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Today, I was walking with a female friend when suddenly, my ex-girlfriend comes running down the street and says, "So, you're cheating on me with this slut, huh?!" We've been separated for a decade now. FML

#21336664
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37776) - you deserved it (2685)

On 01/13/2015 at 10:05pm - love - by RipeFlame - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother confused the terms 'necromancy' and 'necrophilia'. We had a great talk about why you shouldn't have sex with dead people. FML

#21364935
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27024) - you deserved it (2560)

On 02/27/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by bobjope -

Today, I decided to get in shape for swimsuit season, so I went to the gym. I tried to lift a barbell up and over my head, which was fine, until I dropped it. Exercise earned me a concussion and a neck brace. FML

#21413444
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22884) - you deserved it (10329)

On 05/21/2015 at 8:22am - health - by crossfitter -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her reason? Not enough guys have been liking her photos on Instagram since we started dating. FML

#21335495
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36085) - you deserved it (3126)

On 01/12/2015 at 12:03am - love - by yankeeboy123 - United States (Florida)

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

#21335645
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34025) - you deserved it (3919)

On 01/12/2015 at 7:53am - love - by fukinlonely (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to overcome my shyness by warmly greeting the bus driver while entering it. I instead blurted out really loudly the words of the song my iPod was playing. FML

#21359655
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28862) - you deserved it (6693)

On 02/20/2015 at 3:12am - misc - by OzzyWannabee - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to serve an incredibly rude and irrationally angry customer, but I managed to keep my cool. When he finally went to leave with his purchase, I wished him a good day. He whirled around and yelled "I'll have whatever the fuck kind of day I want, bitch!" FML

#21453572
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26335) - you deserved it (1792)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:23pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom told me that, even though my brother sells drugs, he's still her favorite child. FML

#21359996
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33697) - you deserved it (2786)

On 02/20/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by pissed - United States (Illinois)

Today, the only reason my husband agreed to marriage counselling is because he finds our therapist attractive. FML

#21434782
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28229) - you deserved it (2557)

On 07/01/2015 at 9:35am - love - by ouch - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML

#21447824
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24314) - you deserved it (4587)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:43am - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend keeps my toenails in her deceased grandmother's prized music box. She says it's to, "Keep the box natural." I don't understand why she does this, or what she means by "natural." FML

#21383678
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24279) - you deserved it (2057)

On 03/29/2015 at 5:18pm - misc - by coldasfire - United States

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML

#21460410
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21221) - you deserved it (5399)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I, along with two cops and another paramedic, had to fight to pin down some total scumsucker. He was high out of his mind on god knows what, in his underwear, screaming like a maniac outside someone else's house at 2 in the morning. I don't get paid nearly enough for this shit. FML

#21450305
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22892) - you deserved it (2443)

On 08/01/2015 at 2:18am - work - by hook me up with some smack, Jack (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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