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Today, I was at the beach with my friend for vacation. We were playing Marco Polo in the ocean and I was Marco. I thought I heard my friend, so I lunged forward and grabbed her. Too bad it wasn't my friend, it was an old guy in a pink speedo, and I grabbed his butt. FML

#6618449
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23360) - you deserved it (8466)

On 12/05/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by yoyo22 - United States

Today, I woke up to see that I had two black eyes from a cheerleading stunt gone wrong yesterday. I decided to curl my hair to distract from them. While curling my hair I accidentally burned my cheek. I now have two black eyes and a huge burn on my cheek. My extended family is coming tomorrow. FML

#6926304
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22252) - you deserved it (6464)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML

#6966482
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5000) - you deserved it (39141)

On 12/27/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by Unfortunate (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the police stopped me for "driving irresponsibly" in the snowy conditions. After the 'lecture', they went to pull off in their Ford Focus Estate. Managing to go forward, they then hit a patch of ice and slid back. Instead of breaking or turning, they let it slide back into the front of my car. FML

Today, I ran 5 miles to catch the bus I take to university after missing my connection. When I got to the bus stop, I realized I had left my U-Pass on my desk at home. On top of the assignment that was due. FML

#7493259
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23131) - you deserved it (7710)

On 01/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by noooooo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my smoke alarm went off. In a frenzy, I called 9-1-1 and exited my house. Several minutes later a fire truck showed up. After investigating, one of the firemen informed me I needed to change the batteries in my smoke alarm. FML

#7375995
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6289) - you deserved it (32373)

On 01/16/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by lollerskate (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML

#7278276
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34312) - you deserved it (2829)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:12pm - love - by JK2010 (man) - Israel (Hefa)

Today, I drove 4 hours to see my girlfriend of a year, as she had asked me to stay with her for a few days. When I arrived she told me she wanted to be friends as she liked someone else, but wanted me to stay the few days so we could work on being friends. FML

#7404884
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31051) - you deserved it (2113)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:30pm - love - by longtrip (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I went in to work and was handed a write-up for having lied about being sick in order to leave early yesterday. Apparently, a co-worker saw me leave the parking lot, then immediately pull into the shopping center next door. I was going to Walgreens for cold medicine. FML

#7662732
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29144) - you deserved it (1959)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - health - by sixxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a family funeral. Talking to my grandfather, trying the make chitchat, he says "You're gaining weight, aren't you?" FML

#8683563
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22000) - you deserved it (3828)

On 02/27/2010 at 5:15am - misc - by livvlynette (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

#13525218
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26533) - you deserved it (3125)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:08pm - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was standing in the elevator with a few people I just met when I moved in yesterday, I felt something fall on my hair and dusted it off. It was a cockroach. None of them will come within a 1m distance to me now, because they all think I've got lice. Welcome to the building! FML

#8713665
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22079) - you deserved it (2080)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by idonthavelice (woman) - China (Guangdong)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML

#14139817
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33827) - you deserved it (3806)

On 12/09/2010 at 4:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - France



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