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Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

#6001058
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13228) - you deserved it (8474)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Brian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I won a raffle organised by a friend. I discovered one of the "prizes" was actually a present that I had given to her, that she had "loved". When I asked her where she had gotten it, she said, "Oh, just some crap someone gave me once." She didn't even remember that I had given it to her. FML

#6036914
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26739) - you deserved it (2821)

On 10/28/2009 at 7:00am - misc - by Rhea (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, before having morning sex, my girlfriend for over a year whispers to me "Do that thing you did at the Halloween party". There was no morning sex as I reminded her that I was sick with the flu then and didn't go with her to the party. FML

#6166479
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21912) - you deserved it (1976)

On 11/05/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by James (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants by my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML

#6211440
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16444) - you deserved it (1395)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:50pm - misc - by lauren_rox (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up to a phone call from my boss' wife. She demanded to know how long we'd been sleeping together. When I denied her allegations, she screamed that she knew all about my "history of sleeping with married men". I'm a virgin and I have to work with him tomorrow. FML

#6335196
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28417) - you deserved it (1592)

On 11/16/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by bad_day_in_hell - United States (Montana)

Today, I asked my boss for my first raise in almost two years, to which he replied, "In the real world, I think you've definitely earned one, but this isn't the real world." FML

#6115466
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28893) - you deserved it (1719)

On 11/02/2009 at 4:03am - work - by fmyjob (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was informed by my boss that he has been stealing quarters out of my change bowl to pay for his bus rides. He makes six times the amount I make. FML

#6274623
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26379) - you deserved it (1748)

On 11/12/2009 at 4:40pm - work - by JBK06262009 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I used the same credit card to apply to college and pay for a rave ticket. My card went through on the rave ticket but denied the college application fee. I guess my credit card is trying to tell me something about my future. FML

#6490055
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20619) - you deserved it (8883)

On 11/28/2009 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was shopping at the grocery market and was next in line. Behind me was a woman who only had two items, so I nicely let her in front of me, as it looked like she was in a hurry. When she was all rung up, she decided to pay her $16.45 in loose change which needed to be counted out. FML

#6510411
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25998) - you deserved it (5318)

On 11/29/2009 at 8:49am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was pulling into a parking garage space and using the next car over to judge where the wall was in front of me, but ended up whumping my front bumper as I pulled forward. Wondering what had happened, I got out to see that the car I was aligning myself against had hit the wall too. FML

#6703564
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6355) - you deserved it (20071)

On 12/11/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I backed into our new garage door. The same new garage door that we purchased because I broke our old one by backing into it. FML

#7137306
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5461) - you deserved it (36565)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by Lil_bit - France

Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs while dropping everything else I was holding. FML

#7163475
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21313) - you deserved it (5773)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:58pm - misc - by SplashOuch (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting at the bar of a popular local restaurant. I sat there for a few hours and drank my sorrows away with the bartender. I thought she was pretty, and decided to give her a large tip. The tip sent me over my credit card limit, and the bartender is not single. FML

#7117686
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5730) - you deserved it (27192)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by halien1982 (man) - United States (Ohio)



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