Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML

#21364599
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33909) - you deserved it (2487)

On 02/27/2015 at 1:24pm - health - by Mark (man) - Malta

Today, a guy called me out of the blue. Apparently, he'd copied my number from a sheet we'd filled out in church. He doesn't understand why I'm "overreacting". FML

#21335287
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26977) - you deserved it (3411)

On 01/11/2015 at 7:39pm - love - by janegeorge (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife received a $15,000 bonus from her work. I got a backpack from mine. FML

#21300231
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28093) - you deserved it (3000)

On 11/16/2014 at 6:25pm - misc - by INeedaNewJob (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML

#21391103
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30384) - you deserved it (2140)

On 04/10/2015 at 2:28am - work - by jobless - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out my husband has been sleeping with one of the women in our marriage counselling group. FML

#21373841
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36329) - you deserved it (2690)

On 03/13/2015 at 2:47pm - love - by scared and alone (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I bit into a piece of homegrown lettuce from my garden. Apparently, I'm not the only one to enjoy my produce, because I took a bite out of a small caterpillar. FML

#21330219
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28797) - you deserved it (9365)

On 01/03/2015 at 8:42pm - misc - by Malina - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying "Hey there." She quickly replied, assuring me that she's not cheating on me. Uh, okay. FML

#21325320
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32696) - you deserved it (2624)

On 12/27/2014 at 2:14pm - love - by is_that_right (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working out on a horse farm. I slipped and fell on some ice, whacking my head on the metal gate in the process. As I was getting up, I accidentally grabbed the electric fence. FML

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

#21329304
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32397) - you deserved it (2460)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to work with a great attitude, something that doesn't happen often. It was shortly ruined after some lady yelled at me because I accidentally shorted her one penny. Yep. One single penny. FML

#21344188
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24702) - you deserved it (3572)

On 01/25/2015 at 8:41pm - work - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30169) - you deserved it (2213)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

#21352037
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34035) - you deserved it (2295)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mother asked me how pasta is harvested. She actually thought it grew out of the ground. FML

#21408925
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26819) - you deserved it (2163)

On 05/12/2015 at 12:37pm - misc - by a - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: