. Not paying attention, I didn't hear when they warned me about the ball flying towards me. It hit me in the head, I then ran into a wall and face-planted. FML

#1739978
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17288) - you deserved it (36381)

On 05/08/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was trying to clean the belt of my register at work at a grocery store. I noticed two strips of rubber stuck in the corner of the belt, and after pulling on them periodically all morning one finally came loose. It was a foot. I had been pulling at a dead rat trapped in the belt. FML

#3675667
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44473) - you deserved it (2776)

On 07/11/2009 at 8:33pm - work - by cashier (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boss rang me for the 5th time on my day off. Frustrated I pushed 'ignore' and yelled a string of obscenities at my phone. Turns out I pushed 'talk'. FML

#4994596
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10936) - you deserved it (45201)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:39am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, I was participating in an exercise in my psychology class to describe this horrible looking person I had never seen before and I described the person as a "rebellious, drug dealing, lowlife". The person in that picture turned out to be my teacher. FML

#5826781
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19986) - you deserved it (8455)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



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