Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at work, I was supposed to have an easy two-hour shift, after which I was planning on attending a party that had been arranged to celebrate my graduation. Nearly six hours later, I am just getting home after being super busy and shorthanded at work for hours. I missed my own party. FML

#16052456
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23858) - you deserved it (2222)

On 05/05/2011 at 12:44am - work - by cstokes (woman) - United States

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML

#19098452
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17435) - you deserved it (1608)

On 02/17/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received a bill for damage to my old apartment. The same damage caused by the maintenance guy when he came to fix the pipes about a week before I left. FML

#15464709
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22411) - you deserved it (2268)

On 03/24/2011 at 10:54am - misc - by Renter - United States

Today, a drunk crashed a truck into my porch. Shaken up, I was glad to see that so many of my neighbors had gathered around to comfort me. When the dust settled, I noticed my remaining porch furniture was missing. They weren't consoling me, they were casing the place. FML

#17259270
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26987) - you deserved it (2403)

On 07/25/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by ypsitucky (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

#17270186
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23742) - you deserved it (4628)

On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my extremely OCD girlfriend wouldn't have sex with me because my bedroom wasn't "properly symmetrical." FML

#18623946
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24236) - you deserved it (4867)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:20am - intimacy - by gtfoocd (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I discovered I can properly operate the television remote with my feet. I then realized that it is pretty much my only talent. FML

#17280926
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19850) - you deserved it (7437)

On 07/27/2011 at 6:21pm - misc - by supergirl7 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

#18414489
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20232) - you deserved it (3048)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad asked to borrow some money off me, so I said okay. Later on, he told me he'll be using it to help divorce my mom. I pretty much just helped pay for my parents' divorce. FML

#17777617
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21275) - you deserved it (1783)

On 09/19/2011 at 12:41am - misc - by ThisGuy775 - United States

Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML

#19649582
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7362) - you deserved it (19473)

On 05/20/2012 at 12:06am - health - by Ouch (man) - United States (California)

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

#19349740
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22757) - you deserved it (2422)

On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by text at 1:30 am because he didn't want to give me "the dread of answering a phone call." When I asked him for an explanation, his reply was, "For what?" FML

#19039937
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20120) - you deserved it (2087)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:59am - love - by 1.30am (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my boss got angry at me because my English is better than his. He accused me of trying to steal his management position, and implied that I'll be lucky if I still have a job by the end of the month. FML

#20054257
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15660) - you deserved it (907)

On 09/02/2012 at 3:41pm - work - by zoosmell pooplord - Norway (Buskerud)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: